New Beginnings
by Janiceelynn
Summary: When what starts as a game for the promiscuous Edward Cullen quickly turns into the real deal, can he convince new girl Bella Swan to let go of her painful past and hold onto what’s really true? AH/OOC/Canon pairings.
1. New Girl

**Summary: **When what starts as a game for the promiscuous Edward Cullen quickly turns into the real deal, can he convince new girl Bella Swan to let go of her painful past and hold onto what's really true? AH/OOC/Canon pairings.

**Rating: **M for language and sexual content.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 1: New Girl**

**Edward Cullen**

I was awoken by the repulsive sound of my alarm clock blaring at the ungodly hour of seven AM. I groaned, reaching a hand over to the area of the offensive noise and knocked the thing off the nightstand. I sighed in relief as I felt myself slip back into a comfortable slumber.

"Edward, get the fuck up. Mom made pancakes," Emmett screamed, obnoxiously banging on my bedroom door. I groaned and lifted my head to check the time before remembering the clock was on the floor.

Yawning; I stretched my arms over my head, then slowly eased myself out of bed while rubbing the rest of my no-sleep out of my eyes. I made my way to the bathroom and grabbed a couple Tylenol from the cabinet to wash away the ache of last night's festivities.

I stretched out my stiff muscles and reached into the shower and turned it on, opting for a cold one due to a very graphic dream.

After my shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and brushed my teeth before walking back to my room to get ready for another shitty day at Forks High.

"Good morning, sweetie," Esme said as I came down the stairs.

"Morning," I grumbled, walking over to kiss her on the cheek while grabbing my plate and a glass of juice.

I sat down slowly, flinching slightly each time Emmett clinked his fork on his plate. I sighed and carefully cut my food trying not to add to the piercing noise.

"Your principal called," Carlisle said without looking up from his newspaper. His voice was eerily calm and I inwardly groaned at what I knew was about to come.

"Go on," I prodded with a sigh, knowing there was no way to avoid it.

"He said you skipped last period of school yesterday and from what your mother told me you skipped curfew as well." I glared at the traitor, making a mental note to stop giving her kisses in the morning as Carlisle folded his newspaper and put it on the table next to his plate, finally meeting my eyes. "Care to explain?" he asked firmly, raising his brow and leaving no room to back out.

My throbbing headache had yet to die down and I was thoroughly sleep deprived; I didn't need this shit in the morning.

I sighed and palmed the back of my neck in an effort to ease some of the tension. "Uh, I wasn't feeling good so I came home forgetting that I had to finish a project, my partner called and I went over to their house and lost track of time." I shrugged; eh, it was the best I could come up with this god damn early in the morning.

Emmett snickered and I shot him a glare while Carlisle gave me a knowing look and mumbled something about talking about it later. I rolled my eyes and finished my food, grabbed my bag and car keys off the table then headed out the door throwing a, "See yah" over my shoulder with Emmett trailing behind me.

"So what'd you really do last night?" Emmett broke the semi-peaceful silence by asking his normal intrusive questions about my life, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Nothing." I shrugged, risking a glance towards him through the corner of my eye.

He sat there giving me the do-you-think-I'm-fucking-stupid look with his eyebrows all raised and whatnot.

I sighed taking my right hand of the gearshift and running it through my hair. "I got drunk with some of the La Push kids and called Jessica for a drive. We fooled around a bit and I went home. I'm sure you'll hear all the dirty details later on today. That girl's relentless."

He looked at me slightly confused and I knew what he was thinking but due to the non-existent filter from his brain to his mouth, the question was asked anyways.

"I thought you stopped hitting that shit? Said 'she ran her mouth too much and was bad for your game'." He stopped and laughed at his own train of thought before shaking his head and continuing his little lecture. "I mean, sure she's decent looking and all but she's such a bitch, it's a big cockblock. Girls don't want to put up with her shit."

I laughed shaking my head at his bluntness.

"Yeah, well I was drunk and it's not like we have a wide selection here in Forks-population-of-twelve anyways," I defended lamely, my smirk still in place as I turned into the school's parking lot.

"What the –" I gaped at the old truck in my spot. I turned to Emmett who just shrugged.

"Just park beside it and tell whoever it is to back the fuck off and park somewhere else next time," was his brilliant advice.

'_Well fan-fucking-tastic,'_ I thought bitterly as I pulled the Volvo into the spot to the left of the piece-of-shit truck, grabbed my bag and walked into the school, slamming the door a little harder than necessary.

A few guys gave me wary looks, probably from how pissed off I seemed. They knew when to back the fuck off. While the same girls as always were flirting shamelessly, trying to inconspicuously shove their numbers into my pants' pockets like they're James-fucking-Bond or something.

Shrugging them off, I marched down the hall in search of the one person who I was absolutely positive would know who the truck belonged to, until I stopped in front of the cafeteria where our normal morning meet and greet shit went down.

Alice, the short, black spiky haired pixy was placed on her ever so loving boyfriend Jasper's lap at our normal table. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat so they'd know I was there.

Jasper looked up and gave me a knowing look and relocated Alice in his lap.

"I take it you've seen the truck," he spoke nonchalant, playing absentmindedly with a strand of Alice's hair. She giggled and nibbled on his ear a bit and I wanted to kick him in the face and throw her on the ground because this shit wasn't funny, this was my fucking school and that's my fucking spot.

"Shut up, Jasper. Who owns it Alice? I know you fucking know."

She rolled her eyes and snapped a piece of gum in her mouth. I on the other hand was clenching and unclenching my fists, fully prepared to teach whatever guy rolled up here the rules of the school.

"New girl, Bella Swan," she said matter-of-factly before smacking at her gum a couple more times. I was just about to turn on my heal in search of this nerdy-parking-spot-stealing-son-of-a-bitch before I actually took in the words she spoke: new _girl._

Of course then my cock took over the interrogation. "Is she hot?" I asked eagerly, silently praying she was at least doable. This school seriously needed an upgrade.

Pixy girl just shrugged and gave me no more, so I bid their bitch asses' farewell and went in search of my latest conquest.

**Bella Swan**

I went to school early my first day to pick up all the paperwork so I could get in class before the rest of the students. I wanted to find a seat and do my best to stay out of the spotlight.

In Arizona I was never really popular. I didn't have a bunch of friends or get invited to any parties. My life, to me, was like a dream; a cloudy representation of what was going on around me. I stood there silently and watched the days go by through someone else's eyes as my body remained motionless in the center of catastrophe, though I was never the center of anything.

I was the type of girl who faded into the background, who never really fit in. I was pale skinned in a tan world, brown hair when I should be blonde, I was a klutz and a completely average girl who got good grades and read books in her spare time, and not just any books, classics. I was sarcastic and boring; I talked in my sleep and tended to blush way more than necessary. I was the epitome of plain Jane.

Then the summer before junior year in high school I had a growing spurt of sorts. I grew into my lanky arms and legs, gained a little meet on my bones, my face was more symmetrical and actually somewhat pretty. I fit into my new womanly curves less awkwardly and all of a sudden, people talked to me.

At first I reveled in the attention, it felt good having people complement me on my looks and want to hang out, so I went with it. I had some fun, tried some things I probably shouldn't have and just like that I'm cool. It took me awhile to realize the consequences to my actions; I was left lost and broken. My mom was worried and barely had time for her new husband, he was always complaining to her about them never spending enough time together because of me, and I could see she started to resent me for that.

I was mortified. My mom used to be my best friend, she was there when I had no one else, and she wouldn't judge me or criticize me. She loved me unconditionally and there I was pushing her away. My bad judgements and mistakes had me depressed and I knew she missed the old me. I knew I had to change.

After the incident happened, I was embarrassed and hurt. I finished out my junior year and wallowed the duration of the summer. When school started back up in September I put up a mask, I did my best to ignore the stares and whispers but eventually it was just too much to handle.

Between needing to leave and giving my mom her space I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone and move to Forks with my dad, Charlie. I get out of the drama and start fresh where no one was there to witness my past and crack a cruel joke at my expense and Renée and Phil can do what-the fuck-ever; Win-win.

Apparently new kids don't go unnoticed like they do in Phoenix and from the minute I got out of the truck Charlie got me so that I didn't have to walk down the one street in Forks, all eyes were on me. I knew they couldn't have many people in a town so small, but I figured they'd at least have more than two hundred students tops, my old school had that many in their junior class alone. I didn't think me coming would be such a big deal. I was starting to get that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach; I should have been used to the attention by now but it intimidated me, there was no avoiding it, no running from it; It was just there.

At least they were looking at me in a positive light, sort of. Guy's were whistling cat calls as I walked down the parking lot, girls were sneering because guys were whistling cat calls all the while I just shrugged them off doing my best to blend in, unsuccessfully I might add.

I took a look at the building I would spend the rest of senior year in, or buildings rather, as I walked towards the main doors. The gym, cafeteria, and office were in the larger section of the area. Then there were a few other smaller buildings that I can only assume were the classrooms.

I came to the school just as it started to rain, I could hear the plitter platter of the drops against the roof as I made my way through the doors, trying to seem indifferent to the looks and whispers. I knew it was only because I was new, that they wanted to know my story, but it was still a little unsettling; too close to home.

The door to the office made a squeaky noise as I pushed it open, alerting the secretary of my arrival. I walked up to the desk and waited, tapping my fingers on the counter impatiently.

"Uh, excuse me?" I asked, because apparently she hadn't heard the obnoxious door five feet away. She looked up to me and smiled brightly.

"Hi there, you must be Isabella Swan."

'_No shit_,' I though bitterly.

Since I barely gave my father any warning to my arrival he had only had enough time to get me registered in the school, evidently referring me to Isabella rather than my preferred abbreviation; Bella. So the staff and a few old family friends were the only ones who knew I was coming. Probably adding to the curious stares flying my way in every which direction.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and smiled back politely.

"Bella, and yeah that's me." I gave a little half hearted wave.

She smiled and nodded then went back to her computer, the sound of the keys and mouse clicking filled the otherwise silent room.

"Okay, Bella, I'm Mrs. Cope," she said as she absentmindedly shuffled a stack of papers in her hands before handing them to me. "That there is your agenda, a map of the school, your class list and the school policy form. Your first class is math, that's in building B. You just go out the doors and to the right. You can't miss it," she explained as pointed in the direction I needed to go.

I smiled and thanked her before walking back out through the squeaky door.

Knowing that classes didn't start for another fifteen minutes or so I figured I'd walk around and explore a little. I made my way down the concrete hall until I saw an opening; '_must be the cafeteria.'_

As I walked into the semi-large room, naturally, I tripped, effectively bumping into someone. My papers went flying everywhere and I hurriedly bent down to pick them up, mumbling my pathetic apologizes.

"It's fine," a soprano sound voice spoke.

I looked up to see a small girl with short spiky black hair. Despite the bold 'do, she was really pretty, and the hair actually worked for her. She had style and I could tell she cared about how she looked, though she had the vibe it's more for the love of clothes then the impression on other people, and I respected that.

"Thanks," I mumbled as she handed me my agenda, cursing myself inwardly as I felt the blood rush to my neck and face.

She smiled and waved it off.

"No problem. I'm Alice," she introduced herself happily, a bright smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Bella," I responded smiling back.

she nodded, seemingly hyper as we continued to talk.

"Is that your truck out front?" she asked curiously as she pointed to my truck in the window.

I blushed again and nodded, I loved my truck but it wasn't exactly the best looking thing.

She laughed; the sound was light and happy and I couldn't help but feel my spirits lift from the very presence of this perky, interesting girl.

"What?" I asked not allowing my smile to falter at the thought of her making fun of my truck.

"That's Edward's spot," she said simply. I looked at her curiously and as if a light dawned on her she added, "He's like 'king shit' here. He doesn't like other people to park there. It's kind of a big deal for him." She shrugged and I just stood there not exactly knowing what to say.

"So where are you from?" Alice asked, purposely changing the topic but looking genuinely interested.

I hated talking about myself but I figured small details wouldn't hurt.

"Originally, actually, I'm from here." She gave me a strange look so I continued to explain. "My dad's Charlie, Chief Swan." A look of recognization flashed through her face and she nodded for me to keep going. "My mom moved to Arizona when I was one and took me with her, and now I'm back." I shrugged; there wasn't much else to tell. Or that I was willing to, at least.

She gave me a warm smile. "Well Bella, I have a feeling we'll be great friends. That table over there –" she said as she pointed to a table that was near the corner of the room, pushed a little further away from the rest. "– is where my friends and I sit. You should sit with us at lunch today and I'll introduce you to them," she offered with a bright and happy smile.

I figured it's better than sitting in the bathroom stall all alone so I agreed.

"Well, class is going to start soon and I want to get a seat before I'm forced to do that whole class introduction thing, so I'll see you later?" I asked.

She gave a little nod in agreement as I waved goodbye and headed towards math.

"Mr. Varner?" I asked, unsure as I read his name of my list of teachers. A tall man with grey hair and glasses looked up from his desk and nodded curiously. "Uh, hi I'm Bella, I think I'm in this class." I gestured to the empty room. There were five minutes left until the bell and I wanted to get everything out of the way before the rest of the class came in.

Mr. Varner nodded again and beckoned me to his desk. "Ah, Ms. Swan," he read off his own list of names. "What can I do for you?" he asked as he lowered his glasses on his nose and looked over them.

"I was wondering if I could get the syllabus and whatever homework I'll need to catch up on now before class starts and you know; avoid the whole interrogating the new kid thing?" I asked, smiling sweetly.

He chuckled and nodded, gathering a few papers in his hands and began to explain what needed to be done. Then he assigned me an unoccupied seat and I spent the rest of the time reading over the forms as the class started to fill.

"You're Isabella right?" I was shocked out of my reading and looked up to see an average looking boy; he seemed decent enough and was fairly attractive. He had dirty blonde hair, blue eyes; pretty much the ideal version of the high school pretty boy.

"Bella," I corrected, "and you are?" I was proud of my boldness as he stood there gaping at me like a moron. I tapped my pen on the desk watching him as he pulled together his resolve. I knew what guys were like, what they wanted, and I wasn't going to be any one of their toys.

I almost laughed when he finally spit out his name.

"Mike," he responded somewhat confidently.

I nodded slowly and looked back down to my work.

"What are you doing?" He leaned down over my shoulder.

I turned my head and gave him a look that had _'what-the-fuck?'_ written all over it but he didn't seem to notice.

"Homework, I need to catch up, it's already late in the year." I tried to shrug him off and focus back on my work but this boy was like a lost puppy and wouldn't leave my side.

"Bella!"

Thank God for Alice.

"Hey Alice." I turned my back on _fido_ and gave Alice an appreciative smile.

She winked before jumping right into conversation, all the while glaring at Mike until he finally got the hint and stumbled back to his seat.

"I didn't know you had this class! Now we get to sit together." She clapped happily.

I giggled at her excitement, feeling relieved to have Mike off my back.

The rest of class went by fairly smooth. I did my work and talked about meaningless things with Alice to help pass the time and before I knew it, class was done.

"What do you have next?" she asked curiously as we packed up our bags.

I took out my sheet and read it over.

"Bio with Mr. Banner." I shrugged.

She nodded in recognization and explained the way before we parted.

"Don't forget to sit with us at lunch," she called from down the hall.

Smiling, I nodded and made my way to class.

I walked down the scuffed hallway and out the side door to building A; bio. The class was filling pretty fast and by the time I got in most of the seats were taken. I walked up to the front desk where the teacher handed me the required materials and pointed to the one empty table.

Ignoring the looks on my way to my seat, I shrugged off my bag, taking out the books I would need for the class, and shoved it under the table next to my feet, waiting patiently for the class to start.

Fifteen minutes in, there were still looks and whispers. I rolled my eyes and scanned idly over the bio worksheet, all the while trying to focus on the teacher's lecture. After a few minutes of pointless effort I let my mind drown out the monotone voice and wonder back into my painful past.

"_How could you be so naïve?" she sneered as I tried to keep the moisture in my eyes at bay. "You're not worth his or any of our time. So why don't you just do us all a favor and leave?" With one last glare she turned on her heal and marched out the door, the echo of her words still playing in my head._

_I leaned against the wall as my knees gave out and sunk to the floor in tears. I was never enough, _we_ were never enough. _

The door creaked open interrupting my thoughts and my head snapped up towards the intrusive sound.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Cullen," Mr. Banner snapped sarcastically as Adonis himself walked right through the door.

**

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Author's Note:** Okay, so that's the first chapter. Let me know what you think and if it's any good. The rest of the chapters Bella and Edward's POV will be separate. Just a heads up there.

Remember I'm trying something new, so please be nice and constructive criticism is always welcome :)

- Janicee.


	2. Lost In Your Eyes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 2: Lost in Your Eyes**

**Edward Cullen**

After my little chat with Alice I walked back outside the school to light up a smoke. My mind was racing nonstop with thoughts about this new girl, but no matter how hard I tried to picture her, I just couldn't. I needed to see her with my own eyes, I was getting anxious. I didn't want to be too late and find out she's smokin' hot and all the guys at school have already hit it. The last thing I needed was Newton getting to her first and tainting fresh goods.

I sighed as I let the smoke fill my lungs, effectively calming my nerves, as I watched other students walk into their separate buildings.

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett called as he and his girlfriend Rose appeared in front of me. I flicked the cherry off the half smoked cigarette and placed it back in the pack, shooting him a pointed glare.

"Do not call me Eddie," I warned, turning towards the English building.

"Wait!" his voice boomed over the crowd of people around us. I turned slowly to look at him, raising my brow as a silent question, prodding him to go on. "Jakes here, he's looking for you." He pointed towards the woods.

I nodded, silently thanking God, and watched as my brother took Rose by the hand and lead her towards their class.

Ignoring the warning bell signaling the beginning of first period, I made my way through the ball field, hopping the four foot fence and walked through the familiar path towards the clearing.

The clearing was about five minutes away from the school and far enough in the woods that no one ever stumbled across it, except for those who already knew it was there.

A ray of light shone through the opening of the trees as I made my way through the forest. When I reached the end of the makeshift trail, I spotted Jake planted on a rock and hunched over the tin on his lap.

Making the best of an uncomfortable situation, I maneuvered through the rocks and twigs and leaned against a tree nearby.

"Hey, man," I said half-heartedly.

He nodded in response and finished rolling his joint.

"Where's Sam at?" I asked curiously, running my hand through my hair. I really hated these awkward formalities but the silence seemed even worse.

"He had some business to take care of up in Port Angeles." he answered simply after he lit the joint and took a hit; his voice was clouded with smoke. After a couple more puffs, he let the smoke seep out of his mouth and passed the joint to me.

I took a long drag, reveling in the light feeling. I really needed it.

Sam was the leader of their so called 'pack'. He dealt the drugs but never did them himself, apart from a dooby every now and then. He knew how fucked up that other shit was, having dealt with and to those who were addicted, and there are some pretty fucked up druggies. I mean, I've seen decent people get fucked over getting caught up in cocaine and shit and just throwing their life away. I wanted to be a doctor and there is no way in hell I was giving that up for something as bullshit as blow.

"Getting some more merchandise?" I asked after the joint had been passed back and forth a couple more times.

He nodded while holding the almost burnt out bud to his mouth and finished it off.

Jake and I weren't really friends. Actually we weren't really anything. But Jake owed me some money so I let him pay it back through dope. The deal was, he came and shared when he got it and when he was all paid off he'd peace the fuck out and we'd be back to our don't-give-a-shit-about-each-other appearance.

After an awkward goodbye, I decided to skip English and just chill in my car listening to music and riding out the rest my high.

I leaned the leather seat all the way back, closed my eyes and let the classical melodies flow through my ears. I didn't give a fuck what anyone else thought, classical shit kept you melo and that's what I needed seeing how that ugly piece of metal was still currently parked in my spot.

A loud knock on the glass pulled me out of my internal bitchin'. I looked over to see Lauren Mallory smiling at me through the passenger side window, leaning in just enough for me to get a good look at the twins.

I sighed, a distraction couldn't hurt and I was still somewhat blitzed so I unlocked the door and let her slide in.

"Hey baby," she purred running her fingers up and down my forearm. I had already resumed my former position lying back with my eyes closed. She wasn't ugly, but she was too much of a bitch for her own good and I preferred to imagine Angelina Jolie having my cock in her mouth anyway.

I gave a slight nod and without saying anything, I unbuckled my pants and opened them just enough for her to get access. She knew the deal and went straight to work. She wasn't the best. I mean, it's not fucking rocket science but I've had better. At least she got me off.

When she was done she wiped her mouth and smirked like she was God's gift to man or some shit. I knew she liked me, I mean I was Edward fucking Cullen obviously she liked me, but I wasn't into that exclusive shit so I just leaned over her and opened the door, a silent signal for her to get the fuck out.

She rolled her eyes and hopped out of the car, saying something about my taste in music before swaying her hips seductively as she walked back to wherever she came from but, unfortunately for her, I had already zoned her out to the precious sounds of Clair de Lune.

I checked the time in the car which told me I had about a half an hour before the next class started. Feeling my eyes get heavy, from a mixture of getting practically zero sleep last night, my high wearing down and being some-what spent, I let them fall closed and drift off into a dreamless sleep.

After what felt like ten seconds, a beep from my phone woke me from my pointless nap. I groaned, rubbing my eyes and let out a tired yarn before picking it up and reading the text.

_Where are you? Class started like fifteen minutes ago. - J _

I looked at the clock in my car, noticing that the bastard was right and that I was late for bio, _again_. I rolled my eyes and sent a quick text back explaining that I'd be there in a minute, grabbed my bags and walked towards the building.

The air outside was foggy and I could feel a few light drops of rain splashing against my neck as I made my way through the doors and into the hall. I ran my hand through my hair in an effort to tame down the mixture of sleep and mist, though it was highly unlikely. After awhile I just shrugged it off knowing that people will only assume it was sex hair, and I'm not one to complain. Okay that's a lie, but whatever.

I stopped at the door and looked through the window of class. Banner was in the middle of one of his infamous boring lectures. I chuckled to myself as I walked in, effectively disrupting.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Cullen," he snapped, sarcasm laced in every word.

I rolled my eyes and waved my hand dismissively.

"Any time George," I said before turning towards my desk.

I froze; half pissed off and slightly hard. The new girl was a fucking babe. I mean, she was no Rosalie Hale but she had that timeless beauty. Dark brown hair, heart shaped face which was tinted slightly with a delicious shade of pink. I could feel my cock twitch just by thoughts of having her bent over right now before me. I shook my head slightly and started walking to my seat, trying to focus on the pissed part of my brain, which was currently lacking blood due to my other problem.

I shifted a little before I sat down.

Despite being beyond turned on, I was actually starting to get annoyed. I was having conflicting feelings about her. Sure, she was hot. I'd do her in a heartbeat. But she had some things to learn first. A: do not park in Edward Cullen's spot. It's only common fucking sense. Everyone knew this and I know that _someone_ must have told her by now, so why she didn't move her truck yet is beyond me. And B: this is _my_ desk. This girl comes to my school for _one day_ and already invades my space; twice. I was not pleased, I was turned the fuck on, but I was not pleased.

As I dug out the rest of the shit I needed for class, I could faintly hear Banner still rambling on about my behaviour and not to call him 'George'. I rolled my eyes and tuned him out, instead turning my attention to the culprit.

She was leaning down on the table, her hair blocking my view of her face like a curtain as she drew idly on the paper in front of her. I tilted my head just a bit to see what it was. I was taken aback. I was expecting to see some lame heart or star scribbles or some shit but it wasn't corny or expected; it was intense. It had a story. There was a bird perched on the ground, beak to the sky, with its wings spread as if preparing to fly. The detail in the picture almost made it seem as if the bird was real but what really caught my eye was that the bird was on fire. There was a flame rising up its wings, and ashes were on the ground beneath it from where it had already been burned but the look in the creature's eyes was almost peaceful, waiting for death to embrace it.

The new girl caught me looking and quickly folded the paper up, blushing furiously. She tucked her hair behind her ears, giving me a full view of her face. She turned to look at me, a question in her eyes, probably wondering why I was openly gawking at her.

I was about to introduce myself but the depth in her eyes held me back, it was like something took over, some fucking magnetic pull. Her deep brown eyes sucked me in; there was so much behind them, she seemed so sad. I wanted to ask her so many questions, starting with her drawing, but I couldn't for the life of me speak, which really fucking sucked because I've never been speechless because of a girl before, it just didn't happen. I'm sure I must have looked like a complete idiot opening and closing my mouth several times, trying to form some sort of coherent sentence, but I didn't care and I couldn't even look away.

A few minutes later of us just staring, the bell rang. I silently cursed myself for being such a pussy as she hurriedly packed up her stuff to leave. Before I had a chance to make up for being such a bitch, she was gone, leaving me behind, confused and unbelievably curious.

Alice, that perceptive creature, noticed the look in my face as I entered my next class. She sat two seats ahead of me and turned around with a knowing smirk. I rolled my eyes and shrugged it off, I'd search for the girl at lunch and hopefully at least get my name out of my mouth.

The teacher began babbling on about math or whatever I was not learning in this class while I ran through my head what had happened. Since when did I go blank? _Never._ So what was it with this girl that made my mind stop working? Sure she was pretty, but I've seen a lot of pretty girls. Plus, she hadn't said anything to me either; did I affect her as much as she affected me? I sure as hell hope so.

I was lost in my own train of thought when the bell rang, signaling the end of class and the beginning of lunch. Not paying attention to the time, I was the last one out of class. I walked to my locker, dodging the students standing in the hall talking and fooling around, and put my stuff in before heading towards the cafeteria.

I stopped dead in my tracks, grinding my teeth together and running my hand through my hair aggressively. New girl was sitting at my table; three strikes.

Before walking over and asking her who the hell she thought she was, I wavered my pros and cons.

If new girl sat at my table, she wasn't sitting with any other guys; pro. But by sitting at my table, she was popular by association, therefore more guys would go after her; con. If I walked over to her and told her to get the fuck off my table and move her truck, I probably wouldn't get any ass; definitely a con. And I could probably just ask her nicely to not park in my spot anyway.

figuring that being a douche probably wasn't the best way to go, I decided I would walk over, maybe flirt a little, avoid looking in her eyes at all costs and politely ask her not to park her piece of shit truck in my spot, and then maybe even ask her out on a date.

Resigned, I put on my best fuck-me smile and walked over to my table, her eyes met with mine briefly and a coy smirk played across her luscious lips.

Yep, I was definitely getting some.

**

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Author's Note:** There's Edward's POV. Next will be Bella's.

Thanks everyone for reading and review :)

- Janicee.


	3. Fighting Surrender

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 3: Fighting Surrender**

**Bella Swan**

After Adonis completely shot off the teacher, he started making his way up the aisle. With a shudder, I inconspicuously took a look around before realizing the only empty seat was the one next to me. Sure, he was hot, but I wasn't getting into that anymore. Just that one smart ass comment to the teacher told me he was exactly the type of guy I did not want to get involved with, not that he'd ever want anything besides a quick fuck anyways. I pushed away the anger and hurt that built up with that last thought and ducked my head down towards my desk and got back to my drawing.

I had always loved my home in phoenix and I was unbelievably pissed that one guy had ruined it for me, along with a lot of shit luck and bitchy girls, but it wasn't just the heat and the sun that I loved; the name was so unique, as was the bird that shared it.

When I was little, in school during reading, the teacher brought out a story about the phoenix. The story claimed that the bird could live from five hundred to one thousand years and when it was time for it to die; it would build itself a nest and stand wings spread to the sky and burn to ashes, where a younger version of that phoenix is reborn.

When the teacher was finished reading I remember asking her if the story was real. She gave me a knowing look and told me that the story was a myth and that myths are mostly referred to as false, though some may be real. With a warm smile and a wink she continued on with the lesson, though my mind still wondered on the magical creature.

Ever since then I always believed in reincarnation, that we never truly die, and thought that the phoenix was an excellent example of that and therefore had always admired it.

My eyes started welling up with fresh tears I wouldn't allow to fall and before anyone got the chance to see I took a deep breath and cleared my thoughts. I was already new; I didn't want to be the freak too.

I looked up and glanced over to the boy sitting beside me, only to see his eyes fixated on my drawing. I folded the paper in half, shoving it out of sight as I felt the heat of my embarrassment crawl up my neck and, undoubtedly, cover my face in a dark shade of red.

A piece of hair fell in my eyes and I unconsciously tucked it in behind my ears and turned my head, sneaking a glance beside me to see if he was still looking.

Slowly I trailed my eyes up his face, inwardly kicking myself for my lack of self control but as soon as our eyes met I couldn't find it in me to care, or think. It was almost as if I was blind sighted, I couldn't move or speak, just get lost in his gorgeous green orbs.

I noticed him open and closing his mouth through my peripherals, as if he were about to say something but changed his mind. I looked at him curiously but still he said nothing. It felt like hours of us just sitting there staring when the bell rang pulling me from the intensity of his gaze. I shook my head slightly and grabbed my stuff quickly, but carefully, rushing out to my next class. I had to remember not to get caught in his eyes again, I was far too entranced and it wouldn't be good for me to fall for a guy like him.

I walked into my next class in a daze, still slightly shaken from my odd experience and made my way down the aisle to where my teacher pointed me to go.

I was seated next to some girl who was standing up leaning against her desk, twirling her brown hair in her fingers absentmindedly while she flirted obnoxiously with the guy Mike I had met earlier today. With a shudder, I rolled my eyes and unpacked my things before taking my seat.

A few minutes later the second bell rang and everyone else sat down while the teacher began her lesson. I was taking notes on Spanish terms when the flirty girl next to me tapped me on the shoulder. I suppressed a groan and turned to her, trying my best to smile politely.

"Hi, I'm Jessica," she announced in a slightly stuck up but harmless way.

I held my smile and introduced myself quietly. She smiled back and asked me a few questions about myself before jumping into the latest school gossip from the possibility of some guy named Eric being gay, to some girl named Lauren giving head to the school's playboy, Edward, today during class.

I frowned as she talked about Eric. Whether he _was_ gay or not shouldn't be a reason to be talked about and I wasn't the type to gossip. I really wasn't. It can be hurtful and cruel and I've been on both sides. But as soon as she described Edward I had to hear more. I knew that he was the guy who sat next to me in class, the teacher had said 'Mr. Cullen' when he barged in and interrupted. Plus he was late, which probably meant that the gossip was true and this girl seemed pretty reliable when it came to the school's juice.

"So I'm going to assume that truck outside is yours?" she guessed, though it came out as a question for me to correct if she's wrong.

I simply nodded, already knowing where this was going thanks to Alice this morning.

"You do know that that's Edward's parking spot right?" she asked but before I could respond she continued in a rushed whisper. "You know that he beat up a kid once just for standing in it one day? He's really protective of his stuff like that. He's not the kind to share," she said matter-of-factly and I briefly wondered if she had camera's set up around the town to keep tabs of this sort of stuff but shook that thought off almost immediately to answer.

"Yeah, I know. I mean, not about him beating up a kid or whatever, but I know it's his spot," I whispered, trying not to be caught talking during class from the teacher.

Jessica gave me a look that led me to believe I just spurted and extra head.

"What?" I asked, confused.

She shook herself out of her gaze before speaking. "If you knew, then why didn't you move it?" she asked, dumbfounded.

I rolled my eyes. "Well for one, he doesn't own the parking lot and therefore it really shouldn't matter. Second, he had obviously already parked some where's else if he's in school, so I'm not going to rush out just to move my truck so he can have that spot when we're both already parked, that's stupid." I shrugged.

The look on her face told me that that was the wrong answer but she just shrugged it off and continued on with the day's news, while I held back a shudder and tried to focus on the teacher up front.

To say I was extremely grateful when the bell rang, signaling the end of class and the end of Jessica's pointless babbling, would be an understatement. I almost jumped for joy and danced around the room, but thought against it when my coordination came to mind, or lack thereof, plus I could probably say goodbye to any chance at fitting in at this school at all if I were to.

Smiling at myself, I rushed out of class and into the hall but groaned when I heard Jessica's annoying voice trailing behind me. Forcing my smile back on, I turned around and listened to what she had to say as we both made our way to the cafeteria.

"Well, I got to go Jessica, I'll see you later?" I asked, guiltily hoping she'd say 'no'.

Her eyebrows knit together and her head tilted a little to the side like a confused puppy, save for the cute, as she flicked her hand to point at what appeared to be her table. "Aren't you going to sit with me and my friends?" she asked, as if it were a given.

I sighed, suddenly very thankful to Alice's offer this morning and shook my head. "No, I already promised Alice I'd sit with her earlier this morning." I shrugged nonchalantly. Though my expression quickly changed to confusion when her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. "What?" I asked, slightly worried.

She quickly picked up her jaw and narrowed her eyes. "How did _you_ get an in at the popular table?" she spat cruelly and I recoiled back at the sudden coldness.

"Uh, I bumped into her and we talked and she asked me to sit with them?" It came out more like a question and I mentally slapped myself for my lack of confidence and promised inwardly to work on that later.

Jessica's demeanour never changed other than the grinding noises escaping her mouth. "So you're trying to tell me that after all my years of sucking up, playing nice and quick fucks that you _bumped_ into one of them and suddenly it's all cookie dough and ice cream?" she growled.

I let a light chuckle slip between my lips at exactly how _wrong_ that sentence was and how vicious her expression, only making everything ten times worse.

"What?" she shouted, her eyes narrowed into slits and I was surprised she could even see me at all or hear me through the smoke seeping out of her ears.

"Uh, nothing" I stuttered lamely, slowly backing away from her. "I'm just going to, uh–" I pointed to the table in the far corner "–go." And with that I swiftly turned around and rushed over to the table where Alice and three other people were sitting.

The first person I noticed as I neared the secluded table was Alice; she was waving frantically at me beckoning me over. Next to her was a gorgeous blonde boy I recognized from Bio practically attached to her hip, holding her hand above the table; I figured he must be her boyfriend.

With a small smile I came forward and took a seat on her other side where she was pointing.

Across from Alice and her assumed boyfriend was the most beautiful couple I've ever seen. The girl had long blond hair, fair skin and bright blue eyes. She resembled the boy next to Alice but was much more feminine. She was tucked securely under the guy's arms, though he looked much older than the rest of us. He had dark curly hair and was huge: tall, muscular and pretty much just _huge_.

I turned my attention from the people around me back to Alice when she spoke.

"Bella this is Jasper Hale my boyfriend–" she said as she lifted her and Jasper's intertwined hands and then gestured to the two people in front of us while introducing them. "–and these are Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale, Jasper's twin sister. Guys' this is Bella Swan." She beamed and everyone looked at me expectantly while I gave a little half hearted wave and smile.

Emmett gave a welcoming grin, showing off his pearly white teeth and two precious dimples, Jasper gave a shy smile, and Rosalie sneered a little at me before going back to looking bored.

'_Well_ _I_ _guess we aren't going to be BFFs_,' I thought sarcastically as I turned back to Alice.

"Was that Jessica you were talking to over there?" she asked as she tilted her head in her direction, though from the tone of her voice I could tell they weren't close, if Jessica's statement hadn't already had me guessing.

"Yeah, she was a little, uh, upset that I was sitting here," I mumbled as I grabbed an apple out of my bag.

The four of them snickered.

"Yeah, she's been trying to sit here since junior year," Rosalie laughed, shaking her head and I was surprised to see her flash a friendly smile towards me.

'_Hm, maybe we might just be friends after all._'

"Uh, oh," Alice squeaked – interrupting my thoughts – as her eyes scanned passed Emmett and Rosalie towards the doors of the cafeteria.

My forehead wrinkled in confusion as my eyes followed her gaze and landed right on a pair of emerald green ones. Knowing exactly who they belonged to, I felt my smile slowly fade from my face and tore my eyes from his.

This was gonna be harder than I thought.

**

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Author's Note: **The next two chapters will have Bella and Edward's 'official' meeting and some more insight on Bella Swan, not a lot, but some. That being said, Review :)

- Janicee.


	4. First and Foremost

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 4: First and Foremost **

**Edward Cullen**

As I walked through the aisle towards my table, taking note of the sudden quietness of my group, and took my seat across from the new girl I noticed her eyes never wavered from the half eaten apple in her hands.

Not being able to take the silence, I cleared my throat trying to break the tension in the air. When nothing changed I sighed and dug through my bag for the lunch Esme made me this morning, glad to skip the cafeteria garbage in favor of her skilful cooking. Still silent, I unwrapped the homemade turkey sub and took a bite, ignoring the awkward looks around the table.

A few minutes passed before Bella took a bite of the apple she had been just staring at. Shortly after conversation picked up, but the only voice I wanted to hear was hers. Shaking my head to rid myself of my own embarrassing thoughts, I took a sip from the water bottle in front of me and took a deep breath, berating myself for being such a pussy before jumping into the conversation.

"So Bella is it?" I asked, though I knew that was her name.

Her eyes lifted up to meet mine and I felt a shiver run down my spine as they narrowed ever so slightly while she nodded. Clearing my throat again and doing my best to avoid her beckoning gaze, I focused on the design of her shirt. It was a firm fitting white t-shirt that hung of her right shoulder. The abstract designs that covered it were black and silver and catchy to the eye, though my eyes automatically took up residents to her perfect size C breasts and I automatically swallowed as I felt my mouth water.

I heard a soft feminine cough pull me out of my developing fantasies and my eyes instantly shot up to Bella's, to my great disdain. She had a knowing look on her face, her eyes still narrowed but a sly smirk played across her lips as well. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck about being caught eyeing some girls tits, it's what I do, but somehow this girl seemed different.

'_Or maybe not,' _I thought as I took in her facial expression.

Given the sexy look on her face I was about to endure a lot of shameless flirting and I'd most likely react likewise.

As soon as she moved her God damned truck.

So, smiling back unabashedly, I stuck out my hand and introduced myself, taking full advantage of my newfound ability to finally speak to her. "Edward Cullen," I announced, proud and confident.

She looked from my face to my hand then back to my face with a raised eyebrow before she took my hand in hers, as if only humouring me.

I couldn't help the surprised hiss that escaped my lips as her hand touched mine. The electricity that sparked between us was obvious and I knew she felt it too from the short gasp that came from her own luscious lips, while the rest of the table remained completely oblivious as they discussed pointless topics in their coupled off groups.

"Hi," she replied tentatively, not offering any assistance at all.

_Pft, whatever. _

"So..." I started not really sure if now was the best time to bring up the scrap metal located in my spot, but like they always say, there's no time like the present. "Is that your truck?" I pointed out towards the parking lot, where the red beast sat directly in front of, and corked my eyebrow expectedly.

She didn't even seem fazed by my line of questioning. No, instead, new girl just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I get it; it's in your spot. Get over it." Her tone was clear and confident and I know I wasn't the only slack jawed idiot in the cafeteria because she wasn't exactly whispering and no one, not even the teachers, talked to me like that.

'_Now was definitely not the right time_,' I berated myself.

Snapping my jaw closed, probably louder than necessary, I leaned back against my chair, crossed my arms and stared at the one person with enough balls to actually stand up to me, and she was fucking hot.

After a lot of internal debating, I smirked. If she wanted to play hardball, then I could play hardball.

I leaned back onto the table; my hands folded in front, with my face only a few inches from hers. "I was just going to ask what a pretty little girl like you is doing with _that_." I emphasized the word 'that' to show my distaste, as I tilted my head in the general direction of the parking lot.

She didn't even flinch; her nose did this cute little thing where it scrunched up while her eyes narrowed. I almost laughed at her kitten like fierceness but thought better of it when I saw her open her mouth to speak. "_That_ could probably run over your pretty boy car. And as for calling me 'little girl'? I suggest you don't before you're face meets my _pretty little fist_." Her voice was laced with venom and I actually heard gasps throughout the crowd and a few stifled giggles.

As for me, I sat stock still and slack jawed once again by this Bella Swan without the slightest clue of what to say.

_Strike three, Cullen, you're out._

Luckily for me the bell rang and I flew out of my seat faster than Newton blowing his load in the janitor's closet before his dick was even remotely close to Jessica's mouth, unaware of how much lunch had already passed.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in when I felt the cold march air hit my face and pulled out the other half of my smoke from this morning.

As I inhaled the nicotine goodness the door opened behind me and, low and behold, new girl traipsed on out and leaned against the brick wall, completely oblivious to my being there.

After a few minutes of just watching her, not quite sure what the hell I was thinking, I purposely coughed causing her head snapped up towards me, looking up with those big doe-like eyes that could probably get away with committing murder or some shit. I gulped at just how screwed I was.

As fast as she looked up she was looking back down again, her face covered with that fucking tasty blush.

"Hey," she said meekly and I was almost taking aback by the sudden change of demeanour because fuck, how can you go all lioness to little innocent in less than five minutes and not be considered bi-polar?

"Uh, hi?" was my brilliant response and it came out more like a question, but I didn't give two shits because what the hell else was I supposed to do, act like that shit didn't just happen? Fuck no. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked sarcastically and almost felt bad as I saw her face fall, but fuck, didn't she just tear me a good one like point two seconds ago? So, again, what the hell else did she expect?

Ignoring the sarcasm, she answered. "Nothing, I just needed some air. Sorry about earlier, it's nothing personal, well sort of," she said shyly and I almost, _almost _accepted right then and there if it wasn't for the 'well sort of'.

What in the _fuck_ does that mean?

"Well sort of?" I voiced my thoughts.

"It's just; I know what guys like you are like. New conquests, once you get them you dump them and it hurts, you know? Well, obviously you don't but I'm not putting myself through that again." This time her voice wasn't meek or shy, it was determined but my thoughts were more along the lines of '_again'._ Some bastard out there hurt her and I wanted to kill the asswipe who put the frown on her face. _Wait, what?_ I shook my head a little at my train of thoughts. Not only did I know her like an hour and already I'm willing to kill for her, but wasn't I going to do the exact same thing that he did? Jesus fuck this girl is messing with my head. Both of them.

"I wasn't going to do that," I mumbled lamely like a boy getting caught with the crayon an inch from the wall.

She scoffed and took the smoke right out of my hand and took a good long drag before putting it out against the brick wall behind us.

I crossed my arms and arched my eyebrow because, besides that being hot-as-fuck, I really needed that smoke.

She just giggled, shrugged and walked back into the school, leaving me behind to gape like a moron at her retreating form, but eh? What else is there to do in Forks?

**

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Author's Note: **I know it's kinda short but I wanted to end it there, sorry. The next one will be Bella's point of view!

If any of you can recommend some funny story's I'd love to read them, they always put me in a better mood to write. Just throw them in your review somewhere ;)

- Janicee.


	5. Fire and Aggression

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 5: Fire and Aggression **

**Bella Swan**

I gulped as I heard the chair across from me scrape against the cafeteria floor. _Of all the places you choose to sit, you just had to choose Cullen's table, _I berated myself. I mean, I knew that Emmett was his brother due to their same last name and all. But how was I supposed to know that he sat here? And I had already agreed before I even knew Mr. Promiscuous even had a brother.

I heard him cough – rather obnoxiously – as if to ease the built tension in the air but to no avail.

After the few minutes of small noises and voices around us I figured I might as well finish my lunch; with the first bite of my apple taking as a sign for the rest of them to get to talking.

The conversations were mostly about plans for the weekend and the-who-did-what-and-when gossip that normal seventeen and eighteen year olds talk about during lunch, while Edward and I sat quiet.

"So Bella is it?" he asked, for lack of anything better to say I guessed because by now the whole town knew my name.

Reluctantly I looked him in the eyes, narrowing mine somewhat suspiciously, and nodded.

I saw his adam's apple bob twice as he swallowed before his gaze left my eyes and wondered down my chest. I almost laughed in his face. Was this guy serious?

Trying to keep the humour of this pathetic situation out of my face I coughed purposely, snapping him out of whatever perv-like fantasies were roaming through his perfect god-like head.

'_Snap out of it Bella.'_

Apparently my face really is an open book, but he took my amused look as flirty and smiled with that so-sexy-it-should-be-illegal smile and leaned a little closer, sticking his hand out for me to shake while introducing himself, overconfidently I might add; "Edward Cullen."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, like I didn't already know his name.

His hand was still sticking across the table and I smirked a little, looking from it to him and back again before finally shaking it, much to my disdain and uncomfortable pleasure.

I couldn't hide the gasp the leaked through my mouth from the pure electricity of his touch.

"Hi," was all I could think to say and I mentally added 'work on vocabulary' to my list of things to improve while I was here.

"So..." he started.

_Crickets chirping..._

"Is that your truck?" he pointed out towards big red, and all of a sudden I was pissed that he really was that big of an ass to try and make me move my truck because it was in _his_ 'spot'. He must be rich because he has spoiled written _all_ over him.

I rolled my eyes, already exasperated by his antics. "Yeah, I get it; it's in your spot. Get over it." I sighed.

Obviously that wasn't what he was expecting because Edward sat slack jawed just looking back at me before finally shaking out of whatever trance he was under. Then he leaned forward again with a smirk that made my panties wet and want to slap him all at the same time.

"I was just going to ask what a pretty little girl like you is doing with _that_," he defended innocently as he blew air in my face making me slightly dizzy at the close proximity, but I wasn't going to let people walk all over me _again; _especially not him.

I gritted my teeth together angrily and looked him right in the eye. "_That_ could probably run over your pretty boy car. And as for calling me 'little girl'? I suggest you don't before you're face meets my _pretty little fist_," I stated matter-of-factly, followed by some stifled giggles and gasps because apparently people don't defend themselves up here in nowhere land.

Rich boy just sat there with his mouth hanging open and I fought the urge to reach over there and snap it closed when the bell rang, _finally._

Edward hopped out of his chair so fast it was almost laughable but I was exhausted. I hated all this attention and, truthfully, I wish I could just blend in like I used to before shit hit the fan up in Arizona.

I sighed and walked out the cafeteria and turned to go outside for some fresh, polluted with water, air.

I took a deep calming breath as I walked outside and leaned against the wall beside the doors, letting my eyes slip closed and my guard fall down. I hated how defensive I had become, but with good reason, I just couldn't be hurt again. It was too much the first time. I felt my eyes well up as thoughts from my past attacked me.

_It was the first party I was actually invited to since starting high school two years ago. It was mid-summer and I had grown somewhat into my lanky form, moved up a cup size and re-styled my normal straight-as-a-board hair into big wavy locks. Next year I'd start my junior year at school and I'd be a different person; more confident, friendly and definitely not the shy Bella I had been for far too many years now. This party was my first step into the new me. _

_I walked into the noisy house somewhat nervously; clad in short white shorts and a red tank top fully sporting the 'fourth of July' theme, when I first noticed _him_. _

_He was tall, lean and muscular. He had dirty blond hair wrapped tightly in a low ponytail. He was wearing blue faded jeans, a tight black shirt and a leather jacket that gave him that sexy bad boy look that made you want to drool. He was so far out of my league. _

_As I was checking him out, I hadn't even notice that he had stopped talking to whoever it was he was talking to and had started to make his way over to me. I gulped nervously, having no experience talking to guys apart from my father and my mother's new husband, Phil, and he was defiantly neither. _

"_I see you've brought a snack," he said, his voice dangerously low and husky as his blue eyes took me In, his hand gesturing to the container in my hand full of homemade brownies for the food table. I took a deep breath repeating the mantra I've been saying since this morning over and over in my head. _

_More confident, friendly and definitely not shy. More confident, friendly and definitely not shy. _

_Flashing him, what I can only hope was, a sexy smirk; I opened my mouth and, with more confidence than I actually had, introduced myself. "Yeah, you know Fourth of July and all; it'd be rude to show up empty handed." I shrugged. "I'm Bella, and you are?" I inquired, raising my brow expectantly. _

_He chuckled and stuck his hand out for me to shake. _

"_James, nice to meet you."_

Someone clearing their throat pulled me out of my memories and my eyes immediately snapped up to the culprit, I groaned inwardly and dropped my eyes from his not being able to stop the blush from creeping its way up my face.

"Hey," I said less-than-confidently, mentally kicking myself for allowing him to see me with my walls down.

"Uh, hi?" Edward mumbled unsurely, scratching the back of his head. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked sarcastically and I felt my walls slowly start to rebuild themselves.

I hadn't even noticed him out here when I came out, and to be honest I didn't even know how long it was I was standing here, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't bothering him.

Trying to brush off the rudeness of his sarcasm, I took his question for what it was instead and answered it truthfully, "Nothing, I just needed some air. Sorry about earlier, it's nothing personal, well sort of." I didn't actually mean to apologize, but it couldn't hurt. I was rude and it wasn't right even if it was justified.

"Well sort of?" he asked as he quirked his left eyebrow up curiously.

I sighed; would it have been so hard for him to just accept the apology and move on? No, Mr. Observant here had to go and dissect it.

"It's just; I know what guys like you are like. New conquests, once you get them you dump them and it hurts, you know? Well, obviously you don't but I'm not putting myself through that again," I rambled as I felt some of my old anger building up and my determination increased tenfold.

I chanced a glance to him and was taken aback at what I saw. His teeth were clenched and his knuckles where white from the tight fists he made with his hands. After a few seconds of me just watching him, his face softened and he looked to the ground.

"I wasn't going to do that," he mumbled lamely and I fought the urge to roll my eyes and instead opted to taking the cigarette out of his hands and finishing it off. I giggled at the bewildered expression on his face as I put it out against the wall and flicked the bud on the ground before skipping back into the school.

"Hey, Bella!" I groaned as I saw Mike zigzagging through the crowds of people towards me and teased the thought of going back outside with Edward but quickly decided against it. We weren't exactly friends.

"Hi, Mike," I responded less than enthusiastically but he didn't seem to notice.

"That was sweet how you told off Cullen in there!" he nearly shouted and I cringed a bit, knowing I've clearly caused even more attention by that little act of independence. "Did you see his face?"

"Yeah, um... I was kinda right there Mike." I looked behind him, searching for someone to save me from this torture.

He stopped laughing at that, but that goofy smile that seemed way too peppy was still plastered onto his face. "What class do you have next?" he asked happily.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and dug into my bag.

"Uh –" I looked down to the printed paper that was my schedule and looked back up to him. "– I have English with Mr. Mason." I shrugged nonchalantly and watched as Mike's face fell. Apparently he didn't have English with Mr. Mason.

_Aw, shucks!_

"Aw, that sucks. Maybe we'll have last period together?" he wondered.

I shrugged and said goodbye rather than checking. We only had a few more minutes to get to class and I didn't want to be late because even if my plan to get to each class early was apparently boycott, I could at least get there on time.

He nodded and waved as we parted and I made my way down the hall towards English.

English, normally being my favorite class, was rather uneventful. I didn't recognize anyone in my class and didn't feel the need to make anymore new friends since Jessica and Mike turned out to be _fantastic_. I figured Alice and her friends would suffice in my desire to not eat in the girls bathroom at lunch, besides I actually liked them, minus one Cullen.

The teacher handed us each a worksheet to complete for homework right before the bell rang and the class hurried out to last period.

Last period: gym. I groaned at the inevitable. I knew I'd have to participate in gym but that didn't mean I was looking forward to it. To sum me up quickly: Athlete I was not. I was pretty much the clumsiest person probably anywhere, so anything with bats, rackets, balls, and hoops were a no-go for Bella Swan.

Sighing, I slowly made my way to the school's gymnasium, lacking any enthusiasm what-so-ever. It was just a matter of time before I made a fool of myself in front of thirty some other students, something I was definitely not thrilled about. There should be a note excusing 'people with zero equilibrium' from having to participate in potential deathly activities, but I'm just saying.

I opened the heavy doors and sullenly walked through, as if marching to the stake and getting ready to be nailed up and burned to death like the holy son of God himself, and crept my way into the changing rooms, ignoring the looks and whispers from the other girls, and preparing myself for the torturous experience I was dreading more than when _Friends_ was coming to an end, because let's be honest; a world without Joey just isn't the same.

With a dreaded sigh, I walked back out into the gymnasium; ready to meet my maker.

"_Umph!" _a muffled voice cried.

'_So it begins,'_ I thought bitterly.

I took a deep breath as I briefly contemplated just making a beeline out of here to save myself from the utter humiliation but I knew, just knew, that I needed gym to graduate. So, I sucked it up and walked out from behind the door I had just used as a weapon and started rambling out apologies left, right and center.

"Don't worry ab– ... Bella?" A crooked smirk played across his lips as he helped himself off the floor.

_Great._

**

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Author's Note: **I just want to say now, there will be _no_ rape. Keep in mind that there is a lot of foreshadowing in this story, I'm giving hints for the obvious but it is by far not the whole thing. Some stuff did happen to Bella and it'll be awhile until her story is disclosed. As for right now, there will just be flashbacks and little bits and pieces here and there.

Reviews are much appreciated :)

-Janicee.


	6. Turn Me Around

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Turn Me Around **

**Edward Cullen**

The final bell rang and I realized I had been just chillen there since new girl walked away and figured it was about time I stopped acting like a pansy and went to class. So, in a daze, I walked back into the school and through the doors and down the hall until I came to my Spanish class and walked on in.

I winked and smiled at Mrs. Rodriguez because I knew that shit would get me out of trouble for being late and made my way to my desk next to Emmett.

Emmett had failed Spanish last year and had to repeat it, much to his dismay.

"Hey, man. Where were you?" Emmett boomed, causing half the class to turn our way.

I sighed on instinct and ran a hand through my hair. "I'd tell you to keep it down, but you're incapable of that, so just shut up," I mumbled because I did _not _want the rest of the school to know that I was left stunned by the new girl _again, _and I hadn't come up with a legitimate excuse yet.

He kind of glared a little, then took in the look on my face that probably read 'some chick just blew me off and not the good kind' and, bless his heart, let it go. I didn't expect that same favor later on the way home though, but at least now I had some preparation time.

The rest of Spanish was boring, as per usual, but I was pretty stoked about gym today because I heard we were playing basketball and that's a hell of a lot better than _badminton,_ which we were playing before.

When the bell finally rang I quickly gathered my binder and walked out to my locker, ignoring the winks and giggles along the way because I was just not in the mood after what new girl had said, and suddenly they didn't seem as hot as they used to and just pathetic for even wanting to be with someone like me, knowing full well they were just used to get me off. I'm a douche, I admit it. But if you know someone's a douche and you offer yourself up on a platter to them, then you're just plain stupid and therefore the douche in mention is not to blame.

With a huff, I shoved my binder into my locker, pulling out my bag with shorts and an extra shirt and walked out to the gymnasium feeling some-what proud of myself for coming up with that conclusion because, of course, I now have justification to my actions.

After changing into my gym wear, I settled myself near the girls changing room and watched as the ladies appeared, clad in barely there clothing.

Just because I'm not in the mood to be thrown at doesn't necessarily mean I can't appreciate a nice piece of eye candy. And besides, gym class was really the only time you got to see girls in those tight shirts and short shorts in Forks, not to mention the cold weather practically prohibited wearing less than a parka.

As I was admiring a few of the girls' _assets, _I felt something hard contact with my back and fell to the floor in shock. I hadn't even realized I had backed up closer towards the girls changing room as I was enjoying the precious view before me, and was only now aware of the girl behind the door mumbling apologies.

I started to reassure her that I was okay as I picked myself up off the ground, when I looked up and into those big brown eyes and couldn't stop the smirk that played across my lips.

"Bella?" I asked, but it was more of a statement than a real question.

Should have known it'd be her.

She bit her lip nervously and my eyes immediately darted down against my will. She was so damn sexy, but differently then I was used to. It wasn't an intentional thing, it just _was_. She seemed so innocent and pure and rare and as much as I hated to admit it, she held some kind of power over me.

She put me in my place, called me out and knocked me to the ground and I still wanted her. It was scary because I never wanted a girl as much as I wanted her, probably because I never had to work to get one before, and something told me she wouldn't be easy.

And that something was her.

She practically told me already that she wanted nothing to do with me and I really couldn't blame her. I mean, I knew what I was like. I was a prick; it was a well known fact in Forks. I had never had a problem with it before. But suddenly I felt guilty. Looking into her doe-like eyes, knowing she knew what I was like and wouldn't put up with it, was something I had never had to deal with before. I suddenly felt bad for eye fucking those girls just a few minutes ago, I felt dirty and wrong and that scared the ever living shit out of me because that's what I _do_, it's who I _am_, it's the only thing I know.

As Bella continued to apologize I was all too aware that I had just known this girl _one day_, not even, and with a few simple words and those captivating eyes she had unknowingly thrown my world into a spiral and I had absolutely no idea how to straighten it out.

All I knew is I wanted her and, even worse, wanted to get to _know _her.

I wanted to see how she could be so feisty one minute, down to earth the next, shy and then apologetic. I wanted to know how she deemed someone like me even worthy of those words escaping her lips.

Frig, how is it that one minute I have no shame, that I'm justifying my actions by calling other people _stupid_, and the next I'm wallowing in guilt right in front of this amazing girl who I didn't even know while she's apologizing to _me_?

And then it occurred to me that this isn't the first time she's apologized. She tried to apologize earlier for simply speaking the truth, defending herself, calling me out on my shit and I didn't even accept it. No, like the selfish bastard I was, I just wanted more. And then she called me out on my shit _again_, and I was insulted, I didn't actually let the words sink in, instead hearing what I wanted to hear. Sure, I obviously cared when she mentioned getting hurt, I felt that strange pull to protect her but never did I once actually blame myself, take responsibility. I could admit to myself my intentions but I still tried to justify them, when there was no room for justification. She shouldn't have to apologize for what was true; _I_ should be the one to apologize. . .

Well, _shit_.

"Edward?" she asked after an immeasurable amount of time passed us by.

Apparently she had stopped apologizing and started staring at me as If I was crazy, and maybe I am. She was looking back at me with a questioning look, probably thinking she knocked the sense right out of me when, if fact, it was the opposite.

"Yeah?" I shook my head a little; only now aware of the ringing in my ears as the cloudiness in my hearing faded away.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry, it was an accident, I just opened the door a little too hard an–"

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I cut her off. She stopped and looked at me expectantly. "Don't apologize," I stated simply.

"But–" she began but, again, I cut her off.

"No, don't. I know it was an accident, I mean; you don't have any superpowers do you? X-ray vision?" I joked.

She didn't say anything but I noticed her mouth twitch up a little.

_So. Fucking. Beautiful. _

I cleared my throat a little bit, about to do something I hadn't done in a very, very long time. "Look, I'm the one who owes you an apology. It was childish for me to try and confront you about my parking spot, and I deserved everything you said to me today. _Except_ the apologies," I added as an afterthought.

She gave me a curious look, probably trying to see where my angle was. But I honestly didn't have one. I just wanted to do something right for once in my life.

"Okay?" she said after staring at me for a little bit, it came out as a question but I didn't blame her.

She only knew me a day as well, but I'm pretty sure her first impression of me wasn't the type to admit when he was wrong. I _wasn't_ the type of person to admit when I was wrong. But for some strange, unknown reason, I couldn't be the same obnoxious prick I was around this girl I barely knew, I _had_ to be better.

I smiled reassuringly to her to show I was being sincere. She gave me an appreciative smile and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Coach's whistle.

I barely hid my disappointment as we both made our way towards the center of the gymnasium, I wanted to talk to her some more. But at least we had one un-judged conversation; even if it was as simple as saying 'sorry'.

"Okay class," coach Clapp started. "Today we will be starting our basketball unit –" some cheering and groans from around the room. "I know, I know," he said, putting his hands up in a defensive manner. "I'm going to miss badminton too but you will all have to learn to enjoy a variety in sports." A few eye rolls and more collective groans. "Now, seeing as you are all seniors I'm fairly positive you all know how to play basketball, no?" he asked, more so a rhetorical question. "Good. The balls are in the grate by the entrance. Pick a partner and go over basic dribbling. Later we'll move on to passing and taking shots. The last half an hour of class will be used for free time and I'll organize a scrimmage game for anyone who's interested. Any questions?" he asked. When no one answered or raised their hands he continued on. "Alright, go," and with that he blew his whistle and walked into his office.

We were all pretty much used to Coach's antics; he told us what to do, and then he'd go into his office and watch the mini TV he stored in there while we all did whatever. Occasionally he would look out through the glass window and if there were any students not doing as told he would make them do laps, a lot of laps, so no one really had a problem with his instructions.

As people coupled off, I noticed Bella standing awkwardly with her hands intertwined behind her back, just staring around the room. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Newton making his way over. Without even thinking I walked right by him, cutting him off, and stood directly in front of Bella.

"Um, hi?" she said awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes and tilted my head towards the basket of balls.

"Partner?" I asked, trying to hide my eagerness.

She smiled a little and I watched in awe as she blushed and nodded. I beamed at her and walked over to grab a ball.

"Here." I one hopped the ball over to her and chuckled a little when her eyes widened and she moved out of the way, letting the ball bounce by.

I shook my head and smiled before grabbing another. "See the trick is to catch the ball, not let it go by." I flashed her my infamous crooked grin to let her know I wasn't trying to be a dick. She smiled a little and took her bottom lip in between her teeth. All my thoughts went directly down the gutter from there and I had to think of the time I accidently walked in on my grandma getting out of the tub when I was six to control the beast below.

With a quick shudder I held up the ball. "Ready?" I asked, to which she nodded. "Okay, here." I one hopped the ball towards her again. It wasn't a hard bounce but I couldn't help but smile at the amazement that dawned on her face as she caught the ball in between her hands. "Perfect," I declared proudly.

The rest of gym class consisted of me helping Bella play basketball and if I learned anything at all in this experience, it would be that Bella _could not _play basketball.

She was the only one I knew who could trip on scuff marks on a flat surface ground, and I don't even want to get into how many times she missed the net and hit someone with the ball; mainly me. But even with the bruises, it was probably the most fun I had ever had in gym before; all because of her. I didn't even care if that made me look like a bitch.

This girl was actually fascinating and that shocked the hell out of me because I had never taken the time to get to know any of the other girls here. She'd speak the truth rather than say things that she thought I'd like. In the hour we were talking, I got to know her favorite color, flower, food and other really lame stuff I wouldn't ever want to know about anyone else, but I wanted to know everything about her so I kept asking.

"Favorite song?" I asked as I dribbled the ball a bit before taking a shot. It made a swishing noise as it went through the hoop.

She thought about it as she relayed the ball back to me. We had come to a united decision that I would take the shots and she would pass me the ball.

"Um, I'm really not all that picky. I like Muse and Linkin Park." She stood there dribbling the ball I had just thrown as she thought. "I don't really like country, Charlie listens to it all the time but I can't sta–"

"Charlie?" I cut her off.

"Yeah, he's my dad. Chief Swan," she informed me nonchalantly before continuing. "Anyways, no country and I can't stand loud screaming in my ears, so none of that. You?" She asked sweetly, tossing me the ball.

I shrugged. "I like a bit of everything too. Rock, alternative, definitely not country, classical –" She gave me a sceptical look.

"Classical?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes, classical." I rolled my eyes.

"You?" She looked doubtful.

"Don't judge me." I said jokingly, though she had every right. She closed her mouth and rolled her eyes, but I caught the pink that crept up her cheeks. "Anyways, classical music is the shit. It always puts me in a chill mood," I explained.

"What's your favorite?"

That question surprised me; most people laughed when they thought of me listening to classical music, no one really took the time to ask me about it.

"Clair de Lune by –"

"Debussy." She nodded in understanding.

"You know Debussy?" I asked, completely shocked.

She smirked, grabbed the ball from me and chucked it through the net with a rewarding _swish_. "Don't judge me," she mocked.

I laughed, shaking my head.

There was no way I'd ever figure this girl out.

But fuck me if I wasn't going to try.

**

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Author's Note: **Before I'm yelled at and told 'this is going way too fast'... this epiphany isn't that he's in love with Bella. He just let himself actually hear what Bella tried to say outside before he walked back into the school and started flirting with the teacher and eye-fucking the rest of the female population of Forks. If I didn't make this clear in the chapter, Bella being kind to him and apologizing despite knowing he's a douche kind of threw him off. So, he sifted through his shit and realized some stuff.

As of right now, he's simply interested in Bella; wants to get to know her and all that. No love, yet. I mean, it's only been one day...

That being said, Review :)

- Janicee.


	7. Step by Step

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 7: Step by Step**

**Bella Swan**

Just my luck I'd have Rich Boy in my gym class, as if I don't embarrass myself enough without the added influence of equipment. I'm practically handing the boy his ammo to get me back for standing up to him in front of everyone.

Rich Boy started to groan after he successfully picked himself up off the grungy floor of the gym and looked me in the eye. I stopped apologizing after I came to the conclusion he wasn't listening and just staring at me with his mouth agape like he was in shock or something.

After about three minutes of this, a smile started to tug at his lips and I was honestly debating whether I should take him to the nurse because I must have knocked him to the ground harder than I originally thought, and I was starting to question his sanity.

"Edward?" I asked nervously, hoping he didn't have any serious injuries.

He stared at me blankly, shook his head a little and gulped a few times before he answered with a, "Yeah?"

I sighed in more relief that I thought I would at the sound of his voice and jumped right back into apology mode. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, it was an accident, I just opened the door a little too hard an–" Before I could finish my little rant, Rich Boy interrupted.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." He held his hands in the air as a signal for me to stop. "Don't apologize," he said simply.

My eyes squinted in confusion. "But –"

"No, don't," he cut me off _again_, but before I could even open my mouth and utter the words 'What. The. Fuck.' he continued on. "I know it was an accident, I mean; you don't have any superpowers do you? X-ray vision?" he joked.

I smiled a little because it _was_ really cute that he was trying to make me feel better as opposed to bitching for getting his clothes dirty like I was anticipating.

He cleared his throat and looked at me, pointing his finger in the air lazily and thinking really hard. "Look, I'm the one who owes you an apology. It was childish for me to try and confront you about my parking spot, and I deserved everything you said to me today. _Except_ the apologies," he said, nodding a little, probably going over some mental checklist in his head before approving of it.

I just stared at him like a jackass because if I was expecting anything from him, an apology would be at the very bottom of that list, if it even _made_ the list.

After not saying anything for much longer than any mentally stable person should, I said the first thing that came to mind, "Okay?"

'_I really need to work on my vocabulary_,' I thought as I restrained myself from slapping my palm on my forehead.

He smiled at me, an-honest-to-God-nothing-up-my-sleeves-smile, just as the whistle was blown.

We both separated, making our way to center gym. I sighed, and took a look around to see if I recognized any of the other students. When I came across a blonde head of hair attached to my second least favorite person in Forks High I couldn't contain my groan.

Looking from Mike to Edward, though, I had to laugh at similarities obviously due to Mike's attempts to copy Edward's hair and clothes, which just made him _that_ much more pathetic.

The blow of a whistle pulled me out of my thoughts and I realized we had been dismissed to follow Coach Clapp's instructions and I had absolutely no idea as to what they were.

I stood still as people began to move, holding my hands behind my back in attempt to protect those around me from the hazards they may cause, and glanced around the room nervously.

I gulped as I realized Mike slowly approaching me and groaned as I saw that everyone was coupled off, only aiding my fear of him wanting to be my partner.

I could have sighed in relief when I saw someone cut him off, could have, if it wasn't the only other person in the school I would have wanted to be my partner less than Mike, and thought that feeling was mutual.

So imagine my surprise when Rich Boy trots passed Mike, ignoring the daggers being thrown from him, and abruptly stops in front of me.

"Um, hi?" I really, _really_ need to work on my vocabulary.

Edward rolled his eyes and gestured to the gym equipment. I gulped. "Partner?" he asked.

I gulped again, but noticed the hopeful glint in his eyes and smiled a little, offering a small nod.

He beamed and moved towards the basketballs.

"Here," he said before throwing one at me.

I nervously ducked away from the ball, eyes wide and fearful. Was this boy trying to kill me, or better yet, get himself killed?

He chuckled at my defiance and went to grab another ball, not even bothering to pick up the other one rolling around the floor somewhere.

"See the trick is to catch the ball, not let it go by," he said playfully. I smiled nervously and bit my lip as he held up another ball. "Ready?" he asked, his voice faltering just a tad.

I gulped and nodded.

"Okay, here," with that, he tossed me the ball again.

I held up my hands just in time to stop the ball from making contact with my face and beamed up at him.

"Perfect," he said with a smile.

Throughout the rest of class all I could think of was '_when's doucheward going to make his appearance?_' and was pleasantly surprised when he never did.

As I walked into the dressing room after class I went over everything in my head.

He spoke sincerely, actually seemed interested when I talked about insignificant things and liked _classical_ music. I mean, _come on_.

But by the way he talked to me I couldn't help but see the truth shine through. He wasn't making stuff up to 'get with me' or asking questions to store away for further reference. He genuinely wanted to know.

And that made me want to kick myself.

I should have known everything about James was fake. I was so blinded by this gorgeous guy who noticed me, that I didn't notice _him_. I saw the mask, everything deceiving, but failed to see the person beneath it.

He seemed nice, he acted like he cared, and he told me he loved me. But as simple as he said it, he lied. It meant nothing, I meant nothing.

I was a conquest.

I felt a sudden pang of sadness creep through me by the thought, and suddenly my wall made itself known.

I couldn't be hurt like that again; I had to be sure before I put myself out there. If Edward was actually interested in me, he had to prove it.

I had been through so much and lost _everything_, I couldn't do it again.

With that, I let myself fall back into my own thoughts and feelings.

Am I interested in _him_?

Yeah, I am.

But why?

I couldn't find an answer.

There wasn't just _one_.

All I knew was that I felt something for him that runs deeper than the body, the hair, the smile, or the eyes.

I see beneath _his_ mask.

No matter how firmly he tries to hold it in place, it's seeping off.

I liked the person I got to know in gym class, when he let himself just... _be_.

But if I ever wanted to peruse him, he couldn't hide behind a fading mask; he had to let it go.

And I _had_ to be sure.

"Bella?" a soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head a little as my mind settled on the present.

"Oh, hi..." I trailed off awkwardly, embarrassed for not knowing who she was.

She smiled sweetly and stuck out a hand.

"Angela," she finished politely.

I smiled back and shook her hand.

"I wanted to introduce myself in English, since we have that class together too, but Mr. Mason hates when people talk in his class," she said sadly.

I smiled at her. She was sweet.

"That's fine; I had a lot on my mind anyway. But it was nice to meet you," I said reassuringly.

She nodded. "Yeah, you seemed to have a lot on your mind just a second ago too. Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently, not pushing for details but genuinely wanting to know if she could help.

I simply shook my head. "It doesn't matter now, but thank you."

"You sure?" she asked to which I nodded. "Okay, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always come to me. I may not be the most talkative person out there, but I can listen." She offered a small smile.

To both hers and my own surprise, I hugged her. "Thanks, Angela."

When I finished changing and gathered up my stuff I was shocked at how much time had passed by. It was already four o'clock, a half an hour after class had ended.

I walked out of the changing room, waving goodbye to Angela, and through the outside doors towards my truck.

There were only a few other cars in the parking lot and the school was nearly deserted as I pulled out and drove towards the grocery store.

I had taken the money out of the food jar this morning so that I could pick up something other than frozen dinners and chips.

I didn't mind cooking; actually I'd rather cook than eat _frozen dinners_.

How Charlie survived without me all these years, only God knows.

When I reached the store, I parked the truck in the parking lot and climbed out of the cab. I slammed the door closed and walked towards the small building.

The bell above the door rang when I walked in and the three people in the store turned to look at me. I blushed and looked down, grabbing one of the big red baskets by the door and hung it on my arm.

Sighing, I wandered around the store; throwing random foods in the basket when they caught my eyes. I got a mixture of vegetables and fruits, cereal, meats and dairy products, also throwing a couple bags of chips in to appease Charlie.

After going over everything in the basket, and adding up the prices in my head to make sure I had enough, I walked over to the check out to ring in my food.

"You must be Isabella," the clerk, an older lady with short grey hair and glasses, stated as she bagged the food.

I smiled shyly at her, ducking my head down to hide the blush that was, no doubt, painting my face from the attention.

"Bella," I corrected gently, trying to leave the unease out of my voice.

She smiled back and gave a small nod.

"Lovely name." She sighed. "How is your father? The last time I saw him he was telling me about your arrival a few days ago. Said he just found out and you'd be here rather quickly. He had this sparkle in his eyes, the one that's been missing ever since ..."s trailed off looking sheepishly. I knew what she was going to say '_...ever since you're no good mother ran off on him all those years ago' _I've heard it before on my past visits here in the summers, but it still got old. And it still hurt.

People brake up.

It happens.

I sighed; there was nothing that was every going to change.

Small towns talk.

A lot.

That's just how things were.

I smiled back at her; she hadn't meant to pester me. I could tell she was a good friend to Charlie and that she honestly cared and felt bad for him. She had no intentions of harbouring in the past, like brake ups and small town gossip, it happens.

She nodded back an apology as I handed her the money to pay for the food, telling her to keep whatever change was left, and took the bags in my hands, carrying them out to the truck.

The breeze in the air was chilly and I snuggled a little in my jacket, pulling the open ends tight as I threw my purchases in the cab and hopped in.

It took me three tries to start up the engine. I didn't even bother turning on the heat because the drive wasn't long enough to warm it up anyways.

I checked the time on the dashboard that read '_4:23 pm' _and silently cursed myself for taking so long changing and talking after gym. Charlie was due home at five and I barely had enough time to make dinner.

I thought over everything I had bought, going over what would be the best and quickest meal for today, and settled on shake and bake chicken, mashed potatoes and boiled veggies. It would take up all the time I had and maybe a little more, but I wanted my first home-cooked meal for Charlie to be a good one.

I pulled into the front of the house, reaching over to grab the bags and hopped out of the truck.

I juggled my keys in one hand, had the groceries in the other and my school bag was slung over my shoulder.

I took careful steps into the house as to not fall and drop anything, the last thing I needed was a carton of smashed eggs in the driveway.

When I got into the house, I sat everything down and went to work on cooking and putting things away, muttering to myself every once and awhile when something out of place caught my eye and went to move it.

A little after five, dinner was mostly ready, the table was set and the door creaked open alerting me of my father's arrival.

"Bells?" he called from the foyer.

I stuck my head out from the kitchen and greeted him with a smile as he hung up his gun.

"Hey, Dad; dinner's almost ready if you want to turn on the game or something, I'll call you in here in about fifteen minutes," I told him.

He smiled and nodded before making his way into the living room and flicking on ESPN.

True to my word, we were both seated with our dinners in front of us after fifteen minutes, both eating quietly.

Charlie wasn't the most affectionate or talkative person around. He didn't hover or set any strict rules but I could tell he cared. The clerk lady was right; he did have this sparkle in his eye.

If there was one thing I was glad about having to leave Phoenix; it was that I got to be Charlie's daughter again. I didn't know how much I missed him until I had him back.

"Well thanks for dinner Bells, it was delicious," Charlie said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin, stood up and kissed me on the head before going back to the living room.

I nodded and offered a small smile as I cleared the table and went to do the dishes.

With a tired yawn I walked up to my room, changed into my sweats and finished my homework. After all my work was complete, I got out a book and read until sleep took me over where, as much as I hated to admit it, a certain bronze haired boy filled my dreams.

**

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Author's Note:** Clearly this is a transition chapter, a 'get to know the characters' and all that. I'm sorry if it wasn't the most fascinating thing but I do have a few things up my sleeves, so to speak, so stay with me. This is only the beginning.

If you have any questions, let me know and I'll do my best to answer while not giving anything away.

- Janicee.


	8. Confusion

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

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**Chapter 8: Confusion**

**Edward Cullen**

When I got home after school I was exhausted from all the drama. I took off my shoes and coat and walked into the kitchen.

Everything had me so wound up. I seriously needed to relax but, today was going to be the first day I didn't fuck around. If I wanted Bella Swan, I had to get my shit together because she wasn't going to tolerate it. So, rather than call up some girl to get the job done, I pulled it old school and got out a glass from the cupboard, filling me up some Jack Daniels on the rocks.

Esme and Carlisle were both at work and Emmett was out with Rosalie, so the house was completely empty.

It kind of irked me.

Though I was pleased that I didn't have to deal with Emmett questioning me about the new girl, I didn't like the quiet. So, I walked up to my room and went through my CDs until I found something I liked to fill the silence and put it on. I then grabbed my laptop and walked over to the bed, set my drink on the night table and reached down to retrieve my discarded alarm clock from this morning, putting it back in place.

I climbed onto my bed and flipped on the computer, lightly dragging my fingers around the keys as I thought of what to do.

I clicked the internet browser, typed in the link and played _helicopter._

It was mildly entertaining.

Then I crashed.

And crashed again.

And again.

And again.

No more of that.

I sighed and exited out, turned off the computer and closed the screen.

I was so fucking bored.

I thought about watching TV, but there was never really anything on around this time.

It was too early to sleep and I wasn't hungry.

_Think, Edward._

And I did.

I thought of a girl with long brown hair cascading down her body, with soulful chocolate coloured eyes that saw through everything. I saw the sadness that showed through and thought about the drawing that she had made in bio and what it could mean. I thought of the anger she had towards me and the passion she had when she talked about her family and the things that she loved. I thought of her innocence and her aggression, her clumsiness and her smile. I saw the way she seemed to glow when she laughed.

And then I thought about how absolutely _fucked_ I was.

So I distracted myself.

I turned off the music and walked downstairs to my baby grand.

I sat down on the glossy bench and raised the fallboard.

And then I played.

I let out all my confusion and anger and desperation.

I let it all out.

I played for hours, not hearing when the door opened, or when my mother came in.

I just kept playing.

And when I was done, I exhaled, letting out the breath that I was nearly choking on.

And I reflected on what I had just written.

And then I groaned.

Because I had wrote about _Bella_.

She consumed me, even when I wasn't consciously aware of it; she was in my head.

"That was beautiful, honey," Esme said, pulling me out of my thoughts, as she came over, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I flinched a little, unaware I had an audience.

"Thanks," I mumbled lamely.

She sat down on the bench next to me, placing her fingers on the keys and gently played an old, familiar song she had played for me when I was little. "You know, I wrote this for your father," she informed me.

I gaped, because I hadn't known that. "You never told me."

She smiled gently at me. "It was before we were together," she continued playing as she looked ahead but wasn't actually _seeing_ anything. "You know how we met right?" she asked, suddenly turning to face me.

I nodded.

She had met Carlisle while he was beginning his residency. She and her boyfriend at the time got into a huge fight and he broke her arm. When Carlisle confronted her about the awkward angel of the brake, she confessed that he had been beating her. Carlisle, like any good doctor should, called the police and the man was arrested. Somewhere throughout the six weeks Carlisle treated her, sparks flew. And even though it was against policy, Carlisle took a chance and asked her out. The rest was history.

Esme sighed beside me. "Well, after that first meeting. I couldn't get this man out of my head. I barely knew him, but there was something there, I couldn't explain it, but I could feel it. I found myself, like you, taking it out on the piano and the song wrote itself." She stopped playing and turned to me. "Sometimes it's not about what you can explain, but what you feel." Her eyes latched onto mine as she took my hand in hers. "Love is an interesting thing, when someone catches your eye, that one person whose soul is yours in the same, hold onto her because whether you love her right then or not, love grows, and that spark you feel, that little thing that only happens around that one special person? That's the seed," she told me as she stood up from the bench, kissed my head and walked out towards the door.

"Mom!" I called after her.

She stopped in the doorway and smiled at me.

"Yes?" she inquired.

"How did you know what I was playing? That it was the same thing?" I asked.

She gave me a knowing look.

"Honey, you may think you're good at hiding the way you feel. But you've never fooled me. You have that same look in your eyes as I did all those years ago. Don't screw it up," and with that she left.

All I could think about was how fast everything was changing.

I knew I didn't – couldn't – love Bella yet.

But if I made sense of what Esme had said, could I someday?

Esme and Carlisle seem to be doing okay...

I groaned; everything was so fresh and confusing.

I had to get to know her and let her get to know me before any of the other nonsense was brought into the picture.

And _actually_ let her get to know me.

Not the promiscuous, tough acting 'player of Forks' but the real me.

And that means telling her about my past.

But that could wait.

I nodded to myself, pleased with my decision and walked back up to my bedroom. I noticed the glass still on my night table from earlier and picked it up, swiftly chugged the remains and relished in the smooth burning sensation down my throat.

After a few minutes of peace, Esme called everyone down for dinner. We all talked casually, the discussion about my curfew from this morning forgotten.

After we all finished eating, Emmett and I cleared the table and walked back upstairs.

"Spill," he demanded as we both walked into the game room.

I inwardly groaned. "About what?" I asked innocently.

He picked up a controller and passed it to me, the look on his face so obviously telling me to get over that shit and get to talking.

I sighed. "Fine, when I went outside at lunch after, you know..." I trailed off.

"...B-Swan punked you in front of everyone," he added in for lack of better words. I looked at him seriously.

"First of all Emmett, 'B-Swan'?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

He snickered causing me to roll my eyes.

"And I didn't get 'punked' she merely told me not to do something."

This did not fool him.

"Yeah not to, and I quote, 'call her little girl' or else your face would meet her 'pretty little fist'," he repeated in his best 'Bella voice', which sucked by the way, using air quotes. "You were punked."

I sighed. "Fine I was punked, whatever, back to the point... When I left, she walked out too. I don't think she saw me, though, until I cleared my throat. Well, leaving out all the details she pretty much told me to get the fuck over myself and have some respect.," I said, to which he laughed. I sighed, shaking my head and continued on with my little story. "So after that I was kind of insulted, naturally, I didn't think it was my fault and came to the conclusion that if everyone knows I'm a douche then it's on them if they get hurt." Emmett was nodding his head along like a fucking bobble head as I retold the day's events. I sighed. "But then in gym class I had an epiphany, so to speak, and actually let myself listen to what she was saying, and I understand. Well anyways, long story short, all that last period we ended up talking and getting to know each other and I-maybe-sort-of-actually-like-her," I added quickly at the end.

Emmett stopped laughing.

"What was that at the end, oh master of all that is poon?" Emmett teased.

I groaned. "I maybe, sort of, actually like her," I mumbled quietly.

It was then I realized that admitting it to myself was a whole lot easier now, having to admit it to Emmett.

"Repeat please," he asked, cupping his ear with his hand. "I didn't quite catch the end."

I gritted my teeth together. "I actually fucking like her," I spat out.

And then he started laughing.

Hard.

I rolled my eyes.

Five minutes passed.

"Are you done?" I asked impatiently. By this point our game had been forgotten and Emmett was laying on his back laughing. At me. He held up one finger and took a few deep breaths before nodding. "Thank you." I sighed. "So...?" I prodded, gesturing with my hands to pick up where I left off.

He tilted his head to the side. "So what?"

I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time today. "So, how do I approach her... I mean, we got along in gym and everything but how do I prove that I'm serious and not just out to conquer her?"

He rubbed his chin as he thought. "Do you know what you want to say to her?" he asked.

"No fucking clue. I want her to trust me though, so she has to see that I've changed," I thought out loud.

He nodded. "It shouldn't be too hard because she didn't see much of how you were to begin with, just heard stories. She just needs to hang out and get to know you herself, which shouldn't be a problem seeing how she now officially sits with us. My only advice would be; go easy on her, no love at first sight bullshit... you'll scare her," he told me.

"I don't love her," I defended. "I just really _like_ her," I emphasized 'like'. "I don't want her for her body, I want her for _her_," I explained, to which he nodded. "It's weird, this is the first time I've ever wanted to get to know someone, I just don't want to fuck it up." I sighed.

"That was like me with Rosie; it was her body that drew me to her but her mind that made me stay," he told me.

My jaw dropped. I think this was the furthest in a serious conversation we've ever been, and then I thought about what it was we were talking about.

And then I swallowed, picked up my controller and tossed Emmett his.

He knew why.

We needed violence to rid ourselves of the talk we just had.

So we played XBOX for awhile until it was one in the morning and both decided it was time to sleep.

I changed, brushed my teeth and jumped into bed, letting the vision of Bella lure me to my dreams.

--

I was surprised when it wasn't Emmett pounding at my door way too fucking early in the morning that woke me up but, instead, the sun shining through my bedroom window. I sighed happily, getting up to relieve myself.

Today was Friday.

Friday meant parties, getting laid and doing drugs.

For me it meant talking to Bella, sorting things out, and starting on my poon strike.

I'd just have to wait.

I could wait...

Until thoughts of Bella came into my head and my imagination flew with it.

I groaned; this morning's shower was going to be very, very cold.

And lonely.

I sighed.

After I was showered, dressed and ready, I walked downstairs, kissed Esme on the cheek and got my food.

When I was done eating I grabbed my keys, jacket and bag and walked out to my car, Emmett trailing behind me.

This was our routine.

As soon as we were both situated in the Volvo, Emmett turned to me.

"So what's the plan?" he asked.

I had thought about it all last night, going through every possibility over and over as to what I could say and came up with nothing. Abso– fucking –lutely nothing.

Everything sounded too cliché or meaningless.

'_Hey, I know we've only known each other one day, but you've changed me for the better._' I scoffed at myself, throwing her a line isn't going to get me anywhere. She'd think I was just going to play her.

Saying something like, '_look, I really like you and want to take you out,_' could be taking two ways; corny or fake, and knowing her she'd probably think it was fake and I was just looking to hook up, to which she'd tell me to go fuck myself.

I sighed, this shit was not easy.

"I have no fucking clue," I replied to my brother who had been sitting there, impatiently tapping his fingers on the arm rest as I weighed over the two options in my head.

He rolled his eyes.

"_Eddie,_" he drawled out. "Just tell her you took everything she told you yesterday to heart. That you'd like a chance to prove yourself to her and, if she's willing, would like to take her out," he told me.

Huh?

That's pretty much exactly both thoughts meshed together, but less 'been there done that'.

I nodded. "That could work."

By this point we were pulling into the school parking lot and just as I was about to park, I noticed a familiar red truck in my spot.

"Shit, B-Swan so did that on purpose," Emmett said, bursting out in laughter.

I chuckled and pulled into the spot next to it because, frankly, it really didn't matter.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** So, it kinda took eight chapters to cover one day. I promise it won't always be like that. I just had to cover each stage of each characters feeling so you know what they're going through and how confused and new this is for them, it being only one day. Remember, no love yet. Edward is just thinking about that similarities between him and his parents and Esme basically told him he'd fall in love with her eventually, so it'll come for Edward first.

I hope you are all still reading and sticking with me. I know it isn't the most exciting right now but, I had to get the foundation in before I could do anything with it. After Bella and Edward 'talk' that's when it will begin, so keep reading :)

- Janicee.


	9. A New Day

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 9: A New Day**

**Bella Swan**

"Holy shit!" I screamed as I jumped out of bed and ran towards my window.

"Bella!" Charlie warned.

Oops.

"Sorry Dad!" I called down as I stood in awe.

'_Today is going to be a good day,_' I thought as I looked up to the clear blue sky, squinting my eyes at the sun.

I had only been here three days. The first two consisted of unpacking and getting prepared for school and the third was, well, school. Each day was rainy, which wasn't exactly surprising. I knew what I was getting myself into coming here; I didn't expect to see a sunny day in Forks in, well, ever. But today, being my fourth day, the sun was out and I could almost cry out of sheer happiness.

Yesterday sucked.

Hard.

I managed to get on the bad side of Edward Culled, Forks 'king', and some psycho named Jessica.

Though I think Mr. I-Own-Everything cooled his roll, I'm a little afraid for my life where Jessica is concerned.

She was not pleased with me.

Good thing Charlie's a cop.

I sighed happily at the sun. Though the March air was cool, the sun defiantly put me in a much better mood. Forks actually seemed somewhat nice without the fog making everything look depressing, I could kind of see why Charlie liked it so much; the forest along the side of the house, the wild flowers everywhere, mixtures of greens, purples, pinks and blues. Forks was sort of... beautiful.

Huh?

After staring out my window for another fifteen minutes, basking in the view, I finally pulled myself together and went to get ready for the day.

When I was showered, dressed and ready to go I made my way downstairs.

Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table with some coffee and toast while he read the paper.

After we both said 'good morning' to each other, I went to get breakfast; pouring myself some lucky charms.

"Well, kiddo, I'm off to work. Have a good day at school," Charlie said as he finished off the last drop of his coffee, folded up the newspaper and stood to leave.

I smiled up at him. "I will, you go make Forks safe for those unsuspecting townsfolk," I joked.

He rolled his eyes but cracked a small smile before looking at me seriously.

"I'm really glad you're here, Bells. I admit that the reason you came I'm less than thrilled about, and if I was there, well –"

"Dad," I warned him. I knew what he was going to say, and I really didn't want to think about it.

"Well, like I said, I'm really glad you're here. You're strong kid," he told me as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

After a few awkward moments of quiet, he cleared his throat and put on his hat. "Well, I'm off. I'll be home for dinner," and with that he walked out of the kitchen and through the door.

Finishing my breakfast as quickly as possible, I put my dishes in the sink and grabbed my gear and keys off of the table. I piled myself into my truck and drove off towards the school.

When I got to the building, turning into the parking lot, I noticed one particular spot was still empty.

Smiling to myself, I pulled in, ignoring the incredulous stares from the other students and climbed out, fully prepared for the new day.

"Bella!" someone called from behind me.

I turned around and smiled when I saw Alice, Rosalie and Jasper all standing by a fiery red M3.

"Hi," I said shyly as I made my way over.

"That's ballsy," Rosalie said, tilting her head towards my parked truck.

I smiled somewhat smugly.

"Just proving a point." I shrugged, earning a few laughs.

"Bella, Rose and I are going shopping tomorrow in Port Angeles, you should totally come!" Alice said excitedly, bouncing a little in her spot.

Rose nodded her head in approval.

"Uh, that's kind of you to invite me and all, but I'm not really the shopping type," I tried to explain, to which both girls gasped.

"But Bella," Alice breathed, seemingly in shock. "How can you _not_ like shopping?" she asked in awe.

I scratched my head nervously. "Um, I don't really have a lot of money to spend on clothes," I mumbled lamely, hoping they'd leave it at that.

Alice looked at me seriously. "Bella, money isn't an issue. If that's all it is, then don't worry I have plenty of money for the both of us." She waved her hand dismissively.

"No, no, no. Alice, I will not let you buy me things. I don't need any more clothes," I said definitely, shaking my head as I spoke.

She glared at me. "It's my money Bella, if I want to buy you clothes, I'll buy you clothes. You wouldn't deprive me of a chance to buy my new best friend a gift would you?" Her glare softened and her eyes began to water.

I was so far gone.

I sighed. "Fine Alice, I'll come but not too much okay?" I said defeated.

She nodded her head enthusiastically and hugged me.

I looked at the clock on my phone and cringed; there were only a few more minutes until first bell and I didn't want to be late for class on my second day.

"Um, I'm going to head in, I'll see you at lunch," I mumbled as I started my way to the school, only to have someone yank on my arm and pull me back. I turned to see the little pixie holding me captive.

"Yes?" I prodded, raising my eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes.

"You can't go yet, silly!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. "Don't you want to see the look on Eddie's face when he sees your truck?"

I thought about it.

Sure that'd be fun and all but what if he's really mad? Did I really want to be there to witness the brunt of his anger? Not really.

I sighed and shook my head. "Sorry guys, I have to talk to one of my teachers," I lied. "But, you can tell me all about it at lunch okay?" I asked.

Alice pouted but the other two shrugged; their faces indifferent.

"Okay," Alice said solemnly.

I smiled at them before turning and walking into the school.

Math seemed to fly by. I don't know if it's because God hates me and Bio was next or if it was because I was just lost in my thoughts the whole period and didn't seem to notice. Regardless; when math was over, I gulped nervously and made my way to building A, hoping some of the Edward I got to meet yesterday was still there.

The one I liked.

When I got to the classroom, there were only a few students there. I carefully made my way passed them and walked over to my desk, pulling out the things I needed and setting the rest underneath the table.

I sat impatiently as I waited for class to start, tapping my foot anxiously.

After the first bell rang the majority of the class piled in, taking their respective seats.

I looked at the clock; there were only three minutes until class started.

Two.

One.

Jasper came in laughing with Rich Boy following his lead.

Huh?

The bell rang and the teacher closed the door just as Edward was taking his seat next to me. I risked a glance over, he was staring at me.

"Hey," he said quietly.

I tilted my head a little confused. He did start off yesterday's accusation somewhat friendly but the smugness was always there, whereas today it wasn't.

"Hi," I whispered back.

"Can we talk after class?" he asked just as quiet.

I had a good guess as to what he wanted to talk about, but I couldn't just avoid him. Maybe if we talked it out first there wouldn't be so much tension at lunch?

With that train of thought I nodded and we both turned to listen to the teacher.

When the bell rang I was doing my best to not show any weakness; I didn't want him to think I was nervous, even if I was. I packed up all my things while he waited at the table and we both walked out together. I followed him as he showed me outside and sat down at one of the unoccupied tables.

"Listen, if this is about my truck, I swear I was only playing around. If it means so much to you I'll move it..." I trailed off nervously at the look he was giving me; it was nothing like yesterday's strong demeanour, he was looking at me curiously while a smile played across his lips.

He chuckled and shook his head. "It's not about your truck, you can park there if you want," he offered, shrugging.

I heard the 'pop' sound when my jaw flew open.

He laughed again.

"Then, what did you want to talk about? We only have a few minutes until the bell," I reminded him.

He scratched the back of his neck. "I had a lot of time to think yesterday, about what you said, and I know I already apologized but I was just wondering if you'd –"

The bell rang.

Bastard.

"Um, never mind. Will you meet me here at lunch so we can talk some more?" he asked me.

I nodded though I was frustrated the bell cut him off and really wanted him to just spit it out and tell me now.

We both gathered up our things, played that awkward dance at the door as to who should go first and separated to our next class.

Spanish.

Spanish with Jessica.

Fan– fucking –tastic.

This was not a class I was looking forward to.

I walked down the hall towards the Spanish door and went in. The majority of class were already there and seated, including Jessica. I shrank back a little from the glare that would have me six feet under if looks could kill and sat down.

She was out for blood.

She didn't speak to me the entire class, but to some nameless blonde to her right. She would speak intentionally loud and whisper some rumour or another about me that was eye roll worthy. I did my best to ignore her.

By the end of class, I could tell who the petty girls were because most of them were glaring at me.

It was kind of frightening.

I guess news in Forks does travel fast...

When the bell finally rang, I grabbed all my things and hurried down the aisle.

Big mistake.

As if I need any help tripping, one of said petty girls felt the need to stick her foot in the general area I was walking in.

Bitch.

The end result being me on the floor with my belongings scattered everywhere.

I glared up to the culprit, who was giggling so unattractively I wanted to cringe before muttering an overly high pitched, obviously fake, "Oops," with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes and gathered up everything, ignoring the laughs coming from all around me and left the class to go meet Edward.

When I got to the table he was already there, not being tripped and all could save you some time I guess. I put my things down and took the same seat from earlier across from him.

"Hey," he said shyly.

Edward's shy?

"Hi," I replied. I found it sort of hilarious that we had to go through these same motions. "So... what were you saying earlier?" I asked

He gulped. "Oh, right, um..." He ran his hand through his hair. "Yesterday, at gym, I really um, enjoyed? Fuck," he muttered shaking his head.

_what?_

"Go on," I prodded, trying to make sense of what he just said.

"Okay, I've been thinking all yesterday and this morning about what to say to you and now, I can't remember anything and just sound like a jackass. What I'm trying to say is yesterday when we were just talking, that was the first time I had ever just talked to a girl, like really talk, and I know we didn't have such a great start but I wanted you to know that everything you told me yesterday, I took to heart and if you don't trust me yet then let me prove myself, just give me a chance?" he asked, sounding defeated.

I gulped.

"Okay?" I said confused.

He did this cute little huff thing where he breathed out and ran a hand viciously through his hair.

I smiled.

"This is so much harder than I thought," he mumbled more to himself than me. "Bella, will you go out with me?" he finally asked.

Oh.

_Oh. _

"Uh, um..." I was at a loss for words.

I mean, he's gorgeous and can be really nice when he's not being an asshole. But am I really ready for a relationship? Even a date? I don't think I could, yet.

And here I thought I was stronger than that.

"Look, Edward," I started and could feel my heart break a little as I watched his face drop. "Yesterday sucked, so my plan was to just look at today like a whole new day and try to forget everything else. So, I'm willing to forgive and forget. But as to going out with you, back in Phoenix I went through a lot, I don't know if I can get into that again just yet. Besides, we've only known each other one day, how about we just get to know each other and see where it goes from there?" I asked gently.

He seemed to go over my words a little before a smile broke out on his face. "Okay." He nodded. "I can do that."

I sighed in relief. "Alright, how about we go get food? I'm starving." I gestured to the cafeteria where I could see Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all piling on each other to watch us through the window. I started to laugh.

"What?" Edward asked as he looked around me to what caught my attention and started to laugh too. He rolled his eyes and shook his head in faux shame.

"Come on, let's go eat." He sighed as he took me by the hand and dragged me inside.

After we got our food and sat down, everyone went quiet. I blushed as I watched them watch me.

"Seriously?" Rosalie asked, looking between both me and Edward. "You're seriously not going to tell us anything?"

Edward smirked. "What is there to tell?" he countered, to which she huffed.

"Uh, how about why you and Bella had that little chit chat out in the cold, in _private,_ and you were all smiles and holding hands afterwards," Alice intercepted, raising an eyebrow accusingly.

"We made an arrangement," Edward said, coughing to disguise his laughter.

Everyone just kept staring at me then back to Edward.

Back and forth.

Edward, me.

I shrank in my seat a little, embarrassed.

I mean, we weren't going out, not exactly. So it wasn't a big deal but, how do you tell them that and prevent them from making it one?

Yeah, I didn't know either.

"Bella?" Rose prodded, clearly fed up with the lack of information.

I gulped.

"Uh, what he said?" I said meekly as I pointed to Edward.

The guys all laughed, but the girls were not impressed.

I sighed. "We're just going to get to know each other and, you know, see where it goes." I shrugged, trying to feign indifference.

Edward got high fives from the guys, whereas the girls squealed almost knocking me out of my seat.

I covered my face in shame as I notice more than half of the room look our way.

"Oh my God, Bella!" Alice gasped. "Do you know what this means?" she asked excitedly. I shook my head 'no'. "It means that we don't have to put up with Edward's poon-parade anymore, silly!" she exclaimed happily, earning a glare from Edward.

I laughed at his expression.

Today was definitely a good day.

**

* * *

Author's Note: **So since they don't really know each other and what they feel is more of a physical attraction at the moment, they're going to take it slow, meaning they're not together yet. I know everyone loves fluffy Edward and Bella, but it will still be some time.

That being said, the story's about to pick up, if there's something you'd like to see, leave it in your review and I'll see what I can do.

- Janicee.


	10. Changes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Changes**

**Edward Cullen**

After I parked, I climbed out of my car and walked over to where my friends were standing next to Rose's M3. Emmett was still laughing to himself about the whole 'B-Swan' parking in my spot thing. I rolled my eyes and shoved him a little, just playing around.

When we got to our friends the group quieted down and looked at me curiously.

"What?" I asked, not sure what to make of it.

"Um, did you not notice that big red truck in your spot this morning or does fucking everything with a vagina make you go blind?" Rose quipped as she pointed to my spot.

"Doesn't matter." I shrugged and cringed a little at their shocked expressions.

"I'm sorry," Rose sputtered. "Did you just say that someone parking in your spot, the one you punched Newton for standing in, doesn't matter?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged again, not dignifying that question with an answer. Sure, I punched Newton, but I only said it was because he was in my spot. I just really wanted to fucking hit him.

"Yep," Emmett's booming voice echoed, answering my purposely unanswered question. "Our Eddie here's got a crush on B-Swan."

I ducked my head a little as I heard gasps around the parking lot.

Jesus fuck.

Now the whole school's going to know and I haven't even talked to her yet.

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," I hissed as I gestured the crowed now staring at us. "Now everyone's looking."

"Not that guy," he defended as he pointed to Ben Cheney huddled on one of the tables just as he looked up. "Uh, never mind." He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, now you have to tell her," Alice cut in. "If not, she's going to hear about it eventually and it'll probably come from some girl with a grudge who will turn it around and make it look like your just using her," she told me.

Fuck.

Shit.

She's right and with my luck it'll be Lauren or god help us all; _Jessica_.

She'd probably tell her some bullshit about me dumping her as soon as I dipped in the love box and then throw in a bunch of drugs and strippers too.

That girl has no imagination, at all.

I sighed. "I'll tell her today after class," I informed them just as the first bell rang.

I gather up my things from the ground and made my way to English.

Class dragged on like a motherfucker.

Whether it was because I was staring at the clock the whole hour willing it to hurry it's shit up or because Mr. Mason sucked balls at teaching, I didn't know. I just knew that time stopped, I swear it stopped, I was watching the clock and for exactly five seconds it stopped ticking.

I was not pleased.

Those were five seconds I had to wait longer to see Bella and I was anxious.

We really needed to talk and I was starting to question my sanity because this girl _already _had me sprung.

I could have got on my knees and thanked God when I heard the bell _finally_ ring but didn't because that would just take more time away from my goal, and that would just deceive the point.

I gathered up everything and made my way to Bio.

Jasper met me by the door and said something I wasn't paying attention to but laughed anyways so I didn't seem rude.

We walked in together, me a few steps behind and took our seats.

Bella was already at our table when I got there and I couldn't help but stare.

She was genuinely beautiful.

When she looked my way, I smiled and whispered, "Hi," to which she replied likewise.

When I asked her if we could talk after class she actually looked a little afraid. I didn't know why and that bothered me. I tried to reassure her with a smile and she nodded offering a small smile of her own.

My heart skipped a beat.

God, I'm such a fucking girl.

Of course absolutely no work got finished since I spent the whole period gawking at Bella, only to be shaking out of my trance when the bell rang.

I gathered up my stuff and waited for her as she did the same, then led her outside to the tables.

Before I could even open my mouth she was spitting apologizes.

_Fuck, didn't I already tell her I didn't deserve those? _

"Listen, if this is about my truck, I swear I was only playing around. If it means so much to you I'll move it..." she trailed off when she saw me smiling at her, probably not the reaction she was looking for but I found her absolutely adorable.

I chuckled. "It's not about your truck, you can park there if you want." I tried to reassure her.

Her face was frighteningly similar to Rose and Alice's this morning, I laughed at the thought.

"Then, what did you want to talk about? We only have a few minutes until the bell," she reminded me after taking a moment to compose herself.

I scratched the back of my neck.

'_Tell her Cullen_,' I chanted in my head, '_just grow a pair and tell her.' _

I took a deep breath. "I had a lot of time to think yesterday, about what you said, and I know I already apologized but I was just wondering if you'd –"

The bell rang.

_Motherfucker._

I sighed. "Um, never mind. Will you meet me here at lunch so we can talk some more?" I asked hopefully.

She nodded and we both stood up to leave, walking to our separate classes.

Math sucked.

If I thought English was long, that was like one tree in the hypothetical forest of length that was math.

And I didn't even care if that made sense, no, all I cared was that I was _that_ close to asking Bella to go out with me and the bell cut me off.

Just like the clock stopped ticking. This school was out to get me.

And now I forgot what I was about to say.

Fuck my life.

After a dreadfully long lesson the bell rang, and no matter how much I hated it before, I was ecstatic to hear it now.

I gathered up everything and was the first out of class.

I lost my damn mind.

I rounded the corner outside and sat on the very same bench as earlier, trying to form some kind of words in my head as I waited for Bella.

It took five minutes until I saw her.

I counted.

And there goes my coherency...

"Hey," I said quietly, for lack of anything better to say.

She smiled. "Hi, so... what were you saying earlier?" she asked.

I gulped.

_Here it goes._ "Oh, right, um..." I ran a hand through my hair; this wasn't working. "Yesterday, at gym, I really um, enjoyed? Fuck," I muttered shaking my head.

Since when do I freeze up with girls?

_Oh right, since yesterday. _

"Go on," she said softly, probably wondering what the fuck I had just said.

Me too.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, I've been thinking all yesterday and this morning about what to say to you and now, I can't remember anything and just sound like a jackass. What I'm trying to say is yesterday when we were just talking, that was the first time I had ever just talked to a girl, like really talk, and I know we didn't have such a great start but I wanted you to know that everything you told me yesterday, I took to heart and if you don't trust me yet then let me prove myself, just give me a chance?" I asked hopefully. I was exhausted. This whole thing was intense.

"Okay?" she said, sounding more than a little confused.

'_Great Cullen_,' I berated. '_Way to leave out the actual point.'_

I rubbed my face with my palms, dragging my hands up and through my hair mumbling, "This is so much harder than I thought," before, finally, looking her in the eyes. I sighed and just asked what I had been wanting to ask all day. "Bella, will you go out with me?"

And then she paled; if that was even possible.

"Look, Edward," she began and all I could think was '_she's_ _going to say no, she's going to say no_'. "Yesterday sucked," she continued. "So my plan was to just look at today like a whole new day and try to forget everything else. So, I'm willing to forgive and forget. But as to going out with you, back in Phoenix I went through a lot, I don't know if I can get into that again just yet. Besides, we've only known each other one day, how about we just get to know each other and see where it goes from there?" she asked gently.

I juggled the words in my head.

'_...forgive and forget.'_

'_...I went through a lot.'_

'_...just yet.'_

'_...get to know each other.'_

And then I beamed because nowhere in there had she said no.

So I told her I could do that, while making a mental note to ask her later about what had happened in Phoenix, she seemed so sad when she mentioned it.

She broke me out of my thoughts when she asked to go inside, laughing at something she saw in the window. I leaned over her to see Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose all huddled together faces up against the glass. I rolled my eyes at them and shook my head regretfully before taking Bella's hand in mine.

"Come on, let's go eat," I said as I pulled her to my side.

When we got our food and made our way to our table I was already dreading the conversation. The table went quiet as we sat down, everyone staring at us expectantly.

Trying to avoid everything, I began to eat.

"Seriously?" Rosalie asked, staring between me and Bella looking incredulous. "You're seriously not going to tell us anything?"

I smirked a little because they already knew. What they wanted to know was if she did, in fact, agree to go out with me.

"What is there to tell?" I countered playfully.

"Uh, how about why you and Bella had that little chit chat out in the cold, in _private,_ and you were all smiles and holding hands afterwards," Alice chirped in, looking between us for any signs of the answer.

I shrugged but couldn't stop smiling. "We came to an agreement," I answered cryptically, trying to cover my laugh at their expressions with a cough.

They waited a few minutes just watching us; Bella was clearly embarrassed, if her blush was any indication, but I couldn't stop smiling.

"Bella?" Rosalie prodded, not one to be patient for anything.

Bella's throat moved ever so slightly when she gulped. "Uh, what he said?" she answered as she pointed over to me.

I laughed; she was cute when she was nervous.

When the girls didn't back down, she sighed. "We're just going to get to know each other and, you know, see where it goes," she explained with a shrug.

Emmett boomed; slapping me on the back while Jasper gave me props.

The girls were less discrete.

There were squeals loud enough to make everyone in the cafeteria stop what they're doing and turn our way.

I looked at Bella who was trying to shrink back in her seat. If I thought she was embarrassed then, she was terrified now.

"Oh my God, Bella!" Alice gasped. "Do you know what this means?" she asked overly excited on the prospect of us going on a date _someday_.

Bella shook my head 'no'.

"It means that we don't have to put up with Edward's poon-parade anymore, silly!" she exclaimed happily.

I glared at her because I didn't want her to bring up anything that could potentially scare Bella off, and I already knew how she felt about my previous actions.

But, apparently she didn't care because she just shook her head and laughed happily along with everyone.

When lunch was over, I tried to impress Bella by walking her to class. We talked about little insignificant things that I craved so much for. She was my addiction.

One hit of Bella and I was hooked, a goner, no going back.

Not that I'd ever want to.

After I dropped Bella off I made my way to Spanish but, unfortunately for me, Jessica cut me off.

"Hey _Eddie_," she purred in a voice that was never sexy.

"Hi," I said curtly, trying to maneuver my way around her but to no avail; she grabbed my arm and held me there.

"Wound up?" she asked, rubbing herself all up on me. "How about you and I skip class and I can help you relax?" she whispered in my ear.

Before Bella, I'd hop on that shit but not now. I shoved her off of me, perhaps a little harder than necessary. "No," I answered simply, making a move towards my building.

I heard an aggravated squeal.

"What does _she_ have that I don't?" she screamed.

I turned around. She was wearing a mini skirt, a tight shirt leaving very little to the imagination and way too much make-up.

"Dignity," I replied before turning on my heal and walking into class.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Okay, I had to add in Jessica as proof that he's actually changing. I like the way I took it, its okay if you don't. I appreciate everyone who's still reading.

It might take a little while for the next chapter, I never go over a week so don't worry. But, it is ball season so I don't have as much time as I used to.

In the mean time; your opinions matter a lot to me so please review.

- Janicee.


	11. Port Angeles

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 11: Port Angeles **

**Bella Swan**

"Wake up!" I heard as I felt my body flap against the mattress.

I groaned and opened my eyes to see Alice jumping up and down on the bed.

"Why are you here?" I whined, grabbing my pillow to cover my head.

The bouncing stopped and I sighed in relief as I let my body relax.

Two seconds later the blankets were ripped off of me and I shivered as a wave of goose bumps covered my skin. I looked up to see Alice holding them with a cheeky grin while Rose stood next to her, arms crossed with her eyebrow raised.

"We're going shopping!" was Alice's reply.

I groaned some more as I lifted my stiff body up off the bed before looking at the clock.

"Six-thirty?" I yelled incredulous, letting my body fall back down. "You come in here and wake me up _on a Saturday _at six thirty in the morning to go shopping? The malls aren't even open yet and, wait, _how did _you get in here?" I asked, looking between the both of them.

"Your dad let us in on his way out; he told us to tell you he's going fishing with Billy," she told me with a shrug as she sat the blanket back down on the bed, but swatted my hand away when I went to grab for it. "No, you can't go to back to sleep; you already agreed to this yesterday. Go get a shower, Rose and I will pick you out an outfit while you're in there," she ordered as she helped me up and shoved me towards the door.

I raised my hands in mock surrender and complied.

An hour and a half later; I was showered, dressed, my hair and make-up were done and we were on the way to Port Angeles while Alice whined about never getting to drive her Porsche.

"Well Alice," Rose started, cutting off another long list of Alice's complaints. "That's what happens when you choose to buy a car with only two seats in it," she berated.

I chuckled quietly to myself as I watched Alice's crestfallen expression.

"But it was yellow, and tiny, and cute," she exclaimed with a small pout.

Rosalie sighed; exasperated, and turned up the radio.

After enduring a lot of loud singing and fast driving, we were finally in Port Angeles.

"Okay, first things first, can we eat?" I asked.

It was almost ten and I had skipped breakfast, a fact my stomach had been constantly reminding me of.

"Alright, but that's one for you," Alice informed me.

I looked at her curiously.

"'One for me'?" I repeated, confused.

She rolled her eyes.

"When we go shopping you get one food break, one bathroom break and one veto. So that's your food break," Rosalie clarified.

I nodded my head slowly as I processed the facts; there were rules to shopping?

Alice and Rose led me to a quiet little diner. When we walked in through the door we were greeted almost immediately and seated.

It wasn't as crowded as the restaurants back home and I had a feeling they had just opened for breakfast/lunch, but it was still rather busy for such a small place so it took a few minutes to order our drinks.

As soon as the waitress left, the talking began.

"Okay Bella, what's your story? All we know is that you came from Phoenix," Rosalie prodded.

I sighed; I had been wondering when the interrogation would begin.

"Well, there's not much to tell; I was born here, moved to Phoenix with my mom as a baby and now I'm back," I replied with a shrug.

Both girls rolled their eyes.

"We don't want the basics silly, we want juice!" Alice exclaimed. "Were there lots of hot guys in Phoenix? How many boyfriends did you have? Are you still a virgin?" she asked quickly.

I frowned a little at the line of questioning; it wasn't something I liked talking about but to avoid any deeper questions, I answered truthfully, "The guys were alright, one, and no I'm not a virgin."

Their eyes widened and sly smiles played at each corner of their lips.

"Well, what was it like?" Rose asked, leaning forward across the table.

I frowned down at the table. "It was okay, it hurt the first time and I didn't, well you know..." I trailed off, gesturing awkwardly with my hands.

"Come," Rose finished, both girls nodding.

I had a feeling these girls had no shame.

I nodded meekly.

"Neither did I, most girls don't. But back to the point, I noticed you said 'first time' which would imply more than once, no?" she asked.

I felt the heat crawl up my neck.

"Only three times," I answered honestly, looking down at my menu with shame.

Three times that I shouldn't have allowed.

But, despite my better judgement, I did.

"_Come on babe, it's been close to five months," he complained as I said 'no', once again._

_James and I started dating shortly after we met at the Fourth of July party. We mostly just hung out at each others' houses because James didn't like to go out. _

_That should have been my first clue._

_It was two weeks until Christmas and we were at his house alone, something that happened often. We hadn't done much sexually; some heavy petting was pretty much it. I was still a virgin and I wasn't sure if I was really ready to give that up yet. _

_But James was persistent. _

"_James, you know I'm a virgin. I just... want my first time to mean something." I sighed as I let myself fall back onto the bed. _

_He crawled up so that he could hover over me. _

"_But it would mean something," he defended. "It'd be _us_," he said as he dipped his head down and kissed me gently on the lips. _

_My eyes fluttered shut and I could feel my resolve breaking, but I had to say 'no'._

_It just didn't feel right._

"_After Christmas?" I compromised. _

_He sighed and rolled off of me. _

"_After Christmas," he agreed. _

The waitress came then, our drinks in hand, asking us if we were ready to order.

Having been lost in my thoughts I hadn't had the chance to really look so, while Alice and Rosalie gave their orders, I opened the menu and picked the first thing I saw; club sandwich.

After our orders were placed, both girls turned to look at me expectantly but it was Alice who spoke.

"You were thinking about it then, weren't you?" she more so stated than asked. I nodded. "Do you miss him?" she asked softly.

I laughed humourlessly.

"No," I answered simply, taking a sip of my coke.

"Then why did you look so sad?" she continued with a small frown.

I didn't want to tell them that it was all a lie. That it meant nothing to him and I was just a stupid prize in his meaningless game.

So I didn't.

"I was just remembering." I shrugged.

The look on their faces told me that they knew there was more to tell, but the look on mine, luckily, told them to let it go.

The rest of lunch went by fairly quickly. The girls told me a little more about themselves and how everyone had met and gotten together.

"Rosalie, Jasper and I grew up here," Alice had begun. "We would always play together growing up and I always had a little crush on Jasper," she admitted sheepishly. "When we were twelve, we all had our first dance party, the kind where your parents went to another floor and all the kids were left alone," she explained. "Well after everyone was settled in, we all sat around in a circle and played spin the bottle. The way we played it was if it landed on a girl you'd spin until you got to a boy, when someone kissed they'd both get to leave the circle. There were only a few people left, I remember Mike Newton sitting right next to Jasper and praying that it wouldn't land on him." Rosalie laughed at the memory as Alice let out a visible shudder. "Well it did," she continued.

"Oh my God, you kissed Mike?" I had asked, getting into the story.

Rosalie laughed louder. "No, Jasper stood up and looked right down at Mike and with a frightening glare he said, 'Kiss her and you'll see my hand where my hip be at'," she finished, both girls cracking up.

"What does that even mean?" I asked through my own laughter.

They had both calmed down enough to answer. "See Jasper had a slight obsession with the movie _Wild Wild West,_" Alice tried to explain.

"'Slight' being an understatement. He watched it every day," Rosalie added.

"He had the song memorized," Alice continued.

"So, the line 'see my hand where my hip be at' actually means reaching for his gun, the one he didn't have." Rose laughed.

I was starting to get whiplash from all this back and forth, but the story was defiantly worth it.

Alice smiled. "He didn't actually realize what he was saying; he just thought it made him seem tough," She defended.

"Yeah, well Mike didn't know what he meant either but it completely distracted him from kissing Alice," Rose said, getting back to the point.

"And I was so thankful I jumped right into Jasper's arms and kissed him square on the lips," Alice stated proudly.

"Ever since then they've been inseparable and _Wild Wild West_ by Will Smith has been their song," Rose explained, smiling brightly.

"That's cute," I said, smiling at them both. "What about you and Emmett?" I asked Rose.

She beamed. "Emmett and Edward moved here a few years back, before sophomore year. Well, I was on my way to Alice's when I noticed an unfamiliar jeep along the side of the road. I stopped to see if they needed any help, fixing cars being my passion I jumped at the opportunity, and out from around the corner comes a very shirtless, very sweaty Emmett." She started to fan herself as she told her story. "It being summer I was only in a pair of shorts and a small tank top and Emmett walks up to me, blatantly checks me out and sticks out his hand saying, 'I'm Emmett and you are _way_ hotter than Beyoncé'."

I laughed because that sounded like something he would say. "What did you say?" I asked.

She smiled smugly. "I took his hand and replied with, 'well, you're no Brad Pitt but you'll do'." My jaw dropped, I would never have that much confidence. "After a good laugh, I helped him change his tire and we just stayed and talked about everything and nothing and to be honest; I think I fell in love with him that day." She sighed happily.

By that time, we had all finished eating and the check was being placed on the table.

"Okay, time to shop!" Alice squealed, breaking everyone out of their thoughts.

We all paid for our food and walked out into the cool spring air.

Shopping with Alice was, well, intense for lack of better words. She was like a tornado running through the stores, grabbing clothes from every direction and shoving me into the changing rooms. I swear my skin was chafed from all the fabric being dragged across my arms and legs.

When we were finally done shopping for clothes it was getting pretty late, but Alice and Rose wanted to go in one last store. It was mostly heals and fancy shoes so I opted to wonder around, not really paying attention to my surroundings.

After about fifteen minutes in the small boutique I heard two girls screeching. Curious; I followed the sounds.

"You better back the fuck off before I make like a pimp and slap a bitch," Rosalie said as she tugged on the shoe connecting her to a familiar girl.

The girl had small, tight clothes on, one shoe off and had stringy fake blonde hair. It only took me a second for it to click that she was the nameless blonde Jessica had been talking to yesterday.

"You wouldn't!" she yelled in a nasally voice.

Rosalie raised her eyebrow at her as if to challenge that statement. When the girl didn't let go she lifted her hand across her chest and flung it forward with a rewarding slap.

I couldn't help but laugh as I witnessed Rose bitch slap the girl.

I leaned towards Alice. "Why are they fighting over a shoe?" I whispered.

I couldn't understand why that could be the cause to such violent measures, but I was thoroughly enjoying the show.

As I spoke, Rose grabbed the fake blonde's hair and threw her down. The girl let go of the shoe and cried, grabbing onto her head.

"You bitch!" she screamed, getting up and lunging towards her, causing both girls to fall to the ground.

"They only sell one of each style shoe in each size," Alice explained, her eyes never leaving the catastrophe before us. "Rose had been waiting for that pair since the spring collection was announced."

They were both rolling around on the ground for a good five minutes before finally; Rose flipped them over and straddled the girl. "I may be a bitch, but at least I'm not a cheap slut like you," she spat before pulling her fist back and punching the girl in the face.

She whimpered and held onto her jaw as Rose stood up, brushed herself off and grabbed the shoe.

"Okay, let's go," she said happily as if nothing had happened.

Alice and I looked at each other and shrugged as she walked passed us towards the counter where the man, who was oblivious to the entire thing, put down his magazine and went to the back room to retrieve the matching shoe.

By the end of the evening; I had my fair share of new outfits, much to my dismay. I had made Alice and Rose promise not to go overboard earlier in the day, already feeling guilty that they were spending money on me, but was fairly positive now that their idea of overboard wasn't equivalent to mine.

The drive home was mostly quiet, the radio was on low as the sun set behind the trees. Everyone was exhausted and ready to get back.

Finally, we pulled into my driveway. I got out of the car and grabbed my bags out of the trunk before rounding to the window.

"Thanks, guys, for everything. You really didn't have to," I said, gesturing to the many bags in my hands.

Both girls smiled. "We wanted to. We have money to spare and you're our friend Bella, why wouldn't we share with you?" Alice answered, somewhat tiredly.

"Yeah," Rose agreed. "Now you'll look hot and fit in just fine," she said proudly.

I shook my head and laughed, waving goodbye somewhat awkwardly with the bags in my hands.

'_It's nice to have real friends_,' I thought sadly as the car pulled out of the driveway and drove out of view.

**

* * *

Author's note: **A little bonding experience. The fight was upon request, I tried to make it mesh as well as possible with the storyline, and I think Rose fighting over shoes is realistic lol. The 'nameless blonde' most of you have probably already named as Lauren, that's who she is; Bella just never met her so she doesn't know.

Thanks for reading, I hoped you like it!

- Janicee.


	12. Plans

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Plans**

**Edward Cullen**

Have you ever had one of those amazing dreams that are so realistic you're not sure whether it's an actual a dream or real life? The kind where everything goes your way?

Yeah?

Well that's what I had last night; hence the morning wood.

I sighed as I climbed into the shower, my hand automatically going towards my throbbing cock.

I really hoped this wasn't a recurring issue.

I closed my eyes in an effort to retrieve my lost dream, but that fucker was long gone.

So, instead, I pictured Bella; here in the shower with me, her hands replacing mine as I worked myself.

I am one dirty mother fucker.

But it felt _so_ good.

I continued stroking to the many images my one tracked mine could conjure up until I found my sweet release; all over the shower walls.

After I washed off the tiles and finished my shower I climbed out, wrapped a towel around my waste and walked back into my bedroom.

"Eddie," Emmett called, knocking on the door. I tightened my towel and let him in. "We still on for tomorrow?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

I glared at him.

"Fuck off; it's Edward," I corrected him. "And of course we're still on for tomorrow."I was mildly offended that he'd even think otherwise.

He beamed.

"Good. If we pull this off man, we're going to be legends," he said happily.

I laughed at his awe-state and checked the clock before I proceeded to shove him out of my room.

"Get out I need to change," I told him, pushing him through the threshold and shutting the door in his face.

It was nearly one and this was going to take all day.

After throwing on some clothes, I grabbed my keys and walked down the stairs towards the door.

"Em, you ready?" I called out.

I heard the television being shut off and the sound of footsteps making their way to the stairs.

"Coming!" he hollered.

When he came down, we locked up the house and walked out to the car.

"Okay, so the drive is about two and a half hours, you called and made sure he still had it right?" I asked him as I climbed in and started the car.

Emmett nodded his head.

"He told me all we have to do is pick it up. We can hide it down the dirt trail you go down when you go hiking and no one will see it," he informed me as he reached for the radio; turning it up.

The drive to Hoquiam was long and tedious but no different than if we were to go to Port Angeles and at least it was going to be worth it.

When we finally made it to Checkers, we both got out and walked into the small building, the sound of the bell echoing behind us.

"Ah, boys, I was wondering when you would get here," the old bearded man welcomed us as he walked out of his office.

"Jack," I greeted, nodding my head.

"Well, we've got what you want, come back and take a look if you'd like," he told me, leading us out back.

As soon as I seen it I knew it was perfect, I mean we didn't really need much. I looked over to Emmett who was smiling so big it was blinding and nodded.

"Thanks Jack," I said, shaking the elderly man's hand.

He smiled.

"My pleasure; tell Carlisle I said hello?" he asked kindly.

"Will do." I grinned as he went to shake Emmett's hand before turning and walking back into the steel building.

After getting everything in order, Emmett and I walked over to small café for food; having slept through breakfast and skipped lunch.

"This is delicious," Emmett muttered as he took another enormous bite out of his hamburger.

I looked up at him incredulous.

"Apparently," I said, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled and took another bite, finishing it off. "I'll be right back," he said, getting up and rubbing his stomach.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Just going to drop the kids off at the pool," he replied with a wink, whistling as he walked towards the mens room.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

Emmett will be Emmett and there's nothing I could or wanted to do to change him.

When he got back, I finished the rest of my meal and paid before we both made our way back to the car. We made sure everything was in check and got in, starting our quest back home.

The drive back was quiet. I turned up the music to keep myself from falling asleep as I neared Forks but before crossing the border, we drove through the hidden path I've gone through so many times before to hide our purchase.

We finished setting everything thing up and stepped back to look at our masterpiece.

"Ready, Em?" I asked as he looked upon it sullenly.

He nodded and turned to climb back into the car.

"It'll be okay big guy," I cooed; patting him on the back.

I tried to hide my amusement before revving the engine and driving back home.

The rest of the night was uneventful; Esme made us each supper, having not been aware of our road trip this morning and while I picked at the contents on my plate, Emmett ate away greedily and in his words; conceived more children.

I snorted a little at that and pushed my plate aside, claiming to be full.

I went to sleep after cleaning up and changing, all my thoughts drifting to that one brown eyed girl who possessed my every thought.

--

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Emmett yelled, sounding frighteningly like Alice, as he hit me in the head with a pillow.

I groaned.

"What in the ever loving _fuck _are you doing Emmett?" I growled, looking at the clock.

It was way too early for this.

I sat up and glared at my only, soon to be non-existent, brother. "What's my rule Emmett?" I asked him through gritted teeth.

The bastard rolled his eyes at me. "'If it's the weekend, don't wake me,'" he quoted, his voice mocking mine.

"Yeah, and what day is today Emmett?" I asked him, using a voice strictly reserved for three year olds.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" he yelled. "It's Sunday!"

I rolled my eyes at his antics. "The point, Emmett," I prodded.

"Sunday, Edward, _Sunday,_" he drawled, gesturing with his hands like he'd just given me the most obvious clue and was waiting for it to click.

I stared at him blankly. "Yes Emmett, its Sunday; the holy of all weekdays. And I swear to the great Lord above us now that if you don't have a legitimate excuse for waking me up on said day of the week, like for example, I don't know... there's a mob of angry girls after my genitalia? Then you'll be meeting the lord himself, _soon,_" I threatened.

He rolled his eyes at this; which was getting real old, _real fast_. "Eddie, don't be so dramatic," he said good-naturedly.

"_Edward_," I corrected tiredly, running a hand through my hair. "Okay; its Sunday, what's Sunday?" I finally asked, giving up.

"It's_ the_ day!" he told me.

'The day'?

What's 'the day'?

_Oh!_

I squinted my eyes at my adopted brother – taking no blood relations at all – and slapped him hard on the back of the head.

"Ow!" he yelled. "What in the poon chasing nunny was that for?" he asked, holding his now sore head.

"Sunday _night_ is 'the day'," I answered, glaring. "Not Sunday – I should be sleeping – afternoon." I sighed, too awake to sleep but too tired to function yet.

"Oh," he replied meekly, looking down at the ground in semi-shame. "Well, now that you're awake... up for some_ halo_?" he asked hopefully, bouncing slightly.

I chuckled to myself because, like I said before; Emmett will be Emmett.

"Yeah," I replied. "Just give me a minute."

After throwing on some sweats and a t-shirt, I walked to the games room where I spent the majority of my day in there with Emmett playing video games.

When supper rolled around I was getting anxious. I ate quickly and answered when spoken to but otherwise wasn't fully there.

Emmett and I did our nightly chores, played some more video games and then went our separate ways until we were confident that both our parents were asleep.

And then the night began.

"Stay quiet," I warned Emmett as I shut the door to the house and walked towards the car.

It was nights like tonight that I was glad I had the Volvo; her quiet engine purred like a kitten and came in handy when sneaking out.

He made a noise similar to '_pssh_' and climbed in.

"Okay, so we're going pick up Jazz and the girls and then go and get it," I listed as we drove off.

He nodded his head eagerly, a smile planted on his face.

Jasper was first.

"Text the girls and let them know were coming," I told Emmett as we pulled in front of Jasper's house.

I pulled out my phone and dialled the familiar number.

"_Hello?" _the voice said.

"We're out front," I told him.

"_Okay, I'll be there in a minute," _and with that the line went dead.

A few minutes later Jazz came running around the side of his house and hopped into the car.

"Let's go," he said, rubbing his palms together.

I laughed at his Emmett-like eagerness and drove off.

Rosalie was spending the night at Alice's so we were picking them both up there.

"Did they text you back?" I asked Emmett as I pulled in near the house.

"Yeah, they said they're ready," he told me just as I saw the front door open.

I sighed in relief.

It wouldn't be the first time a mission was put on hold waiting for those two.

They came out clad in all black.

"Stealthy," I teased.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me while both girls climbed in.

Last stop: Bella.

"I'll be right back," I told everyone as I pulled over by the trees, making sure my car was out of view, and ran around the house to the window I was told was her room.

I looked around the ground eagerly, in search of something that I could use to get her attention and settled on a few small pebbles.

I gently lobbed one up so it'd hit the window without breaking it and repeated until the old window began to move. I smiled as she stuck her head out and squinted her eyes at me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Get dressed and climb down," I answered instead.

"Why?" she inquired.

I sighed. "It's a surprise. Come on the others are waiting," I told her.

She seemed appeased by the fact that it wasn't just the two of us and disappeared into her room, only to return a few minutes later fully dressed.

She looked down at me nervously and bit her lip. "How do I get down?" she asked meekly.

I chuckled.

"Climb out onto your roof," I told her. "Then shimmy down the tree."

She looked at me like I grew a third head.

"You've seen me walk right?" she asked. I laughed and nodded. "If I can't even do that right, how am I supposed to climb down a tree without killing myself?"

I smiled my infamous crooked smile at her and held out my arms, answering with a really corny, "I'll catch you if you fall."

She rolled her eyes at my antics and climbed out onto the roof, looking nervously at the tree.

A few minutes and my very persuasive humming of the _Jeopardy_ melody later; she huffed, grabbed onto the tree and very carefully began to manoeuvre her way down.

As she neared the last branch, I could tell she was struggling to reach and her foot slipped. I rushed over just as she fell and caught her in my arms. It felt so natural.

"I told you," I breathed out; my face inches from hers.

She smiled and blushed, nibbling on her lower lip ever so slightly.

Why can't I kiss her again?

'_She's not ready_,' I reminded myself. '_Not yet_.'

"Thanks," she mumbled as she untangled herself from my arms, leaving them empty and cold. "So where are we going and why are we going there at one am?" she asked, raising an eyebrow accusingly.

"You'll see," I answered cryptically as I took her hand, ignoring the electricity, and led her to my car.

I opened the back door and peered in. "Alice, sit on Jasper's lap so she can fit in," I told her.

She nodded and scooted over so she was planted on Jasper's lap. Bella bit her lip and looked over to her silent house and back to the car again.

I nodded at her and urged her forward.

"Don't be chicken." I teased.

She rolled her eyes and, without any trace of further reluctance, climbed in.

We drove for a good ten minutes towards the outskirts of Forks, near our hiding place.

Emmett was singing happily along with whatever atrocious sounds were coming out of the speakers while Rosalie glared straight ahead, mumbling swear words, as she tried to ignore her brother and Alice practically getting it on right next to her.

Bella, on the other hand, was quiet and biting her thumbnail as she looked nervously out her window.

I had to be careful because my eyes kept glancing at her through the rear-view mirror and it wouldn't do any of us good if we crashed.

"So," Bella started. "Where exactly are we going?" she asked meekly.

I turned the radio down, thankful for the excuse.

"The hiding spot," Emmett said as if it were obvious.

I rolled my eyes.

"We just have to go pick something up; it should only take another five minutes," I informed her, careful not to give too much away.

"Um, okay," she answered lamely.

Everyone but her knew what we were up to. We had been planning since before she got here and been able to keep it pretty down low, but it being her first week here I thought I'd make it memorable and let her join the party.

Not to mention I liked her...

A lot.

Why couldn't I just ask her out again?

'_Oh right_,' I thought. '_She's not ready_.'

Fuck my life.

As those lovely thoughts crossed my mind, I turned down the familiar path towards the hiding place. I parked near the end of the trail and looked in the mirror to see the expression on Bella's face.

I wasn't disappointed.

"Is that..?" she trailed off questionably; squinting her eyes to see clearer.

Emmett smiled proudly.

"Yup," he answered popping the 'p'.

"And on a..." she trailed off again, her brows furrowing in confusion.

"Yup," I was the one to answer this time. I turned around and smiled at her. "Welcome to Forks, do you know what tomorrow is?" I asked her.

She thought for a quick second before shaking her head, letting a soft musical laugh escape her luscious lips.

"April fools."

**

* * *

Author's Note: **Okay, this one prank is obviously thought out. If there are any others that you'd like to see, let me know and I'll work them in. Also, if you have any funny stories about your own April Fools day experiences, I'd honestly love to hear them.

Other than that, tell me what you think of the chapter :)

- Janicee.


	13. The Jiggy Bus

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 13: The Jiggy Bus**

**Bella Swan**

My weekend was pretty uneventful after the shopping trip to Port Angeles. I did chores, cooked and finished my homework; pretty much the basics. I figured that's all you could really expect from a small town like Forks anyways.

My mind was having a field day with all this extra time to wonder; never letting me get too far away from my past. I then remembered what my guidance counsellor had told me when my thoughts ran too deep and pulled out my dark leather journal where I began to write, letting everything escape.

Therapy wasn't exactly my idea of an outlet, but having all your so called friends turn on you, plus everything that had happened happen can make you pretty desperate for a cure, and a friend to talk to. And, though my mother would normally be my first choice, she had always been my shoulder to cry on and had always been there in the past, at the time I felt like I needed someone who wasn't a part of the situation, who could give me an outside view. I knew my mother would listen, but I also knew that despite the whole mess I created she would blame herself over something she couldn't control. I needed this to be about me.

So I hit up my school's counsellor.

My evening was spent writing down all my thoughts until my mind was numb and my tears were sufficiently shed.

I yawned and put my journal back in my nightstand, and made my way to the washroom. After I cleaned myself up enough that I didn't look like I was crying for hours on end and got ready for bed, I stumbled back into my bedroom fully prepared for sleep to do me in.

So imagine my surprise when, while I was climbing under the blankets, I hear a sketchy sound on my window. My first instinct was that it was just the tree branch knocking against the glass, but while I was looking, I saw a small object fly up and hit it.

Slowly, I got up out of bed and walked over to peer down into the night and, low and behold, Rich Boy's pulling a _Brothers Grimm_ and standing there like the prince in _Rapunzel _with little pebbles in his hand.

I opened the old window, squinting at the trespasser.

"What are you doing here?" I asked; my voice raspy from crying.

If he was looking for a late night booty call, then he could hit up Jessica because I sure as hell wasn't going to and I was pretty sure she just lived down the road.

Even thinking that made me sad.

Rather than answer my question he ordered me to get dressed and come down.

Hell no.

"Why?" I asked, humouring him.

I was a mess and I was exhausted and didn't really feel like going anywhere.

"It's a surprise. Come on the others are waiting," he said.

I pondered that quickly.

If the others were waiting then that would mean it wasn't a booty call.

And that he wanted _me_. I smiled.

My interest was officially piqued and I didn't think there was any going back now. I sighed in defeat and turned back into the dark room to change.

When I was done and warm I stuck my head back out, the thought of what I was about to do finally catching up with me.

I bit my lip and looked at him nervously.

"How do I get down?" I asked, embarrassed.

To my complete surprise, he didn't laugh. "Climb out onto your roof," he instructed. "Then shimmy down the tree."

As if it was as simple as that.

Pft, _right._

"You've seen me walk right?" I asked; he knew where I was going with this.

He laughed and nodded.

This was defiantly not a laughing matter.

"If I can't even do that right, how am I supposed to climb down a tree without killing myself?" I asked.

It was a rhetorical question but the bastard answered it anyway with a smile as he held out his arms like some Romeo, spurting these cheesy lines that he'd catch me if I'd fall.

Yeah right.

He's all about the fairytales tonight.

I rolled my eyes at him and looked over to the tree I'd have to concur.

'_This was not going to end well_,' I thought to myself.

Pretty boy thought it'd be a good time to practice his vocal skills and started humming the _Jeopardy _theme song.

Yeah, not funny.

With one final deep breath, I let the air whoosh out of me and made my way over to the tree of death.

That's what I named it.

As I was attempting mission impossible I was fully aware of Edward's presence and it was mildly distracting. Okay, extremely distracting; which is never a good thing while climbing down a tree with zero equilibrium.

Naturally my foot missed the final branch and I went tumbling down but, while I was waiting for the impact, I felt a pair of strong arms catch me and hold me up.

_Surprise._ I rolled my eyes at myself.

"I told you," he whispered, his minty breath fanning over my face.

I shivered at the close proximity and bit my lip to distract myself from him. I had never wanted someone to kiss me more than at this moment but, with thoughts of everything that happened tonight prior to now, it was clear that I wasn't ready and I didn't want to lead him on.

So, with a small embarrassed, "Thanks." I stumbled out of his embrace.

The night was cool but dry and for that I was thankful, I snuggled in my coat as I looked up. The only light shining was that of the moon and I couldn't help but stare at his god-like form, his messy wind-blown hair and those piercing green eyes that made my knees week.

I coughed nervously and shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts that had begun to assault me.

"So where are we going and why are we going there at one am?" I asked quietly.

He smiled and grabbed onto my hand.

"You'll see," he answered, or rather didn't, as he dragged me out into the night.

When we reached his car, he opened up the back seat and mumbled something to the passengers. I saw Alice slide onto Jaspers lap and Rose push over so I figured they were making room. I nervously looked over to my quiet house; sneaking out when your father's a cop was never really a wise thing to do. I bit my lip and turned back to the car and was surprised to see everyone staring.

Edward nodded and nudged me a little towards the door while whispering, "Don't be chicken," in my ear.

'_Thanks, doucheward_,' I thought; glaring a little.

He's lucky he's pretty.

I rolled my eyes, secretly loving his playfulness, and climbed in, throwing all caution to the wind.

And then we were off.

Ten minutes later we still weren't wherever we were going. Seeing how you could drive the whole town of Forks in less than, I had no clue where we were headed and thanks to penny head's instructions, no one would tell me.

As we were driving wherever, Emmett was singing along to every single song that came on the radio while Rose was next to me muttering profanities left, right and center; apparently not enjoying Alice and Jasper's very public display of affection any more than the rest of us.

Ugh.

"So, where exactly are we going?" I asked _again_, more so for the distraction but, the little hint of frustration didn't go unnoticed.

The radio was turned down as Emmett turned around to smile at me.

"The hiding spot," he said, rolling his eyes like _I_ was the idiot and should already have figured it out.

'_Well, then_,' I thought, rolling my eyes right back at the big buffoon.

Edward cleared his throat. "We just have to go pick something up; it should only take another five minutes," he clarified, obviously picking up on my annoyance.

"Um, okay," was my brilliant response.

_Whatever happened to working on your vocabulary? _

We drove a little longer until we turned down a dark, rocky road. The trees forming a perfect path, lined up on each side. The only light was the light shining from the car; other than that it was pitch black.

I'd be lying if the thought of us being murdered out here didn't cross my mind.

But, come on, this is _Forks._

As we came to a stop, the lights shone the object ahead and I couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Is that..?" I trailed off.

There were no words for this.

"Yup," Emmett answered, smiling proudly.

I squinted my eyes, adjusting to the light from the car.

"And on a..?" I raised my eyebrows curiously.

Edward turned around to face me, a large grin plastered on his overly perfect face.

"Yup," he answered. "Welcome to Forks, do you know what tomorrow is?" he asked.

I tilted my head a little in confusion.

'_Do you know what tomorrow is?' _

If today was Sunday then tomorrow would be Monday...

Or the date?

Today's March thirty-first so tomorrow would be...

_Oh!_

I laughed, I should have known.

"April Fools," I answered, still smiling.

We all climbed out of the car then, walking closer to their 'prank'.

"So, why do you have a picture of the principal dressed up like Steve Urkel hanging on the inside of an old bus?" I asked as we got closer.

The principal, Mr. Hudson, was dressed up in a red, white and blue striped sweater, tucked into black suspended pants; which were clearly too high up if the visible white socks were of any indication. He also had on dress shoes and large brown framed glasses.

Emmett snickered beside me. "Family matters," he answered cryptically.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"When you live in a small town, everyone knows everything," Edward started to explain.

'_Not everything_,' I sighed inwardly and listened on.

"Like when you suck in bed," Rose laughed.

I turned to look at the blonde goddess who was doubled over next to me and tilted my head.

"What does sucking in bed have to do with Mr. Hudson being dressed up in _that_?" I asked, pointing to the atrocity.

They all laughed.

"Well, _Mrs. Hudson_ has a thing for _that,_" Alice explained, her nose crinkling in disgust as she stared on.

Of course Alice would have a problem with the clothes.

"I still don't understand," I stated.

Shouldn't a prank be obvious?

"Well, you see –" Emmett began but was immediately interrupted.

"Roll play," Jasper sighed, shaking his head in shame.

I couldn't help it, I laughed.

"Ew," I said in between breaths.

They all nodded in agreement.

"So, how do you know it has to do with _that_ and it's not just some Halloween costume or something?" I asked, still mildly disgusted with this new information.

"Like I said, small town," Edward answered.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, Mrs. Hudson confessed to Mrs. Newton who told Mrs. Stanley who then proceeded to tell the whole neighbourhood," Alice explained.

I couldn't even fathom having a thing for _Steve Urkel_ let alone confessing it to potentially the whole town.

"So, how'd you get the picture?" I asked, not entirely sure I wanted the answer but too curious _not _to ask.

"We hired a P.I." Rose told me. "There's no way any of us were going anywhere near them while this –" Rose pointed a perfectly manicured finger towards the photograph and gestured around. "– was going on," she said; her face scrunched up in disgust.

Completely understandable.

"Alright, explain the bus," I demanded.

Now that I knew the significance of the picture, it made a lot more sense; add to the already humiliating embarrassment, but the bus had me stumped.

It wasn't a normal sized bus; it was a lot smaller and had a larger windshield, obviously working out for the better. It was clearly old, the faded yellow was stained with rust all over but it sort of fit in a town like Forks, like it belonged.

They all looked around, seeing who would be the one to answer this time, until everyone's eyes landed on Emmett.

"It was free." He shrugged.

_That's it? _

'It was free.'

No elaborate explanation?

"Well we needed a big enough canvas and something hard to take down," Edward added, seeing my expression.

"So we hung the picture in the bus and we're going to put it on the school's roof," Emmett finished, beaming.

I shook my head a little, trying to absorb all this oncoming information.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You got a bus... no, wait. I'm already lost. This is Forks," I told them, like they didn't already know. "We don't have any buses in Forks, " I stated.

"Yeah..."

"So, where did you find a bus?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"We drove up to Hoquiam," Edward explained. "The man who owns Checkers Auto Works is an old friend of our fathers. We called him up and asked him if he had anything that would work; he told us he had this old bus hanging around and since the engine was completely shot you'd have to tow it away. We figured it'd be perfect for a prank at school." He shrugged. "As soon as we get it up, they won't be able to take off the picture because it's inside the bus and they won't be able to get the bus down," he told me, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

I nodded slowly, sorting everything out in my mind. "Okay, so far this is what I've got; you have a bus with a large picture of the Principal dressed in his wife's fetish hanging on the inside of the front windshield. How do you plan on getting it on the roof?" I asked.

I mean, the school was only one floor but last time I checked; buses couldn't fly. If they wanted to put a bus on the roof, they'd need to have some kind of ramp or something big enough. I just couldn't see it happening.

"Don't worry, we have it covered," Rose smiled devilishly.

I had a slight feeling this wasn't exactly legal.

After the boys successfully hooked the bus up to the Volvo, we all climbed back in and headed towards the school.

The drive back was slower because of the extra weight of the bus and because we didn't want the rattling noise it made when we went faster to wake anyone up and make them suspicious.

"Okay, unload the bus and bring the Volvo over to the garage," Rose ordered as we pulled into the parking lot, which was unsurprisingly empty and dark.

"There's a garage?" I asked lamely, peering my head around to look.

"Yeah, near the back. Rose made the school add in an auto body course," Emmett said proudly.

I looked over to Rose who just shrugged.

"What? I like cars," she defended.

I laughed and shook my head.

"Okay, Rosie, how are we going to do this?" Emmett asked.

She beamed at the utter love in his eyes towards her.

"First, we have to pull it out," she answered, whipping out a set of keys.

"Pull what out?" I asked curiously, walking with them near the small garage they were talking about.

The others were walking right behind us as Edward pulled the car in.

"We've been planning this for the better part of a year," Jasper explained. "We each had our parts."

"Which were..?" I inquired, curious to see how this all planned out.

"Well, I had to deal with the P.I." he stated, looking to Alice next.

"And I had to get the keys to the school," she chirped, pointing to the keys in Rose's hand.

"Me and Eddie here got the bus and taped up the picture," Emmet boomed, ignoring the icy glare from his brother who over heard that last part of the conversation as he made his way over.

"And I had to build this," Rose said, lifting up the garage door while being careful not to make too much noise. We were lucky there were no houses nearby.

My jaw dropped as I saw it, and though I didn't know what _it_ was it didn't look that easy to make.

"What is it?" I asked, stepping closer to the object in mention.

"It's a lift," Rose explained, smiling. "I made some alterations like the wheels at the bottom and the added height, but other than that she's pretty standard," she said as she let her fingers trail the metal adoringly. "Alright, let's do this," She ordered.

Everyone nodded eagerly and got to work.

Hooking up the lift proved to be a lot easier than it looked or well, for the boys anyways. They towed it over to where the bus was and had everything set up within fifteen minutes.

Rose was apparently an expert in all things mechanic and knew the, what Emmett deemed, 'Rose-a-lift' inside and out and was able to explain how everything worked whenever the boys got stuck.

The plan was that Rose was going to operate it while Jazz, Emmett and Edward went along for the ride. Their job was to roll the bus onto the roof after it was lined up.

Another half an hour later and we had a bus on the roof of the school, though not a large bus, it was still pretty eye catching and I had my doubts _anyone_ was going to miss it.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** So, a little insight on Bella's depression and how she deals with it. Just because she doesn't always show it, doesn't mean it's not there.

As for the prank; I know it's pretty far-fetched, but I tried to make it as believable as possible... I mean, can you imagine a bus on your school's roof displaying a picture of your principal dressed in his wife's fantasy character, and even _knowing_ about that fetish, or better yet... that fetish being Steve Urkel? Lol.

The night's still young, what is it that you'd like to see? Let me know ;)

-Janicee.


	14. Late Night Shenanigans

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Late Night Shenanigans**

**Edward Cullen**

Fucking finally.

Putting the bus on the roof was a hassle. It took us almost an hour altogether to get 'er done but thank God we did.

And I wasn't lying when I said it'd be worth it.

The bus was successfully on the roof but you could only catch a small glimpse of the picture because of the darkness. Though I honestly had my doubts anyone would miss it tomorrow, we blew that picture up mega size.

By this point, we were all chilling by one of the picnic benches on the far end of the lot after putting all of our hard planning to work. We were all pretty tired due to the massive amount of energy that was absorbed and drained and the fact that it was two AM in the morning but, the night wasn't over yet.

I pulled out my pack of smokes and slid one in between my lips, leaned towards the flame of my lighter and inhaled.

Sweet baby Jesus.

I sighed happily, ignoring the buzz of people around me and just stared off into nothingness.

"Edward?" a small feminine voice called.

I shook my head a little and looked up to see Bella standing in front of me with a look of worry itched into her features.

"Yeah?" I asked, flicking the ashes off the cigarette.

"Uh, well everyone went inside. Are you coming?" she replied, inclining her head towards the large brown building.

I looked around me and sure enough the entire bench was cleared and no one was in sight.

Huh, how'd I miss that?

I nodded and took a good long drag of my smoke before putting it out and standing up.

"Let's go." I smiled at her.

We both walked side by side in the quiet night, each subtly bumping into each other.

Okay, so maybe it was just me purposely brushing against her. But hey, she wasn't complaining.

When we got to the main doors I quickly reached over and held it open for her. She smiled her thanks and walked in, a light pink blush crawling up her face.

Delicious.

I could hear the laugher of our friends around us; Emmett's boisterous voice echoing from the gym.

"So what now?" Bella asked, looking nervous as hell.

I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair and letting it rest on the back of my neck as I looked around the building.

"I don't know." There wasn't exactly much to do when breaking into a school that was duller than the teachers that taught in it. "We really didn't plan this far ahead."

At this she frowned.

She stood there thoughtful for a few moments before a light smile graced her face.

"Come on; let's go to Banner's class," she said as she tugged on my sleeve.

I was going to protest that that would probably be the_ least_ entertaining place to go but that little glimmer in her eyes told me to shut up and follow her lead. So that's exactly what I did.

When we got to the classroom I went to open the door but it was locked.

"Shit son. Rose still has the keys." I sighed, turning back towards the main building only to turn around again at the sound of metal clanking behind me.

Bella was smiling as she held the keys in her hand. "I got them when I noticed you weren't with us," she shrugged.

I smiled at her. "Lead the way."

Bella got the door unlocked on her third try. She fumbled a little with her hand on the wall until the light shinned on.

I quickly rushed over to shut it off.

"Clearly this is your first breaking and entering." I chuckled. "The idea is to stay as low key as possible. The light could be seen and we'd get caught," I told her as I whipped out a flashlight.

Yup, I totally came prepared.

We both walked into the empty classroom tentatively after that. It pretty much looked the same, nothing remotely interesting, but Bella still had that look on her face; determination?

I squinted my eyes as I watched her move around the dark room.

"What are you planning?" I asked, tilting my head as I tried to figure this girl out.

She turned around and smiled pointing to the table across from ours.

"Mike Newton sits there," she said with a smirk.

Did I mention I really, really liked this girl?

It took us a trip to the janitor's closet and wood Shop for supplies, another twenty minutes and some strategic planning and we were done.

I smiled proudly at our hard work.

"Good job, partner." I bowed foolishly.

She giggled and shook her head, jumping up to sit on one of the desks.

"So," I started nervously. "I know you're not ready to go out with me yet but how about a group thing?" I asked.

She looked pensive for a moment that felt far too long and just as I was about to say never mind and mentally kick myself in the face she spoke up.

"What would we do?" she asked sceptically.

I smiled at her. "Watch movies, just hang out. You know, get to know each other?" I spoke with confidence but I was nearly pissing myself nervous.

"Kind of like tonight?" She tilted her head to the side.

I thought about it.

We were alone, huh?

This was supposed to be a group thing but somehow it turned into a somewhat date minus the romantic crap in favor of breaking the law.

With those thoughts running through my head I nodded. "Except instead of here we'd all be at my house," I told her, just in case this wasn't really her thing.

She smiled sweetly. "Sure."

We both talked for a little bit more before going out to find the others.

Emmett was still in the gym goofing around in the dark flashing his laser pointer at Rose's tits while she scowled.

"Emmett, if you don't stop you're not getting any for a week," she threatened, narrowing her eyes.

I chuckled as Emmett let go of the button almost immediately and shoved the toy in his pocket.

"Hey guys, where are Alice and Jasper at?" Bella asked, peering around the dark gymnasium.

Both shrugged.

"I think they said they were going to the office," Rosalie answered, wrapping herself in Emmett's arms.

With that, we all left the gymnasium and headed towards the office.

"_Ungh_, Jazzy right... _mmm..._ there baby."

We all stopped to the sounds of Jasper and Alice _clearly_ getting it on and stared blankly at the office door. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous but it was awkward as fuck.

"Seriously?" Bella whispered; her mouth agape.

I chuckled.

"They have a list," I tried to explain.

I grabbed her arm and led her away from the noises because I'm pretty sure that shit just wasn't kosher and she was probably feeling mega uncomfortable.

She looked at me curiously.

"You know a list of places to have sex in? The office is on theirs." I shrugged. It wasn't that big of a deal for me. I've done it in worse places with worse people but I wasn't about to harbour on that issue.

"Oh, well that's... interesting?" she said, moving to sit down on one of the tables.

It was quiet, but not awkward silence quiet, just... peaceful.

"Emmett you disgusting pig! Stop listening," Rose screeched causing Bella and I both to looked over.

I laughed and shook my head at my idiot brother who was leaning into the door with a child like smile that only Emmett could get while thinking about sex.

It was quiet for another minute before she spoke up, "Can I ask you something?" She turned to face me, all traces of humour gone. She had the same look of determination that she did when we were back in the bio room that caused me to shift under her gaze.

"Uh, sure." I shrugged trying, but failing miserably, to seem nonchalant.

"Why do you do it?" she asked. At the look of confusion that I'm almost positive crossed my face she clarified, "I mean, different girls all the time. Why?" It wasn't like before when she was putting me in my place, she was actually honestly curious.

I shrugged. "Well first; 'why _did_ I do it?' Past tense. And second," I paused trying to actually think of a legitimate excuse but, the truth was, I didn't have one. "I guess, it was just easy." I sighed, scratching the back of my neck. "I'm just used to things being easy for me. At first, when girls started showing interest, I didn't make anything of it, it just _was_. But as I grew older, and more people took notice, I just took the easy route instead of working to find something meaningful. I guess I was just a coward." I looked down, the truth of my own words hitting me so hard. It's easy to admit I was in it for the pleasure, not so much that I was a coward. The thought didn't even cross my mind until I let it two seconds ago. I looked up to Bella and she smiled at me.

"Thanks," she said, putting a hand on my shoulder, her warm touch soothing me.

I looked at her, perplexed. "What for?"

Her smile grew a little. "Being honest," she said simply.

Soon after, Jasper and Alice finally came, no pun intended, out of the office. Alice's short spiky hair was messier than normal, but other than that she looked pretty much the same. Jasper on the other hand had that post-coital look all over him and his clothes were all kinds of messed up.

I shook my head, laughing silently to myself.

After looking at the clock that read 3:06 am, we all decided to call it a night. We locked up all the doors we unlocked and made our way back to the car.

I made quick work of dropping everyone off, leaving Bella last so as to help her get back in. I parked the car where I did the first time and me, Emmett and Bella all walked around the house.

"So, how does this work?" Bella asked looking from me, to the tree, to Emmett then back again.

"Emmett and I will give you a boost, and you just climb up the same way you came down," I told her as I walked towards the tree.

She bit her lip nervously but nodded and followed me.

"Emmett, you take her left foot and I'll take her right, okay?" I asked; looking at my smiling brother.

He loved all things sneaky so tonight was like his own personal Christmas. He nodded his head eagerly and lifted up her left foot as I took the other. She wobbled a bit but caught herself on a tree.

"Okay, lift one foot onto the branch," she did. "There you go, now just climb away spider monkey." I chuckled.

She turned around and stuck her tongue out at me before she began to climb the tree.

She didn't slip once.

After she made it to the roof she looked down at us. "Thanks for coming to get me; this was the most fun I had in awhile," she whispered down.

I smiled up at her. "No problem, I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

I knew she'd be there, but I needed her to tell me.

She nodded. "Goodnight Edward and you too Emmett," she waved a little at my brother.

"Goodnight," we both said in girly unison.

She laughed before climbing back into her room and out of sight.

I frowned, tomorrow suddenly felt like a thousand years away.

Emmett looked from me to the window and let out a boisterous laugh, patting me on my back. "You look like someone just kicked your puppy. You got it bad, brother," he said, tsking me as he walked back to the car.

I shrugged and kicked a small pebble on the ground before following after him and getting in the car.

As I replayed the day in my head, despite how sad I was to see Bella leave, I couldn't help but smile at all we've done.

Besides achieving the greatest prank Forks has ever seen, I also made progress with Bella.

The archway light shined on as I pulled into the driveway and I groaned as I saw my dad open the door looking pointedly at me and Emmett.

We were defiantly going to hear about this, but like I said before...

Totally worth it.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Sorry it's short, and sorry for the wait, you know... summer, ball, writers block and all that good stuff ;) anyway next one will be quicker I hope.

Thoughts? Yes? No? _please_?

Thanks for reading.

- Janicee.


	15. Never Again

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 15: Never Again**

**Bella Swan**

Last night was probably one of the best nights of my life, second at best because I don't think my number one would ever be replaced.

Although it was bittersweet.

It surprised me just how much I could let go and not over think everything when I was with Edward and his friends. It was almost as if we all fit perfectly together and it just _was._ But at the same time, the more I was with them and the more they opened up, the more guilty I felt for not telling them about _my_ past and that always kept me on guard.

I sighed and climbed out of bed. It was later than I would normally wake but, given my late night, I figured I could use the extra sleep and forgo my normal breakfast for a cold pop tart or something.

I quickly jumped into the shower, cleaning up in less than ten minutes and hopped out to get ready for the day.

This going-to-be-crazy-fucked-up day.

I wonder what the towns' reaction was going to be to the bus?

I smiled to myself at the thought of there being a huge riot where everything got out of hand and school got cancelled for the day but, alas, this was Forks and really a bus being on the roof was as good as it gets.

Which is a lot more than you could say about some places...

Throwing on some jeans and a light sweater, I skipped downstairs, back-pack in hand, and grabbed a pop tart from the box. Just as I was turning around, a small lined piece of paper caught my eye.

_Got called in early; see you at dinner._

_- Charlie_

I smiled to myself, touched that he cared enough to leave me a note, and walked out the door, locking it behind me before getting in my truck.

When I got to the school the first thing I noticed was, of course, the large bus on the roof displaying that fruity picture of the principal. As I looked closer I could see Charlie's car along with two others and a tow truck. I laughed to myself because they'd have to actually get the bus down before any towing could happen.

The whole parking lot was a mess of people stopping to stare at the happenings and it took me about five minutes to actually park. I ended up in the spot next to, rather than in, Edward's spot figuring I had made my point already.

It seemed the whole school was crowded out front taking pictures and laughing happily at the prank.

When I climbed out of my truck and made my way through the horde of students, I stopped to look around for any signs of Edward and the gang.

I first spotted my dad who was too busy talking with someone to pay any attention to me, I then noticed Angela and Eric walking about, interviewing people on their thoughts for the school paper, and heard rather than saw Jessica laughing adamantly to someone; probably gushing on who she thought did it, when I heard my name being called.

I quickly whipped my head around to see Alice in the school waving me over.

When I got there, she grabbed my sleeve and practically dragged me into the oddly empty cafeteria minus the three familiar faces.

"Where are Edward and Emmett?" I asked, glancing out the window in search of his Volvo. They all frowned. "What?" My stomach dropped at their expressions.

"Carlisle caught them sneaking home last night and as soon as he saw this he knew it was them," Alice said sadly, pointing outside. "They're in the office now talking about repercussions."

My eyes widened. "But, shouldn't we be there too?" I sputtered out. "I mean, we're just as responsible as they are," I tried to reason.

Jasper shook his head.

"I already tried, they wouldn't have it. Edward said that it's better if they go down for it rather than all of us," he said sullenly and I could tell he hated that his boys were taking the blame and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Well, wouldn't they go easier on us if we all came forward? They have to know that they couldn't have done it alone," I tried ruefully.

I wasn't the kind of person who let other's pick up my pieces and it felt so wrong that they were there and I wasn't.

Rosalie sighed. "Listen, I hate that they're taking the blame as much as the rest of you but I understand where Edward's coming from. Why should we all get in trouble when there's no need?" she asked rhetorically.

I understood; that wasn't the problem, the problem was that it wasn't _right_.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, let's wait and see what's going to happen, and if they get off then we won't do anything. But if they're in a lot of trouble, I really think we need to step up," I told them.

I didn't really care if they agreed to it or not. If Edward and Emmett took full blame and ended in the shitter for it than I would turn myself in. I'd never rat any of my new friends out, but I wouldn't cower either.

They all nodded respectfully, clearly understanding where I was coming from.

The bell rang and the audible groan from the people outside was laughable as the vice principal forced everyone into class. We each said our goodbyes for now and went our separate ways, knowing full well that it was going to be a very long day until we found out what happened.

Math droned on from the very minute I stepped through the door.

Mr. Varner had to yell at his students to pay attention over and over, because everyone was too busy looking outside the window at what was going on to really listen to his lesson.

I, on the other hand, stared at the clock as it ticked at a ridiculously slow rate. It seemed everything was in slow motion, even the teacher's voice slowed down and echoed in my ears. Not to mention, every little sound caught my attention; the heavy breathing, tapping of pencils, shifting of paper.

I was literally going insane.

When class _finally_ ended, I was practically shaking with anticipation as I walked towards the bio building in search of Edward. When I walked through the threshold I frowned when I noticed that he wasn't there.

"Looking for me?" a voice whispered in my ear.

I turned around and beamed at the sight of his bright green eyes and practically jumped into his arms. When we pulled apart he had a huge grin stretched across his face and I couldn't prevent the blood that rushed to mine.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "What happened?" I asked nervously.

He smiled.

"Well, Carlisle took Em and I to the office to talk to Mr. Hudson. He figured if we came forward we would face less of his wrath. Carlisle simply convinced him that it was a harmless prank and as long as we take it down, we only have to serve detention for however many days," he said with a shrug.

I sighed in relief that they weren't in too much trouble and went to take my seat when Edward nudged me and shook his head.

"What?" I asked curiously.

Instead of saying anything he just motioned to where Mike was walking through the door laughing with a couple of his friends.

With everything that happened, I had completely forgotten about our side prank and now that the bus business was water under the bridge, I would actually enjoy this.

I smiled at him and nodded my head.

I walked up to where Mike was standing but instead of interrupting whatever it was he was talking about, I just stood off to the side and waited until he was done.

That is until I heard my name...

"I had her in that bus screaming so loud I'm surprised the windows didn't break," Mike said smugly as the other guys listened on in awe.

My mouth fell open in shock as each guy gave him props and then, noticing my presence, turned to look at me with big flirtatious smiles as if what he said was true and they were hoping I'd open my legs and just invite them on in.

Seeing their attention shift, Mike turned around to see what had caused it.

His eyes first widened in shock as he saw me standing there, arms crossed, but as quickly as they did they were back to normal and replaced by a large grin.

"Hey Bella!" he said happily, before turning to glare at Edward.

I didn't know whether to roll my eyes at the ridicules act of male testosterone, or to stand stock still in shock that he was going to act like he didn't just tell five of his friends that he fucked me in a bus on the roof.

"Mike," I said through clenched teeth as I glared at him. He noticeably gulped, finally figuring out that he had been caught. "So it was you who put the bus on the roof, was it?" I asked, tilting my head to feign innocence.

He seemed to ponder that for a second, looking from his friends and back before nodding, obviously not wanting to be caught in his web of lies.

I rounded him a bit and took a step forward, to which he responded by taking one back.

"Funny," I started, pretending to think. "I don't remember seeing you there."

I took another step forward.

He took another step back.

"Dude!" one of his friends shouted. "She doesn't even remember!" He laughed as if to mock Mike's abilities.

I rolled my eyes and one of the other guys standing there hit him on the back of his head and murmured something to him and, by the sound of the long "Ooooooh." that came after it, he was explaining the obvious; that Mike was in fact lying and we didn't really do it in the bus.

I quirked up an eyebrow as I took in Mike's nervous face. "Well?" I asked, tapping my foot against the concrete floor.

The whole room was quiet now, realizing something was up, and you could almost hear the sweat pool on his forehead.

"Uh, I... I mean, um," he stuttered lamely, taking another step back.

Everything came flashing back; everyone who had ever lied to me to get something, all the rumours and cruel jokes and, as I looked Mike in the eye, I saw everything I hated about Phoenix and for a second, Mike wasn't Mike anymore. Mike had long dirty blonde hair tied back in a low ponytail; he had dark eyes and tanned skin.

As I looked this ridicules, cocky little jerk in the eye, all I saw was James and without another thought, I pulled my fist back and couldn't help but smile as it flew forward and landed with a rewarding crack.

As if in slow motion, Mike lost balance and flew back, one hand automatically rising to his face to cradle his wound as he landed right into his chair.

The piece we cut in the middle of the chair collapsed and Mike fell through, his body folding so his legs were by his face and he was stuck.

The whole class was frozen as they stared at the sight with wide eyes and opened mouths.

The sound of the ticking clock was the only audible sound as it counted at least ten seconds before time resumed to its regular pace and laughter filled the air.

Mike tried to wiggle his way out but that only made him fall through even more and his body hit the ground.

"You broke my nose you bitch!" he screamed, glaring at me from his two already bruising eyes.

Edward walked up, camera in hand, and smiled. "I suppose you did this last night too?" he inquired before snapping a picture and saying, "April Fools."

The look on Mikes face was priceless as he glared at him.

Edward laughed darkly and squatted down so that they were at eye level. "Oh, and if I ever hear you talk about Bella like that again, I'll make sure your nose isn't the only thing that get broken, understood?" he asked harshly.

Mike gulped and nodded just as the final bell rang and everyone took their seats.

When the teacher came into the room, he shook his head and helped Mike out of the chair before sending him to the nurse and that was that.

Bio wasn't nearly as long as math, considering my mind was at ease and I was able to concentrate.

Though it was getting old hearing about how I'd decked Mike.

Edward and I teamed up and finished our lab early, talking aimlessly until the end of class.

When the bell rang, I was in a pretty good mood and sighed happily as I gathered up my things.

"I'll see you at lunch?" Edward asked. I smiled and nodded and we both moved to go our separate ways.

I made it into the Spanish class just as the final bell rang. I took my seat and opened my books waiting for the teacher to start her lesson when I heard Jessica say my name.

"I mean, she isn't even that pretty," she complained to the girl beside her. "And she's been here what? Less than a week and she already has Edward pining after her. I don't get it." She sighed, frustrated.

I glared at her. She had to know I was here, did she not even care that she was talking about me where I could hear her?

Obviously not.

Bitch.

And then I thought about my so called friends back in Phoenix, and when shit hit the fan.

_After crying all night I had finally got up the nerve to talk to him. He needed to know; I had to tell him how I felt. _

_I walked through the doors of the school, everyone stared._

_They always stared._

_I took a deep breath._

'_You can do this Bella', I thought as I made my way down the hall. _

_And that's when I saw them._

_He touched her cheek gently, gazing in her eyes the way he always did with me. He then leaned forward, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and I felt my stomach tighten as the sound of her girlish giggles echoed in the hall._

_I clutched my hand to my mouth and darted into the washroom, throwing open the door to one of the stalls and fell in front of the grimy toilet wheezing and crying and vomiting and just falling apart. _

_I took a few deep breaths, grabbing some toilet paper from the dispenser to wipe my mouth and, just as I was going to get up and go rinse out the gross after taste, the doors opened and the room was suddenly filled with the sound of heels clicking against the concrete floor and laughter of those who I used to call friends. _

"_He's just so sweet, and beautiful, and everything I could have ever dreamed," Tanya gushed. _

_I squeezed my eyes shut and willed her to go away. _

"_And, ugh, I'm so glad he finally got rid of that plain Jane. I mean, really, he told me it took her almost five months to put out. If I knew she was such a prude when we made that bet I would have never done it." She sighed. _

_I looked between the cracks of the stall; she was standing in front of the mirror re-applying lip gloss to her already over glossed lips. _

"_Really though," Kate agreed. "And how dense could she be? Why would she think the hot new guy would want her? The only reason she even got invited to that party was because of the bet, and she brought snacks. Who does that?" she giggled and I suddenly felt another wave of nausea run through me. _

_It was all a game. _

_Right from the beginning I had been used. _

_As the door of the bathroom closed, signaling the coast clear, I walked out from my hiding spot and looked myself in the mirror. _

_My eyes were blood shot, I looked positively drained and lifeless, my hair was a mess but, if all those things, I was now determined. _

'_I could do this', I thought, gripping the edge of the sink. I looked down, took a few calming breaths and looked back up, almost shocking myself at the new fierceness in my eyes._

_I _would_ do this. _

I shook myself out of those thoughts and looked around.

Jessica had finally stopped babbling about and was now drawing ridiculously juvenile 'I love Edward', 'Mrs. Jessica Cullen', and 'E+J=love' with a bunch of scribbled hearts all over her notebook, not even giving the teacher a half a glance.

I rolled my eyes, and tried to focus on the lesson Mrs. Rodriguez was on.

'_Never again_,' I thought as I took out a piece of paper and jotted down my notes.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** So, another flashback. Hope you liked it. For those who don't understand the prank pulled on Mike...

They cut a hole in the chair; leaving a little slither on opposite sides so it would collapse under pressure.

In case you need imagery: Picture a donate tube, the kind for water. You know how you sit with your arms and legs out, but you ass falls through? Pretty much that.

So who loves that Bella punched Mike in the face? and who wanted her to punch Jessica? Lol.

Review and let me know.

- Janicee.


	16. Repercussions

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 16: Repercussions **

**Edward Cullen**

I grimaced from my seat on the couch as I watched Carlisle pace the room in front of us, while Esme sat on a chair with her head in her hands.

After about five minutes of Carlisle muttering and throwing his arms mindlessly in the air he stopped, looked at both of us, shook his head and paced some more.

When the movement finally stopped for good, he turned to us with a pointed stare.

"Explain yourselves." He sighed, obviously having used up all his energy on his mini jog back and forth across the room.

"We were hungry?" Emmett, God love him, answered with a cheeky grin.

I swear only he would use the excuse of food for being the reason we were out wandering the streets at three in the morning.

Esme glared at him. "Emmett; smarten up. This is not the time, nor the place. Now, where were you?" she demanded, glancing between the two of us.

I sighed, combing my fingers through my hair. "We went out for a drive." I shrugged, looking up sheepishly.

"Yes, Edward, you showing up in your car kind of gave that away," Carlisle stated, looking at me exasperated. "Now stop being evasive and tell us why so we can get to your punishment and all go to bed." He sighed.

Right; and how exactly do you tell your parents that you snuck out late at night, along with your friends, to put a bus on the roof of your school without getting in a shitload of trouble?

Not to mention breaking in and destroying school property.

Trick question; you don't.

I cleared my throat. "There wasn't a reason." I shrugged to appear nonchalant. "Just teenage boys, being teenage boys," I lied uselessly.

I could tell they didn't buy it, the look in their eyes gave them away, but it was obvious they were going to let it drop for now.

Carlisle shook his head. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, and I expect the full truth," he warned. "Now, go get some sleep. You have school in the morning," he said, shooing us off.

Emmett and I both sighed in relief at the thought of sleep and scurried up to our respective rooms.

--

My alarm woke me up way too fucking early in the morning, as per usual.

Not even having enough energy to reach over and either hit the snooze button or to just shove the clock off the night stand like I'd normally do; I begrudgingly flipped myself over and hid my face in my pillow, doing my best to ignore the annoying beeping in my ears.

Not two seconds later did my door fly open and angry mama bear step on in; she looked down at me through squinted eyes as she walked over and roughly turned the alarm clock off.

Sweet blazing fuck, that spark in her eyes did not look like she was about to bring me breakfast in bed. Nope, this woman was out for blood.

Mine in particularly.

I gulped.

"Good morning?" I squeaked.

I inwardly groaned for showing weakness because as we all know, rule number one: thou shall not show fear in the face of one's angry mother.

Esme pursed her lips and took a step closer to my bed. "Do you have any clue as to why there might be a _bus_ on the roof of your school?" she asked, not backing down from her definite stance.

I had never been more scared in my entire life.

I gulped again, and quickly shook my head 'no'.

She didn't buy it.

"None at all?" She quirked up an eyebrow and looked down at me disbelievingly, her hands planted firmly on her hips.

I shook my head again, feeling my mouth go dry.

She hummed quietly to herself. "Then would you mind explaining to me exactly what Emmett was referring to when he said 'we put the bus on the roof of the school'?" she inquired angrily, taking her hands off her hips and folding them across her chest some-what certainly.

I narrowed my eyes.

_Emmett. _

She didn't wait for an answer as she went on. "I get a call at seven in the morning from Mrs. Stanley with the latest gossip. Imagine my surprise when what she tells me sounds a whole lot like something my boys would do," she ranted as she began to pace my room. "What do you have to say for yourself young man?" She stopped and asked.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing smart-ass or witty came to mind and I didn't know how to answer any other way.

She glared and started pacing again. "What in god's name kind of excuse do you have for such a ridiculous stunt? And putting that poor man's picture on the inside for the whole town to see." She stopped and shook her head ashamed. "I raised you boys better than that."

I frowned. I didn't think it was _that_ big of a deal. I mean, if they didn't want people to know about their little roll playing games than they shouldn't have told anyone to begin with.

A moment passed and I realized she had stopped talking and was staring down at me expectantly. "Well?" She asked; keeping her hands folded in front of her.

I gulped loudly. "April fools?" I smiled up at her sheepishly.

Her eyes blazed into mine.

'_Well, I obviously didn't get my sense of humor from her,'_ I concluded.

She sighed. "Go get ready for school and meet me and your father down stairs," she told me with a pointed look. "That goes for you too Emmett," she said a little bit louder.

My door slowly opened just enough for Emmett to peek his head in with a guilty look on his face. Esme shook her head and marched out of the room and down the stairs.

"You had to tell her?" I asked, annoyed.

He looked at me sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck. "Dude, you know how she gets." He shuddered.

I rolled my eyes and hopped out of bed.

"I wouldn't have given in," I muttered to which he scoffed.

"Yeah, okay, the only reason you didn't was because she already knew," he said smugly.

I looked at him incredulously.

"And how exactly did she know Emmett?" I asked condescendingly.

I knew I wouldn't have confessed had Emmett not already done so.

"It's only because she came to my room first," he whined.

I sniggered at my brother humourlessly as I grabbed my clothes for the day and walked towards my door.

"I wonder why..." I looked back at him and rolled my eyes before making my way to the bathroom.

When I was through the three S's, clothed and ready for the day, I nervously made my way downstairs ready to face what I'm sure was going to be a horrific experience.

I froze when I saw the table filled with breakfast foods.

"You're feeding us?" I asked bewildered.

Esme rolled her eyes. "You may be in trouble but no child of mine is going hungry. Now, sit and eat," she demanded, gesturing to my regular chair.

Emmett was already sitting down and scarfing his portion greedily as I slid into my seat.

The table was quiet while we ate, much like most mornings, but the anticipation made everything so much worse it seemed.

I ate my toast and tried to figure out _some_ way out of this mess.

Nothing.

I had absolutely nothing.

I sighed and pushed my plate aside, suddenly not hungry.

"Okay, we've delayed this long enough," Carlisle said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Edward, no car for a week," he told me before turning to my brother. "Emmett, no video games." He winced as he saw the utterly heartbroken expression on Emmett's face.

Emmett's knee started twitching under the table, causing the dishes to shake each time his leg hit the hard wood.

My mind hadn't even processed the _'Edward, no car for a week'._ Nope; I was too preoccupied watching my brother have a nervous breakdown.

I studied him closely as he zoned out from the conversation, breaking into a cold sweat.

I glared at my father. "You just had to go and take away his video games, fuck. They're like his brand of heroine; do you really want to be going through all the stages of withdrawal _again_?" I asked.

He knew what happened the last time; not the most endearing sight, Emmett sans video games that is.

Carlisle sighed. "Watch your mouth," he chastised before taking a large gulp of his coffee and rubbing his forehead as if to rid himself from a headache most likely caused by us. "And it was the only way –"

"Wait," I cut him off quickly. "My car?" I asked horrified, my mind apparently _just _catching up. "You're taking away my car?"

He nodded.

The bastard was taking away my car.

My baby.

I looked up at him with wide fearful eyes.

He rolled his.

It was the single most saddest moment of my entire life – I swear I teared up a little – and he rolled his eyes at me.

_Geesh_.

Can a guy get a little sympathy?

And really, all I did was put an eensy weensy little bus on the roof of a school.

A school that couldn't even _afford _a bus.

Heck, I did them a favor. Now they could hook up the jiggy bus to a tow truck or something and we could go on a field trip, to like, the zoo. I didn't fucking care.

I just wanted my mother fucking car.

I glared at my so-called father. "You're not taking her," I said, pushing my chair back and standing up.

He laughed – fucking _laughed_ – at me.

Little did he know, I was not kidding around.

"No." I shook my head.

Esme sighed beside me. "Edward, keys. Now." She held out her hand, wiggling her bony little fingers at me.

Before I could argue any more she narrowed her eyes. She was even scarier than this morning.

With shaky hands I reached inside my pocket and regretfully placed my keys in her hand.

"What about school?" I asked sullenly, not looking up as I sat back down.

"Your mother or I will drive you," Carlisle answered monotonously.

I opened my mouth to argue, but I knew it was a moot point so I just shut up and ate my food.

Emmett was still staring off into nothingness when it was time to leave for school, not even flinching when Carlisle explained that part of our punishment was confessing to the principal himself.

That was not a conversation I was looking forward to.

'_Hi, yeah, so... about that picture you have no knowledge of...' _

That's going to go just fucking dandy.

It took five minutes to get Emmett into the car, and by that time his mind had finally processed what was going on and he wasn't much better than I was.

"No." He shook his head, tears in his eyes. "No, you can't. You can't do this to me."

All this over _video games_ I mean, come on, all he has to do is go over to Jasper's house or something and get his fix, it wasn't like there was another Volvo laying around for me to drive.

That thought made me frown.

When Emmett was in the car and calmed down, I climbed in looking longingly at my car.

'_I love you,'_ I mouthed, placing a hand on the window as we drove off.

Carlisle snickered. "Don't be so dramatic. It's a week. Edward, you'll see your car, you just can't drive it. Emmett; video games, honestly." He shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot.

The sight before us definitely brightened our morning. The lot was filled with students stopping to stare at the bus on the roof, snapping pictures and laughing joyfully.

Carlisle looked back at us with warning as we made our way into the school.

The door to the office squeaked loudly as we walked in and waited for Mrs. Cope to glance up.

"Oh!" she exclaimed with a start when she saw Carlisle standing between us. "Dr. Cullen, what can I help you with?" She fluttered her eye lashes enough to make it laughable.

Carlisle cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'd like to talk to Mr. Hudson, if that could be arranged."

Mrs. Cope nodded and typed something into her computer before telling us we could go on in.

I gulped, feeling like a lamb to the slaughter as we made our way to the door.

Mr. Hudson had his head in his hands, covering most of his greyish black hair when we walked in.

Carlisle moved forward to shake his hand, and took a seat between me and Emmett.

Mr. Hudson sighed. "What is it I can do for you?" he asked Carlisle politely before turning to glare at us.

"Boys." Carlisle gestured for us to talk.

Great.

"It was us," I confessed.

Mr. Hudson rolled his eyes.

That was getting old, real fast.

"Of course it was you," he said as if it were obvious. "Do I look like an idiot?"

Emmett started to say something in reference to his picture but I quickly shut him up with a kick to his shin.

"Look, Mr. Hudson, my boys were just playing a prank in the spirit of April Fools, and they're very sorry for any harm it may have done for you –"

"Or your wife," Emmett chimed in.

We all gave him a look that told him to shut the fuck up.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Like I was saying, if you could just look at it as boys being boys and give them a punishment accordingly, I'd be very grateful," he said professionally.

Mr. Hudson nodded because, well, no one could say no to the good doctor. "Fine, I expect you to take the bus down and dispose of it," he told us. "And you have detention after school for two weeks," he said with a tone of finality.

"Yes, Mr. Hudson," Emmett and I said in unison with our heads held low.

Thank God he didn't ask about where we got the picture. Though, he was probably trying to forget all about that.

I smiled as I made my way out the door.

Emmett and I both walked down the empty halls towards our first classes.

Not knowing anything about the 'who's' and 'how's', no one thought anything of it when I showed up late for English.

Nothing new.

Mr. Mason glared at me for a second as I took my seat but other than that everything went smoothly.

When the bell rang at the end of class, I packed everything up and walked towards the Bio building, stopping when I saw a familiar brown haired girl looking around with a frown.

I smiled and snuck up behind her. "Looking for me?" I whispered.

She quickly turned around and jumped into my arms.

Fuck she feels so good there.

Finally realizing she just threw herself at me, we peeled apart, regretfully on my end, and she looked down with a blush.

"Sorry," she mumbled, moving away from the door so I could step in. "What happened?" She looked so nervous that I cut my answer short and told her it was no big deal, though it was killing me inside that I lost the Volvo.

But this sight made me smile...

I nudged Bella and pointed to where Newton was and she beamed at me.

'_At least we could enjoy this_,' I thought with a smile.

I walked over towards my desk and sat down to watch the show.

Bella stood a little away from the group, a little smile on her face that quickly turned into a frown.

I blanched.

Was she feeling guilty?

Did she change her mind?

Please, God, don't let her change her mind.

I watched as she walked up to Mike. I couldn't hear much of what they were saying but caught a bit of Bella asking if it was Mike who put the bus on the roof.

Yeah_, okay._

I could see her mouth moving and from the look in her eyes I could tell she was angry. She rounded Mike and took a step forward causing him to take a shaky step back.

This went on until they were close enough to hear clearly.

"Well?" she asked angrily.

Mike's eyes were wide.

"Uh, I... I mean, um," he stammered.

It all happened so fast after that, Bella pulled her fist back and punched Mike square in the face.

The class was completely quiet as they watched him stumble back and fall into the chair.

Well, shit.

'_That's one way to get 'er done_,' I thought approvingly.

People were laughing loudly but I could still make out the cruel words he said to Bella, "You broke my nose you bitch!" he had screamed.

I walked up, trying to keep the snarl off my face. "I suppose you did this last night too?" I pulled out my phone and took a picture. "April Fools."

This caused even more laughter as I knelt down so we were at eye level. "Oh, and if I ever hear you talk about Bella like that again, I'll make sure your nose isn't the only thing that gets broken, understood?" I quirked up an eyebrow and stared at him expectantly.

Mike gulped and nodded just as the final bell rang and everyone took their seats.

After the teacher came in and cleared up the shit that is Mike from the class, everything ran smoothly.

I got Bella to repeat everything that was said that I missed and smiled proudly at her although I was pissed I didn't get a hit in, but I suppose it was funnier this way.

When class was over; we both agreed to meet up at lunch and I went outside for a breath of fresh air.

I got out a smoke and my phone and lit up while it rang.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered on the other end.

"Jake, I need a favor."

**

* * *

Author's Note: **Well, this was a fun little chapter... what do you think the favor is?

Oh and I laugh every time someone say's they need a breath of fresh air, as in going out for their smoke break. So ironic.

Opinions?

- Janicee.


	17. Friday Night

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 17: Friday Night**

**Bella Swan**

A week went by.

On Monday the boys and Rose took the bus down from the roof as was instructed by the principal.

I, myself, had no clue what they were going to do with the bus after they got it down. I couldn't tow it on my old truck in fear of it breaking down under the added pressure, Rose wouldn't put it near her car and Jasper took his bike.

I had originally thought Edward would just tow it with his car like before but apparently losing the Volvo for a week was part of his punishment.

Shame.

But, luckily, Edward had thought ahead.

A tall native looking boy met us at the school in a small black Volkswagen. There were a few dents and you could tell it was worn within its years but, like the bus, it fit here.

The boy was huge, and pretty good looking too but stunk of stale weed.

Not the most enduring smell.

But he was nice.

We talked while the others hooked up the bus to his car. He told me how he knew Charlie through his dad and that the next time he came over to visit, I should come too and meet his girlfriend Leah; saying he thought we'd get along. I quickly agreed and smiled warmly at him, he wasn't nearly as intimidating as he looked although he didn't seem overly friendly with Edward.

You could feel the animosity between them as they silently glared at one another but not moving to start anything. It was like an awkward standstill; they didn't like each other but they were at a truce.

I had a strong feeling they weren't the best of friends.

Jake – as he told me to call him – winked at me and waved goodbye to the others when he was giving the okay to go, muttering something about 'being even' and 'good riddance' as he slammed his door shut and drove off.

I shook off the confusion and smiled when I didn't see any jealousy in Edward's face but, instead, he seemed at some sort of peace as he watched him drive off, like a chapter in his life had ended and he was moving on to bigger and better things.

I was intrigued, it seemed I liked Edward more and more everyday and these little changes made my heart flutter.

He was really trying.

And that thought made me frown, because it didn't really feel like I was.

I made the decision then that whenever he chose to ask me out next, I'd agree. I'd just leave the ball in his court and let him do with it what he pleases because, to be honest, I really couldn't see a downside to dating him anymore.

As long as we took it slow.

As soon as my mind was made, it felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders; which, to be honest, shocked me because I didn't know it was bothering me that much.

I felt proud and relieved.

Everything went smoothly after that.

The week held routine; I got up, got dressed, went to school, came home, cooked and went to bed only to repeat the cycle the next morning.

I got to see everyone at school as I normally would in my classes and at lunch before we'd all go our separate ways at final bell.

I couldn't help but feel a pang in my chest each time Edward and Emmett had leave for detention at the end of every day.

I still felt guilty.

It didn't seem fair to me that they had to suffer while we all got off scot-free, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it.

It was sad, but easily let go.

The worst of it was Edward not having his car. Everyday he'd hop out of either one of his parent's vehicle and scowl as he walked into the school, but every time he saw me, he would smile; seemingly better.

Friday couldn't come soon enough.

But eventually it did.

And I was nervous.

It wasn't who I was about to hang out with, but where. It would be my first time in the Cullen mansion and standing in front of the large wooden door was pretty intimidating.

I gulped and rang the doorbell.

"Bella!" Emmett boomed when he answered the door. "Come on in." He held the door open more and gestured the entryway. I smiled politely as I walked in and took off my shoes before hanging up my coat.

Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, I was told, were away on some business trip for the weekend and we were all going to be alone.

But I wasn't as scared as I thought I'd be.

It seemed that along with deciding to say 'yes' to Edward when the time came, I let go of the nerves that surrounded me where he was concerned and I could fully enjoy myself.

And forget the pain.

"Wow," I breathed looking around. "Your house is amazing."

The walls, painted white, were at least twelve feet high, the roof decorated by a large crystal chandelier. The floors were a dark shade of hardwood and adorned with a full living room set, all beautifully crafted and unique.

The top floor gave off the appearance of a balcony with stairs guiding you up and a fancy banister tracing the way.

Every detail I could see was entirely perfect.

It was gorgeous.

Emmett laughed. "It's all Esme – my mother – she lives for this sort of shit. I never really understood it myself, but eh." He shrugged.

I giggled and followed him as he led me downstairs.

Downstairs was cosier and was clearly built for hanging out.

The lights were dimmed, the floors were carpeted a deep grey color and the room was filled with two black leather couches, a large La-Z-Boy and a big screen TV.

Near the back of the room there was a black felt pool table and a dart box that was obviously more for show than it was used, but impressive non-the-less.

I smiled at everyone as I descended the stairs.

"You're here!" Alice screeched, jumping up to give me a hug.

I giggled a little and squeezed her back before taking a seat next to Edward.

_Edward._

His smell assaulted me and I inhaled it greedily, taking in everything as I tucked my legs underneath me to get more comfortable.

He smiled at me. "So what'd you tell the Chief?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged.

Charlie knew I was here. He wasn't happy but he knew. He had told me to be careful and to be safe, and then gave me a stern look before shooing me out the door with one last piece of advice to have fun.

The thing about Charlie was that he just wanted me to have a normal childhood because in his eyes I grew up too fast, and maybe that was true. He didn't want to stop me from making mistakes, as long as I was responsible for my actions and learned from them.

"He knows I'm here, I didn't have to lie," I told him.

He looked shocked by that, obviously thinking I'd say I was going to Alice or Rosalie's for the night but I was an honest person, even if I didn't always share _everything_.

"He's not going to show up with his gun is he?" he whispered in mock fear.

I giggled at his antics. "Don't worry; he'd just aim for your foot or something equally painful without killing you. So you're safe." I smiled sweetly. His eyes widened and I laughed. "I'm only joking. No, he's not going to show up with his gun."

He sighed in relief which only added to my laughter.

"So what's the plan?" I asked everyone as I looked around.

All Edward had told me was we were all going to hang out, me being new; I didn't really know what that entailed here.

Alice smiled evilly. "How opposed is everyone to drinking tonight?" she asked, looking around.

I shrugged, from hanging out with Tanya and Kate I grew a high tolerance level to alcohol, all they ever did was party and all I ever wanted was to fit in.

As long as I didn't get shitfaced, it didn't matter to me.

No one disagreed, so Alice pulled out a quart of Smirnoff and six shot glasses. I was shocked, the kid comes prepared.

"So here's what we're going to do," she said as she filled up each one. "I'm sure everyone here knows the game 'Never Have I Ever' or 'Ten Fingers' or whatever you want to call it but here are the rules anyway." She handed each of us a glass. "One person says 'Never have I ever' and then adds something they haven't done, if you've done said thing, you take a shot." She shrugged. "Simple." We all nodded, it was a common drinking game and pretty straight forward. She beamed at us. "Okay me first." She tapped her bottom lip with her index finger as she thought. "Oh! Never have I ever seen or heard my parents having sex."

Edward and Emmett both cringed and took a shot.

I covered my mouth to muffle my laughter.

"Who goes?" Edward asked Alice.

She thought for a second. "We'll just go in a circle." She shrugged then gestured for Jasper to go.

He smiled at Emmett. "Never have I ever eaten the cafeteria's mystery meat."

The others snickered as Emmett scowled and poured himself another shot before quickly downing it.

"One time, I eat it one time," he muttered to himself.

The game went by quickly after that, everyone taking their turns asking questions and drinking.

Then it was my turn.

I didn't have anything ready so I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Never have I ever had sex in a car."

Emmett snickered and I ducked my head in embarrassment, feeling my face heat up but, to my utter surprise, everyone except Edward took a shot. I looked at him curiously but he just shrugged.

And then it was his turn.

He glanced at Rose quickly before chuckling to himself. "Never have I ever gotten a tattoo."

I gulped.

Rose turned to glare at Emmett who had shrunk back in his seat. "You told him?" she screeched before slapping the back of his head.

Edward chuckled quietly beside them.

"This had better not get back to my parents," she warned everyone, turning to glare at her brother who was raising his hands in surrender. She then picked up her shot glass and swiftly emptied it.

Right before I did the same.

Everyone looked at me expectantly.

I sighed and pulled the collar of my shirt down just enough for them to see part of the name scrawled in cursive writing by my heart.

I looked around.

Edward opened and closed his mouth a couple times before looking down at his hands.

He looked... sad?

Rosalie and Alice both gasped.

"How did we miss this?" Alice asked as she moved forward to get a better look.

I shrugged. It was the first week of April so the weather was still chilly and I tended to wear clothes that easily covered it up.

Out of sight; out of mind.

Or so they say.

I didn't like the tense atmosphere so I smiled at her to lighten the mood. "They get cold." I joked, gesturing my breasts.

Alice gave me a knowing look but graciously cracked a slight smile before going back to her seat.

I sighed in relief; I didn't want to talk about it so I was glad they weren't asking. I knew I would have to share everything someday but for now, they could assume what they wanted.

Emmett and Jasper were the only two that didn't get all serious after that. They thought it was cool that I had a tattoo and asked me all the basic questions like if it hurt, when I got it and how long it took, both carefully avoiding the 'who' and for that I was thankful.

I tried not to look at the other three.

The girls would both look at me sympathetically, and that tugged at my heart. I didn't need sympathy.

But Edward was what got me the most. When I looked back at him he was staring at me with such raw emotion I could feel his pain ricocheting on to me. I didn't understand why or where it was coming from, but I felt it and all I wanted to do was comfort him, to hold him, but this wasn't the time or the place so I shrugged off the nagging feeling and smiled sadly at him.

He looked back down at his hands.

Thankfully Alice broke the sudden silence that filled the room by suggesting we put in a movie. We all agreed and helped clean up the liquor as Alice pulled out _The Hangover_ from her bag; probably trying to bring back the carefree attitude from earlier. I smiled at her graciously as she put the movie in and turned off the lights.

As the movie started, I looked around.

Alice was on Jasper's lap on the La-Z-Boy, Rosalie and Emmett were curled up on the couch and Edward and I were both sitting stiffly on the loveseat as far away from each other as possible, which was about six inches.

I wanted so desperately to close the gap between us; my hand ached to touch his but he had to make the first move, I wasn't ready to just offer myself up yet.

I sighed when that moment never came.

As the movie went on neither of us moved other than the slightest shift and it was admittedly frustrating.

I would often peek to my side to see Edward's hands balled in fists, his jaw tight as he glared at the TV.

Was he mad at me?

We were getting along great when I got here.

Has he changed his mind since then?

Did I make him wait too long?

I frowned; it was only two weeks... had he already given up?

Throughout the entire movie I was going through a panic. I was breathing so hard I was sure the entire room could hear it but, thankfully, no one called me out.

When the movie ended, I was near tears but I knew better than to just assume, I couldn't let my mind get ahead of things.

The lights shined on and I stood up, stretching out my stiff muscles.

I looked over to Edward to see him doing the same. His shirt rose as he stretched his arms just enough to see the smallest sliver of his pale chest, the prominent V of his abs dipping down past the waistband of his jeans.

I swear I drooled a little.

He looked up to see me staring. I shook my head, fighting the inevitable blush and gulped.

"Well, that was interesting," I said referring to the movie.

He nodded silently and walked over to the pool table where Jasper and Emmett were racking up.

I sat back down and put my head in my hands, taking a few deep breaths.

"Bella?" I looked up to see Alice looking down at me, her face full of concern. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

I sighed. "Um, actually, I'm not really feeling well. I think I'm going to head home instead of spending the night," I told her sullenly.

I was really looking forward to this night, but maybe he wanted space.

She frowned but nodded anyways.

"If you're sure," she said softly. I smiled weakly and nodded. "Alright, are you okay to drive?" I nodded again.

I only had two shots before the game went downhill and the affects had worn off awhile ago so I was positive I would be fine.

I grabbed my bag and looked over to my friends; everyone looked so happy as they joked around and goofed off that I couldn't find it in me to intrude so I just walked up the stairs, Alice trailing behind me.

"Text me when you get home so I know you're not in a ditch somewhere," she demanded, giving me a hug goodbye.

I smiled. "I will. Tell everyone I'm sorry for leaving early?" I asked.

She nodded and smiled sadly at me. I knew she could see there was more behind my leaving than I led on, being as perceptive as she was, but luckily she didn't say anything.

I slipped on my shoes and shrugged into my coat before throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Have fun," I told her as I walked out the door and into the chilly night.

I drove home, praying that my truck didn't wake up Charlie and quietly snuck into the house; I wasn't ready for the questioning I was sure to get when he found me coming home early.

Carefully, I walked into the kitchen, grabbing myself a glass of water and took it up to my room.

I listened for any sounds of stir from Charlie and was pleased when all I was greeted with were the loud snores echoing through the house.

I set the glass down on the night table, put my bag on my bed and took out my phone before quickly sending Alice a text telling her I got home alive. Then, I changed into some sweats and a t-shirt before sliding into bed and staring at the roof.

I couldn't sleep yet, I was too anxious.

So I just stared and stared, thinking about anything and everything for what seemed like hours.

Everything I lost.

Everything I gained.

How everything changed.

I thought about what my life was now compared to what it used to be.

And as a single tear fell down my cheek, I slipped into the darkness.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Fuck me. Okay, I never plan out anything but the important things to put in a story. So this wasn't exactly planned, it just happened. But I'm pretty one hundred percent positive you'll love me again by next chapter, because we all know I like to solve the little problems as quickly as possible and not dwell on the unimportant. So, review, tell me what you think is going to happen, what's going on, what you like and don't like and all that jazz and I'll get to writing numero eighteen!

Love you all, no joke.

- Janicee.


	18. Idiot

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 18: Idiot**

**Edward Cullen**

The cold air fanned across my face as I stood in the night, staring up into the dark window, going over the only reasonable explanation I could think of.

I'm an idiot.

Ever since Bella agreed to come over on Sunday, besides when I had to be chauffeured around by my parents or when I was serving detention every day, I had been in a good mood.

Scratch that.

I had been in a _fantastic_ mood.

Friday was all I could think about. We were all going to chill and have a few drinks, maybe watch a movie or something, and then in the morning I was going to take Bella aside and ask her out on a real date because I didn't think I could just _not _be with her anymore. She was too damn tempting.

But if she still wanted to wait, I'd wait.

I just hoped to God she'd say 'yes'.

So when Friday came around I was elated. My parents were away, we had plenty of food stocked and I knew for a fact Alice was bringing booze, so we were all set.

Alice, Jasper and Rose all came over together around nine, walking right on in like they own the place.

Emmett grabbed some chips and we all went downstairs, Alice and Rose were talking quietly about something along the way.

"...And she had the nerve to tell people that my shoes were fake when I wore them on Thursday," Rose scoffed. "Did you see _her_ outfit?"

I shook my head. I never understood why girls cared so much about brand names; I mean... shoes are shoes. Who gives a fuck what's on the tag?

Alice frowned. "How many times do you have to kick Lauren's ass before she learns to shut up? I mean, her black eye still isn't completely faded yet. Was she looking for an encore?" She rolled her eyes.

This piqued my interest.

I turned to Rose. "That was you?" She nodded. "How did I not know this?" I asked her, not at all shocked.

Rose could take down half the _guys_ in school, let alone girls, not that Emmett would ever let any of them near her, but she was one scary motherfucker when she fought. I had no doubt that she could do some damage.

She shrugged. "I guess with the bus and all that nonsense it slipped my mind."

"When?" I squinted my eyes at her.

"Last weekend, when Alice and I took Bella shopping." She smiled.

_Bella._

"Oh." I nodded but my mind was already leaving this conversation and being used for far better things.

_Bella shopping. Bella trying on sexy lingerie. Bella wearing sexy lingerie in my bed..._

"I wonder why she looked so sad when she was talking about that guy." Alice sighed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

My head snapped over to her.

"What guy?" I narrowed my eyes.

"The boy who popped Bella's cherry," Rose snickered.

I growled. I mean, I literally fucking growled at her.

"What'd she say?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.

Rose smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Aw, are you jealous you didn't get there first?" she mocked.

She fucking hated the way I acted before Bella came, which wasn't too long ago, so she had no problem making me feel like shit for it.

I scoffed.

I wasn't jealous.

Of course Bella wasn't a virgin. I mean, look at her; she's gorgeous and sweet and smart and her eyes, oh _fuck _her eyes, and her smile and...

Fuck, I'm jealous.

I took a deep breath and glared at her. "You know it's not like that with her and no, I'm not. Now just tell me what the fuck she said," I demanded.

Alice sighed beside me. "She just told us about her first time. She said it was only three times with the same guy but she looked so sad when she talked about it that we just let the subject drop." She shrugged.

My fists clenched as I pictured some random guy with my – well, almost – Bella; Mike Newton's bitch ass face popping in my head.

Even in my subconscious, that fucker pissed me off.

Breathe, Cullen, so she's not a virgin.

Neither are you.

At least it wasn't with Newton; I shuddered.

Focus on the bright side.

She's still the same beautiful girl, with dark sexy eyes and a mouth that could verbally slap the shit out of you and piss you off and make you want her all at the same time. And I'm sure that's not all it could do...

And when she bites her lip or plays with her hair or that – sweet Jesus – _blush; _a chill ran down my spine.

'_Great_,' I thought bitterly. '_Now I'm fucking hard._'

_Think of Newton and Bella, Newton on Bella, Newton in..._

That did it.

The doorbell rang, pulling me out of the mess inside my head as Emmett jumped up to retrieve it.

My mind went back to Bella.

Her heart shaped face, her long mahogany hair that I could just wrap my fingers in, and her scent, good Lord her scent. A mixture of strawberries, a little cinnamon and when you got closer you could smell the faint scent of freesia. I could almost smell it now; I took a long, deep breath.

Wait, I _could_ smell it now.

I turned around to see Bella. It caught me off guard how close she was, fidgeting in her seat beside me.

She was beautiful, as always, wearing a small plain grey t-shirt that fit like a glove and some light ripped jeans that hugged her body the way I wanted to. I sighed and smiled at her.

_Say something you dipshit._

So I asked her if her father knew where she was because I was honestly wondering if I had to keep my doors locked, though I knew if the Chief wanted my ass I'd have to have a whole lot more between us than a couple of locked doors; especially when his daughter was concerned.

And then we flirted.

At least that's what it seemed like to me.

We joked around, laughing like two idiots while everyone else in the room did what–the fuck–ever, and I could have died and been happy because I put that smile on her face and I knew, I just knew, she was letting her guard down with me and that shit made me the happiest bastard in the world because that meant I'd get to keep her, and hold her, and kiss her; eventually.

And then it all went downhill from there.

Stupid Alice; I blame her for all my problems. The pixie had to start a drinking game.

It was fun at first, we all asked questions and drank accordingly but it hadn't even been six rounds when I asked that stupid question and she had to go and reveal that stupid tattoo of that stupid motherfucking name.

I was pissed. I was pissed because not even an hour earlier did I learn that some guy had taken her precious virginity from her, and she shows us _this_. She must have really loved him to have had his name permanently tattooed by her heart. I couldn't compete with that.

And then it all made since.

She was sad that she left him; whenever she talked about Phoenix she'd frown and avoid questions.

She _missed_ him.

And then I was pissed again because, even if I had no real reason, I wanted to kick the bastard in the face for stealing her heart away from me. I only wish I got to see the last name on the tattoo. Had she just pulled her shirt over a couple inches I would have had his whole name and could have booked a flight up to Phoenix, tracked him down, beat the shit out of him and been back for school on Monday.

I tried not to focus when everyone was asking Bella questions. I just glared at my hands as I made fists until I felt this pull, this nagging ridiculous pull, forcing me to look up and into those deep brown eyes and I melted.

She had a look of concern on her face, so I made myself promise to cool the fuck down as Alice suggested we throw in a movie.

So we all sat down in the dark and watched some ridiculous movie I stared at but never really watched because I was too busy holding myself back from touching the angel beside me, and that shit took a lot of effort on my part because she was not helping by sitting there looking as good as she did.

And then I got more stupid.

She tried to talk to me, she gave me an opening and I bitched out and ran away because I wasn't done processing in my slow mind that she had _loved_ before and it wasn't with me.

I didn't even get a fair shot.

So I went with the boys and we played pool and drank more while I tried not to look at Bella sitting on the couch with her head in her hands because it physically pained me. I frowned and, rather than being a man, nudged Alice instead and pointed to where she was so she'd get the hint to go talk to her. She glared at me and I knew where she was placing the blame, but relented and walked over.

After a few minutes of them talking and me sneaking glances, both girls walked up the stairs. I figured they just wanted some privacy to talk everything out, but when Alice walked back down looking like someone chucked a newborn puppy into oncoming traffic and Bella never came back; I got worried.

I handed my pool stick to Rosalie and told her to take over before walking up to Alice.

"What happened?" I asked urgently.

She glared at me and smacked the back of my head, hard.

"What the fuck, Alice?" I growled.

She narrowed her eyes. "She left."

"Why?" I sputtered; my eyes wide.

"Obviously you did something and I'm warning you right now that if she stops being my friend because of it, I'm telling Jessica Stanley where you hide your spare house key."

I gulped because I knew she was serious and that bitch was crazy. I'd probably wake up tied to the bed with her standing over me in all black leather and a whip. I let out a terrified shudder and shook my head.

"Fuck Alice, it's not supposed to happen like this. It was supposed to be fun and then I was supposed to ask her out, and she was supposed to say yes. How in the fuck did _that_ turn into her leaving?" I sighed, flopping down on the couch.

She sat down beside me.

"You got jealous," she said gently but accusingly. I nodded. "Edward, she has a past. So do you. Everyone does but you have to let that go. I know you like her or you would have given up already and went back to fucking anything with a hole." I glared at her until she raised her hands in surrender. "I'm just saying, go talk to her, explain why you ignored her like a dick and apologize." She shrugged, stood up and smoothed out her shirt.

I sat there for a little longer fidgeting.

I had to talk to her... _now_.

I quickly grabbed my coat, not even bothering to tell anyone where I was going, and booked it out the door towards my car.

Then I remembered I was semi-drunk.

So, I slowed down and did some mental calculation; it'd take the better part of an hour to get to Bella's house on foot. I took a deep breath and ran.

And ran.

And ran.

Until I was wheezing and choking on air and my legs hurt and my heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest.

But I kept running. I didn't stop until I saw the faded white paint of the Swan's house and rounded until I was under her window.

And then I collapsed.

My hands went to my knees as I doubled over gasping for air, sounding more like a dying animal than a human being.

When I finally calmed myself down enough to breath normally, I started to think about what'd I say and what she would think.

I had nothing. I kept running my hands through my hair. I probably stayed out there pacing the side of her yard for good half an hour before I built up the courage to search for rocks.

And that's how I got to this point.

I peered up into the dark window, a bunch of pebbles in my shaky hand as I went over everything in my head.

And the only conclusion I had come up with was that I was an idiot.

It all added up.

So, figuring that's who I was by nature, I threw caution to the wind and a rock at her window.

It bounced off with a _plunk_.

I took a deep breath and chucked another.

And another.

And another.

Until all the rocks in my hand were gone and I had to search for more.

She never came to the window, so she was obviously asleep.

'_Or ignoring you_,' I thought with a frown.

I shook my head and thought; the rocks were too little to make enough noise to wake her up, any bigger and they'd crack the window and if I screamed, I'd wake the Chief.

I leaned against the tree, running my hands viciously through my hair.

_Think. Think. Think._

"Ow!" I turned my arm around to where I scratched it on the bark. It was trickling blood but other than that it was harmless. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and wiped the cut before turning around and glaring at the tree.

The whole fucking world was against me tonight.

And then I smiled as a plan formed in my head.

I grabbed a branch and pulled myself up before grabbing another.

By the time I reached the top, I had a newfound respect for Bella; that shit was hard work.

I stood on the roof and tried to catch my breath.

And then I saw her.

She was curled up underneath the covers, one hand under the pillow and the other over. She looked so peaceful that my plan evaporated; I didn't want to wake her up. So I sat down and just watched her for awhile, wondering if we'd ever be just that; 'we'.

I sighed as the rain began to poor, stood up and stared at the sky. "Just can't catch a break." I muttered before turning around and taking a step toward the tree.

It all happened so fast.

My foot slipped from under me and I fell grabbing a hold of the window sill as my body landed on the roof with a loud thump. I hissed in pain and glared back up to the sky.

"I didn't mean literally," I growled.

"'Literally' what?" a small voice replied.

I gulped, shaking my head a little and peeked up to the now open window.

There she stood in all her glory; her hair was in a messy bun, her eyes were swollen with sleep and she was wearing a baggy shirt and old sweats but she was still beautiful. I smiled meekly at her.

"Uh, nothing?"

She laughed and shook her head. "What are you doing here? I mean, if you're trying to get shot you're definitely going about it the right way, though it'd probably be easier if I just knocked on Charlie's door and handed him his gun."

I scratched the back of my neck and stood back up, being careful this time not to slip.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I just, why'd you leave?" I frowned at myself because I was pretty sure I already knew it was because of me.

She sighed. "Here, come in. Didn't anyone ever tell you it was unsafe to be out on a roof when it's raining?" she asked playfully.

I shrugged. "In my defence, it wasn't raining when I climbed up here."

She laughed and took my hand, helping me through the window. Then she walked over to her door, shut it all the way and turned the lock.

When she saw me looking she shrugged. "Just in case Charlie wakes up, he won't come in and see you."

I nodded in understanding and stared awkwardly around the room.

You could tell it had been awhile since she redecorated. Everything looked like it was for a child much younger then she was.

The walls were painted a light yellow, and the ceiling was white. She had a twin size bed and a matching dresser, an old desk clad with a laptop that seemed to be the only thing up to date.

But everything seemed so 'Bella' even if it was a younger version, and that made me smile.

"Uh, here," Bella's voice pulled me out of my observation and I looked down to see her holding a large pair of grey sweatpants. I tilted my head in confusion. "Your clothes are soaked," she explained.

I looked down at myself, dripping wet and felt a light tinge of pink spread across my face.

"Sorry I don't have a shirt that would fit you."

"Oh, um, it's okay. Thanks," I replied lamely.

She turned around so I could change, even though it didn't really bother me either way.

I quickly shed my wet clothes and pulled the sweat pants over my boxers. "Okay."

She turned around and blushed when she saw me shirtless. "I'll be right back." She grabbed my clothes and went downstairs.

A few minutes later I heard the faint sound of the dryer going and footsteps up the stairs. She came back in and locked the door again, moving to sit on her bed before gesturing for me to do the same.

"So, why were you on my roof?" she asked bashfully.

I laughed and shook my head, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse.

'_Just tell her the truth_,' a voice that sounded suspiciously like Alice said, bouncing around in my head.

I sighed, _here goes_. "I came to apologize. I chucked rocks at your window like before and when you didn't answer I figured you were asleep so, I climbed up so I could knock without waking the Chief." I took a deep breath. "But you looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you so I turned to leave, but it had already started raining by then and I slipped and well, yeah." I shrugged.

She looked at me, confused.

"What do you have to apologize for?" she asked, her brows scrunching together as she thought.

_So adorable._

"For getting jealous and angry for no reason and basically ignoring you." I let my head drop, ashamed of myself.

"Jealous?" she asked quietly.

I nodded.

"Alice and Rose told me about that guy you were with in Phoenix, and when I saw your tattoo, I just..." I sighed. "I don't know; I just got really jealous. I really like you, and the thought of you being with someone else hurt." I had never felt so vulnerable. I never had to put myself out there like I did with Bella and though it was terrifying, it felt good to let go of the façade and be honest.

She laughed, it wasn't at me, or even at something funny, it was bitter and that confused me.

"Bella?" I asked softly as I saw a tear fall down her face. "What's wrong?" I lifted my hand to brush it away.

She shook her head, looking down at her hands as if she was trying to decide something.

Finally, she sighed. "Edward, you have nothing to be jealous about. The guy I was with, I thought I loved him, but I don't. I never did and," She took a deep breath and looked me square in the eyes. "I really like you too."My breath caught; I was euphoric. "But," My heart sunk. "I need you to know what you're getting yourself into." She closed her eyes as another tear escaped. "He wasn't my boyfriend, Edward," her voice was hollow, almost void of all emotion.

I looked at her, confused as to what she meant or who she was talking about but waiting patiently for her to explain.

She took a shaky breath and pulled the collar of her shirt down so I could see the entire tattoo.

'_Aiden James Swan'._

"He was my son."

_Well, shit. _

**

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Author's Note:** Like I said, I only plan the important parts like, for example, the fact she had a son. I never meant to reveal it here but whatever. It was cute. Next chapter you get the whole story, perhaps.

Before I get flamed, and people get pissed. This is how the story is and has always been. I think I did pretty well with trying to ease you guys into it without giving too much away. If you don't believe me go back and read it over because the foreshadowing is there. Ask if you need specifics.

I love you all, and hope you don't hate me.

- Janicee.


	19. Bella's Past

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 19: Bella's Past**

**Bella Swan**

Little sounds on my window woke me up. I looked over, waiting to see a rock fly up and hit it but nothing did. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I wanted Edward so bad I was imagining things; pathetic.

I rubbed my forehead trying to rid myself of the dull ache behind my eyes as I wallowed in self pity. It felt like now that I finally figured out what it was that I wanted, it was being taken away from me.

Once again.

Thoughts of my past crept up on me, but instead of feeling the regular hatred I held for James, I just felt indifferent. And now looking back, that's the way it always should have been.

James didn't deserve the passion that came with hate.

I inwardly cringed at how much of myself I lost because of him, because of something cruel and fake.

He took advantage of the fact that I thought I loved him. But I knew that something was always off, something in my head that told me it wasn't right. That he wasn't right. He wasn't _the one_.

But, I convinced myself that I was lucky he wanted me, that I couldn't do any better and I should be happy that he even noticed me at all. I _made_ myself want him.

In all truths; James was a dick. He'd act sweet when he wanted something but other than that he was always indifferent. We'd never hold hands, he wouldn't be affectionate around his friends, and I never came first.

I was oblivious.

The only times he ever seemed like he cared at all was when we were sexual. He'd throw me lines like how beautiful I was or how he'd never hurt me. I scoffed; that was all he ever did in the long run.

I was better off without him, I knew this now. I wasn't blinded by infatuation, because that's what it was; infatuation. It was _never_ love.

I sighed and closed my eyes with that last thought and felt myself drift back into a restless sleep.

_Thump._

I sat up quickly, looking around.

'_What was that?_' I thought as I stood up out of bed.

I walked towards the window, peering into the night and saw... bronze hair?

I quickly opened the window and felt my jaw drop.

Edward.

"I didn't mean literally," he growled, scowling at the sky.

I giggled quietly.

"Literally what?" I asked, looking down at him as I raised my brow in question.

He looked up at me with wide eyes and a slacked jaw but, I mean, if I was caught lurking on someone's roof by said person I'd probably look the same, plus ten shades of red.

We talked for a minute before I finally realized he was still on my roof, in the rain, and helped him in.

I went to my drawer as he looked around and picked out a pair of Charlie's old sweatpants I used to sleep in for him to wear. He was confused at first, so I explained and when understanding dawned on him the cutest tinge of pink covered his otherwise pale features.

And then I saw his glorious chest and ran out of the room as quickly as my feet would take me; without tripping.

I brought his clothes downstairs to the laundry room, some of my clothes were still in the dryer so I just chucked his in with mine not even caring that the mud from his clothes would dirty mine again, and started it back up.

I took a deep breath by the door.

"Come on Bella," I pushed, "you can do this."

I scoffed to myself; it's not like the boy I currently liked was in my bedroom, past midnight and shirtless right now or anything. I rolled my eyes and quietly, as to not wake Charlie, walked back up to my room, closing and locking the door behind me before taking a seat on my bed and gesturing Edward to do the same.

And then it got really quiet so I asked him, again, why he was up on my roof. Because – not that it sucked or anything – I thought it was a legitimate question considering the circumstances.

When he started to explain, I was pleased to find that I wasn't crazy after all and he _was _throwing rocks at my window. Then I berated myself for not getting up to check and save him the trouble of braving _The Tree of Death_.

'_But then he wouldn't be sitting here shirtless_,' I pondered.

That was a very good point so I let the matter drop.

And then he apologized.

I was confused. Was he apologizing for being here? Ignoring me perhaps? Or was he just saying it to say it and didn't have the slightest clue as to why?

So I asked.

He said it was because he was jealous and I kept thinking 'what exactly would he be jealous of?'

_James._

I knew the minute I even answered Rose and Alice that day it was a mistake, I sighed.

He thought I loved James.

And then I laughed, because even that thought was ridiculous now. I was such an idiot to think I had loved him, someone who was only out to fuck me over, literally. I felt an angry tear escape my eye and before I could, Edward's thumb swiped it away.

Edward was good. He made mistakes, but I could feel that he really cared. It was so much different than the empty longing I felt for James, the hole in my chest that was always there. I felt whole around Edward, however lame that may sound and he needed to know that.

So I reassured him that I never loved James, that he was nothing to me anymore. Then, I told Edward that I cared too, and that I liked him because he really put his feelings on the line and was honest with me and he deserved the same; honesty.

I frowned, thinking about all that I kept to myself; I had to tell him eventually, it was a pretty big secret. So if I told him now and he walked away, at least it wouldn't hurt as much. At least I wouldn't have to repair too much damage, though I knew that if Edward walked away now, it would hurt a thousand times more than it ever did when James left.

I closed my eyes, praying for him to stick this out; to let me explain after I told him. I did my best to keep my tears at bay, but a few slipped without my permission and each time he'd gently wipe it away.

_He needs to know. He needs to know. He needs to know._

I took a deep breath, and cleared my mind of all my thoughts. I had to stay strong, get the words out and not think about what they meant. "He wasn't my boyfriend, Edward." I opened my eyes to see his confused ones. I took a shaky breath before tugging the collar of my shirt down so he could see the name written in the beautiful elegant script by my heart. "He was my son."

Edward's eyes snapped back to mine, his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion like he was waiting for me to yell 'got cha!' and tell him I made it all up.

I shrugged and closed my eyes, cursing the tears that fell.

"Y-your son?" he sputtered.

Keeping my eyes closed I nodded.

I felt the bed shift and my heart tugged at the thought of him leaving already, but not a second later was he pulling me into his arms.

"What happened Bella?" he asked soothingly but all I could think was, _'he's not running away, he's still here'._

For now.

"I have to start at the beginning," I said through silent tears. "And i-if you don't want m-me anymore, I'll completely u-understand." I hiccupped.

He shook his head 'no', looking pained. "Bella, I just ran like an hour through the woods, paced your lawn for another half an hour, climbed your ridiculous tree and almost fell off your roof. I want you," he said firmly.

I didn't respond but instead took a deep breath and launched into my story, "I met James the summer before junior year, at a party." I took a shaky breath and let it out. "I was never, um, popular so when he talked to me I was elated, I mean, he was good looking and people liked him so why would he want me, you know?" He frowned but didn't say anything. "We started to date shortly after, it was good I guess. I had nothing to compare it to so I figured it was just how it was." I sighed. "His friends were all into partying and skipping school and just 'living life' I guess, and I got sucked into that life. I drank a lot, and partied with everyone, just trying to fit in. My grades were slipping, I was getting into fights with my mom – which I never do – and I was just all around sinking." My leg was bouncing uncontrollably and I paused, trying to calm myself down.

"My mom wanted me to break it off with James, saying that he was the reason for my downfall and that I was so much better than him, better without him. But I wouldn't let myself believe it, I held him high up on this pedestal thinking I was in love." I scoffed and shook my head. "He wanted to have sex, but I didn't. I wanted it to mean something and it just didn't feel right. Well five months into the relationship –" Edward stiffened beside me.

"He didn't... you know?" he whispered, looking pained.

I shook my head 'no'.

"No, it was consensual." I laughed bitterly. "He kept spewing lines and I eventually caved. We ended up doing it up in his room on Christmas with his parents downstairs. It was quick and painful and it left nothing to be desired." I rolled my eyes and took another deep breath. "There were two other times; one was the morning after. He had said that now that the seal was broken it wouldn't hurt as much, I was reluctant but relented anyways not wanting to upset him. I was still tender and it hurt but I didn't complain." I twisted the gold ring on my middle finger looking anywhere but at Edward. "The other time was on New Years. We were both drunk; we were both stupid and we were both careless." I closed my eyes as Edward started to rub gentle circles on my back. "The day before school started again, he called me up and said 'we're over' before hanging up. That's it, a two second call. That's all I got after five months in a relationship with him, if it could even be called that." I tried to laugh but it came out more like a choking sound. "I tried calling him back but it kept going to voicemail. When I saw him at school the next day he avoided me like the plague, he wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't even look me in the eye." I took another deep breath. "So, I got angry and lashed out at teachers and other students – anyone – for the better part of a month until I just cried and mourned and eventually started to see his faults." I ran my hand through my hair.

"I started doing better in school, slipping back into my 'invisible' routine, but because I was so depressed before it didn't even faze me when my period was late." Edward's arm stopped moving for a split second before it quickly started up again. "I started getting sick, migraines, I was tried all the time but didn't think much of it until my mom convinced me to see a doctor." I felt a warm tear fall down my cheek, but didn't move to brush it away. "I was six weeks pregnant and terrified." I laughed through my tears.

"_Ms. Swan?" the doctor addressed me as she came back into the room holding a thick manila envelope._

_I nodded, biting my lip as I prepared myself for what she was about to tell me. _

"_Your results are back from the blood work, it shows HCG, just as I suspected." I furrowed my brows, confused. "Ms. Swan, you're pregnant," she said lightly. _

_I stared at the middle aged woman in shock. "H-how do you know, I mean, are you sure?" I asked nervously. _

_The doctor smiled kindly at me. "Yes, but don't worry, there are a lot of options if you don't want to – or can't – keep your baby. Abortion is, of course, one but not something you should take lightly. Plus, there is always adoption if you'd prefer," she told me gently. "A lot of young mothers go through this shock, it's scary but there are people all around you to support and help with whatever choice you make." She opened the folder and handed me a few colorful papers. "All the information you'll need to make an informed decision is there, but for now I need to run some more tests, to make sure the baby's healthy. Would you like to call anyone to be here with you? Now I have to warn you that because you are a minor, by law I have to inform your guardian. But, if you'd wish, you could call whomever now and have them come and we could all talk together." _

That whole day was surreal; Renée came as soon as I called her and the doctor helped smooth out the rough patches. I told her who that father was and she held me as I cried, never once making me feel bad about anything. She told me to do whatever I thought was best, that she'd support me either way. Then, we ran through all the tests and I got to see my baby for the very first time.

I knew then that abortion was out of the picture.

My lips curved up a little at the memory but quickly fell as I moved on. "I tried to tell him – James I mean – a bunch of times but I could never find the nerve. I was so scared but I knew he had a right to know. So, one day I marched into the school determined to find him and when I did, he was with a girl who was supposed to be my friend. I was getting morning sickness pretty badly around then and nausea kicked in so I ran to the bathroom and into one of the stalls." I grimaced and felt another tear fall down my cheek. "When I was in there, I overheard that girl and another come in and start talking about me and how the whole thing – me being with James – was just a bet as to how long it would take before he could 'pop my cherry'." I looked up to Edward then, a fierce determination in my voice. "I made my decision then that I was going to keep the baby, that I'd never let anyone hurt it. I never wanted them to feel pain like that." I looked back down, ashamed.

"After I cleaned myself up, I went to look for James. I searched for him the whole day praying that he'd be there for his kid, no matter how much of a joke I was. I finally found him at the end of the day standing with a bunch of his friends and just got it all out, I told him I was pregnant and I was keeping the baby; you know what he told me?" More tears spilled as I shook my head. "He said, 'I'm not surprised your pregnant, you're the biggest whore in school' and walked away while his friends laughed. He was the only person I ever slept with." Edward quietly soothed me, telling me it was okay, but I had to keep up my composure or else I'd never be able to tell the whole story. "I hated him so much, but I just wanted him to love the baby. I didn't want him to not have his father." My voice cracked a little and I looked back down at my hands.

"I was going on my twenty-fourth week when I doubled over in pain. I had been getting cramps more than usual but my doctor told me I was fine. I knew, though, that something was wrong this time and hollered for my mom to take me to the hospital." I was officially numb. My hearing was clouded and I could barely hear my own voice as I replayed everything in my head. "I was in the hospital for a week while the doctors tried everything they could to stop me from going into labor." Silent tears crawled down my face but I kept my voice void.

"He was so tiny when he was born and I remember the room being so quiet despite there being so many people. He never cried, he died before anyone even had the chance to save him." I closed my eyes, my mind reeling. "They let me hold him, to say goodbye to this little boy I never got to know, his skin was almost see-through he was so pale. They said he was only a pound and fourteen ounces at close to five months." I took a deep breath and smiled weakly up at Edward. "I had just found out that he was a boy not too long before and chose the name Aiden James. I thought that maybe if James knew that I gave him his name, he'd want him too." I glared down at my hands. "James didn't even come to the funeral. I don't think he even cared; to be honest. It was his son too and I don't think he shed a single tear at the loss, he was probably relieved." I shuddered in disgust and Edward held me closer.

"What made you come here?" he asked softly in my hair.

I closed my eyes and relaxed more into his embrace.

"I tried to go back to school after the summer," I explained. "It was horrible. There were so many rumors about me being a whore or a slut, they'd say I made up the fact that I was pregnant or did so many drugs that I killed him. They were relentless. James' new girlfriend even cornered me one day and told me to leave. At that time, it didn't seem like such a bad idea." I exhaled and closed my eyes. "I didn't want all the reminders of what I had lost, you know? I wanted a fresh start. Plus my mom had just gotten remarried the year before and needed space, all the drama around me was taking a toll on her so, I just packed up everything I cared to bring and flew out a few days later." I shrugged, though I was dying inside.

The pain of losing Aiden was still fresh in my mind. I hadn't talked to anyone but Renée about it, besides my guidance counsellor, and Charlie only knew from her. It hurt to even think about it.

"I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that Bella," he said quietly as he pulled me into his lap and held me tighter. "So sorry," he murmured as he stroked my hair.

And then I lost it.

I cried and cried, gripping his chest and just letting it all out, not even worrying about waking my dad in the next room. I cried for everything. I cried for my son.

And Edward just held me, whispering soothing words and occasionally humming.

He was there for me.

When I felt myself finally calming down a half an hour later we were repositioned on my bed, cuddled together. It didn't feel weird, or too soon, or inappropriate at all; it felt right.

"You know that first day we met?" he whispered as he played with my hair. "You were drawing a bird, with its wings to the air."

"The Phoenix." I nodded and cleared my throat. "I usually draw that whenever I'm thinking about him. I like to think that he isn't really gone, but was just re-born into a better life." I closed my eyes.

That was what I hoped. If he was born to better people, more suited to be parents than a scared little seventeen year old girl, then he was at least happy and that made me happy because deep down, I really don't think I could have given him what he needed. I'd love him and raise him the best I could, but I was way too young no matter how determined.

So, thinking back now, would he have really been happy with me?

I yawned; after everything that had happened, I was spent. I just wanted this night to be over so I could fall back into the blissful routine I'd set up and not have to think about it anymore.

Edward, seeming to sense my fatigue, started to hum the same tune as before. The melody was beautiful and calming, the tune pulling me in until I was consumed by the darkness.

And dreams of a little boy.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** I'm nervous for this chapter. I hope you guys like it and don't, you know, hate it. But if you do, you do.

There's still stuff left unsaid, but at this point, it had been almost a year since Aiden died. He was born June 6th and we're around a week into April.

By the way, Bella grieved him, but she's still in a state of shock, almost numb trying not to think about it. Also, keep in mind that she's only eighteen – now – and everyone acts differently.

So... thoughts?

- Janicee.


	20. I'm Still Here

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 20: I'm Still Here**

**Edward Cullen**

Bella and I lay next to each other on her bed. She had been asleep for close to an hour, but I just _couldn't_. I couldn't stop thinking about what in the fuck had just happened.

She had a son.

_Had_ a son.

Meaning; not anymore.

The first thing my eighteen year old, male brain told me the very second she uttered those words was '_run'_.

'_Too much, too much, too much,' _it cried, sending a message to my feet to get the fuck out of there and as quick as humanly possible, if not quicker.

But, I just...couldn't.

I looked down at Bella, curled all up on me with her head resting on my chest and all I could do was smile and think 'so what'.

So what if she had a son.

Alice's words swam around in my head; _'She has a past. So do you. Everyone does but you have to let that go.'_

And it was as easy as that.

It's not like I was going to completely ignore it or just shrug it off but I wouldn't let it ruin what we potentially had. I won't center us around it.

Because I wanted 'us'.

I wasn't lying to her when I told her that I wanted her. And when she looked me in the eye and gave me an out, my heart tugged it hurt so much to see. Choking on air, I put on a brave face and cleared up that nonsense pronto.

And I wanted Bella now just as much, if not more, as before.

She was perfect despite what she had to go through, or what she thinks, because that old saying 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' says so.

She was obviously strong to have gone through such heartache and months of torture from childish bastards who have defiantly made my hit list tonight.

This James fucker being at the very top, highlighted and underlined.

She told me everything and barely even cried throughout the entire story, and it was long. She just shed a few tears here and there when necessary. I was baffled by her strength. I won't even lie;_ I_ even cried a little for her because, _fuck_, it was sad. But, even though I could see how much she was hurting from the pained look in her eyes, her voice remained void, almost robotically and her eyes dry; for the most part. It wasn't until the very end did she let it all out.

I could tell she didn't talk about it a lot, or even at all, it was obvious.

But, that had to change.

I knew she was grieving, and the way she looked at it may have something to do with how little time she had to come to terms with the fact that she was even pregnant to begin with, or maybe it only being roughly five months when it all happened, but it couldn't be healthy to not let yourself _feel._

I'm no Dr. Phil or Oprah or whatever but I knew she at least needed to talk about it, to get it out there and mourn properly.

Bella sighed in my arms, snuggling closer to me and I smiled down at her.

God gave this amazing creature a shitty hand; I looked up and scowled.

I needed a plan. This was obviously a big reason for her trust issues and not being ready to date me. But, that must have changed a little in order for her to share so much? And she did say she wanted me to 'know what I was getting myself into' that had to mean _something._

I hope.

I thought back to before she fell asleep and tugged at my hair as I remembered her tears, each one ripping a new hole in my heart as I watched her fall apart and had no idea how to fix her.

That was when I knew that I'd do anything.

I didn't know where it came from or why I thought to vocalize but humming her song seemed to calm her down a little while she cried. So after, as she lay in my arms, I hummed quietly and minutes later her breathing grew deeper and her eyes dropped closed.

I felt proud that I brought her some sort of peace tonight, even if it was in her dreams, and made a promise to myself to play it for her on the piano sometime.

And maybe even record it so she could listen to it when I wasn't there.

_Jesus fuck, was I always this corny?_

And then Bella mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep and I looked down, not even attempting to hide the puppy-love grin that graced my face because she was so fucking adorable. Then suddenly I didn't even care if I was corny or not because the only thing that mattered was _Bella_.

I just wanted her to smile.

Christ, I'm already pussy-whipped and I don't even _have_ the girl yet; officially.

That was the first thing that was going to change.

Bella and I were going on a motherfucking date, even if I had to sic Alice on her to get her dressed and come drag her away.

I'd do it, too.

I had no shame.

I twirled a piece of Bella's hair between my fingers as I felt my eyes grow heavy. Taking a quick second to thank God and whatever genius invented _the lock_, I let myself fall into a dreamless sleep.

--

"Edward?" I heard as someone started to shake me. I was just about to whack a bitch when a loud knocking sound came from the door.

I groaned and opened an eye to see what in the fuck was going on, and that was when I realized that I was not in my bedroom but in fact Bella's. I smiled a little as I looked over to her and took in her dishevelled, freshly woken appearance before the loud rapping at the door brought me back to reality.

"Bella? Are you in there?" a voice that I could only assume was the Chief's called through the door.

My eyes widened as I looked over to Bella, who looked just as panicked.

"Uh, yeah Charlie, just a minute," she hollered back as she glanced quickly around her room.

Her eyes froze at the closet before she practically tossed me off the bed and shoved me in.

Shit, she was strong.

I looked through the little crack in the door as she let him in.

"Good morning Dad," she said in a way-too-happy-for-the-morning voice.

He looked at her curiously.

"Uh, morning." The middle aged man scratched the back of his neck as he glanced around her room suspiciously. "I thought you were staying at that Edwin boy's house last night with your friends," he asked.

I didn't know whether to be shocked because she really _did_ tell her dad that she was staying over at my house, pissed because he called me 'Edwin' or scared shitless that I'm hidden in his daughter's closet.

His eyes stopped for a split second in my direction and I gulped.

Scared.

Definitely scared.

Bella didn't even look fazed when she told her dad that she had come home early because of a headache, which he quickly accepted and turned to go after telling her that he was leaving for work.

She sighed as the sound of his footsteps and the front door opening and closing echoed through the house.

I opened the closet door and stepped out, walking cautiously over to her.

"That was close." I grinned sheepishly.

She looked up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen and I could have sworn I heard my heart crack.

I quickened my pace and pulled her into my arms.

I didn't care if she was my girl yet or not, she needed to be held.

So that's what I did.

But she didn't cry, not one tear as I held her. She had cried herself out last night and was just exhausted and overwhelmed.

I tugged her over to her bed and sat her down on my lap.

She took a few deep breaths and looked up at me with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"You stayed," she whispered.

I looked down at her and smiled. "Where else would I go?"

Bella left her room shortly after that to shower and do whatever other girly shit girls do in the morning and told me to just do whatever.

I walked downstairs, scanning around the small home not knowing exactly what to do in this sort of situation.

I had never stayed over at a girl's house before. It was usually just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am and I'd be on my way, post-coital smile intact.

But this was infinitely different.

Bella and I didn't fuck or even fool around. We didn't even kiss. But that was by far the most intimate I had ever felt with another person.

She had bared her soul to me, sharing a part of her that only a select few knew the whole story to. And I held her as she cried; something I thought I'd never do.

So what exactly do you do the morning after?

I thought about making her breakfast but dismissed that idea pretty quickly considering I can't cook for shit.

And then because I'm the most brilliant motherfucker to have graced this small and shitty town, an idea hit me like a light bulb over the head of some cartoon character.

I'd just take her out for breakfast.

It was perfect; I just got my car back from bus-punishment and everything.

Except... my car wasn't here.

Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

And I definitely didn't trust any of those probably-still-drunk-and-have-no-clue-I-even-left fuckers at my house to drive my car here so someone would need to pick me up to get it.

Goddamn.

I pulled out my phone to text Alice because she would most likely be the only one awake.

She texted me back almost instantly telling me I had better not of fucked up and that she'd be here soon.

Satisfied, I walked back up the stairs just as Bella stepped out of the bathroom.

I inwardly groaned. Her hair was damp and curly and was falling down her white bra-less beater, and her tight blue jeans hugged each and every curve perfectly. I had to discreetly check if I was drooling or not.

And then another thing occurred to me, and I quickly diverted my thoughts to what Emmett looks like when he eats _Sloppy Joes_ so my, uh, problem wouldn't be noticed through the sweats I was wearing.

Note to self; always wear jeans around Bella. No matter how painful and uncomfortable; do it.

Shit, my thoughts were so not appropriate considering her emotional state at the moment. I shuddered a little and then snapped myself out of it so I could talk.

I cleared my throat. "Uh, Alice is going to pick me up, I'm going to get a shower and get my car but I thought we could go out for breakfast after? Or lunch?" I spoke nonchalantly but my eyes were pleading.

'_Please say yes, please trust me,'_ they said.

I didn't care how slow we took it, as long as there was progress.

She bit her lip, a faint pink blush crawling across her face while my impatient ass kept shifting my weight on each foot as she thought, trying not to show that I was dying in anticipation. She smiled at me a little and nodded slightly; suddenly shy.

I beamed at her. I wanted to keep her forever.

"So, um, how about I come back in an hour or so and we'll go up to Port Angeles or something?" I asked.

An hour was good; not too needy, but shows you're interested.

Again, Bella nodded. Her blush darkened as she looked down at her feet, quietly excusing herself.

Bella went downstairs quickly and grabbed my clothes, which were still muddy from my quest to get here last night but at least dry, and I changed in the bathroom.

When I got out, I opened my mouth to say something before the obnoxious sound of Alice's horn interrupted me.

I wanted to strangle her.

Apparently texting or calling me would have been far too difficult.

I gritted my teeth and said 'bye' to Bella.

We did this little awkward dance shuffle thing and I waved goodbye like I wasn't going to see her in an hour anyway, and left.

Alice was bouncing up and down on her seat when I got to the car.

I opened the passenger side and slid in before I slowly turned to glare.

"In what way was honking the horn a good idea whatsoever?" I asked the midget.

For all she, or any of the nosy bystanders around here, knew I could have been sneaking out. Drawing attention to that was just fucking stupid. Especially in a small town, and double that when it involves anything to do with the Chief.

"Spill," she said, completely ignoring me or my attitude.

I rolled my eyes. "Need to know, pixie. It's between me and Bella." I was not going to betray Bella's trust the day after she bestowed it upon me.

Alice did this little pout thing where her eyes watered and she looked like she was really going to cry but that shit never worked on me and she knew it, so she glared at me, turned on the ignition and drove off towards my house.

The very second she parked the car I was out and into the house to get ready.

I hopped into the shower and scrubbed myself like I hadn't seen water in years and jumped out in like five minutes, drying myself off. I wrapped the towel around my waist and trudged back into my bedroom to grab some clothes.

To my complete and utter annoyance, but not surprise, Alice had snuck into my room while I was showering and laid me out an outfit on my bed.

If I wasn't ridiculously relieved, I'd be pissed.

I threw on the clothes that she picked and, because I seemed to have lost my man card, checked myself out in the mirror.

She had me in some dark navy blue jeans and a regular tight black t-shirt to go with my black leather jacket.

I nodded in approval as I turned around to get a different angle.

When that was all done, I glanced at my watch only to find out it had only been fifteen minutes.

Well, shit.

Now I had like, forever to wait.

I sat down, drumming my fingers along my outer thigh as I glanced around my room.

_What to do, what to do. _

It was around eight and the house was still asleep.

_Was life always this boring and slow when Bella wasn't around?_

The thought of Bella made me smiled.

And then I remembered that I'm up at fucking eight o'clock in the morning.

_Not pleased._

Fucking Chief.

Glancing at my watch again I realized that I had killed a grand total of exactly three minutes; Jesus father clock Christ, time was ticking slowly.

I stood up from my desk chair and walked downstairs.

When I got there I noticed that Alice had settled herself back into Jasper's arms on the couch.

_How cute. _

I walked up and kicked his leg, which was conveniently hanging off of the armrest; startling Jasper and causing both of them to fall off the couch with a loud _thump_.

I smiled; two in one.

"What the _fuck_, Cullen?" Jasper screamed as he rubbed his chest where Alice had landed.

I laughed at them as they tried to untangle themselves from each other and the blanket.

"I come and pick you up this morning and this is what I get?" Alice huffed.

I rolled my eyes and flopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote and flicking the TV on.

"I need to kill time, any ideas?" I asked, ignoring her as she continued to rant on about 'no gratitude' and how much of a 'selfish, egotistical, jackass-tard' I was.

I was fairly sure she made that last one up.

"How about you go find a way to remove that giant stick up your ass and let us sleep?" Jasper chimed in as he sat up, leaning back on the couch.

"Shut it, Hale." I scowled.

Alice got up off the floor and sat down next to me. "Killing time for what?" she asked.

I pretended to be interested in the screen as I flicked through the channels, scanning through the mix of news, baby cartoons and infomercials but couldn't stop my lips from turning up into that smirk they were so accustomed to.

Alice gasped. "You... but... how, I thought... Jesus Edward, how could you not tell me you had a date? I thought you fucked her." She glared at me.

"Wait." Jasper shook his head. "How did you get... never mind. Just, never mind." He grabbed the blanket before settling himself on the floor and closing his eyes.

I ignored Jasper's mild intrusion and turned to Alice. "Because I told you it was 'need to know' and you didn't. And, before you ask, no I didn't _fuck_ her. I wouldn't do that to Bella, and I sure as hell wouldn't skip out in the morning if I did." I looked at her pointedly as she tilted her head to the side in a question that needn't be asked. "We talked, I stayed over and her dad almost caught me in her room, with the door locked. I called you because I didn't have my car. I'm taking her out for breakfast in –" I glanced at my watch, "– twenty-five minutes."

Her mouth opened in the form of an 'O' as she slowly nodded, showing me that she caught on.

Finally.

And then she gasped again and stood up.

"Why didn't she call me? I have to help her get ready. This is like, best friend bonding time. She can't deprive me of that. Just wait until I talk to her," she grumbled as she made her way to the stairs.

I jumped up quickly to follow, effectively tripping over Jasper.

"Shit!" I yelled as I hit the ground, hard.

I looked over.

Fucking Jasper didn't even wake up.

I hauled myself up, limping a little where I landed on my leg, and rushed to the door just as Alice peeled out of the driveway.

Alice was supposed to be incentive to come on a date. I already had one so I didn't need her.

And now, because I'm an idiot who was bored and just had to slip up and mention said date to Alice, I had nothing to do once again; and probably for hours.

I frowned and glanced around the empty house, returning to the drumming on my thighs.

_What to do, what to do..._

**

* * *

Author's Note: **Okay, they will have a serious talk on their 'date' but right now, Edward's just happy he has one. And really, I needed to cool off from the last chapter and let those details simmer before throwing in a bunch more.

Remember, Edward's an eighteen year old boy with a crush, he doesn't know how to handle what Bella's going through, but he's trying. Plus, I think eager Edward's cute. Pretty sure if he was that excited to go on a date with me, I'd be stoked.

But I'm just saying.

Thanks for reading. Please review :)

- Janicee.


	21. The Date

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 21: The Date**

**Bella Swan**

A date.

I have a date.

With Edward.

I told him everything, well everything major and important, and he stayed. He could have just as easily slipped out in the night, or let me down easy in the morning.

But he didn't.

He stayed.

And now I have a date.

My eyes widened in realization and I hurried around my room, stopping when I caught my reflection in the mirror.

'_Shit_,' I thought as I took in my messy hair and plain clothes. Edward had seen me wearing them. I didn't even think when I grabbed the first things I saw and brought them with me to the bathroom.

I grabbed the comb off my dresser and started to detangle the mop on my head with very little success. I groaned and plugged in my hairdryer; prepared for the worst.

Thirty-five minutes later my hair was dry, and frizzy.

Why is it always when you actually care about your hair, it doesn't work?

I rolled my eyes and flopped down on the bed.

Hopeless.

My doorbell rang and I panicked.

_It couldn't have been an hour yet, could it? _

I glanced at my phone; eight fifty.

"Shit," I cursed, standing up and tiptoeing over to the window as if he didn't already know I was home.

I looked outside and caught a glimpse of yellow in the driveway but that was all the side view would allow.

Quickly, I threw my hair up in a messy bun and walked downstairs to get the door.

"Hi Ed–Alice?" I tilted my head as the small girl stood before me, a scowl on her normally cheerful face.

"Don't 'hi Ed–Alice' me," she gritted out, storming past me and up the stairs.

I stayed where I was, completely confused and dazed.

"Well come on!" she hollered.

I jumped at high pitch voice before quickly shutting the door and following her up.

When I got there, I watched in amazement as she walked back and forth between my room and the bathroom, carrying large bags I hadn't noticed she had with her until now.

Not knowing where to go from there, I just stood stock-still and waited for instructions.

I heard her let out an irritated huff and step back out of the bathroom, standing with her hands on her hips.

I gulped audibly and twisted my hands around nervously.

"Well?" She gestured with her hand for me to speak.

Say what, I wasn't sure.

"Um, hello?" was my brilliant reply.

She rolled her eyes and pulled me into the bathroom, sitting me down on the lidded toilet before tugging out my pony tail.

"Why did I have to hear about your date from _Edward_? Don't you know this is my territory? I can't believe you didn't call me the second he left," she began to rant while I tried not to wince as she man-handled my hair. "I mean, seriously, you're lucky I bought you time. By the looks of it, you needed it." She gave me an obvious once over. I glared at her. "Oh, don't give me that, you know it's true." She waved me off.

Twenty minutes, a lot of products and a headache later; my hair was straight.

I smiled up in appreciation as Alice handed me an Advil and a glass of water before holding up a mirror for me to see.

"No more frizz, looks good." I nodded in approval and began to stand up only to be shoved back down with a disapproving look.

"That's just the hair. Now it's time for make-up." She clapped and reached for the purple bag that was placed on the sink.

I groaned and with a warning to keep it light, closed my eyes.

After my face was to Alice's standards we walked over to my room where she had already laid me out an outfit.

"Heels?" I asked her, corking up my brow.

She had to have picked up on my clumsy tendencies within the weeks we've known each other; there was no way I was pulling that off.

"It was worth a try," she muttered as she pulled out my black chucks.

I beamed, but furrowed my brow as I stared nervously at the clothes.

She looked at me expectantly, tapping her wrist as if to say 'come on, we don't have all day'.

I bit my lip. "I'm just going to take them into the bathroom." I thumbed the direction and reached for the outfit.

She rolled her eyes. "We're both girls Bella, but do what you must." She shooed me off.

I sighed in relief. She knew about my tattoo but, like the others, she hadn't seen the last name. I don't think I could explain it all again after it was so freshly re-opened.

I felt a pang of guilt wash through me as I shut the bathroom door; I had told Edward and no one else.

I made a promise to myself to tell everyone at better time.

'_There'll never be a better time, it won't get easier_' that snide voice of reason chimed in.

It was true; it'd never be easier to tell.

'_But it's still too soon to voice it again,'_ I rationalized.

'_The more you talk about it, the quicker you'll heal,'_ it taunted.

That was probably true too but still it felt to soon.

'_The less I talk about it, the less I feel,'_ I countered with a frown, placing a hand over my aching heart.

With that, I ended my inner dialogue and pulled on the dark skinny jeans and grey undershirt Alice had chosen. I glanced quickly at my tattoo in the mirror, the fine loopy print backwards but not any less meaningful, before throwing on the black button up knit sweater, the sleeves only reaching just below my elbow so I wouldn't overheat in the still chilly but warm weather.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the bathroom door and was met with a very exasperated Alice.

"Impatient?" I joked.

She glared at me.

"Come on." She pulled me into my bedroom and sat me down on the bed, leaving her standing in front of me. "Okay, I'd say we have about –" She flipped open her phone, "– four minutes until Edward shows up." She grabbed my shoes and shoved them into my hands. "Wear the gray bag you got when we went shopping and you'll be set."

I nodded mutely and pulled on my shoes, not daring to second guess her. I was just happy she didn't put me in a dress.

After chucking all the things I'd need into the large purse, I heard the familiar sound of gravel under tires.

Alice beamed. "He's here!" She clapped. "I'm so excited for you." She began to push me out of my room and down the stairs.

Before Edward even had a chance to knock on the door, she swung it opened, patted his chest with a whispered, "You're welcome." and was on her way.

Looking more than a little perturbed, he shook his head and looked up at me before flashing me a Colgate smile. "She's annoying, but she does good work," he said as he took me in.

I shrugged; it wasn't like I was in a ball gown or anything as extravagant. The clothes I was wearing were pretty normal, to which I was thankful for.

"Shall we?" he asked, holding out his hand.

My stomached growled then and he laughed as the blood pooled in my cheeks.

"I'll take that as a yes."

I rolled my eyes and placed my hand in his, letting him lead me to his car.

When we got there, he leaned over and opened the door for me.

I nodded in approval. "Very gentlemanly," I noted as I slipped in.

He beamed at me and closed my door before quickly rounding the car to the driver's side.

When he got in, he immediately started it up, backing out of my driveway with ease.

"So, um, where are we going?" I asked after a few houses passed us by.

I leaned my head against the window and faced him; taking in his outfit appreciatively.

Black leather, tight t-shit, dark jeans; he was almost _too_ pretty.

He smiled a little, but kept his eyes on the road. "I thought that since it's still pretty early we could just head to the diner, eat there and maybe do something after?" He glanced at me quickly as if to gauge my reaction.

I smiled and nodded.

It was endearing that he was nervous about asking for more time, I had only agreed to breakfast but honestly, was I really going to tell him 'no'? Even the idea of that seemed laughable.

He looked back to the road, his lips twitching ever so slightly.

He was really sweet when he wasn't being an asshole.

A few minutes of comfortable silence later we pulled into the diner. It was around ten so most of the regulars where already there for breakfast. I glanced around, almost relieved when I didn't see Charlie.

The poor guy wouldn't know how to handle me being on a date, he'd probably say it was too soon.

At that I frowned.

"Hey." I looked up to see Edward looking down at me with a concerned expression. "What's wrong?" He reached out for my hand and I happily obliged.

"Uh, nothing." I bit my lip and looked around. "Just thinking." I shrugged.

He looked like he was going to question more but changed his mind when the waitress came to bring us to our seats.

_Great Bella, ruin the date. Why don't you just trip and spill everything while you're at it. _

My frown deepened.

That was pretty likely.

After we were seated, the waitress took our drink orders and was off, leaving Edward and I alone.

I was suddenly nervous. Not because I was scared of him, but because I didn't know what to say. My last date was with James and – let's face it – everything about him was abnormal.

The lady brought us over our drinks; setting the two Cokes in front of us. "Alright, have you two decided?" she asked, glancing back and forth between the two of us.

I bit my lip and looked over to Edward.

He gestured for me to order first, a comforting smile on his lips. I looked back up to the waitress. "I'll just have the breakfast special, with scrambled eggs," I muttered quietly.

The middle aged blond smiled as she wrote down my order before turning to Edward.

He didn't even bother checking his menu. "I'll have the same, but fried eggs please."

The waitress finished writing and collected our menus, telling us it'd be a couple minutes before moving on to the next table.

"So..." I trailed off nervously.

The silence was deafening, and I could feel my palms getting sweaty.

Edward unravelled his utensils and tapped his fork noisily on the table, looking around, seemingly just as nervous. "Uh..." he trailed off.

Great, now we were both freezing up.

We sat quietly for the next five minutes until our food arrived, each trying unsuccessfully to start a conversation but every time it'd awkwardly trail off.

And then we ate quietly.

And drank quietly.

And sat quietly.

And everything was just... _quiet_.

The only noises were from the people around us, the clanking of forks hitting plates and the light melodies flowing from the old radio that was placed on the counter by the register.

I watched as Edward looked down at his plate, his hands shaking a little as he took a bite. He was obviously new at this.

Just like me.

We just needed an icebreaker.

"Emmett's adopted," he blurted out.

I choked a little on my soda and cleared my throat, looking back at him incredulous. His cheeks were pink in embarrassment so I had a slight feeling that that little tidbit just slipped.

_Well, you asked for an icebreaker..._

I smiled at him. "Isn't that what all siblings say about each other?" I teased.

He let out a whoosh of air and smiled back at me.

"It's just...I wanted to tell you about it. I don't really have any deep stories to share, and I don't want you to think I don't trust you after everything..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

I frowned. "You don't have to tell me something just because I told you Edward; I won't think any less of you," I reassured him, looking him square in the eye to get my point across.

He gulped.

"I don't want us to have any secrets and, I mean, it's kind of Emmett's but it's the only one I have." He looked down with a frown.

I smiled at this newfound shyness.

"Okay." I smiled at him.

Edward looked over to the waitress, calling her over for the bill. He waited until it was paid and lead me out side.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked me as we headed to the car.

I laughed a little.

"Sure, but I don't think we need the car..." I shook my head as he pressed the unlock button on his keys and the Volvo beeped.

"Well, I have somewhere in particular in mind." He opened my door for me again and I smiled gratefully.

We were off in a matter of seconds, heading further towards the outskirts of Forks until he turned down a hidden trail, the same trail were the bus was kept.

"Is this where we get out, you tell me that you're some supernatural creature and kill me?" I feigned scared.

He chuckled and pulled over.

"Nope, I'm just Edward." He smiled over to me before climbing out of the car.

When I got out, I looked around.

All I saw was woods.

"All I see is woods," I voiced my thoughts.

He chuckled and walked over to take my hand; something I was quickly getting used to, and didn't think I'd ever tire of.

"Now we walk," he said as he led me through the large trees and rocks and dirt and other woodsy stuff.

We walked for a little in comfortable silence, the air around us completely different than it was in the diner, before I looked over to him.

"So Emmett..." I trailed off quietly.

It seemed like something he was adamant in telling me, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious.

He took a deep breath, still leading me onwards.

"I was four so I don't remember a whole lot. Just my parents telling me that I was going to have a brother and being excited," he started, just staring at nothing. "My parents told me later on – I think I was eleven – what the real story was." He frowned and I squeezed his hand, telling him it was okay.

He took a deep breath. "Emmett was five when he came to live with us. At first he was really shy. He wouldn't do anything until he was told, wouldn't play with me unless he had permission first and he never asked; I'd always offer, and even then he was reluctant." He looked down at the ground as he walked. "I never pushed him on the issue, mom would always tell me to make him feel comfortable and not to ask him a lot of questions, to let him come to me when he was ready." He ran his free hand through his hair. "As we got older, little details were shared and he became more open and happy, unlike the reserved and skittish kid he had been before." He sighed, pulling me to an opening where we flopped down.

I sat in between his legs and leaned my back against his chest, letting him hold me; letting him find comfort there.

He rested his chin on the top of my head and spoke quietly. "One day, something happened. We were in class fooling around when someone said something, I don't even remember what it was but it set him off, and he started shaking. We were in one of those split classes, because our school was so small, they had grade four and five in the same class," he explained when I looked up at him. "The teacher tried to calm him down, and grabbed his arm, not hard but firmly." He frowned. "Emmett just shut down, froze right there and closed his eyes tight like he was bracing himself." He lazily played with a piece of my hair, twirling it around on his finger.

"When we got home, mom sat me down and asked what had happened. When I told her, she had tears in her eyes. I didn't understand so I asked, 'mom, what happened to Emmett?' I had said. The look she gave me was so broken; she was shaking in her silent sobs as she beckoned me over. She sat me down next to her on the couch and explained everything." He let out a shaky breath, and I rubbed his knee, trying to comfort him like he had done for me when our roles were reversed. "Though the more gruesome details came later." I shivered, nervously.

"Emmett's mother had died giving birth to him and his father – if you can call him that – started to drink. I guess his grandmother lived with them, or something, to help take care of him so his dad just let her deal with the responsibility." He shook his head. "Emmett's grandmother was really sick, I was told, and died a few years later leaving Emmett with just his dad." I could tell this really hurt him to say. This was his brother, in all the ways that matter, that this had happened to.

"Emmett was at the hospital dad worked at. He had bruises everywhere, was poorly neglected and dehydrated. He was practically skin and bones. When Carlisle asked the nurse about details, she said that a neighbour claimed to have seen movement in the house that they lived in. She had told the police that Emmett's father left a few days ago and hadn't returned, so she thought it was a burglary." I looked up at him; he had a scowl on his face, glaring to the woods before us. "The fucking bastard left him there. He beat him, this five year old helpless boy, then left him there to fend for himself," he spat, his hands clenching tightly around me. "The police went in, baring their guns to this supposed thief to be met by a scared little boy curled up in the corner, starved."

He took another deep breath, calming himself down noticeably as he moved on. "Carlisle called social services, but he couldn't let him go in foster care. He said he was meant to be his son, my brother." He smiled a little at that. "The adoption took a little while to be official but he was living with us two weeks later."

I smiled up at him. "You're kind of amazing."

He looked at me strangely.

"How do you figure?" He chuckled nervously, shaking his head.

I smiled at him. "You accepted Emmett into your life the moment you met him; claiming him as your brother. You could have been a whiny brat about it, thinking he was moving in on your territory, but you weren't," I noted.

He shrugged, a frown playing on his lips as he tugged at the grass. "It's not really me; Emmett just has this thing about him that's hard not to accept."

I rolled my eyes at his explanation.

"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies," I mocked.

He looked at me curiously.

"It's Shakespeare," I explained. "Don't sell yourself short. You play the role of the bad guy at school, smoking and random hook-ups, but you're not. I think you're just afraid to show your real self; the boy who's smart, talented and loves his family, blood or otherwise. Don't hide behind something that you think makes you look better, when the real you is what's beautiful."

He was quiet, but I wasn't surprised. We had just gone from Emmett's sad past, to me calling him out _again_.

But he was being modest and, when normally that would be endearing, it was for a reason I didn't like.

He would have no problem had I just complemented him on his looks, or how well he played a sport but when it was something as simple as being a good person, for loving his family, he couldn't admit it because he was too caught up in the image that he built for himself.

And I didn't want _that_ image, not _that_ guy; the one who complained about me being parked in his spot, or threw lines at me to make himself look cool.

I wanted _Edward_.

I let him ponder that for a second, breathing heavily in my ear, before I turned around and faced him.

He looked sad, staring at the ground, still lazily picking at the grass.

"What if that's not me though?" he asked quietly. "What if I _am_ the bad guy?"

That made me frown; he didn't think he was good?

No matter how much he acted otherwise, it was just that; acting.

I knew he was good.

I placed a hand on his cheek and it was then that I realized just how close we were, how intimate the situation.

I lifted his head to meet my eyes.

His breath, erratic, fanned across my face, his eyes gazing into mine, leaning in slightly.

I mirrored him, tilting my head as he inched closer.

"You're not," I breathed, leaning in so that my lips brushed against his; the electricity that flowed so openly between us sparking at the smallest touch. I sighed as he placed his hand around my neck and pulled me closer, our lips connecting fully, unable to hold back.

My eyes fluttered closed as I sucked his upper lip in between mine, brushing my tongue against it in a slow tortures motion before he finally let me in.

I couldn't prevent the moan that escaped me when our tongues met, his taste was overwhelming and my senses exploded in lust for him as we deepened the kiss.

My fingers dragged lightly across his cheek and into his hair, tugging lightly.

He groaned in response and pulled himself up, laying me down so that he hovered over me, his palm rested lovingly on my face as his forearm held him up.

And we kissed.

And we nibbled.

And we licked.

And we felt.

Until we broke apart, gasping for air.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and was met with his darkened green ones staring down at me with such emotion, my breath caught.

"Whoa," I breathed as he rolled off of me.

He was quiet; I looked over to see him staring at the ground.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, taking his hand in mine.

He looked up at me, his eyes red. "Bella, I don't _want_ to be the bad guy. Not to you." He frowned, looking back down.

I pulled him over to me and hugged him. "You're not," I repeated, softly but firmly in his ear.

He nodded but didn't quiet seem to let it go.

We would have to work on that.

We stayed there for a little while longer, in each others' arms, before Edward stood up quickly.

"Come on, there's more," he said as he held out his hand for me.

I didn't know if he was pretending to be alright or if he had really let it all go but, just like that, all the seriousness from before had vanished and we were back on our date, walking hand-in-hand, deeper into the forest.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Okay, whew, that was tons. This is probably my favorite chapter. Which is why it's so long, I didn't want it to end. But it had to, _oh well._

So they had their date, ish. Clearly it didn't end there but Edward will reminisce about it next chapter.

On another note; I usually update within three to four days. That's my goal. But due to my provincials starting and lasting the entire weekend, I don't know if I'll have any time to write, or the energy to.

My goal is still the same (three to four days) and hopefully I'll have the next post by Wednesday. But we'll see.

Anyways...

Thoughts? Ideas? Questions?

Do it up ;)

- Janicee.


	22. The Last Two Weeks

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 22: The Last Two Weeks**

**Edward Cullen**

I awoke with a smile on my face, not even caring that I was up a whole hour before necessary. I just kept on smiling like an idiot and got up to get ready for the day.

It had been two weeks since my date with Bella; two fuckawesome, hand-holding, kissing before class and girly butterflies in my stomach weeks.

The date itself had been shaky at first, but it was more nerves than anything. After we got out of the diner and started towards the woods, the thick tension in the air dissolved and it was just us; Edward and Bella.

We were at ease walking together, hand-in-hand.

And then it got deep.

I had shared with her the only thing I really had that meant anything, that made any kind of impact in my life because, to be honest, I've had it pretty fucking dandy.

I had loving parents, wikid friends and everything I could ever possibly want just handed over to me.

Even a brother.

Emmett, on the other hand, had a rough life up until living with us; some of which still brought tears to my eyes to even think about.

He was strong, and not just physically.

Growing up, it was easy to forget all the hardships he faced due to his normally jubilant personality. But every now and then I'd see his eyes drift somewhere else and knew he was thinking about it. About where his real father was or about the mother he had lost and never had the chance to know.

Not that he didn't think of Esme and Carlisle as his parents, because he did, there was no doubt in my mind he loved them unconditionally as such.

But there was always that 'what if'.

_What if_ my mother hadn't died?

_What if_ my father didn't pick up that first bottle?

_What if_ he hadn't beaten me, or left me to starve?

I shivered at my own trail of thoughts and immediately switched my focused to Bella.

I needed the distraction.

After telling her all about Emmett she had said I was amazing.

Though I completely disagreed.

"_We will all laugh at gilded butterflies," _she had told me after I easily brushed off her compliment _"It's Shakespeare,"_ _she explained, looking at me seriously. "Don't sell yourself short. You play the role of the bad guy at school, smoking and random hook-ups, but you're not. I think you're just afraid to show your real self; the boy who's smart, talented and loves his family, blood or otherwise. Don't hide behind something that you think makes you look better, when the real you is what's beautiful." She looked me deep in the eye, willing me to understand what she was telling me._

And I did.

I just didn't believe her.

She looked at me, waiting for a reaction as I gently picked at the grass; truly wanting to believe her, to listen to her.

Then sullenly, I voice my thoughts; my _fears._

And then she kissed me.

And I lost control and I just wanted to be there forever, holding her and kissing her.

But eventually, we had to breathe.

It was a shame really.

When we pulled apart, I cracked at the loss of contact and let myself be vulnerable and open, for the third time.

"_Bella, I don't want to be the bad guy. Not to you," _I had said, completely honest and terrified.

If I hurt her, I'd never forgive myself; _ever_.

After reassuring me that I wasn't, in fact, the bad guy, we both sat quietly, her wrapped back up into my arms.

Where she belonged.

And then I remembered that I hadn't even taking her to where I planned for us to go. That the clearing was just a pit stop.

So, I hauled myself up and helped her do the same, leading her back into the depth of the woods.

"_You know where we're going right?" she asked nervously. _

_I chuckled and squeezed her hand._

"_Yes, Bella, I know where we're going." I assured her. She didn't look overly convinced but had let it drop regardless. _

_We walked a few more minutes until I saw a ray of light shining towards us. I beamed and pointed it out to Bella._

"_See that light ahead?" I murmured, using my free hand to direct her. Her eyes squinted to see before nodding eagerly. "Just up there." _

_We walked the rest of the way in silence; every now and then I'd glance over to Bella and see a content smile on her face, staring off towards the sun. _

_I felt a pang of remorse for her, she obviously loved the sun and that was just another thing James had taken from her. _

_When we reached the edge of the woods, Bella moved ahead, walking out slowly before twirling around in the midst of tall grass and colourful flowers swaying in the light breeze. _

_I chuckled lightly at how carefree she was. _

_She was so beautiful._

_When she stopped and looked at me, still standing at the edge of the woods, she smiled. "How did you find this place?" she asked in awe. I shrugged. _

"_I was walking through the woods one day and got lost, I ended up here. Now I come here to think, to really be myself," I told her._

'_I come here to escape' I wanted to say. 'To drop the charade you so correctly accused me of putting on.'_

_She smiled, walking over to me. "It's gorgeous," she breathed, grabbing my hand and tugging me out of the shadows, the warmth of the sun enveloping me. _

_We both laid down near the middle of the meadow, facing the sky, and Bella took my hand, tracing the creases there. _

_I hummed happily, singing the tune that had been in my head for what seemed like forever now, but other than that we were both quiet – there was no need to speak._

"_What is that?" she asked quietly, not stopping the ministrations on my palm. _

_I opened an eye, facing her sunlit face, and smiled. _

_Everything around us was perfect. _

_I felt peaceful and relaxed, and thought briefly that that's what the melody I wrote for Bella had made me feel._

_And then it hit me, what I had written for her. _

"_A lullaby," I breathed. _

I hadn't told her it was hers, or that I had written it and I didn't know why. It just didn't feel right to tell her then. Not only did I not want it to come off like I was bragging but mostly it was because it wasn't finished yet and I wanted to play it for her first, complete. To show her it's true beauty, like she showed me hers.

The rest of our date had gone perfectly, we stayed in the meadow until the sun started to go down and we got hungry. We walked back to the car happily, still holding hands and I drove her home.

With a chaste kiss goodnight and a promise to see her later, she went in and I drove off; already missing her.

When I thought back to it, it shocked me just how well we got along when I was being myself and the awkward 'beginning of a first date' stage was over.

It was just... easy.

We fit.

It was completely natural to leave earlier in the mornings to pick her up before school, or to take her hand when we walked.

Though, as made obvious from the other students gawking, it wasn't exactly 'normal behaviour' for me.

_I parked my car along the curb of Bella's house. I had told Emmett to take his jeep this morning and he understood. _

_He was the same way with Rosalie when they had first started dating. _

_I got out and leaned against the door of my car, waiting for her to stumble out of her house so I could surprise her. _

_When she finally came out, I smiled; she just always brought that reaction out of me. _

_And then I frowned. _

_She didn't see me. _

_She walked down her three steps and straight towards her truck. _

"_Bella!" I called. She whipped her head around quickly and lost her balance, landing hard against the gravel. I stifled my laughter and jogged over to help her up. _

"_Are you okay?" I asked as I hauled her up and into my arms. She smiled._

"_I am now." I rolled my eyes._

"_That was so corny." I chuckled at her. _

_She scowled at me. "Whatever." She bit her lip. "So, what are you doing here?" she asked. _

_I beamed. "Driving you to school," I announced proudly. She rolled her eyes._

"_What?" I asked seriously. She cracked a smiled._

"_You're so corny," she mocked. I laughed. _

_She had a point._

"_Whatever, now come on." I took her hand and led her to my car. _

_When we got to school, I parked in my regular spot and jumped out, rounding the car to get the door for Bella. She rolled her eyes as I helped her out and mouth 'corny'. I chuckled and took her hand. _

"_Whoa," she breathed, looking around as we manoeuvred our way through the parking lot. I gave her a curious look. "Everyone's staring." She used her free hand to point. _

_I took my eyes off of her for the first time and glanced around and, sure enough, everyone was staring. _

"_Well then," I started as we got to the school. "Let's give them something to stare at." I pushed her up against the brick wall and brought my lips down to hers eagerly. _

_There was nothing – and I'm not exaggerating – that tasted as good as Bella. _

_She moaned in my mouth as I took her bottom lip in between my own; sucking and licking and tasting and just relishing at the fact that she _let_ me. I groaned and deepened the kiss. _

_In the background, I could faintly hear the sounds of people whispering but my mind was completely preoccupied. _

_I don't know how long we stayed there kissing but at some point there was a tap on my shoulder and we had to pull apart. _

_I turned my head to growl at the intruder only to be faced with a stern looking principal. _

"_Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan," Mr. Hudson addressed, crossing his arms. "I'm sure you are both well aware of the strict 'no P.D.A.' rule at this school. Don't let me see this little... act, again," and with that he stomped away. _

_I turned to look at Bella who was by now beat red. "Just because he doesn't get any." I snickered; she giggled and hid her mortified looking face in my chest. _

"_I heard that Cullen," the principal yelled. I gulped and took Bella's hand, leading her to her first class. _

After that, it wasn't that big of a shock anymore, gossip got around quickly that we were sort of 'together' but that didn't necessarily stop people from looking, or the girls from hitting on me – which made Bella pissed.

"_Hey Eddie," Lauren purred, paying no mind to Bella who was under my arm. "I was wondering if you wanted to skip sometime later, we could hook-up." She dragged her badly-manicured fingernail down my chest and I could of sworn I heard Bella growl._

"_Um, hey, Lauren is it?" Bella cut in. She nodded "Yeah, incase that blonde hair-dye has been messing with your vision, I'm right the fuck here." Lauren sneered at Bella._

"_Like I care." She snorted, turning her attention back to me. "So Eddie, what do you say?" _

_I shivered in disgust but before I could say anything, Bella came to my rescue._

"_It's _Edward_," she corrected. Lauren looked at her._

"_What?" she asked rudely._

"_His name," Bella explained. "It's _Edward_," she said slowly._

_Lauren looked dumbfounded, like she was working a math problem she couldn't figure out and Bella laughed, took my hand and, together, we walked away. _

That was the first time I had seen Bella get jealous.

And, I won't lie; it was a fucking turn on.

But if I was being completely honest with myself, anything Bella did turned me on.

After that Lauren cooled down a little, but other girls weren't that smart.

Apparently we weren't 'official' so I was still game.

I felt a little dirty after I heard that, but I couldn't blame them, I had done that to myself.

And it was true, we hadn't titled our relationship yet but I knew it was only a matter of time, and so did the other guys at school.

Because I fucking told them.

I had overheard some of the guys talking about Bella in the hall and put an end to that pronto.

They were talking about her as if she were one of those sluts that walked around half-naked with a 'fuck-me' sign practically taped to their backs.

I won't say any names, but long story short; my already two week detention was increased for the rest of the month, and that was going easy on me.

The only reason I didn't get suspended was because I hadn't been caught, I'd been fucking _tattled_ on, and even then there wasn't any solid proof; A broken nose, two black eyes and maybe a tooth or two missing was the gist of it but fuck if I knew, I was seeing red.

The evidence, though, was glaring at the principal when he had called me in, my bloody knuckles standing out like a reflective vest as I sat there scowling back at him. But for all he knew, I could have punched a wall, I didn't, but it was possible.

"_Edward," Mr. Hudson said impatiently as I sat comfortably across from him, crossing my arms over my chest and only wincing a little when the raw skin met the scratchy fabric of my shirt. _

_I didn't answer, but instead raised my eyebrow in question to which the principal sighed._

"_Was it not bad enough that you had just received punishment for that April fools scandal you pulled, but now you're getting into fights too?" he asked pointedly. _

_I didn't answer, or bother to explain. He couldn't prove anything and I knew none of the other students would rat me out, I inwardly rolled my eyes at the one guy stupid enough to and sighed myself, leaning further back on the chair. _

_Mr. Hudson folded his hands on his desk and stared at me; the accusation in his eyes evident. _

_But he wasn't getting anything out of me. _

_The bastard deserved every punch. _

_Mr. Hudson sighed again, taking of his glasses and rubbing his forehead. "Edward, I don't get it. You do well in all of your classes and you participate in school functions and extracurricular activities. Why must you behave so childishly with such a bright future?" he asked, exasperated. _

_I thought about everything he said; yes, I was smart and, when the season came around, I was a pretty decent ball player, but I didn't think the way I acted was childish._

_Well maybe the bus thing was a little childish._

_And I'm talking Mike Newton's peen – little. _

_But how could standing up for someone who was virtually defenceless be childish? _

Mr. Hudson had told me to finish out the month in detention and to smarten up, so I shrugged and walked back to my class.

Detention was easy. All I had to do was sit and listen to music, text or, if need be, do homework to pass the time. And it usually passed quickly, although it had defiantly been dragging on lately since Emmett's time was up.

The worst of it, though, was Bella when she had found out.

"_Edward," she screeched when she saw me in the hall._

She had practically run up to me to survey the damage.

There wasn't any.

After she was satisfied that I wasn't on my last breath, she had whacked me upside my head_. _

"_What were you thinking?" she demanded as I rubbed the tender area. _

_I looked down at her. "Uh, that I didn't appreciate people talking about you like a piece of meat and then pretty much nothing..." I said honestly. As soon as my brain hit 'fighting mode' I was gone to the world and seeing everything through a red haze. _

_She smacked me again. _

"_Would you _please_ stop that," I ground out, narrowing my eyes at the angry woman before me. _

_She crossed her arms. "I don't care if people say I'm moving to India to bread quadruplets, I don't want you fighting them," she told me defiantly. I rolled my eyes. _

"_If someone is talking about you, I'm going to set them straight," I argued, mirroring her position. Her eyes softened. _

"_Fine, set them straight by talking to them, telling them they're wrong or to back off or whatever. Just don't fight; it's not worth it," she said softly. "One of these days there'll be someone bigger than you, stronger, and you're not going to seem so tough. I just don't want you to get hurt." She wrapped her arms around me then, hugging me to her. _

_I dropped my hands to her waist and smiled. "Yeah, but I have Emmett on my side and really, who's bigger than him?" I joked. She giggled a little and shook her head before resting it back on my chest. _

"_You're really not funny," she mumbled. I tightened my arms around her and smiled, placing a chaste kiss on the top of her head._

"_I still made you laugh." _

That had been our first argument since the whole truck debacle, and we had sorted it out pretty quickly.

I was impressed.

We were acting like a real been-married-twenty-years couple and I wasn't even fazed.

I was _happy._

After I was dressed and ready for the day, I decided it was late enough that I could go down for breakfast so – grabbing my phone and keys from my dresser – I left my room, closing the door behind me.

"Good morning, Edward," Esme greeted me as I skipped down the stairs. "You've been awfully happy lately," she noted. I just shrugged, not doing much to hide my smiled, and walked over to kiss her on the cheek.

I picked out a plate and filled it up with the bacon, eggs and toast my mother had cooked and sat down at the table, orange juice in hand.

The rest of the family – being just Emmett and my dad – came down shortly after and we all ate quietly; lost in our own thoughts.

Mine were of Bella.

**

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Author's Note:** I'm really, really tired, so I'm sorry it's late and I apologize for any grammatical errors, like I said, I'm really, really tired and I just wanted to get it out.

So... this chapter's a little different, sort of like a mini epilogue to skip a little ahead so I can get to more interesting details, that may happen a couple more times yet so if you didn't like it let me know and I'll try to do it differently.

Other than that, I don't really have much to say here, the last chapter didn't get much appreciation, but that was fan fiction's fault, I guess there was a glitch or something?

Anyways, let's pick the last chapter up and review tons here ;)

- Janicee.


	23. His Eyes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 23: His Eyes**

**Bella Swan**

"Bella?" a voice called, pulling me out of my dreams. "Wake up."

I groaned, lifting myself into a sitting position and stretched before turning to find my dad standing in my doorway.

"Dad?" I yawned, trying to shake myself out of my half-sleep daze. He chuckled.

"You have school in forty-five minutes, you over slept," he told me, pointing to the clock on my bedside.

I followed his finger; my eyes widening in realization.

"Shit!" I screeched, jumping out of bed.

"Bella," he warned. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and smiled sweetly at him as I apologized and made my way to the bathroom.

Rushing my morning routine, I finished with five minutes to spare; not wanting to be late considering I no longer drove myself.

That thought made me smile.

I made my way downstairs, making myself a bagel and grabbed my bags. It was dry out this morning so I opted to eat on the porch as I waited for Edward to show up.

_Edward._

It had been two weeks since our date and I was completely content. Apart from a few minor mishaps at school that I'd rather not think about, things have gone along pretty perfectly.

He surprised me by picking me up before school that first day. In fact I was _so_ surprised that I fell and, though he tried to hide it, I saw the bastard fighting back a grin as he made his way over to help me up.

Then there were the girls.

_Ugh._

Me kissing him and hugging him and holding his hand does nothing to ward them off.

Believe me, I tired and it hadn't worked yet.

They were completely ridiculous; hiking up their skirts and pushing their scanty clad breasts in his face.

But not once since we've had that first date has he so much as glanced in any of their direction, which was a fact that undoubtedly brought a grin to my face.

Unfortunately; something that just as easily wiped it away was Edward going all cavemen on me and _protecting my honour_.

Honestly.

I had to put up with teenagers and their catty bullshit for a year and a half, at least this time it was somewhat _positive _bullshit.

He's lucky he didn't get in much trouble because I would have been pissed had he of gotten himself suspended over that.

He'd be fighting _me_ then.

I finished off my bagel just as Edward pulled into my driveway.

He climbed out of his car and smiled brightly as I jumped up and ran into his arms.

"What are you doing after school today?" he mumbled in my hair. I shrugged.

"I don't know, why?" He pulled apart from me and I frowned; missing the contact already.

"How about another date?" He grinned.

I pretended to think about it to which he playfully shoved me away.

I laughed. "Sure, where are we going?" I grabbed the hoops of his jeans and pulled him back to me.

He relented, wrapping his arms around my waste and leaned his head down so his lips were brushing ever so slightly against mine. "Not telling." I mock gasped and he dove in, crashing his lips to mine eagerly. I sighed happily, letting him deepen the kiss.

Every time, no matter how public, it was the same; I couldn't get enough.

I tugged at his hair, bringing him as close to me as I could get without swallowing him whole. He grinned against my lips and slowly turned us around, walking us backwards until I was pressed up against his car, and lifted me up so that I was sitting on the hood.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and drew him closer, moaning quietly as his groin made contact with my own, and grinded against him in sheer desperate need.

In the back of my head I knew we were getting ahead of ourselves. That we had to be at school soon and we were starting something neither of us could follow through.

Plus, I didn't want to push our boundaries further than I was ready for. I mean, we weren't officially well... official yet, no matter how much it felt like we've been together for years.

But, despite me knowing, I was too far gone to stop, trailing my hand back up his chest and into his hair.

Unfortunately, he wasn't.

He groaned as he pulled apart, both of us gasping for air, and rested his head against mine.

"Come on," he breathed. "We're late."

With that he helped me down and we both got in the car.

I suppressed the urge to whine in protest; understanding his reasoning but not any less uncomfortable but still, I tried to hide my smug grin as I caught him adjusting himself.

But of course I failed and he noticed.

"What?" he asked innocently. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the window as he pulled out of the driveway; I was just glad I wasn't the only one.

We got to school just as the final bell rang and he turned to me. "I don't want to go in," he admitted.

I laughed. "Want to skip?" I joked.

He looked like he was considering it. "It wouldn't be the first time..."

I patted his chest and opened the door. "Yeah, well I have a math test that I'm already late for, so I have to go." I sighed dramatically. He chuckled and opened his door too before jumping out and pulling me into his arms.

I was really starting to resent that we only had two classes together; leaving us with far too many goodbyes in one day.

But, it had to be done.

Reluctantly I gave him one last kiss and we both went our separate ways.

When I got to class, after being scolded by Mr. Varner for tardiness, I was handed my test and told to take my seat.

Alice was already there; head down as she focused on the sheet in front of her, occasionally writing the answers with her frilly pink pencil.

I shook my head, stifling a laugh as I pulled out my chair and got to work.

"Whew," Alice breathed as the bell rang. I nodded my agreement, scribbling my name at the top of the sheet before handing it up the row.

"So," she started, look slyly at me as she packed her bag. I quirked up a brow in question. "A little birdie told me that you have a date tonight." She grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, this is first period; he asked me this morning. That's not a little birdie, that's a hawk." She giggled at my exasperation. She knew I hated that she knew everything.

_Almost_ everything.

'_Soon'_ I promised myself.

"Relax, he told me he was going to ask you." She waved me off. I laughed as we walked through the parking lot.

"Okay, I know what you want to say and seeing as we have to go to class, just ask so I can say 'no' and not be late... again," I told her sweetly, fluttering my eyelashes dramatically.

She huffed, before quickly changing her tactics. "But Bella..." she whined, jutting out her bottom lip.

Shit. Shit. _Shit. _

I closed my eyes. "No."

"Pretty please?" she begged. I could almost _hear_ the tears pooling in her eyes. I shook my head viciously. "With a cherry on top?" she added.

I cracked open an eye, slowly.

And that was my resolve.

She looked so...small; all teary eyed and sad looking like I just stole her very first Prada bag and was dancing around with it out of her reach.

I sighed. "Fine, you can help me get ready as long as it's not over the top," I relented. She squealed and hugged me, almost knocking me over with her tiny frame.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said before scurrying off to her class.

I took a deep breath, clearing my head, and walked to Bio.

When I got to class I was unpleasantly surprised that Edward was nowhere to be found.

With a frown, I walked over to our desk and settled in, waiting for Edward more so than for class to start.

But he never showed.

I couldn't concentrate at all, instead opting to tap my pencil on my desk as I stared out the window wondering where he could be.

And then Mr. Banner called on me because apparently teachers like to do that; call on people who are obviously not listening.

I sighed, fighting the urge to roll me eyes as I asked him to repeat the question.

He gave me a disapproving look. "I wouldn't have to, Ms. Swan, had you been paying attention to begin with. Now, did you do the homework that was assigned last week?" he asked, walking through the aisle towards my desk. I looked around the room, blushing as I noticed all eyes were on me and nodded meekly.

Mr. Banner raised his eyebrow, silently asking for me to get it out.

I complied and, after he checked that all the questions were answered, he sighed and handed me back the sheet. "Just make sure to follow along when we go over the answers from now on; class participation is worth ten percent," he muttered before walking back to the front of the room.

I sighed, relieved that _that_ was over with, and got back to staring out the window.

"Okay class," Mr. Banner yelled abruptly. My head snapped up. "We're going to be starting a new unit today on genetics and I thought that we could begin with a fun class experiment." He smiled as the rest of the students groaned.

'Fun class experiment' was pretty much always code for the opposite.

"Settle down class." Mr. Banner rolled his eyes. "Okay, for this we're going to need to use the school's computers." At this people brightened up – technology always seemed to have that affect on people. "I want you all to partner up and jot down the link on the black board behind me and quietly make your way to the library," he explained.

The class got noticeably louder after the teacher finished his explanation; people partnering up and talking as they copied down the website.

I frowned, I really wanted Edward.

"Hey, Bella," a familiar voice came from behind me. I turned around and smiled.

"Hi, Jasper."

"Partners?" he asked; looking around the room as people started filling out. I smiled and nodded, glad to have someone here from my new group of friends.

Jazz jotted down the site, and stood, holding his arm out to me. "Shall we?" he asked; his light Southern twang slightly more prominent. I giggled at him, hooking my arm through his.

"We shall."

Jasper and I joked around as we made our way out of the building and across the parking lot; me occasionally glancing around for any trace of Edward.

"What – or should I say who – are you looking for?" Jasper asked with a knowing spark in his eyes as we walked through the main doors. I blushed, apparently I wasn't so subtle.

Obviously that was enough for him as he nodded in understanding. "I haven't seen him since this morning. I don't know where he is," he told me, holding open the library door and gesturing for me to go in.

I thanked him and walked to the closest free computer.

"Whatever, he's the one missing out on this 'fun class experiment'," I joked, typing in the web address.

I froze when the screen popped up; the header taunting me.

'What Color Eyes Would Your Child Have?' it read in large, black, bolded font. I gulped back tears as one thought entered my mind; _'I'll never know.'_

I never saw his eyes; they were closed when I held him. I don't know if they were brown like mine or blue like James', or if they were something completely different.

And I never would.

I shuddered, staring at the black and white screen but not really seeing it; the words meshing together in a blur as the room fell silent, the only sounds being the loud thumps of my heart beating erratically in my ears.

My mouth grew dry and I gripped my throat, gasping for air, while simultaneously clawing at my chest to rid myself of the burn.

I kept hearing it in my mind over and over; _'I'll never know.'_

I closed my eyes willing it all to go away – for the room to stop spinning, for those cruel thoughts to disappear – but it only seemed to get worse; everything intensified.

'_I'll never know.'_

It was like a bubble, blocking me from reality; I could faintly hear the echoes of people around me but it was light and distant; as if I were underwater.

The pressure around me increased; my head throbbing. I opened my mouth to scream but no sounds escaped. I felt myself slipping, the pull was too strong and eventually I collapsed.

The last thing I heard before I slipped into the darkness was Edward screaming my name; loud and clear.

**

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Author's Note:** Sorry it's short but had I of made it longer it wouldn't have evened out with the next few chapters.

I have a few more bumps before everything smooths out completely and you get your HEA, but I estimate it'll end in another approximately ten chapters, so if there is anything you want in this story – some particular scene, or another POV – think on it then let me know in your review; if it's reasonable and fits with the story I'll comply.

Also I plan to do a chapter in James' POV, do you guys want that mixed in the story or at the end as an outtake? It's your choice...

Well, that's about it; so review away!

- Janicee.


	24. Her Song

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 24: Her Song **

**Edward Cullen**

I knew Bella was joking when she suggested that we not go to class but whatever, I took her impromptu advice anyways.

I was too happy for school to go and ruin that.

I walked through the parking lot after kissing Bella goodbye and just decided that English really wasn't all that important at the moment; I suddenly felt inspired.

So I went to the music room. I've known from experience that it was always empty during the morning classes, and let my feet take me towards the familiar room.

I hadn't been there in a while; I sort of missed it.

The chairs were scattered around the room in messy aisles, music stands and small instruments filling whatever space was left. I manoeuvred around each, towards the back corner of the room where the piano lay.

It was older and less expensive than the one I had at home but, for some reason, I've always liked it better.

It was kept in fairly good shaped, always tuned, and the sound always felt more intense, more meaningful than my overly expensive baby grand.

This one had soul.

So I played, adding more depth to the lullaby I had tweaked constantly since that first time playing it; it always felt incomplete.

The tune started off the same, confusion and anger ripping through the air as my fingers pounded on the keys.

The room was soundproof, giving me the freedom to play as I wished.

The anger simmered down, a little glee shinning through before dipping low into sorrow and jealously, the feelings strong and intense – like I was back in that room, cradling Bella as she told me her past.

I continued to play, letting my heart decide which keys to press. The soft notes changing back into a loud angry rhythm.

Then, slowly, I added in a more upbeat tempo.

The obvious happiness I felt growing louder; gradually drowning out the darker part of the song.

And it stayed happy because that was how I felt now; completely content and grateful.

Bella agreed to a second date; the date where I was going to ask for us to be official.

We acted like it anyways and she was all that I wanted.

Plus, hopefully it would make the other girls back _the fuck_ off my junk.

It was getting ridiculous.

I hadn't noticed but some of that irritation towards that had made its way into Bella's song, but it somehow worked. It was everything she made me feel, or what being with her invoked in me.

With her came all sorts of feelings; some completely foreign to me and I was, in my own way, sorting through them all using my music; discovering each as they flew from the tips of my fingers into the whole that they become.

I gasped as the last of my inspiration left me and hunched over, trying to catch my breath. My music always took a lot out of me.

I thought over everything I had done or changed and smiled, I had accomplished a lot but still, it felt incomplete.

I stayed there for a little while longer, just staring at the worn black and white keys before grabbing my bag and standing up.

Bio was next.

Bio meant I got to see Bella.

Smiling; I got up and headed for class, surprised that no one was around.

_Had I not been in there as long as I thought?_

When I reached the building, I glanced around curiously.

'_Where was everyone?'_ I thought, glaring at the empty room.

I pulled out my phone, my eyes widening as I realized I was actually twenty minutes late.

Shit.

But that still didn't explain where everyone was.

I looked around the room for some sort of clue, my eyes stopping at the messy scribble on the black board.

_A website?_

A website meant computers and computers meant the library. I nodded, mentally patting myself on the back for figuring that out and left.

When I rounded the corner towards the library, I sensed something was off.

I could feel it in the air.

I quickened my pace, rushing through the doors and gasped as I saw everyone gathered around my Bella.

She was breathing funny, taking large gasps of air as if they were her last and clutching at her chest.

I froze; I didn't know what to do in this sort of situation. So stupidly I just gawked at the scene from the doorway.

Until she collapsed.

My feet took me to her before I even knew what was happening and I called out to her but she was out cold, curled up in Jasper's arms from how he had caught her.

He was looking at her in pure panic as he gently rocked her, saying soothing words to get her to come to.

"Jazz, what happened?" I asked nervously, ducking down to swipe a loose strand of hair from Bella's face. He looked up at me sadly.

"I don't know. We were both joking around, she typed in the website and all of a sudden it was like something switched in her mind and, well, this happened." He gestured to her in his arms.

I knew it was irrational, but I would be lying if I said that the fact that he got to be the one holding her right now wasn't stirring up a teensy bit of jealousy within me.

As if he could sense it, he gently eased her into my arms, and I stood up cradling her.

"Did anyone call 911?" I asked, looking around the room. The nosy bystanders all shrugged.

Had Bella not been in my arms I would have flipped my shit, but luckily for them she was. I took a deep, cleansing breath and turned to my best friend.

"Jasper?" I asked. Not needing any further questioning, he nodded and dialled my father. He talked quietly on the phone, letting him know that Bella had passed out and needed to be checked over. When he hung up, he informed me that my dad would meet us by the door, and we'd go from there.

Before we left, I caught a quick glance at the computer screen and frowned.

I had a feeling I knew what triggered it.

I got to my car as quickly as possible, Jasper helping me open the doors and buckle Bella in the backseat. He slid in next to her, making sure she was alright as I hurried over to my side, jumping in and starting up the car before rushing out of the parking lot.

Bella didn't stir.

When I pulled to the front of the large brick building, Jasper and I hopped out quickly and I reached in the back to get Bella.

Carlisle was by the door when we entered, holding a chart in his hands. He looked up at the sound of our footsteps and saw us, set the chart down and rushed over to help.

"Okay, what happened?" he asked as he checked her over as much as he could where we were.

Jasper gave him a rundown of what had happened and Carlisle _mhmed_ and _ahhed _before bringing us to an empty room.

"Alright Edward, set her down on the bed." I followed his orders and watched as he hooked her up to the machines; making everything seem that much worse.

I watched as my dad checked over her vitals again, making sure everything was accurate before jotting some things down on her chart.

"Dad?" I asked; wanting to know what was happening. He held up a finger, silently telling me to wait and finished up.

He folded the chart under his arms and took off his reading glasses, sticking them in his chest pocket. "Okay, from what you told me, Jasper, and the way her body responded, I'd say it wasn't anything more than a sever anxiety attack. Sometimes, when the body goes through too much stress, it'll shut down to protect itself; sort of like shutting off a computer and rebooting it shortly after. That's why she's unconscious. Regularly it lasts only a few short minutes, but depending on the severity, it may be longer. She'll be fine; it's just a waiting game as to when she'll wake up," he said, speaking to us both. I nodded in understanding, I've seen Emmett have anxiety attacks when we were younger, but he had never passed out because of them.

The thought alone was scary.

"Have either of you contacted her father?" Carlisle then asked, going back to Bella's chart. I shook my head 'no'; that wasn't my first priority, she was.

Carlisle nodded and went to alert the secretary to make the call, telling her the basics to relay onto the Chief so that he would know the circumstances weren't serious.

She was in the hospital, but she was okay.

I looked at Jasper who was looking at Bella. "What do you think caused it?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged. I knew what had caused it, or at least I had a good idea, but I couldn't betray Bella's trust so I simply stayed quiet.

It was another couple of minutes before Bella began to awake. She was groggy and disoriented but other than that she seemed to be okay. She looked around the room, cringing when she realized where she was, before her eyes landed on me and she cracked her first smile.

I returned it sadly. "Hey," I whispered, grabbing her hand and rubbing soothing circles on the back. Jasper stepped out quietly, trying to give us our space.

"Hi," she rasped out before looking around again. "What happened?"

I sighed. "You had an anxiety attack, a pretty bad one, but you're fine," I reassured her. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked gently. She shook her head 'no'. I understood; she'd tell me in her own time.

The nurse came in then, unhooking the unnecessary machines and handed Bella a glass of cold water. Bella thanked her, eyeing the drink appreciatively.

We stayed quiet for awhile until my father came back in, followed by a gruff looking man I knew to be Bella's father.

At least I wasn't in her closet...

Charlie sighed when he saw Bella awake and walked over. I don't think he even noticed me.

"Hey kiddo, you okay?" he asked, looking down at his daughter with a mixture of adoration and worry. Bella gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, Dad."

Carlisle then went on to explain the circumstances, what had happened and some examples of things that may have triggered it.

And then he told me to leave.

I started to argue but Charlie gave me a look that told me to get the fuck out.

I gulped, looking back at Bella apologetically before stepping out of the room.

Five minutes later, Jasper stopped my pacing outside of the door by asking what happened so far. I filled him in, every few seconds glancing back at the closed door.

About fifteen painfully long minutes later, Charlie and my dad stepped out; going to talk privately I assumed. I sighed and rushed back in to see Bella.

"Hey," I said, as I took my place back at her side. She gave me a soft smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

I knew better than to ask about it now. Plus, she looked exhausted.

"I guess we have to postpone the date, huh?" she asked sadly.

I frowned, I had forgotten all about the date up until then; my mind being solely on Bella being here.

I didn't want to have to wait.

But, again, I understood.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Just focus on your rest and we can do it tomorrow instead if you're feeling better," I told her, trying to mask my own disappointment with, what I hoped was, a reassuring smile.

She gave me a small nod and stayed quiet.

A few minutes later both our dad's returned with the news that Bella was free to go. She smiled slightly, but it was tired and weak. I frowned; this whole day took a lot out of her.

I was about to follow her out when a large hand gripped my shoulder, holding me back. I turned around, looking Carlisle in the eye.

"Let her go with her father, Edward, you'll have plenty of time to see her tomorrow," his voice was stern, a warning of sorts, and his lips were pursed into an uneven line. I glared at him; it may only be a day, but to me it was going to be excruciating. He sighed. "Go back to school Edward, its lunchtime and you still have the rest of the day." I started to protest but he gave me a look that told me to do what he said. "Oh, and be home right after school, we need to talk," and with that, he grabbed his things and left the room.

I stood, staring at the blank white walls before sighing. The room felt so empty.

My shoulders hunched as I walked out. Jasper was sitting in one of the waiting chairs reading a magazine that entitled 'Environment'. I rolled my eyes and called over to him, "Jasper!" His head snapped up, searching for the intrusion before his eyes found me. He quickly put the ridicules thing down and came over.

"Hey, how's Bella?" he asked. He knew she was okay from what I had told him earlier, so I knew he wasn't talking about physically. I shrugged, throwing on my Ray-Bans as we exited the hospital.

"She's fine." I unlocked my car and we both hopped in, I revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot.

Jasper glanced over to me. "And you?" he asked. I looked over to him questionably. "Are you fine?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"Carlisle's being a dick. I wanted to go with Bella but he practically forbade me, telling me to go back to school. Like one fucking day is going to make a difference," I muttered, my foot inclining further on the gas pedal.

Jasper looked thoughtful. "Well, do you know what he and Charlie were talking about earlier? It might have something to do with that," He offered as I passed by several houses and a bunch of trees. I shrugged; I didn't care what it was about, it didn't make it suck any less.

We were both quiet when I pulled into the school lot and parked. It was still lunchtime and by now, I'm sure everyone had heard about Bella's accident.

I climbed out, Jasper following my lead, and locked the doors. I looked up and groaned, realizing everyone was staring.

Fucking everyone.

Jasper didn't say a word, for which I was thankful, and we both made our way to the cafeteria to find our friends.

"Eddie!" Emmett boomed, his loud voice echoing over the quiet murmurs of curious students. I frowned at the nickname, but let it drop knowing his intention wasn't to bother me.

This time.

Jazz and I walked over to our table where our friends sat patiently, waiting for the real story.

"She's okay," I started. I heard them all let out a long breath and felt bad for not texting them to let them know sooner.

"What happened?" Alice asked quietly, glaring at the few brave souls who were leaning into our conversation. I followed her lead, sitting down and speaking softly.

"There's not much to it." – _That I can tell you – _"She had and anxiety attack, was unconscious for about ten to fifteen minutes and then came to," I explained. Emmett frowned and I knew what he was thinking.

Having gone through many himself he could relate. He may be huge and looked intimidating, but his heart was golden and, if he could, he'd shoulder any and all of the people he loves' pain.

I patted him on the back, for both comfort and as a silent thank you; him caring about Bella meant a lot to me.

After Jasper and I both answered everyone's questions to the best of our abilities, we finished lunch and headed to class.

The entire day dragged on, taunting me; each tick of the clock audible, every tap of a foot or the light sounds of people writing with their pencils.

I heard everything.

Except the teacher.

When the day finally ended I was sweaty and sore from gym and had a wikid headache, I grabbed a bottle of water from the machines and headed to my car to go home.

This 'talk' Carlisle wanted to have made me nervous, mostly because I didn't do anything wrong.

Usually I'm prepared, knowing to some extent what it would be about and what I'd have to deny, but today I was going in blind.

And it was pretty fucking terrifying.

I pulled into my driveway and walked as slowly as I could to the door, gulping before pushing the large antique open.

Dad was already home, so I assumed things at the hospital were slow. He was sitting at the kitchen table reading the rest of the morning paper. I shut the door as quietly as I could and took off my shoes; he hadn't looked up so I figured he didn't hear me come in. Slowly I tiptoed towards the stares, in an effort for it to remain that way.

"Nice try," he called over to me, not even looking up. I took a deep breath and pulled a one eighty, going to sit across from him at the table.

It was quiet; the only sound was that of him switching the pages of the noisy paper. I drummed my fingers nervously on the table, trying to remain patient.

And sane.

Eventually he reached the end and sighed, folding the paper up and pushing it aside.

"How much about Bella's past did she tell you?" he asked, jumping straight to the point. At first I was taken aback, but then I thought about it; he was a doctor, he read her files. Of course he would know.

"Everything," I told him firmly, looking him straight in the eye. For a split seconded he looked surprised, but he masked it quickly.

"So you know about her son?" he quirked up an eyebrow, as if he thought I didn't or that I was lying.

"Yes," I said, unfazed. What he did next both surprised and confused me.

He smiled.

"What?" I all but growled; I didn't know why he felt the need to question me.

His smile grew sad. "I was hoping she did." He took a deep breath. "Edward, by talking to you now, I'm breaking patient/doctor confidentiality laws. The only reason I'm even asking this of you is because you both seem to really care about each other and I think you can help," he told me earnestly.

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I looked over at my father, his face held sorrow and my heart clenched knowing it had something to do with my Bella. I frowned, trying to make sense of his cryptic statement. "I don't understand," I decided. "Ask me what?"

He sighed, setting his glasses on the table and running a hand through his hair. "Edward, I think Bella should go to therapy."

My breath caught; therapy? He thought she needed therapy?

"Why?" I found myself asking.

He took a second to collect his thoughts – or maybe let me process mine – before speaking. "What she went through isn't something that can be easily mended and, although I do agree that people handle things differently, Bella is obviously having a hard time coping with everything. The fact that she was even pregnant at such a young age is extremely difficult, let alone loosing the baby," he explained but he didn't need to.

I had already thought that she should go that day she told me everything, because I knew I could only do so much to help.

But it was the fact that he thought so to and he didn't even know half of it that bothered me.

He only knew about what was in her medical records, not that the father of said child completely blew her off – while and after the pregnancy. He also didn't know the torment she had suffered for months after the fact from those bastards at her old school; constantly reminding her of her loss and placing the blame solely on her.

It had to have been traumatic.

The anxiety attack she suffered this morning, triggered from something so small and mediocre – but hit her so hard, was only one example to why she should go.

I knew this and I understood. I just didn't want to pressure her into something she didn't want or feel comfortable it.

I didn't want to push her away.

But if he wanted me to ask, I would; for her.

Carlisle stared at me expectantly and I realized I had been quiet for some time now. I took a deep breath.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

He smiled warmly at me. "Just talk to her about it. She wouldn't even consider it when I brought it up today but she might listen to you." He cleared his throat and moved to stand up. "Just ease into the subject, Edward. As much as she's been through and as strong as she is, it's still fresh. And if she doesn't want to do it, well, we tried. Keep supporting her; that's all you can do," and with that he walked by, giving me a gentle pat on the back before walking up the stairs.

I stayed where I was, absorbing all he told me.

Therapy would be good for Bella but if she didn't think so, it would be pointless. She'd need to be open for it to work, and I'd need to be supportive.

I could do that.

Suddenly, determined, I stood up. Bella's song wasn't finished yet.

And I had a new shitload of inspiration.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Sorry. That's all I can say. I hope you guys like it, I personally did. I think it's a big step in the story. It shows that everything that happened to Bella wasn't just pushed aside and that it still affects her, like it would/should in real life.

There's no easy fix and everyone's different.

Review and tell me what you think.

- Janicee.


	25. Coping

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 25: Coping **

**Bella Swan**

When I woke up and looked around I knew exactly where I was.

I had spent enough time in one of those small single beds with uncomfortable sheets, staring at those ungodly white walls to know a hospital when I saw one.

But the question was _why?_

Edward and Jasper were standing above my bed when I had woken, and while Jasper moved to leave Edward quickly came to my side, offering up the information I craved.

I had had an anxiety attack.

It wasn't my first, although I've never passed out because of one.

And everything came flashing back.

_His eyes._

I'd never know.

I frowned but quickly masked it when Edward asked if I wanted to talk about it.

I didn't.

I was gratefully chugging down the glass of water my new favorite nurse handed me when the hot doctor came in; I'm talking beautiful blond hair, gorgeous face and piercing ocean blue eyes. He explained – in much more detail than Edward – the entirety of the situation, along with a few examples of what could have caused it.

I already knew.

What I didn't know, was that the hot doctor was Edward's father.

That had been a very pleasant surprise.

Dr. Cullen ordered Edward out in a firm, fatherly tone. Edward flashed me an apologetic look as he turned to leave; like it was his fault.

I wanted to roll my eyes but, instead, just smiled back at retreating form.

When the door closed with a soft click the tension in the room grew tangible. The two men, my father and Edward's, looked down at me with clear concern. I gulped.

Dr. Cullen sighed, putting on his glasses before looking back down at his – my – chart. "Isabella-"

"Bella., I interrupted. He looked down at me and smiled apologetically before correcting himself.

"Bella, then. I've read over some of your medical files and-" He cut himself off. "Do you know what triggered this attack?" he asked me, the professional tone replaced with a more compassionate one.

I looked down at my lap, twirling my fingers around and offered him a small nod.

He didn't seem surprised. "I'm sorry to bring this up, but does it have anything to do with your son?" My head snapped up, he looked sad, like he really didn't want to bring it up. I nodded again. "Has this happened before? Or was this the first time?" he questioned, writing down my answers on his chart. My dad stayed quiet beside me, not adding to the conversation but absorbing carefully.

I frowned. "It's happened two other times; this was the worst."

The doctor hummed. "And, have you ever thought of seeking professional help?"

My face scrunched up. "You mean a therapist?"

He smiled down at me in what seemed to be a reassuring gesture and nodded.

"I went to one up in Phoenix, sort of," I told him.

Mrs. O'Brian was my old school's guidance counsellor.

After the school found out what had happened, I had to speak with her at least once a week, to see how I was coping. Though it wasn't my choice of an outlet, it was something I needed, something that was just for _me_. Regardless, I never talked much, it was hard to really open up, so she told me other ways that might help, like writing in my journal. She saw firsthand what I had gone through and was still going through around the school, so she understood, to the most part, that sometimes I just needed to be alone.

"'Sort of'?" Dr. Cullen prompted.

I shrugged. "She wasn't exactly a therapist; she was the school's guidance counsellor," I explained.

He nodded. "And did that help?" he asked gently.

I thought back; I guess it helped a little to get some of it off my chest, but I could never be one hundred percent open with her, I could only tell her the story like how I told Edward; void of all emotion. That's why she told me to write.

'_If you don't feel comfortable voicing your feelings to others, why don't you write them down?' _she had said.

It took a little time but eventually I was able to open up and allow myself to release the emotions I had locked up onto paper.

I nodded. "It helped a little."

"What about seeing another therapist?" he asked.

My head snapped up. "No."

Talking to Mrs. O'Brian had been hard enough, and if she helped, it was only a little. My writing was what kept me grounded.

He looked a little taken aback by my strong response. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair – looking unmistakably like Edward. "We have plenty of pamphlets with more information, and I know a few therapists personally who work very well with people in similar situations as yours. I think it'll be –"

"No," I cut him off. I didn't care about his pamphlets and I didn't want to talk to another stranger, it was hard enough just writing it down. Plus, writing _was _my therapy.

"Bells," my dad chimed in, using my childhood nickname. I turned to look at him; his face held sorrow. "This could be good for you." He tried to reason.

"I can handle it," I gritted out. I wanted this conversation to end. I wanted to go home.

I wanted Edward.

"We're not doubting you," he attested. "This isn't about your strength or your willpower. You've handled everything much better than I thought you would when you first came down here, but you can't do this alone."

"I've been doing this alone for almost a year now," I defended. He looked a little hurt and I sighed. "Dad, I have you and Mom, and now Edward. I don't need some stranger who's probably never been through what I have to tell me how to deal with it. I'm fine."

Dr. Cullen stayed quiet throughout our argument. He knew this was personal and a decision I would have to make on my own. He was smart, but the decision was already made.

"Dr. Cullen," I turned away from my father and looked the doctor in the eye. "Thank you for helping me today, and for your concern, but I'm not going to therapy. When can I go home?"

And that was the end of that conversation.

For now.

Charlie and Dr. Cullen left to fill out the forms and twenty minutes later I was clear to leave, frowning.

Edward and I wouldn't get to have our date.

The nurse brought over a wheelchair, insisting that it was protocol, but I just scowled, refusing to be pushed around when I could walk perfectly fine.

I got up out of the bed after saying goodbye to the doctor and followed Charlie out the door. I looked behind me, somewhat surprised that Edward wasn't there but shrugged it off and continued on my way.

When I got home I collapsed on my bed, despite being in one just minutes ago.

I was exhausted.

I grabbed my journal out of my nightstand and just read through some of what I had already written; the journal was three quarters full of my messy scrawl, of repeated thoughts and fears, even dreams. It allowed me to get everything out without actually talking to anyone, but was this really all I needed? If this was helping would I have really freaked out like I did today?

I'd like to think yes, but if it was helping, why did it all still hurt so much?

I pulled out a pen, writing out everything that happened today, everything I didn't allow myself to speak of; all my thoughts and worries. When I was done, I felt more than a little relieved, kind of like this was what was waiting to escape me, and nestled myself deeper into the comfort of my bed, tucking the dark leather book under my arm as I drifted off to sleep.

--

This time when I heard tap on my window I knew who to expect. I jumped out of bed, quickly checking my door to make sure it was locked, and groggily made my way over to the window to open it up.

"What do you want?" I asked playfully. Edward smiled up at me, holding a backpack in his arms.

"Can I come up?"

Pft, like I'd say 'no'.

I nodded and watched as he threw on the bag and manoeuvred his way up the tree. When he got to the roof he made the leap and walked over to my window before handing me the bag and climbing through.

"So," I started, trying to sneak a peek in the bag. He caught on and grabbed it back. "What are you doing here?" I rocked back and forth on my feet. He led me over to my bed.

"After thinking about it, I really didn't want us to have to postpone our date, so I just relocated it," he said as he started unloading some of the bag's contents.

I laughed. "P, B and J sandwiches?" I asked as I took the one he handed me. He smiled at me, taking a large bite.

"It's all I really know how to make that I could bring over," he explained after he swallowed. I rolled my eyes teasingly and proceeded to eat my food.

We talked a little about insignificant things while we ate, occasionally laughing quietly at some lame joke or ridiculous thought.

When we were finished, the happy little bubble that seemed to be floating around us popped and things got noticeably more serious. Edward looked at me, sighed and took my hand.

"Bella," he started, making my throat go dry; this is where he tells me that everything is just _too_ much.

I looked down at our hands, frowning as I watched his thumb trace over my knuckles.

"My dad and I talked after I got home from the school." He cleared his throat, seeming troubled. "Well, um, Bella?"

I couldn't take the sullen tone his voice was taking and looked up, my eyes immediately finding home in his deep green irises. He looked pensive, a little sad but mostly frustrated.

"Just say it Edward." I sighed, looking back down at our hands. If he was going to end this, whatever '_this'_ was, then he needed to get it done. The anticipation was brutal.

"I think you should go to therapy," he blurted out, taking a huge breath afterward. My head snapped up just in time to watch him run a hand through his hair.

Just like his father.

"What?" I asked, my eyes narrowing into slits. I had my reasons to say 'no', the doctor had no right to sic his son on me.

He gulped.

_Good._

"It's just; I think it would be better if you had someone to talk to, someone _professional,_" he tagged on at the end. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

'_You thought about this earlier_,' I reminded myself. '_It could be good._'

But it hurts.

"Edward?" my voice came out meeker than I anticipated. He looked at me and nodded, telling me he was listening. "I just can't, not yet. Okay?" I almost begged. He smiled softly, pulling me into his arms.

"Just tell me when you're ready," he said into my hair. I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms over his.

'_If I'll ever be ready_,' I thought sadly.

We stayed that way for awhile, rocking slightly in each others' arms before eventually finding ourselves snuggled together across my bed.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was tired and raspy, sending shivers down my spine. I smiled into his chest.

"Yes, Edward?"

"I really like you," he said simply.

My smile grew as I looked up at him, he was on the verge of falling asleep, his eyes closed and a little strand of hair was hanging over his face. I reached up and swiped it away.

"I really like you, too," I whispered, watching as his lips twitched into an easy smile.

It was quiet again, and past midnight. I sighed and inhaled Edward's musky scent.

"Bella?" he said again.

I giggled. "Yes, Edward?"

He hesitated for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked quietly.

My heart swelled as I took in his half-sleep appearance; his face looked worried and I reached up, smoothing out the lines on his forehead.

"Of course," I finally answered. He cracked open an eye, looking at me with pure adoration before hugging me closer.

I closed my eyes, relishing in everything as I burrowed myself deeper in his embrace.

"Bella?" Edward said quietly.

I yawned, not opening my eyes in fear of losing the moment. "Yes, Edward?" I spoke equally as quiet.

"G'night," he mumbled.

I sighed, happily. "Goodnight, Edward."

And with that, we both found peace.

If only for the night.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Alriiiiiighty. You know that whole saying 'write what you know'? That's what I'm doing. With Bella's therapy situation, I'm writing with my own personal issues, which is hard so it might not come out all that great because I still haven't completely sorted through it all. But I'll give you a rundown...

I've spoken with both therapists and guidance counselors and, from experience; I liked my guidance counsellor better. (More open and talkative, like a friend, as opposed to all professional and mainly quiet)

What my/Bella's issue here is that it's hard enough to open up to someone to begin with, let alone a stranger, she – here – has already done this once (to some extent) and knows this. She doesn't want to do it again. So she's thumbs down for therapy as of now.

Leave love.

- Janicee.


	26. Because of Her

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 26: Because of Her. **

**Edward Cullen**

I woke up with absolutely no clue where I was; until I looked down to see Bella curled up in my arms and everything that happened last night came bouncing back.

_It wasn't a dream; she really said 'yes'._

I smiled down at her, _my girlfriend, _because that's really all I could do.

I was just happy.

After working on the piano, it was obvious the tune I was playing.

I missed her.

Already.

So, instead of taking her on the date I planned to ask her out on, I brought the date to her.

We joked around, being careful to stay quiet incase the Chief woke up, and just did whatever.

But my dad's words haunted me.

'_What she went through isn't something that can easily be mended..._'

'_Bella is obviously having a hard time coping..._'

'_Just ease into the subject, Edward..._'

So, stupidly, I blurted out that I thought she should go to therapy.

_Yeah, good start Dickward._

She, in her own right, flipped. But I did my best to smooth it out, trying to reassure her that I didn't mean anything hurtful by it, but I just wanted her to _feel _better; emotionally. In which case she'd need someone who knew what they were doing to really help.

And then she broke down.

"I just can't, not yet. Okay?" she had said; her voice so small and broken. There was true pain under laced in her words so I nodded and took her in my arms, not wanting to push her too far. She said 'not yet' and I could live with that, this would have to be of her own accord anyways.

Bella stirred in my arms and I smiled as her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning," she whispered, her voice filled with sleep. I gently swiped the hair out of her eyes.

"Good morning."

She yawned, stretching her arms. "What time is it?" I grabbed my phone.

"Past eight," I told her, setting it back down on her night stand.

She nodded, and moved to stand up. She walked over towards her door but suddenly froze and slowly turned to face me, her eyes widening.

"Holy shit, you're my boyfriend!" she hollered. I let out a boisterous laugh and nodded.

"Yep."

Cue the blush.

She held up a finger, "Uh, just... just give me a minute, okay?" she asked nervously, rushing out the door and shutting it behind her. I laughed, she was completely ridiculous.

There was a bunch of banging, a loud crash and a few choice words coming from the bathroom across the hall before I heard the water running. I shook my head, laying back down and closed my eyes.

Bella came back in a few minutes later, her hair thrown into a messy bun. I grinned and beckoned her over.

_My_ girl.

She walked over and shyly sat down next to me, where I promptly wrapped her up in my embrace, inhaling her delicious scent.

"Can I have a good morning kiss from my _girlfriend_?" I asked cheekily. She looked up at me all pink-cheeked and bit her lip, nodding.

It was strange yet intriguing that she could one day insinuate the kiss, out in the open and have me pull away, no blush and the next shy as they get. She's passionate, corky, kind, strong willed and coy all in the same.

I leaned down, playfully nudging my nose against hers before tilting my head and capturing her lips with my own. Her lips were soft and moist, her breath minty fresh and I hoped to God mine wasn't that bad. I slowly pulled back, keeping the kiss closed mouthed and chaste before laying one last small peck on her lips and pulling away.

I smiled down at her as she snuggled in my arms, tracing shapes along my chest.

"You know," she started, her voice was small. "You're my first _real_ boyfriend when I think about it," she stated, continuing her ministrations. "I don't really know _how_ to be a girlfriend."

I frowned, twirling my fingers through a loose curl. She doubted herself, like how I did that day in the clearing. She didn't want to be bad at this, at _us_, she wanted it to work; and so did I.

"We'll learn together," I suggested, looking down at her. She spun around, laying her head on her folded arms as she smiled back up at me.

"Okay," she agreed, nodding. "What's first?"

I thought about it. "We had our first and second date." I ticked off my fingers. "Our first kiss and our life stories." I hummed. "What about group dates?" I asked. "We haven't really done anything together outside of school or my house," I commented. She nodded.

"We could go up to Port Angeles and see a movie," she offered. I smiled and grabbed my phone. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Texting Alice, she'll get everyone together," I told her as I sent the text. A few minutes later my phone beeped with a list of movies to choose from.

The next five minutes were spent deciding on our vote. We chose the comedy, opting for something to brighten up everyone's mood since yesterday sucked hard core. Luckily the rest agreed.

"What are we going to do until we leave?" Bella asked, playing with my phone. I shrugged.

"What do you want to do?" I countered.

She thought for a minute. "You lived here longer, what is there to do?" I laughed.

"Are we really playing this game?" I looked at her pointedly, humor in my eyes.

She smiled. "Isn't that another thing about relationships, though?" she asked. "That whole 'you hang up first' stage?" She tilted her head adorably.

"I see you're point." I nodded. "So... what do you want to do?" She giggled as I leaned down, placing a quick, playful kiss on her lips.

Eventually we both agreed to compromise, offering one thing to do each.

She wanted to play video games, something that both shocked and allured me.

When I asked her why, she gave me a small smile and said, "When you spend a lot of time alone, you get bored easily."

I frowned but quickly masked it and told her my idea.

I wanted us to go swimming in the springs, which may or may not have to do with the thought of her in a bikini.

She stared at me like I grew a dinosaur from my leg.

"Swimming?" she coughed out. "As in outdoors in the cold Forks' air half naked?" I rolled my eyes.

"Its spring Bella, it's not that cold." She raised her eyebrow. "Okay, so it's a little cold. But the springs are warm; once you get in them you'll be fine."

She sighed. "Fine, but we're totally playing video games when we get back," she said as she stood up to get ready.

She took about five minutes to gather her things and then we were off towards my house to get mine.

"Do your parents know you slept over?" she turned and asked me when I pulled into the drive. I shook my head.

"Emmett covered for me. Told them I left early to go to the meadow." She nodded in understanding and we both hopped out, walking hand-in-hand in the house.

"Good morning, Edward," Esme called, coming out from the kitchen. She looked up at me in shock when she noticed Bella. "Oh, hello dear," she greeted her, glancing back at me in question.

"Bella, this is Esme; my mom." I pointed in Esme's general area. "Mom, this is Bella; my girlfriend." I looked down at her with a smile as Esme did the same.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Bella. I'm just finishing up breakfast now; we can't all be early risers like my Edward here." She gave me a knowing look. I smiled innocently at her. "Would you like to stay?" she offered.

Bella blushed and looked up at me. I shrugged and nodded, we skipped food and I was hungry.

I excused myself and Esme guided Bella into the kitchen. I walked up the stairs, smiling ear-to-ear at how well they were getting along; their laughter floating through the house.

I hurried through changing and threw in an extra pair of shorts and a towel in my bag before leaving my room.

"Edward?" Esme called. I walked to the head of the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Can you please tell your brother that breakfast is ready?" she asked sweetly.

"Uh, sure Mom." I walked over to Emmett's room and knocked.

"Em?" No answer. I opened the door.

Empty.

"Em?" I yelled a bit louder. I heard a crash and a few choice words come from the games room and shook my head before following the sounds.

When I opened the door Emmett was sitting in a mess of controllers and games, staring around him sadly.

"Lose again?" I quipped. He looked up and narrowed his eyes.

"No, dipshit, I can't find _Halo_ three," he told me, his voice only slightly whinny at the end. I rolled my eyes.

"Did you check _in_ the xbox?" I asked, smiling cheekily. His face went blank.

"Uh, _pft,_ yes," he said, his eyes betraying him as he glanced at the thing in question. I chuckled and turned to leave.

"Oh," I hollered. "Food's ready." There was another small noise as he answered.

"Okay, I'll be down in a – _yes, there you are_ – uh, minute," he finished lamely. I laughed and walked downstairs.

Breakfast was quick, just the way I liked it. Carlisle had already gone into work so Bella and I only had to sit through Esme's questions, which consisted of 'Where did you grow up, Bella?', 'How did you like Phoenix?', 'When did you guys start dating?'. All in all, it was pretty painless. That is, until mother dearest pulled me aside.

"Excuse us for a minute, dear," Esme told Bella, leaving her and Emmett alone while she man handled me out of the room.

"Ow." I rubbed my shoulder. She rolled her eyes – which were sparkling in mirth – and crossed her arms.

"Is she the one?" she asked eagerly, glancing back in the kitchen. I scratched the back of my head, looking at her questionably. She huffed. "The _one_... you know, the girl from the song?" she clarified.

_Oh._

I smiled and nodded. Esme beamed and clapped happily.

"Oh, Edward, she's wonderful. I'm so happy for you," she told me, hugging me tightly. I patted her a few times on the back before letting go.

"Thanks Ma." I grinned, turning to go back into the kitchen.

Bella and Emmett were happily joking around, well... Emmett was happily joking around while Bella sat there blushing adorably. I cleared my throat, causing both to turn.

"Ready to go?" I asked her. She smiled gratefully, and said goodbye to Emmett and my mother. "We're gonna meet everyone at six right, Em?" I asked my brother as I headed towards the door.

"Yup," he hollered back through a mouthful of food. I cringed, shaking my head as I closed the front door behind me.

Bella and I both hopped into the car and I smiled, handing her my iPod. "Pick a song," I told her when she looked at me curiously. Her mouth twitched into a smile of her own and she nodded, scrolling through my songs before choosing one. I listened for the intro and chuckled lightly as it flowed through the speakers, looking over at this amazingly fuckawesome girl beside me.

"'Smile'?" I asked, grinning as I started the car. She shrugged mouthing along with the chores.

"I've always loved Uncle Kracker," she explained when she was done, turning the stereo down some. "I _am_ surprised, though, that you have this song." I turned to look at her briefly, shrugging.

"I don't fuck around when it comes to music, I like everything good," I told her honestly.

She hummed. "Oh, I know. You told me that day in gym remember?" she reminded me. "I guess I'm just surprised that you think it's good." I gaped at her, but quickly looked back at the road.

"It puts me in a good mood," I explained. "If I'm upset, or pissed for whatever reason, this song picks me up." I was quiet for a minute as I listened to the lyrics. I pulled down the trail towards the springs and parked, turning to look at her seriously. "It was never true until now, though," I told her honestly.

She bit her lip, looking down at her hands as that taunting blush coloured her cheeks. I chuckled quietly and reached over, tilting her chin up, to place a short, sweet kiss on her lips.

"Come on." I reached in the back and grabbed our bags before hopping out and rounding the car to take Bella's hand.

We walked through the path until the sound of running water was clear through the forest. I tugged Bella down the trail and towards the large rock that sat near the edge of the water and we sat down.

"It's so pretty," Bella said in awe as she glanced around. I had lived here all my life, and had been here many, many times. I had even learned to swim in these very springs

So looking around now, at a place I was so familiar with, I felt pretty indifferent. But, to someone who's never seen the springs before, I could see what they'd see; the large rock wall covered with veins and leaves and flowers, water pouring from the top in an imperfect formation, pooling into the calm water below; a small rainbow tracing the cloudlike mist.

I could see the beauty.

I nodded, walking over to feel the temperature. It was warm, like bathwater, and I smiled, flicking some water at Bella.

She squealed and hopped off the rock, hiding behind it and glaring at me.

"Don't!" She giggled, pointing a finger at me. My smiled grew and, slowly, I took off my shirt; enjoying the momentarily dazed look on Bella's face before she shook herself out of it.

I laughed and chucked my shirt at her, kicking off my shoes and shrugging out of my pants until all I was wearing were my swimming trunks.

She stared hungrily, only adding to my delight. "Like what you see?" I taunted. She snapped her eyes back to mine and glared, crossing her arms.

"Nope," she lied. I rolled my eyes playfully and climbed on the rock, looking back at her with a sly smile.

"Better duck," I yelled before jumping into the still water in the form of a cannonball. I heard her squeal from under the water and smiled, coming up for air.

"Ugh." She huffed. "I'm all wet," she complained. I smirked at her, raising an eyebrow, and she rolled her eyes. "From the _water_," she clarified. I laughed loudly as she glared.

"Coming in?" I asked, floating around. The sky was cloudy, as always, but the sun was peeking through. "The waters nice," I commented, trying to persuade her. I didn't hear anything so, curiously, I looked back over.

She wasn't there.

I stood up, the water reaching just below my shoulders, and looked around; worried. "Bella?" I called.

Nothing.

No answer.

"Bella?" I called again, my eyes searching the area.

I heard rustling in a bush nearby and spun around, trying to spot her long mahogany hair through the surrounding green, but never could.

My brows scrunched together curiously and I moved to get out of the water but stopped by the sounds of a loud "Cannonball!" and turned around just in time to get splashed in the face.

I started shaking the water out of my hair but froze – eyes wide – as Bella rose from the water, the small ray of sunlight peeking from the clouds shining down on her.

_Jesus boner inducing Christ. _

She was wearing one of those fuckhot two-piece in disguise as a one piece bathing suits. It was bright blue with spots of white and looked almost like a bikini, if it wasn't for that small section that guided up her tone stomach, only covering a portion of the skin there.

I drooled.

"Damn," I muttered, stepping towards her. She smiled slyly, the shy girl gone.

"Like what you see?" she mocked, spinning around to show me the bare skin of her back. I coughed, adjusted myself and shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant.

She didn't buy it.

She smiled and dove back underneath the water and I spun around, trying to find her.

Soft hands crawled up my chest from behind me and I grinned turning around and wrapping my arms around Bella's waist.

"Okay, maybe a little," I whispered against her lips. She grinned, placing a chaste kiss there before dunking me in the water.

I laughed as I came up for air and squinted my eyes at her. She gulped and slowly back away, deeper into the water.

I grinned mischievously, slowly following – like a lion on the hunt – before pouncing on her and dunking her in too.

We played like that for what seemed like hours; dunking and splashing each other like little kids in a kiddie pool, occasionally taking a break to cling to one another, lips on lips, as we floated around peacefully.

I don't think I've ever had as much fun, or smiled so much in one day.

But one thing I did know...

Was that it was all because of her.

**

* * *

Author's Note: **Okay, I hoped you liked the fluff. I thought it was cute. Before I get asked about everything that happened to Bella yesterday, and how she's acting pretty normal now, you don't see what she's thinking through Edward's eyes. She puts on a pretty good show, even when she's hurting.

From experience though, I always look at a new day as just that and try to forget the yesterdays. So that's what my Bella's doing. Even if she's hurting, she'll put that aside for others' sake.

Next chapter's in Bella's point of view for when they head up to PA for the movies. Hopefully you'll see more of what I mean.

Leave love.

- Janicee.


	27. Fears

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 27: Fears**

**Bella Swan**

I forgot.

At first, I just didn't want to dwell on everything that had happened; I did that too much. So I faked it. I put on a happy face and went about the day doing my best to stay in the present, smiling and chatting with everyone like how I would normally do had yesterday not happened and reopened wounds that weren't completely healed to begin with.

And talking with Esme had been easy. The questions she asked weren't too personal, or rather were just personal opinions on inconsequential things. Like what I thought about the weather in Phoenix. It brought me back to that place, but didn't let me in too deep, and for that I was grateful.

The only time I was nervous with her, was when Edward left. But she put me at ease quickly.

"Thank you," Esme told me when Edward walked up the stairs and out of hearing range. I looked at her curiously; I didn't do anything to deserve her gratitude. She noticed my expression and smiled warmly at me, taking my hands in her own. "I wasn't blind to the way Edward treated women before you. I knew stuff." She smiled knowingly with a hint of sadness behind her eyes. "But I like to think that now, even in this short time; he's learned his wrongs and is making up for himself by you, _because_ of you," she told me.

I smiled back at her, it was tense and awkward. I could never take compliments of any sort well. I shrugged and squeezed her hands.

After that, we ate breakfast. The only thing that was out of ordinary, to me, was when Esme pulled Edward aside and came back all teary-eyed and wanting hug me.

And, of course, Emmett's teasing.

"So... Bella," he started. I looked at him and nodded waiting for whatever nonsense would come out of his mouth next. "What are your intentions with my brother?" he asked innocently, his eyes wide. I laughed and shook my head.

He blinked.

I bit my lip. "Um, my intentions? Hmm..." I really didn't know.

What _were _my intentions with Edward?

I shrugged. "I guess I'm just going to see how it goes?" It came out like a question and I briefly remembered that list of stuff I _still _needed to work on.

Emmett didn't hesitate. "Oh, I understand. You want to test out the ride before you by your ticket." He nodded understandingly. I gaped at him.

No.

Not at all.

"Uh, what?"

His face stayed serious. "You know, make sure the toy works before you take it home."

I blushed.

Toy?

Was he serious?

"Are you serious?"

Ha laughed and shook his head. "Fuck no; I just wanted to make you blush."

And then Edward stepped in.

We talked and laughed and Edward said some really sweet things in the car, and I was thinking about how I hadn't given him a chance from the beginning, but then I remembered he was a douche.

But now he was all sweet and like how a boyfriend _should _be and I didn't know what to do, but I'd try.

And then the bastard splashed me with water.

We played and goofed around and kissed and were just happy.

And I forgot.

"Edward?" I asked as we got out of the water and got out our towels.

"Hmm?" He hummed, drying himself off.

"Why is it so easy with you?" That may have been a stupid question, but I wanted to know. It had never been this easy with James; I felt like I was always placating him and giving him what he wanted and never getting anything in return.

Like how he never wanted to go out.

Ever.

Edward looked at me, tilting his head for a second before shaking the water out of his hair.

He reminded me of a wet dog and I laughed.

"What?" he asked. I kept laughing and shook my head. Edward grinned, walking towards me.

"Nothing!" I squealed when he lunged at me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his cold, wet chest.

He nibbled at my ear and I smiled. He was cute.

"You didn't answer my question," I pointed out. I felt him shrug.

"I don't know why it's easy, maybe because it's _right_?" he offered. I thought about it. I certainly had a good grasp on what a _wrong_ relationship was like, and this was anything but. Even one day in. I nodded. "Come on," he told me, taking my towel and drying me off for me. I looked down at him with an amused expression and he just rolled his eyes, continuing on.

We finished drying off and went our separate ways into the forest to change. I wasn't ready to show myself to him just yet.

When we were dressed and warm we sat on the rock together watching the water sway.

"What time is it?" I asked, cuddling into him.

"Almost one," he answered nonchalantly. I nodded.

"We should leave soon," I told him, even though I didn't want to.

We still had to play video games, an idea that seemed laughable compared to what Edward's was. Plus, I needed to make Charlie's dinner before we left to the Port Angeles tonight.

He nodded against me, but neither of us made any move to leave, just staring peacefully out into the water.

An hour later, we finally decided to get up and pack up our things, walking hand-in-hand back out of the woods and to the car.

When we got to my house, we set all of our stuff by the door and I hooked up the xbox, put on a racing game and sat down on the floor while Edward placed himself on the couch.

We played, winning back and forth as we screeched playfully at each other.

"Come on..." I urged; leaning up on my knees as I mentally pushed my car forward.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Edward chanted as my car passed the finish line just before his green one.

"Yes!" I shouted, standing up and spinning around before flopping down on the couch next to Edward. He pouted at me.

"You cheated," he stated, crossing his arms.

I laughed at him. "How did I cheat? It's impossible to cheat in this game," I pointed out. He rolled his eyes.

"You kept distracting me." He narrowed his eyes in accusation. I scooted closer to him, lowering my voice.

"Oh, yeah?" I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. He gulped and I slid closer. "How so?" I slid dragged finger down his arm and smiled in satisfaction when he shivered. His eyes narrowed again, a faint smile on his lips.

"It's impossible to not be distracted when you're around," he said honestly. I rolled my eyes.

"So corny."

He laughed and pulled me over so I was seated sideways on his lap.

"It's true." He shrugged, playing with my hand. I let out a little 'Mhm hmm' to placate him.

Tires against gravel alerted me that my father was home and my eyes widened as I looked at the time.

"It's four thirty!" I shouted, pushing myself off of Edward's lap. "We've been in here playing for, for, for," I turned to face him, doing the math in my head. "Three and a half hours!" I groaned. "I forgot how time consuming video games are," I muttered into the hand covering my face. I heard Edward chuckle next to me and I turned to glare at him. "You won't be laughing in a minute when I'm introducing Charlie to my _boyfriend_." I looked at him pointedly. He gulped audibly.

The door opened and Edward's eyes grew wide as Charlie called out my name. I couldn't help but smile at him as he glanced around the room nervously looking for someplace to hide. I rolled my eyes.

"In here dad!" I called out. Charlie walked in with his gun in his hand, he was only taking out the bullets but it was comical the little squeak Edward let out. Charlie looked up; surprised that I wasn't alone and grumbled something about 'the Cullen boys'. I laughed.

"So, um, Dad," I started, taking a deep breath. "You remember Edward?" He rolled his eyes and gestured for me to get on with it. "Well, we've decided that... we sorta, kinda like each other and we're kinda, um, going out?" I squeaked. Charlie sighed, almost in defeat.

"Yeah, it was only a matter of time with you two." He shook his head and went to hang up his gun. I gaped at him.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, feeling utterly confused. He walked back in the room and shrugged.

"It was obvious," he stated simply, before looking over my shoulder at Edward, a smirk playing at his lips. "Now, go on out of here and let me talk with the boy." I gave him a pleading look and turned around to see Edward petrified. I sighed and walked into the kitchen to make dinner all while silently praying that my dad didn't scare him off.

I decided on a quick meal, not wanting to leave Edward out there longer than necessary and boiled some noodles to make spaghetti. By the time I was done, Edward and my father were walking in, asking to help. I looked at them both curiously, looking for any signs of distress and found none other than Edward looking a tad bit flustered. I nodded.

"Yeah, you guys can set the table and I'll bring out the food in a minute," I told them, taking the garlic bread out of the oven.

We ate in silence, like Charlie and I always do, and I couldn't help but compare this meal to the one I had earlier at the Cullen's. They were so open, talkative and joyful. They made easy conversation and took the moment to update each other on their current events, they reminded me a lot of my mother all put together. Charlie and I on the other hand only talked when really necessary, not pushing for details unless it was a highlight of sorts or need to know, which I was completely fine with.

I got the best of both worlds.

After dinner Edward helped me clean up then left to get ready for the movies, promising to pick me up at six. When the door shut, Charlie pounced.

"Bella, do you really think this is a good idea?" he asked solemnly. I looked down at my hands.

"He's not like James, and he makes me happy," I explained instead. Charlie nodded.

"Well, then, if he makes you happy that's what's important, just promise me you'll be careful with that heart of yours, okay?" he asked. I smiled and nodded, giving him an awkward hug before moving to get changed. "Oh, and Bella?"

"Hmm?" I turned around.

"The Blacks are having a bonfire down at the reservation tomorrow, Billy's boy told me to invite you along," he told me. I smiled, I did promise Jake I'd come sometime. I nodded at him and went to get ready.

At exactly six there was a knock at the door, I smiled and went to open it.

"Hey, Beautiful," he greeted me, grinning ear to ear. I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"Where's Edward?"

Emmett frowned. "Aw, come on Bells!" he whined playfully. "No 'Hi handsome' or 'I love you' or better yet 'let's run away together and live on a nude beach in California'?" He pouted. I gave him an incredulous look as I yelled 'goodbye' to Charlie and walked outside, shutting the door behind me.

"Seriously, Em, where's Edward?"

He chuckled, throwing an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his jeep. "Pft, you're right, I'm too hot for California. What about..." he continued on like I hadn't even spoken, opening my door for me and shoving me in. I couldn't do anything but laugh and roll my eyes; Emmett was ridiculous.

After he continued to list off places though, it got old.

"Emmett!" I yelled, exasperated. He turned around and gave me a cheeky grin as he pulled into the Cullen's driveway.

"Yes?" he asked innocently. I was instantly suspicious; I may not have known Emmett long, but I knew him well enough now to know he was never innocent.

"Where is Edward?" I asked slowly.

"Promise you won't hit me?" he asked, his expression changing to guilty. I looked at him expectantly and he sighed. "Okay, so Edward may have made a comment earlier and I may have retaliated a bit harsher than necessary..." he trailed off. My eyes widened, I've seen their pranks before. Three words: bus, on and roof.

Not to mention the picture.

Emmett gulped as I narrowed my eyes.

"What did you do?" I asked not so kindly.

"I bet the Bahamas are really nice this time of year..." he trailed off.

"Emmett," I warned, crossing my arms.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck as he looked anywhere but at me.

"So, uh, I might have _accidently_ mixed his gel with _temporary_ hair dye."

I glared at him. I was not amused.

"What color?"

He coughed, muttering something I couldn't understand.

"What was that?" I unbuckled my seat belt.

"Blue," he squeaked out. My eyes widened.

"You dyed his hair _blue_?" I shouted, incredulous.

"It isn't permanent!" he defended.

"How long is it supposed to last, Emmett?" I asked him in an eerily calm voice. He cringed.

"Just a couple of days."

I slapped him on the back of the head, hard.

"Ow, woman!" he yelled, soothing the tender area. I narrowed my eyes and got out of the jeep, marching towards the door. Emmett followed quickly and I waited for him to open it for me, I was mad but I wasn't rude.

"Bella," Esme greeted as I walked in the door before turning to glare at Emmett. He smiled sheepishly and ducked behind me before running up the stairs.

"Hello Mrs. –" I stopped in my tracks at her disapproving look and smiled apologetically. "Esme." My eyes darted to the stairs and she smiled politely and gestured for me to go.

"Go on up dear." She grinned, watching as I practically ran up.

When I got upstairs I realized I had never really been in this part of the house, whenever we got together it was always in the basement or the kitchen. I wandered around in awe, looking at the art in the hallway until I got to Edward's room, Emmett standing in the doorway. I peeked around his large form and gasped.

"Emmett!" I screeched. "I thought you said 'blue'!"

He chuckled, and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Well, um, the dye was blue, but since his hair has that penny look to it, it came out more of a purple."

Edward's eyes widened when he saw me and he quickly threw on a black toque before turning to glare at Emmett.

"Man, why is everyone glaring at me today?" he muttered before walking over to his own room.

I slowly walked in, standing face-to-face with Edward and offered a reassuring smile. "It's not, um, that...bad." I laughed, pulling the hat off of his head. He grimaced.

"It's fucking purple!" he yelled exasperated. "My hair is purple." He flopped down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. I sat down next to him, taking his hand in mine and playing with his fingers.

"It'll come out soon," I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"Purple hair," he groaned and I had to purse my lips to keep from laughing.

'_Not a laughing matter. Not a laughing matter,_'I kept chanting in my head.

Time to be the supportive girlfriend...

"If it makes you feel better, I'll still hang out with you after school hours," I joked.

He looked up at me, narrowing his eyes.

"Is that so?" He raised an eyebrow and I smiled, nodding playfully. Before I could even blink he pushed me back, straddling me as he held my hands above my head. I smirked.

"Well, don't do it for my sake," he told me, tilting his head cutely. I shrugged.

"Eh."

He threw his head back and laughed and it was such a sweet sound and I was glad that I could make him happy even when he looked ridiculous.

"Where is he?" someone yelled and before we had the time to re-situate, the door flew open and a distinct sound of people gasping filled the air. I peeked around Edward to see Alice, Jasper and Rose in the doorway all but Alice wearing amused expressions. Alice was terrified.

She took a few audible deep breaths and nodded. "Okay, okay," she said more to herself than anyone else. "I can work with this."

And then we watched as Alice flew around the room. She grabbed a handful of clothes and threw them on the bed, pointing to Edward.

"Change," she ordered, still looking around the room. Her eyes landed on the toque in my hand and she grabbed it from me, thrusting it into Edward's arms. "And wear the hat." She grimaced and walked out of the room, everyone following behind her.

Another fifteen minutes later, Edward was changed, his hair was covered and we were all out the door.

We all had different snack preferences so rather than compromise, we all loaded up on junk food and pop, each carrying an armful of something as we made our way into the dark theatre.

It was one of those movies that are only really funny at the time and then you realize how stupid it was later on. But it served its purpose for tonight; I think everyone needed a little lightening up.

"Hey," Emmett boomed, causing several heads to turn. "Pass the popcorn." A few people shushed him and Rose smacked him on the back of his head, telling him to shut up before handing him the popcorn.

This went on throughout the entire movie; us passing food around as we watched the stupidity on the screen, laughing at the corny one liners and ridiculousness of the plot line, or lack thereof.

When the credits rolled, we all stood up, our bodies stiff from sitting in one place for so long. I stretched; sighing as my bones cracked and popped, letting my body relax and the stiffness subside.

We walked outside, the cool air refreshing and went our separate ways to the cars.

When we pulled into my driveway I just sat there, not really wanting to move. Instead I turned to Edward. He still had his hat on and I smiled, reaching a hand up to twirl a purple strand of hair that was peeking out. He swatted my hand away before grabbing it back and intertwining our fingers.

"I'm scared," I confessed abruptly. He turned to look at me, his head tilted. He lifted our joined hands and ran his thumb across my cheekbone.

"Of what?" he asked softly.

I shrugged. There were all kinds of things to be scared of; my heart being broken again, of history repeating itself, not being good enough or strong enough, to never have my happily ever after.

I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder.

"To forget."

**

* * *

Author's Note: **I've had a migraine all week, nothing helped and I couldn't concentrate. So... sorry.

But here it is. My bad if it sucks or if there are mistakes, I honestly just wanted to get it to you as fast as possible, feel free to point any out.

And...review.

Thanks.

- Janicee.


	28. She's Why

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Warning:** Lemonish. I suck, but yeah, whatever.

* * *

**Chapter 28: She's Why**

**Edward Cullen**

_Why did I even bother? _

That was what was running through my head as I sat across the blazing fire, inhaling the first real cigarette I craved in the better part of a week, as I watched the girl I could possibly love one day laughing it up and enjoying life; with Jacob Black.

I flicked the ashes, placing the white poison on my lips and breathed in as I reflected on the day before.

I drove Bella home from the springs, both of us going inside to play video games, which, despite my pride, she kicked my ass at.

And then the Chief walked in and wanted to talk.

I watched nervously, my leg bouncing anxiously, as Bella left the room and gulped when Charlie sat his gun down on the table in front of me, pulling up at chair so that we were face to face.

It was silent for awhile, us just staring each other down, until finally he sighed.

"Cullen," the Chief cleared his throat, looking around the room before setting his eyes on me and ran a hand through his distressed hair. "Listen, I don't know how much you know about Bella-"

"Everything," I cut him off, wondering if this was going to be like the talk I had with my own father. He gave me a pointed look, probably for interrupting and nodded.

"I'm sure you _think _you know everything-"

I shook my head. What was that supposed to even mean, 'think I know everything'?

"Look, uh, Chief Swan, with all due respect, I don't _think_ I know Bella; I do. We may not have been going out for a very long time, or even know each other that long for that matter, but we do talk and we both know each other's pasts. I know all about that fuc-" I froze mid sentence at his raised eyebrow, not missing the smirk he was fighting, and cleared my throat. "– Um, James; And I know about Aiden." I added sadly. "It doesn't matter. Bella means a lot to me, even now, and I just want her to be happy." I took a deep breath, running a hand through my wild hair and let my eyes fall downcast.

"Edward," Chief Swan said, pulling my gaze back to him. I looked up sheepishly, whether I was embarrassed that I just exploded in front of him or showed weakness to my girl's father, I didn't know. He smiled.

I blinked.

Yep, that was a smile. _Huh?_

"I'm not against you, here," he started. I raised an eyebrow, looking back and forth between the gun pointing at me and him. He smiled and tucked it away. "Like I said, I think you might be good for her. I was scared that because of everything that happened, she wouldn't be able to get over it and trust again. I'm not saying I'm completely thrilled, far from it, but like you, I'm happy if she is," he explained, all while I stared eyes wide. He chuckled and stood up, patting me on the back. "Just don't break her heart, boy. It's been awhile since I've practiced my aim and I wouldn't be opposed to using you as a target," he threatened, looking at me seriously. I gulped, standing up in a daze and nodding frantically.

The words just wouldn't come out.

He laughed and pushed me forward and we both walked into the kitchen.

After I helped Bella with the dishes, I left to get ready for Port Angeles, getting a shower to wash the spring water off of me. When I was done I opened the cabinet, searching for my gel but it wasn't there.

After searching the rest of the bathroom and my room, I concluded it was in neither.

"Hey, Em?" I knocked on his door. There were some noises as he came to let me in.

"Yeah?" he asked.

I scratched the back of my head, looking down the hall. "Did you see my gel?"

He smiled and nodded, going back in his room to get it. I quirked up an eyebrow at the look he gave me when he handed me the container before walking back into the bathroom, ignoring his ridiculous giggles as I shut the door.

Ten minutes later my hair was purple.

"Emmett!" I yelled, storming out of my room and into his. He froze when I got there before doubling over into a fit of laughter.

I should have known; I should have fucking known he was up to something stupid.

"Why the _fuck_ is my hair purple?" I demanded, gritting my teeth as I glared at him. He started heaving from laughing so hard and held up a finger for me to wait until he caught his breath. I crossed my arms and waited, listening to him gasp for air until he could speak.

"It was supposed to be blue." He laughed. "But this is so much better."

I glared at him, waiting for an explanation.

He took a few deep breaths. "That's for earlier," he declared, still smiling cheekily. I squinted my eyes.

"What did I do earlier that you felt the need to dye my hair _purple_?" I asked, not impressed what-so-ever. He rolled his eyes.

"Those comments in the games room."

I gaped at him.

"Honestly? I made what, one joke? And you dyed my hair purple, how does that even out?" I spoke as if he were a second grader.

He understands better that way.

"Um, two jokes," he corrected.

I shook my head vigorously. "No, I made one comment about you losing, and then I told you to check in the xbox," I explained.

He nodded slowly. "Exactly, you accused me of being stupid and not checking there."

I gave him an incredulous look. "Emmett, you didn't check there," I told him slowly.

"Yeah, I did. How do you think I found the game?" He smirked.

I huffed. "After I told you, Emmett. You looked _after _I told you."

Jesus fuck, I was going to murk a bitch.

He scratched the back of his head as he thought. His eyes widened.

"Shit."

I'm going to kill him.

"'Shit' that's all you can fucking say? How about telling me how to get this crap out of my hair in time for the movies tonight?" I ran my hands through my hair, groaning as some of the coloured gel came off onto my skin.

"Um, dude, it's supposed to last a couple days," he told me, walking back into his room to grab the bottle. I groaned as I read the forty-eight hour guarantee, and that it may last longer.

I took a deep breath. "What time is it?"

He pulled out his phone.

"Ten to six."

My eyes widened.

"Emmett, fuck, I need to take a shower and get as much of this gunk out of my hair as I can, maybe if I wash it out it'll fade. You need to go pick up Bella for me," I told him, already walking towards the bathroom. I heard him hum in agreement and sighed, glaring at myself in the mirror as I waited for the water to heat up.

The rest of the day went by just peachy. We all had a good laugh at my expense and went to see the movie, which was pretty decent in an only-really-funny-if-your-tripping-on-shrooms kind of way.

And then I drove Bella home and she cracked my heart when she told me she was afraid to forget. I sighed, reaching my hand over to capture hers.

"What do you mean you're afraid to forget?" I asked gently.

Her eyes were all red and puffy and looking like she was about to cry.

"I just...feel wrong living my life when he doesn't get to. I feel like it's wrong to laugh and joke around and act like a teenager when he'll never get that chance. I just, I don't want to ever forget that he was here and I'm afraid that if I don't think about him all the time, I will." She looked down at our joined hands, almost in shame.

I shook my head, trying to find words. I sucked at this shit, but that wasn't anything new. But, we were working this out together and I needed to make her happy, she has been hurting for far to long as far as I'm concerned.

"Bella," I sighed, tracing the back of her hand with my thumb. "Just because he's not at the tip of your mind, doesn't mean you'll ever forget him. He'll always be here no matter what." I brought my other hand to her heart. "And I don't just mean your tattoo." She looked up, the sparkle still missing from her eyes and I almost wanted to cry because she was so sad.

She nodded meekly, moving to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"Bella?" I asked as she reached to open the door. She stopped, spinning around to face me all teary eyed. "Do you want me to stay again?"

She looked down as she thought before looking up with a small smile and shaking her head 'no'.

"I think I just want to be alone tonight."

Ouch.

"Oh, uh, sure. See you tomorrow?" I asked, forcing out my crooked smile. She giggled a little and nodded before leaning in to peck me on the lips and running inside.

I couldn't help but feel disappointed as I drove home but I quickly shrugged it off. She needed time alone, not because she didn't want me to come over but because she needed to think. I understood.

I walked in my house and up the stairs without saying anything and just stripped down into my boxers before climbing into bed. I didn't even brush my teeth because I was still fucking pissed that I was sporting purple hair and didn't want to see it right now.

Even if I still looked hot.

I sighed, laying awake in bed for the majority of the night, waiting for sleep to consume me.

"_Do you want me to stay again?" I asked, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. She looked up at me from underneath her eyelashes, biting her lip seductively, she nodded. I grinned, telling her I'd meet her upstairs and went to hide my car. _

_When I got to the side of her house, a ladder was placed conveniently by her window. I looked around; no one was there so I climbed up. _

_As soon as I popped my head through the window my eyes widened and I stood frozen in place. _

_The lights were dim, light music in the background and my sweet, amazing Bella was lying on the bed clad in only black lace lingerie. I had to grip the edge of the window to keep from falling back. _

_Fairly sure my tongue was hanging out; I gulped and snapped my mouth closed, quickly climbing the rest of the way into her room. _

"_Bella, fuck." I groaned, raking my hands through my hair as she leaned back on her elbows and opened her legs for me. I felt myself grow impossibly hard and she winked at me. _

_Fucking winked. _

"_Come on, Edward," she coasted me, arching her back to give me an incredible view. I bit my lip and she smirked._

"_Are you sure, Bella?" I asked, because fuck, this was so weird. She nodded slowly, not moving from her very accessible position. _

_I took a deep breath and walked towards her, placing myself in between her legs. She wrapped one around my waist, pulling me close as she sat up and worked the buttons of my jeans. _

"_These," she whispered, nibbling on my ear. "Need to come off." She pulled down the zipper and jerked them down to my ankles, I stepped out of them eagerly and reached for my shirt, pulling it off quickly and tossing it somewhere around the room._

_Bella starting placing open mouth kisses on my chest and I groaned, my eyes falling closed as I basked in it for just a moment before realizing this was hers. I nudged her off, laying her down and hovering over her. _

"_Bella, baby, you're so beautiful," I told her, as I placed kisses along her neck and collar bone. She smiled up at me, bringing her hand to my hair and crashing her lips to my own, sucking greedily before flicking her tongue out, demanding entrance. _

_I let her deepen the kiss as I wrapped my arms around her back and unclasped her bra, slowly pulling the fabric away from her delicious body. She made a noise similar to a whine as I broke our kiss before gasping as I ran my tongue along one of her taut nipples, blowing teasingly on the sensitive skin. I grinned against her and pulled one into my mouth, gently rolling the other between my middle finger and thumb. _

_I worked her skilfully, until her thighs clenched around me, trying to rub together for the beautiful friction she desired. Still focusing on her breasts, I brought my right hand down, cupping her, teasing her. She squirmed against my palm and huffed. _

_I chuckled, and loosened my fingers, sliding one inside of her while my thumb worked her clit. She moaned and I thrusted another finger in, grinning as she rocked against my hand. _

_I kept going until she clenched around me, her eyes snapped closed and she moaned her back arching as she rode out her high. I smiled cheekily, removing my fingers and kissing her hard on the lips. _

_After giving her a few minutes to recover, she wrapped her legs back around me, using her toes to drag my boxers down my legs. _

"_In me. Now," she demanded, directing me to her entrance. The tip of my cock brushed her wetness and I bit back a moan in anticipation, slowly easing in. "No, hard." She met my thrusts with fever, panting and moaning as I moved in and out of her. _

"_More, Edward," she breathed. I gripped her headboard and pounded into her, my own pleasure clouding my head as the animalistic urges took over. _

_Soon, she was clenching around me again, panting in my ear as she clawed at my back and tugged my hair, trying to use anything to could to support her._

"_Edward," she panted over and over._

"_Edward, Edward, Edward..."_

"Yo, Edward."

I groaned as someone whacked me in the face with something and opened an eye.

Fucking Emmett.

"What do you want? I was having a good dream," I mumbled, closing my eyes and pouting as my Bella-dream faded.

Emmett laughed. "I can tell." He pointed to my junk. I looked down, frowning and looked back up at him.

"What do you want?" I asked again.

He just handed me the phone and peaced out.

"Hello?" I answered, flopping back down on my pillow.

"_Hey, it's me." _

I shot back up.

"Bella? Hey I was just fuc- _I mean_ thinking about you," I admitted sheepishly, praying she didn't catch my almost slip. Considering our talk last night, my dream was wildly inappropriate. Plus I didn't want her to think that was all I was after.

It wasn't.

She snorted and I could almost picture her rolling her eyes.

"_Right."_ She laughed. _"I just called to let you know that I can't hang out tonight. I forgot last night that I told my dad I'd go to this bonfire thing down by the res." _

I was still in my little sleepy cloud when I told her it was okay and we made plans for tomorrow instead.

It wasn't until I hung up the phone that I remembered who exactly lived in the _res_ and banged my head repeatedly against my headboard.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. _

I called her back when it clued into me that phones worked that way, but the line was busy.

Apparently life wasn't like my dream world where magical ladders appear and everything goes my way. I was immensely disappointed.

I sighed and got up to get ready for the day. I'd find a way to convince her not to go later, they didn't start those things until dark anyways and it was like – I looked at the clock – fucking two pm.

Walking into the bathroom I groaned when I saw my hair, completely forgetting from yesterday. I needed to retaliate, stat.

Or, in like, a week.

Whatever.

I turned on the shower, stepping in and shampooing at least ten times before I climbed out. I dried my hair off and looked in the mirror, wiping the cloudy haze off. I was pleased to see it was faded a lot more than before.

Throwing on some clothes, I walked down stairs and wasted my day. Mostly practicing my video game skills so that next time Bella wouldn't beat me.

Or at least I'd actually_ let_ her win.

That shit hurt my ego.

Then I hopped into my car and drove to the Swan's place.

I waited outside of her house for a good ten minutes before finally admitting defeat and calling her cell.

"_Hello?" _she answered. I sighed.

"Hi, where are you?" I already knew, but I couldn't just be like 'I'm coming to get you'. I don't think she'd appreciate that much.

"I'm at the res. I told you this morning," she reminded me, using a tone that clearly implied _retard_.

"Oh, right." I scratched the back of my head, looking around the neighborhood.

It was quiet. Crickets chirping. A little ball of hay blowing by in the wind.

"_So...what are you doing?" _

Sweet Mary, mother of Christ. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

"I'm bored, just driving around." I practically skipped back to my car.

"Oh." She sounded happy. "Why don't you just come up here then?" I beamed as I started my engine.

"They won't care?" I asked, backing out of her driveway and on towards the reservation. If I couldn't stop her from going I could at least be there to protect her from mixing up in their heinous activities.

Okay, I might be a tad hypocritical, but honestly...

"Nope," she confirmed and I grinned.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit."

We hung up and I felt ridiculous and cheesy and like... I just got laid; when really, I just busted a nut in the shower to the memories of my little dream. I wasn't stupid. I knew it'd be awhile before Bella would be ready for anything physical. And I could wait. But I _was_ a man, so I'd just partner up with my hand in the meantime.

I pulled over next to some other cars and followed the glow to the fire. As I got closer I could see a bunch of people circled around it but I couldn't see Bella.

Sighing I sat down on a log, watching the fire sullenly.

So there I was, sitting there and puffing on my cigarette, when I heard Bella's giggle. I looked up to see her laughing with Jacob and a few other guys from the gang the first thing that crossed my mind was...

_Why did I even bother?_

And then Jacob noticed me and nudged Bella. She looked over and squealed when she saw me, running over and flopping down in my lap and all I could do was smile and think...

_She's why. _

**

* * *

Author's note:** Another cheesy chapter. Sorry. So that was kinda a practice lemon for me. First and all. It probably sucks. But eh? It's supposed to be out of character, it's a dream. Keep that in mind. The real lemon will be all sweet and jizz. Literally.

Anyways, show some love and review and maybe check out the one-shot I wrote called 'Fade to Black' for the 'In The Dark' contest and love me there too. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

- Janicee.


	29. Moving Forward

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 29: Moving Forward**

**Bella Swan**

The rest of April and May flew by without much consequence. I began to consider more and more each day if I should actually give this therapy thing a shot. I still wasn't one hundred percent sure, but after what Billy told me at the bonfire that day, I wondered if it was time to move forward.

"_Bella, your dad told me a little bit about your past," he admitted as we both sat, staring at the fire. There were people talked around us but no one paid us any mind. I looked up at him and nodded telling him to keep going. He sighed. _

"_Did your father tell you anything about my family?" he asked instead. _

_I shook my head, I hadn't known much about the Blacks other than Billy was my dad's best friend and Jacob; well he was Billy's son. _

_He scratched his chin and took a swig of his beer before sighing. "Two years ago my wife and I were driving home from Seattle. She wanted to see a show and I just couldn't tell her 'no'," he chuckled sadly. "On our way home, another car lost control and swerved into ours. That's how I lost the use of my legs. She didn't make it." He looked down and I looked forward, not knowing what to say._

"_I'm so sorry," I finally whispered. _

_He shook his head. "It's okay. After it happened, I was a little reclusive. People wanted me to see a doctor but I outright refused. I didn't want to rehash anything that would ultimately add to my heartache."_

_I nodded, I felt the same way._

_He glanced at me sadly. "It wasn't until last year that I finally opened up and talked to someone." _

"_And?" I asked; having a feeling that there was more to this conversation than talking about our pasts. _

"_And I'm talking to you right now aren't I?" He smiled. "It helps, Bella. It'll sting at first but it will get easier."_

_I shook my head. I didn't think so. "Everything's just so...messy." I admitted, referring to my feelings. _

_Billy grinned. "Well that's life. It gets messy, that's just how it is. But, Bella? There's no harm in asking for help cleaning it up." He took my hand, holding it in between his two large ones and squeezed. _

_I laughed a little, but it was bitter. It was more than obvious Charlie put him up to this. _

"_Thanks Billy," I told him with honest sincerity. He smiled and let go of my hand. _

_Just as I stood to leave he called out my name. _

"_Oh, Bella?" _

_I turned. "Yeah?" _

"_My dad used to always tell me 'sometimes life shits on you; it's inevitable and unpredictable. And when the crowd stops and stares, despite the shame inside, you just have to stand up, wipe your eyes clean and pray for a little rain', just start praying, Bella." And with that, he took another swig of his beer and went back to watching the fire. _

_I grinned, shaking my head and walked over to where Jake was standing. _

"_Hey, Jake," I greeted him softly. There were a few other boys I didn't recognize and I felt awkward. _

_He turned around and beamed, wrapping his long arms around me and pulling me into a tight hug. "Bells!" _

_I laughed. He made it seem like we've been friends for years rather than met once. _

"_I'm so glad you came, Charlie told me you would." He let go of me, keeping one hand around my waist as he pushed me into the circle. _

"_Guys, I want you to meet Bella." He started pointing and listing names. "This is Quil, Jared, Paul, Sam and Seth – Leah's brother." The sparkle in his eye twinkled with the mention of Leah. "Embry's home sick," he said with a wave of his hand. _

_I laughed nervously, offering a shy, "Hey."_

_They all grinned and the conversation flew easily after that. _

_Then my phone rang. _

"_Guys, is it alright if my boyfriend comes?" I asked after speaking to Edward. They all shrugged and I told him they wouldn't mind. After hanging up, Jake wrapped an arm over my shoulder in a brotherly way. _

"_So you got a boyfriend, huh?" he teased. I blushed and rolled my eyes. "Edward?" he asked. _

_I nodded. They had obviously already met seeing how that's technically how we did. _

_He hummed. "I was wondering why he nicked my debt so easily. Thanks," he said, nudging me gently. I scrunched my eyebrows together. _

"_What debt?" I asked, completely out of the loop. _

_He shrugged. "I owed him some money and he let me off the hook for coming to get the bus." _

_I nodded, not wanting to pry, and we went back to our easy flowing conversation, laughing and joking around. _

"_Hey Bella?" Jake called. _

"_Yeah?" I asked. _

_He jutted his chin over by the fire, nudging me playfully. "Eddie's here." _

_I whipped my head around so fast it hurt and ran over to him, jumping into his lap. _

"_Edward!" I grinned and he tightened his arms around me. "I missed you."_

_He chuckled and kissed me lightly. "I missed you, too." _

The rest of that night consisted of some old legends, drunken people and really good memories. We all laughed and had a lot of fun. But the entire time Billy's words were at the front of my mind, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was right.

I yawned, looking out the window. It was sunny and I grinned, the weather was warm and I opted for shorts and a t-shirt, throwing my hair up in a pony-tail before leaving for school.

Edward was waiting outside, leaning against his Volvo. I smiled at him, walking over and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Hi there," I whispered. I tilted my head up, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. His arms tightened around me.

"Hey, pretty girl," he greeted before leading me around the car and helping me in.

We drove to school in comfortable silence, listening to the music on low until we pulled into the parking lot and climbed out, walking hand-in-hand into the school.

"Hey, Bella!" Alice hopped up to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me down next to where everyone sat in the cafeteria. Edward rolled his eyes and plopped down next to me.

"Are you ready for the test today in math?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "That pre-exam thing?" she nodded. "Yeah, he said that we could use our calculators and that he was supplying the formulas, so it shouldn't be that hard."

Edward's hand found mine under the table and I smiled up to him before leaning in to give him a kiss.

"Okay, ew, aren't you guys over the honeymoon stage of your relationship yet? It's been like, a month and a half." Rosalie muttered as she fixed her makeup, using her compact.

Edward and I looked at each other, rolling our eyes.

"Whatever Rose, you and Em are still like that and it's been like two years," Edward quipped, winking at me. I laughed and Rose snapped her compact shut, glaring at him.

"Yeah, well at least we do something other than sucking face," she fired back and I frowned looking at the table.

Edward squeezed my hand tighter.

I hadn't told the others yet about Aiden. It never felt like it was the right time. We were always doing something or another when I had the chance and I just didn't want to bring it up and ruin the fun. So when Alice or Rose asked about my and Edward's sex life, or lack thereof, I just told them the truth.

There wasn't one.

Sure we've groped, and explored each other a little, but I wasn't ready to take that step. And it was for a completely different reason than it had been with James.

I didn't want that phone call.

I knew it was irrational and that Edward wasn't James, he would never do that to me. But I was still scared. I was terrified that as soon as I let go, as soon as I gave him that piece of me, I'd get that phone call telling me it was over.

Edward let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. "Leave it alone, Rose."

She rolled her eyes just as the bell rang and stood up, walking away, the distinct sound of heels clinking against concrete following behind her. Emmett stood up and chased after her.

The rest of us got up and grabbed our bags. "What the hell's her problem today?" Edward asked no one in particular. Alice shrugged, taking Jasper's hand and skipping beside us.

"Dad cut Rose off," Jasper told us, sniggering. Alice came to a halt.

"What do you mean 'cut off'?" she asked horror stricken. Edward rolled his eyes.

"No. More. Money. For. Rose," he enunciated slowly. She gaped at him like it was the most ridiculous thing anyone could have ever said.

"But, why would anyone do that?" she stuttered.

"Jesus Ali, it's not Chinese water torture," Jasper cut in, doing nothing to hide his grin. "Dad just took her Amex card away."

This time it was Edward who gaped. "Your_ dad_ took it away?" he asked doubtfully.

Jasper smiled widely and nodded. "Yup, who would have thought daddy's little princess would get de-crowned?" He chuckled, shaking his head and pretending to wipe away a fake tear.

"What did she even do?" I asked, I didn't know much about the Hale family but I did know that Rose's dad practically worshiped her.

"He walked in on her," he paused to laugh. "And Emmett."

Edward whistled lowly. "Why didn't Em tell me? That's golden." He snickered as we came to a stop at my and Alice's classroom. "Wait, how much did he see?" he asked cautiously.

Jasper cringed. "Let's just say he had to leave the room so that they could, _uh_, detach themselves from each other." He let out an audible shudder.

Edward guffawed loudly. "Maybe if they weren't fucking like bunnies she'd still have her Amex," he stated bitterly, probably thinking about her comments about our sex life. Jasper shrugged and pulled Alice into his arms, kissing her on the temple before saying goodbye.

"See you after class," Edward said, leaning down to kiss me quickly. I smiled against his lips and held him to me when he went to pull away.

Someone cleared their throat.

I blushed as I noticed Mr. Varner standing by the door. This wasn't the first time we were caught in the act and it didn't get any less embarrassing.

"Sorry," I said quickly, turning to mouth 'goodbye' to Edward before following Alice into the classroom.

I sat down next to Alice, pulling out whatever I would need for the test and waited for it to be handed out.

"Bella –" Alice started before being shushed by the teacher.

"Ms. Brandon, this is a test. There will be no talking or you'll get an automatic fail. That goes for the rest of you too," he ordered. Everyone mumbled in understanding and sat quietly, waiting for the okay to start. "Okay, you may begin... now."

For the next forty-five minutes the only sounds in the classroom were of moving papers, people scratching down answers and typing on calculators. I sighed as I finished the last question and pushed my paper to the corner of my desk, relieved.

Alice tapped my shoulder and slid a small piece of paper towards me. I quickly read through it.

'_Rose and I are going to the mall today, shopping for prom dresses, do you want to come?'_

I really didn't.

When she noticed my hesitation, she grabbed back the paper and quickly scrawled down something else.

'_We're also looking for presents for Edward's birthday...'_

I huffed in annoyance. She knew I was worrying about his birthday and that I wouldn't pass down an opportunity to get some advice and look around. I had absolutely no clue what to get him and it wasn't like he was any help, spewing some bullshit about all he wanted was me. All his lame attempts at avoiding telling me what he truly wanted were eye-roll worthy. I mean, how hard is it to give me a couple of ideas?

Not fucking very.

I thought about how much time I really had, Edward's birthday was in two weeks, followed by the prom and graduation. Everything was coming to an end. And then another thought occurred to me and I frowned but quickly pushed it aside, nodding quickly to Alice before putting my head down on my desk as I waited for the bell.

The rest of the day went by pretty much the same as always and by the end, I was walking outside with Edward hand-in-hand as we waited for the rest of our friends.

"Why can't you just stay here?" he begged for like the seventh time since we told him the plans at lunch.

"Because apparently prom is formal or something and dresses are required." I stopped abruptly, squinting my eyes as I turned to look at him.

"What?" he asked apprehensively, sticking his hands in his pocket and looking around.

I tilted my head and tapped my chin.

"You didn't ask me to prom," I accused, finally.

He let out a gust of air and then laughed heartedly. "I'm sorry, I thought it was implied." He walked up to me and gathered me in his arms. The others were just coming out of the school now but they stood to the side, letting us have our moment.

"No, no, no." I shook my head. "Going to the prom is like asking someone to be your girlfriend, or your wife, or telling someone that you love them. It has to be said out loud, there is no such thing as 'implied'." I informed him. "So," I said, tapping his lip with my finger. "Say it. Out loud." I grinned as he gulped and pulled me tighter before clearing his throat loudly.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he started, his lips curling into a grin. "Will you please do me the honour of letting me escort you to the prom?" he asked, his lips moving to brush against mine ever so slightly. I smiled and nodded, leaning in to kiss him but he pulled back and shook his head. "No, no, no," he chided teasingly. "Out loud." He chuckled as I huffed and glared at him, before rolling my eyes.

"Of course," I whispered, smiling as his lips found mine.

"Alright guys, enough of that. It's time to go B." Alice pulled us apart, and we all said goodbye. Edward pouted, watching as I was dragged away.

"So, Rose?" I asked from the backseat of her car. She hummed, starting the car and nodded to tell me she was listening. "How exactly are you going dress shopping if you're cut off?" I asked, chuckling a little.

She huffed. "Daddy gave me a budget," She grumbled. Alice gasped, immediately stopping her excessive digging through her purse and looked sadly at Rose.

"What's your budget?" she asked; her eyes wide.

"Fifteen hundred," she muttered, her hands tightening at the wheel. This time I gasped. "I know," Rose said, shaking her head. "It's ridiculous."

I gaped at her, fifteen hundred dollars for a dress? And she was upset? I shook my head, slumping back in my seat and pulled out my phone to text Edward. Maybe he'll give me some ideas for gifts.

He didn't.

By the time we reached Port Angeles I had asked, begged even, bargained and threatened him to give me some sort of idea for his present. He gave me the same bullshit lines as always saying that he didn't need or want anything now that he had me. If he was with me now I'd smack him.

We piled out of the car and walked into the first store. The bell dinged, alerting the employees of our entrance and we were quickly hounded.

"Can I help you with anything?" A pretty blonde girl asked, looking at each of us. Rosalie ignored her, holding her chin up as she walked away to look around while Alice rattled off a list of things that she wanted, styles, colors, sizes and everything I really didn't care about. I mostly stayed out of the way, occasionally trying stuff on.

We went through the same thing at eight other stores before ending up at the very first one to start the cycle over again.

"I like the color red, but the dress at that boutique across the street looked so much better," Alice decided with a nod as she examined the dress on Rose, who agreed whole heartedly. I rolled my eyes; both dresses looked the same to me.

Finally, we each had our dresses, mine of which made a pretty big dent in my bank account. After the final purchase was made, we all put the garment bags in Rose's car and flopped down.

"Any ideas on what to get Edward?" I mumbled tiredly.

"I'm getting him a couple CDs he asked for." Rose shrugged, and I gaped at her.

Mother fucker had no issues telling Rose what he wanted.

I sighed. "What about you, Ali?"

She clapped. "I'm buying him an outfit."

I laughed and shook my head because, well, _of course_ she was buying him an outfit.

"What am I supposed to get him?" I groaned. We all stood up, making our way to the music store so Rose could pick up his present.

"Just, I don't know, get him something personal," Rose suggested. I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. She laughed as we entered the store.

Another hour later, Rose and Alice both had their presents and I was still empty handed with no ideas.

Defeated, I climbed into the car and sighed, watching the stores as we passed them by.

I had two weeks. Two weeks to find a gift for Edward and then life will come crashing down with exams, prom and graduation. I'd be pushed into the real world whether I liked it or not.

And all I could really do then is move forward.

**

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Author's Note:** So, It's coming to an end. Only a couple of chapters left. That's why the updates are a little slow, I need to make sure that I piece everything together and tie up all loose ends.

Any questions, please ask. If you have any request, do it up.

And please check out my one-shot 'Fade To Black'. I need all the support I can get so leave me some love over there, it's different but give it a chance.

Review!

- Janicee.


	30. Remember

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Author's Note:** Honestly, I can't apologize enough for the wait. So, I'll just do it once. _Sorrrrrrrry!_

Read away...

* * *

** Chapter 30: Remember**

**Edward Cullen**

'_I love her.'_

That's all I thought as I sat at my piano, playing the song I wrote for her. It was finally finished and I couldn't keep the smile off of my face.

Not that I wanted to.

I sighed happily as the last of the notes filled the air and jotted them down on paper before titling it.

'_Bella's Lullaby'_

Picking up the sheet music, I stood up from the bench and walked towards the door, unsurprised to see Esme standing there grinning ear-to-ear. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, pulling her into a hug.

"What do you think about her song?" I asked when we pulled away. Her eyes were bright as she looked up at me, reaching up to move a bang out of my eyes.

"It's beautiful," she declared proudly. I smiled at her happily and pulled her into another tight embrace.

It was Sunday, a week after exams, and Bella and I had plans to hang out later in the day. I still haven't beaten her in any video games and I was dead set on doing it.

I kissed my mother on the cheek and grinned at her before jogging up the stairs to get ready.

A half an hour later I pulled into Bella's driveway.

"Come in!" she hollered when I knocked on the door.

I pushed it opened, kicking off my shoes in the doorway and walked over to where she sat on the sofa, writing in her journal.

"Am I ever going to get to read that thing?" I asked as I smiled down at her.

She frowned up at me and I knew that the answer was 'no'.

For now.

I shrugged and sat down next to her. She closed her journal and put it in her bag next to the couch before snuggling into me.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

I chuckled lightly, smoothing down her hair. "Don't apologize. I understand."

She groaned. "Don't say that, it makes me feel worse."

"Well, I do. You bear you soul in that book. It's a lot for me to ask for," I told her.

She smiled sadly and I grinned, stealing a kiss.

"Come on," I said, nudging her. "I'm going to beat you at least once today."

The entire day passed in a blur and as predicted, I did, in fact, beat Bella. Once.

And I think she let me win.

By the time Charlie got home from fishing, we were curled up on the couch watching cartoons.

"Hey kids," he grumbled, walking into the kitchen to grab a beer before sitting down in his chair.

"Hey Chief." I grinned at him and he rolled his eyes.

"What did you guys do today?" he asked, cracking open his bottle and taking a swig.

We both shrugged, pointing in the general area of the TV and he laughed.

"Lazy Sunday, huh?" he chuckled.

We ordered food for supper and ate. I felt oddly at ease in the Swan home ever since Charlie and I had that chat. We came to the understanding that we both wanted Bella to be happy. I suppose we bonded through that.

"I have to head home," I sighed and reluctantly stood up. It was getting late and we had school in the morning.

"No," Bella moaned and I laughed at her cute little pout.

"Sorry, beautiful, but I'll see you tomorrow?"

She bit her lip, looking up sadly. She sighed and shook her head, erasing whatever thoughts danced across her beautiful mind.

"Yeah, I guess," she finally said.

I looked behind me, making sure Charlie couldn't see before pulling her up into a kiss. As much as we bonded, he still didn't like to see our affection.

And probably wouldn't hesitate to shoot off my dick if he deemed necessary.

We parted quickly and I frowned, leaning in once more and smiling into her lips.

"Bye," I whispered against her before pulling apart.

She sighed and said 'goodbye' as I walked over to the door and slid on my shoes. I gave her one last look before heading out to my car.

When I climbed in, I buckled up and turned on the ignition. But deciding that I wasn't ready to go just yet, I sat there for a minute, letting the Volvo's gentle purr calm me.

I had wanted so badly to just tell her that I loved her, but even I knew it was quick. It had come gradually for me, but how would she take it? I didn't want to surprise her and have her hesitate, but would she ever figure it out on her own?

I knew she liked me, that much was obvious, but I didn't know the extent of her and James' relationship and I didn't want to say anything to make her doubt me, ever. And if I said something that triggered a memory to him, she might start to compare and I didn't want that. I wanted her trust and I would earn it.

I would never betray her.

I backed out of her driveway and drove home, walking in my house in a daze. It smelt like cookies and I inhaled, following the smell to the kitchen.

"Why are you up so late?" I asked my mother, who had just taken a fresh batch out of the oven and set it on the stove.

She turned around and smiled at me.

"I'm baking some goods for the hospital's bake sale tomorrow at the banquet hall," she explained. "You know I have to do it after Emmett's asleep or he'll eat them all." She laughed.

"Oh," I chuckled. "Do you need any help?" I asked as a second thought.

She beamed at me. "No dear, I have this taken care of. We want there to be less sick people, not more," she said cheekily and I glared at her. "Oh, honey, you know you can't cook to save your life. You're just lucky you found a woman who can." She laughed and I fought back a grin. "Now, what you _can_ do is drop this stuff off in the morning," she told me.

I agreed and with a kiss on the cheek and a cookie I went up to my room for the night.

As soon as I was ready for bed, I grabbed my phone and let Bella know that I couldn't pick her up in the morning.

After getting a text back telling me that it was alright, I plugged my phone in its charger and soon drifted off to sleep.

--

I groaned as my alarm rang early in the morning and rolled over to shut it off. Sitting up on the bed, I glared out my open window; grey clouds covering the sky.

It was going to rain.

Sighing, I climbed out of bed, walking tiredly to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

After breakfast, Emmett and I carried the goods out to the car with a strict order to not eat any of it. Emmett wasn't pleased by this and pouted the whole way to the banquet hall.

"Oh, get over it Emmett." I rolled my eyes. "Mom will probably have more baked by the time we get home."

Appeased, Emmett grinned.

"Why hello there," Mrs. Stanley welcomed us as we walked through the door of the banquet hall.

She and Jessica were so much alike it was scary. The way they'd always giggle flirtatiously, bat their eyelashes or gossip about absolutely nothing.

A shiver ran down my spine and I forced a smile as I greeted her back.

"Hi, Mrs. Stanley, where do you want these?" I asked.

She checked me out unabashedly and I looked at Emmett, who was laughing quietly beside me, and glared.

I cleared my throat and Mrs. Stanley glanced back up to me before quickly shaking her head.

"Right, the cookies, um... just set them on the table over there," she ordered, pointing us the right way.

We brought the containers over to a table, which was already set up with other various snacks arranged and labelled before biding our goodbyes and heading towards the school.

"I think we should skip today," Emmett announced as I pulled into the parking lot.

I turned to look at him, raising my eyebrow.

"And why's that?"

He shrugged. "Exams were last week so it's not like we're doing anything anyways. Why waste our time?"

He had a point.

"Alright, text the others," I told him as I reached for my phone to text Bella.

We told everyone to meet us at the ball field and that we'd go from there.

Fifteen minutes later we were all there. Except for Bella.

"Where is she?" I asked, looking towards the parking lot for her truck.

If anyone's car would break down on the way to school, it'd be Bella's.

"I haven't talked to her for a couple of days," Alice said, shrugging, and everyone else replied likewise.

She told me yesterday that she was coming, what was taking her so long?

I huffed and pulled out my phone again, deciding to just call her.

It went to her voicemail.

"She's not picking up," I groaned.

We waited for another five minutes before coming to the conclusion that she decided not to come to school, much to my dismay, and was probably still in bed sleeping.

Sighing, I reluctantly followed everyone into the woods where I used to meet Jake to toke up.

"So, this is boring," Emmett started from his spot on a rock. His fingers were drumming quietly on his knees as he glanced around. "What should we do now?"

"It was your idea," I pointed out dully, leaning against a tree as I looked around.

Jasper was seated against a tree with Alice between his legs. Rose was standing behind Emmett, wrapping her arms around him.

And I was alone. It sucked.

I wanted Bella.

"We could... I don't know. Anyone got liquor?" Rose asked, looking around.

We all knew the answer was 'no'.

"I miss when we were kids," Alice said, suddenly. "Remember how we used to get all the kids on our street to play kick the can with us at night?" she asked Rose and Jasper, who both grinned.

"And Rose 'accidently' kicked Mike in the balls," Jasper laughed, playing with Alice's hair.

"Well, he shouldn't have been standing right in front of the can," she defended herself with a wave of the hand.

They all laughed and I smiled at their memories. They made me wish I grew up here too.

"Hey, Eddie?" Emmett asked. I hummed and looked over to him, choosing to ignore the nickname. "Remember when Dad took us camping for the first time?" he chuckled, adding to the groups reminiscing. I grinned and nodded.

"What happened?" Rose inquired, looking between the two of us.

Emmett beamed up at her. "We snuck out of the tent at night, we were like twelve and thirteen I think, and there was another family across the woods with three girls our age." Emmett waggled his eyebrows and I laughed as Rose smacked him upside his head. "_Ow_. Anyway, we were going to see if they'd come out with us. So there we are, wondering around the woods at night in search of this other tent when we hear this sound."

I smiled.

"So anyways, Edward was terrified –"

I cleared my throat.

"_Fine_. We both thought it was a bear and got scared," he amended. "So, thinking it was this big huge bear, Edward and I take off running, ending up no where's near the campsite." He laughed a little bit, shaking his head. "We found this path by the water, and followed it, thinking it had to lead to _somewhere. _Well, there was this patch of mud that in the dark you couldn't see and we walked right into it. It was like this huge hole and we started sinking. Every time we'd try to get out, it'd pull us down deeper."

"Long story short," I cut in. "Dad found us the next morning waist deep in mud. It was so thick that he needed help pulling us out. So, he called over his friend – incidentally the same man with the three daughters." I shook my head in spite of myself. "It took the both of them and about fifteen minutes to get us out, but the mud was so thick that we slipped right out of our pajamas in the process. We had to walk back in our underwear, completely embarrassed, as the girls and our fathers laughed behind us," I finished, my face heating up slightly at the memory.

The group laughed at our awkward moment for awhile until the air seemed to calm down and everything got quiet.

"I can't believe we're graduating in ten days," Alice sighed, shaking her head.

I raised an eyebrow, I knew it was soon, but I hadn't realized it was _that_ soon.

"Wait. What's today?" I asked, trying to do the math in my head.

"The sixteenth."

My eyes widened.

"As in, the sixteenth day of June?" I asked slowly.

Everyone gave me a strange look and Alice nodded.

"Shit," I whispered to myself, before grabbing my phone and quickly dialling Bella's again.

Voicemail.

"Sorry guys, I got to go," I said quickly, shoving my phone into my pants pocket and turning to leave.

"Wait. Why?" I heard my brother ask from behind me.

I stopped for a second, taking a deep breath before hollering to him over my shoulder.

"I forgot somebody's birthday."

**

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Author's Note:** Yikes. K, guys, do you sort of see how it's folding up a little? I'm guessing, about, perhaps, at least four or five chapters left, maybe and most likely a couple more and I just might do outtakes.

Just saying.

Leave love.

- Janicee.


	31. June 16th

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 31: June 16****th**

**Bella Swan**

I absentmindedly traced the lettering on my chest as I stared at my ceiling, willing the tears away.

One year.

It was early, and despite already telling Edward that I was going to school, I didn't think I could. So I just stayed there, lying in bed until Charlie knocked on my door.

"Come in," I called; my voice was horse and raspy from a mixture of sleep and crying.

He stepped in, looked down on me sadly.

"You okay, kiddo?" he asked, frowning.

I forced a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, but I think I'm just going to stay home today. If that's okay," I added.

He nodded. "I'll be at the station. Just call if you need anything," he told me, walking over to place a kiss on my head before leaving my room, closing the door behind him.

I sighed, closing my eyes, wishing for sleep to consume me, skip today and merge into another so that I didn't have to deal with what _this_ day meant.

But I did.

Sighing, I eventually made my way out of bed, throwing on some comfortable clothes before grabbing my journal and stuffing it in my bag.

I needed to be out of the house today, but I also needed to be alone. I thought a drive would do the trick.

I grabbed my keys off the table, locking up the house before making my way to where my truck was parked.

I tried not to think as I drove down the road, passing by the trees and the school where that familiar Volvo was parked in the very spot that Edward and I fought over that first day. I smiled a little but it was hard and my eyes were watery as I continued to drive.

When I neared the path that Edward brought me to awhile back, I felt the pull, the need to do this. So, I turned down the rocky road, parking where he did that day and climbed out, breathing in the fresh, slightly moist, air.

I walked aimlessly through the woods, not exactly knowing the way, until I noticed a break in the trees and the clearing came into view. Again, I smiled sadly and continued onwards.

In what seemed like hours but was probably only a couple of minutes, I entered the meadow. It was foggy and some-what dark but still beautiful.

I walked out towards the middle and sat down, pulling out my journal and a pen and just wrote, everything I needed to say, all the thoughts that brought tears to my eyes and the realizations I made, I wrote them down.

When the rain started to pour, I tucked my journal away and just sat there, unmoving. I didn't mind the rain, not today. It felt appropriate.

I closed my eyes, pulling my sweater tighter and tilted my head to the dark grey sky, letting the rain splash across my face.

I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually grey turned to black and night casted darkness around me.

I shivered, but stayed where I was. I hadn't eaten and I knew I should have been hungry, but I wasn't. I was num and hurt and sad and angry and too many other emotions.

And that's how Edward found me.

"Bella," he sighed as he walked over to me, sitting down next to me and pulling my shaking self into his arms.

I said nothing.

"Why are you sitting out here in the rain? You're going to get sick," he told me.

Silence.

He sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly and my head snapped up.

"For what?" I asked incredulously.

I felt him more than saw him shrug.

"I forgot," he whispered.

I stood up.

"It's not like I reminded you," I said, looking down on him.

He stood up.

"I know, but I shouldn't have needed the reminder," he argued.

I shook my head.

"I didn't want you to do this. I don't want to be your obligation. I just want to be alone," I told him.

"You're not an obligation, Bella. I wanted to be here for you. I should be here for you."

He moved towards me.

"What if I don't want you here?" I found myself asking quietly.

He halted.

"You d-dont want me?" he asked slowly, stuttering slightly.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

When I opened my eyes again he was standing there, perfectly still aside from a hand running through his hair as he stared at the ground, a heartbreaking expression on his face.

I felt tears building up in my eyes. It wasn't that I didn't want him – that was a lie. But I was scared and couldn't stop myself from saying the words that I desperately wanted to swallow back.

"Please go."

He flinched back, looking torn before shaking his head.

"No."

I didn't know if I was relived or annoyed.

"_Please_," I begged him.

_Don't go. Please don't go. _

"No," he said again, standing firm. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at me.

I stared at him and he stared back; neither of us backing down.

He took another step forward and I took one back.

He sighed.

"Bella, just... don't. Please don't. I need you. I know your upset, I understand –"

"You understand?" I cut him off. I was suddenly infuriated. "You couldn't possibly understand!" I yelled. "What have you been through that's even remotely close to my situation? Nothing. You haven't even had a girlfriend until me. You screwed around with a bunch of girls, used them and thought nothing of it; of their feelings. Edward you were just like him!" I accused.

He flinched as if he'd been hit and if I wouldn't have been so wound up I would have cared.

But I was and I didn't.

I didn't see Edward, or the pained look on his face.

All I saw was James.

"It's not fair. I didn't deserve this. You did this to me, you took everything," I cried, falling to my knees. "What did I do to you? Why me?"

I kept rambling, yelling and screaming. If I had stuff, I'd probably throw it.

"I fucking I hate you, I hate you so much. I hate everything about you. I hate your hair and your eyes; I hate your smile and the way you laugh. I hate your taste in music and all your friends. I hate your fucking cat that sheds everywhere. I hate every goddamn thing." I shook my head, my hands fisting into the grass.

Suddenly I felt someone wrap their arms around me and recoiled back before shoving them off.

"No!" I yelled, shaking my head furiously. "Don't touch me. Please, just don't touch me."

I stayed there for a second, breathing heavily before looking up, expecting to see those bright blue eyes.

Instead they were green.

That being the final straw, I cried, loud and hard. My head found itself in my hands and I curled up into a ball and just wailed.

"Bella," he said quietly after my sobs had subsided. His voice cracked and I looked down at the ground.

I shook my head.

"Just go."

Instead of leaving like I demanded though, he let out a loud, irritated groan.

"Dammit Bella!"

I looked up at him, shocked by his outburst.

"Why are you pushing me away?" he yelled, frustrated.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tremble in my lip.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, because I didn't. Everything was just building up inside me, ripping at my chest and I needed to cry and scream and just let it out, but I didn't know how and that scared me.

"I just don't want to get hurt again." I finally said. My voice was weak as I admitted my fear. I didn't want to doubt Edward, I had no reason to, but my past crept up on me and reminded me that this wasn't the first time I've put myself out there, the first time I've handed someone my heart to do with what they pleased.

And I really didn't think I could handle anymore cracks before it broke completely.

I gazed up at him. The rain was pouring down hard; my hair was soaked and matted across my face as I stared into his darkened eyes.

He looked broken but determined as he walked forward, stopping just in front of me.

"Not everyone is out to hurt you, Bella," he whispered, slowly pulling me up into his arms. "I would never hurt you."

My heart was beating out of my chest as we stood there, him just holding me as my salty tears mixed in with the rain.

'_I would never hurt you,_' he had said.

And he didn't. He never did. But I was scared and running and in my stupidity, I was the one hurting him.

At this I cried harder.

He pulled me tighter into his arms and this time I didn't pull away. I didn't have the strength.

So I shook in his arms while the events of tonight played over and over in my head like a movie on a projector, and I shook my head.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I could do this. Could I put myself out there, risk everything all over again when I didn't even have much to begin with?

I lifted my head from his damp chest and stared up into his eyes. Those _green_ eyes that silently promised to never do me harm, those same eyes that shone with unshed tears as he watched my heart break and just held me.

'_Yes,_' I thought, without a doubt in my mind.

I reached up and wiped the hair from of his face, letting my fingers drag across the wet skin of his cheek and stood up on my tiptoes before lightly placing my lips on his.

His response was fast as he placed one hand on the small of my back and let the other comb through my hair, sighing in relief at the contact.

Our lips moved slowly, sensually together. This wasn't lust, this was _need_ and _love_. Even if those words were never said.

For however long, we both just stood there wrapped together. I opened my mouth just slightly and let him deepen the kiss.

He groaned as his tongue met mine, dancing together in the sweetest movements. His taste was strong in the rain and I moaned in delight.

His grip tightened around me and I sighed into his mouth, praying that this moment would never end; that I could forget everything but us and hold onto this forever.

But at some point there were lights facing us and our names were being called. I sighed, reluctantly pulling my lips from his and just stayed there, hugging him to me, never wanting to let go.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie's voice call as he walked towards us, a flashlight in his hands. He sighed in relief and pulled me away from Edward to look me over. "Never do that again, Bella. You scared me," he said firmly.

I must have looked confused because he elaborated.

"It's nearly midnight, Bella. You weren't picking up your phone when I called. Edward came in hours ago asking if I knew where you were. I thought you were at home, we couldn't find you anywhere's. Edward's brother, Emmett I think? The big one, anyways, told me that Edward sometimes comes up this way. We were walking through these woods looking for you for nearly an hour," he explained.

"Oh," I replied dumbly before tilting my head in confusion. "'We?'"

Just then Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper came rushing towards us, along with Edward's parents, all holding flashlights.

Questions were asked, some were answered and the rain still poured down.

I held onto Edward, using him as my anchor as we made our way back through the dark forest, towards our cars and then back into town.

I couldn't tell you what was said on the way, if anything. I don't recall walking into the house or up to my room.

But eventually, I was in my bed, staring at the ceiling as I absentmindedly traced the lettering on my chest, willing the tears away.

**

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Author's Note:** Before you review, I just want you guys to keep in mind what she's going through – how fast everything's moving and what June 16th really means for her. This chapter may seem like it's right out of left field, but she's emotional and people do and say things when their emotional that they don't necessarily mean. She's going through a lot. I'd be worried if she didn't break down, to be honest.

And yes, they make up quickly. But that's because her pain and anger wasn't directed at Edward, she only used him as an outlet, someone to release that on. Edward's a champ and understands, obviously it hurts but he's not backing down when things get hard. I know what I'm doing. Ish. Haha.

Okay, you may review now. _Please?_

- Janicee.


	32. Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 32: Happy Birthday**

**Edward Cullen**

"Wake up, birthday boy," someone sang, pulling me out of my comfortable slumber.

"Eddie," another person chimed in.

I groaned, lifting my head off of my pillow and opened my eyes, squinting against the harsh light and blinking a couple of times to get used to it.

My family stood there, above my bed, all wearing devious grins on their faces.

'_Shit'_, I thought.

I jumped out of bed as quickly as I could, effectively falling on the ground, tangled in a heap of blankets. Cursing, I scrambled out of the mess on the floor and backed up against the wall wearing, what I assumed to be, a terrified look on my face.

"No, no, no. Don't," I warned my family.

They were clearly amused.

Everyone had their hands behind their backs like I didn't already know what they were up to as they narrowed in on me.

I looked around for any place to escape but there was only my closet.

_My closet. _

I could have palmed my forehead right then.

It was too damn early for this.

Quickly, I threw open my closet door and jumped in, slamming it closed behind me. It was a big, girly, walk in closet but I didn't give a shit. It was perfect.

My family's muffled laughter rang through the door and I could have been annoyed but I was on a mission.

I hadn't used it in a long time, but I knew it didn't just vanish. Looking around, I found the little opening in the wall that was there for emergencies.

This definitely applied.

I shoved an old toy box against the door to deter them and climbed through the little hole that led me to the basement. The little stairs were steep and narrow and I had to be careful to both be quiet and not trip and kill myself as I hurried down.

When I got there, I found a similar door and pushed it open and just as I stuck my head out to crawl through; a hand came out and smeared a big glob of butter right down my nose.

I was not pleased.

I looked up to see my family standing there, Emmett right in front of me wearing a shit-eating grin and shook my head.

I was so close.

"Did you really think we wouldn't know about this?" my mother asked, shaking her head in mock disappointment. "I designed it."

My family laughed and my head bowed down in shame as I crawled the rest of the way out.

"Well, at least you got further than last year," Carlisle commented, smiling at me.

I pouted.

Ever since I could remember, on anyone's birthday, the rest of the family would wake said person up and smear butter on their nose. Seems innocent enough right? Yeah, well its all fun and games until it's your birthday.

I once asked why we did it and my mother responded with a, "So you can slide right into the next year."

_Right. _

Mom handed me a damp washcloth and I took it happily, wiping off the greasy mess from my face before glaring at Emmett.

He raised his hands in surrender.

"Hey, you got me last year," he defended.

I rolled my eyes and laughed before turning to Esme.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked. I was starving and she always made my favorites on my birthday.

"Chocolate chip pancakes," she said, smiling warmly at me.

Fucking, _yes._

We all ate breakfast happily, everyone joking around and asking me about my plans for the day: my choice on supper, the information on the party. I didn't want a party; all I wanted was Bella.

I sighed as I looked down at my almost empty plate. She hadn't talked to me since that night in the meadow, three painful days. She needed time to think and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.

That goddamn night broke my heart. Bella's pain was so raw and it tore at me like I've never experienced before.

Her words hurt, not gonna lie. But I understood. She wasn't clear minded and was going through things that I couldn't possibly understand. So I just made sure I was there for her. No matter how much it ripped at me every time she told me to leave, I stood my ground.

When she finally calmed down, she sounded so broken and for the first time, I was questioning whether I was really enough to help her heal. But, as soon as that thought entered my mind, I banished it.

I would help her heal. I had to.

"Honey, can you pass the syrup?" My mother's pleasant voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I nodded, reaching over my plate to grab the bottle and hand it over.

For the rest of breakfast I tried not to dwell on anything, laughing and having a good time with my family before we all went our separate ways to get ready for the day...

Around lunch time, people started to come over. And by people, I meant my friends.

Alice, Jasper, Rose. No Bella. I frowned, she said she was coming.

We walked down to the basement after they each handed me their presents. I nodded my thanks and moved to bring them to my room.

"I think I'll wait until later to open them," I told them, not bothering to state what they already knew. I was waiting for Bella.

Eventually more people came to the party I didn't want. My parents left for Seattle for the weekend, with a warning to 'be good and not wreck the house' and an embarrassing kiss on the cheek from my mom with a final wish to have a happy birthday.

Maybe.

My birthday flew by in a blur. Sometimes I'd see Alice move upstairs with her phone and I knew she was calling Bella. She always came back down alone.

The house felt too crowded but at the same time I felt alone. It was sort of like being in the mall, everything's so loud and blurred, there's so many people doing so many things and you're just...there.

The music was decent, sometimes a good song would come on, other times it would just be a good beat, the same words playing over and over on for the however many minutes. I didn't really listen. I was more focused on the stares.

She never came.

The entire night people came up to me, sometimes more than once, to wish me a happy birthday, the words more slurred and sloppy as the night wore long. I faked a smile, thanked them and moved to an isolated corner.

When did I turn into the guy who stands alone in the corner at his own party?

'_Apparently when your girlfriend stood you up on your birthday,' _I thought bitterly.

"Hey Eddie." Lauren sauntered up to me, running her finger along the hem of my shirt near my belt. I swatted her hand away and crossed my arms.

"Hi," I said simply.

She smiled drunkenly at me and batted her eyelashes.

"Where's your girlfriend at?" she slurred.

I ignored the pang of sadness that hit me at the mention of Bella.

"Dunno." I shrugged and moved to walk away but she grabbed my arm and tugged me back.

"Problems in paradise?" She giggled and snorted, causing her to laugh even harder.

I rolled my eyes.

"Ooooooh," she dragged out, nodding. Her face lit up as she smiled. "I bet there is," she announced. She leaned forward for a second, a couple inches from my face and squinted.

"You have really, really, _realllllly_ pretty eyes. Did you know that?" she asked randomly.

I sighed heavily.

"Lauren, as much as I would absolutely _love_ to stand here and talk about how pretty my eyes are, I have to go make sure people aren't destroying my house, if you'll excuse me." I pushed away from her, walking fast so she couldn't cling to me again, and jogged up the stairs.

Eventually the party died down and most people went home. I didn't really care. As soon as the last person left, leaving just the gang and I, I sighed in relief and moved to go up the stairs.

Alice grabbed my arm, looking at me sadly.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Her eyes were a bit moist in remorse and I shrugged, pulling her into my side and placing a brotherly kiss on the top of her head.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks for the party." I smiled at her and she beamed back at me, pulling me into another hug before bouncing away with a final, "Happy birthday."

I said goodnight to the others and made my way to my room, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it before shaking my head and pushing off.

I quickly shred my clothes and climbed into bed. I stared at the ceiling. The room was dark and too quiet, but every time I closed my eyes I saw Bella and right now, it hurt to think about her.

I huffed and jumped out of bed, moving to my CD player and turned it on before lying back down, letting the classical melodies soothe me until finally, I found sleep.

--

I jostled awake. Groaning as I noticed it was still night, I leaned up and peered at the blinding light of the clock, waiting for the blurriness to subside.

It was three thirty. I let out a loud groan and flopped back down, staring at the ceiling.

I had only slept an hour.

"Sorry," I heard from the corner of my room.

I sat up quickly, shaking off the vertigo, and stared wide-eyed at Bella.

She was standing in the corner of my room, hugging her journal to her. "I didn't mean to wake you."

I shook my head. "You didn't. I mean, you did, but that's okay. What are you doing here?" I blurted out. I was exhausted and overly confused and my jumbled words didn't really help.

She shrugged. "It's your birthday."

I looked at the clock again and back at her.

"_Was_ your birthday," she corrected sadly. She didn't look at me as she slid down the wall and curled up into herself, dragging her toe along the carpet. "I didn't mean to miss it, you know," she admitted, finally meeting my eyes.

"Then why did you?"

She sighed heavily. "I don't know. I just... couldn't come knowing there were so many other people here. And, I... didn't think you'd want me to."

I gaped at her and quickly climbed out of bed, slowly making my way over to her. "Why wouldn't I want you here, Bella?" I asked in shock.

Her eyes were watery and she shook her head, looking down at her leather journal and picking at some of the loose paper. "The other night, I said so many horrible things to you, I... I can't even begin, I just..." she broke off and shook her head again, a tear sliding down her pale cheeks, glowing from the moonlight.

I crouched down and took her face in my hands. "Bella, I know you didn't mean any of that. Okay, it hurt. Whatever. But it was only the stuff that was _true_, me being like him–"

"No!" she cut me off. "You're not like him," she said quietly. "Nothing like him."

I gave her that, choosing to keep my rebuttal to myself as I went on.

"Regardless, Bella, it doesn't matter. I'll always want you here. I'll always want you with me." I leaned my forehead to hers and she dropped her journal, latching on to me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," she cried.

And I let her.

I sat for awhile as she let it all out, tears soaking my shoulder. I didn't care, I just pulled her closer.

"So, if you didn't think I wanted you here," I started after she had calmed down. We sat side by side on the wall, her leaning into my side as I soothed her hair. "Why are you here? Not that I mind," I quickly added.

She shrugged tiredly. "I couldn't stay away."

I smiled. "I'm glad."

Classical music was still playing in the background and I hummed along to it, staring into nothingness.

Bella took a deep breath and I looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she was whispering something before they popped open and she looked at me, saying so much and so little at the same time.

"I couldn't find you a present –"

"I don't want anything," I started to say but she shook her head.

"Just... let me finish." I closed my mouth and nodded. "I couldn't find you a present, no matter how hard I looked, it seemed everything I thought of was stupid or you already had it. I was so stressed and on top of that...Aiden's birthday," she said after a deep breath and I gave her a tight squeeze. "I wanted to give you something that matters; something that's only for you." She looked back down at her journal which was set beside her. "You said I bared my soul in my Journal," she quoted before looking back at me, grasping the book and holding it close. "I want you to read it," she whispered before handing it over to me.

I must have looked ridiculous. I had to of looked ridiculous. I could only image how wide my eyes were.

I blinked a few times, shook my head and blinked a few more times. "Are...are you sure?" I stuttered. My shaky hand reached out for it slowly, almost as if she'd pull it away if I moved too quickly.

She didn't say anything, only nodded.

For the next two hours, Bella and I sat together both reading silently until I got to the last page, dated June 16th.

I gulped.

Bella was crying silently beside me and as much as I hated it, she needed to. These were fresh wounds we were opening and she needed to let those emotions out.

"Go ahead," she encouraged and I took a deep breath before starting to read.

_June 16__th_

'_He would have been a year today,' that's all I could think of. He would have been a year old._

_I kept trying to picture him in my head and each time I'd see the same thing. _

_I'd imagined what he would be like had he lived, memories I'd never have; a little boy latching onto my legs on his first day of school, while I held back tears thinking I didn't want to let him go. I imagined him with dusty blonde hair, tiny freckles on his pale nose, dressed in cute little jean shorts and a green dinosaur t-shirt. I could even see his little smile, full of missing teeth. _

_But I couldn't see his eyes._

_No matter how hard I tried, his eyes were blurry, a skewed vision taunting me. _

_And then I panicked, just like that day at school._

_I'll never have that first send off, never see his beautiful eyes._

_Never have a real goodbye –_

I could tell she stopped there because the writing changed and the ink was slightly darker.

"That was after," she said, noticing where I stopped.

After the meadow.

I squeezed her tighter and kept reading.

_But then that day came back to me, lying there in the hospital bed with my baby in my arms and I thought, I mean really thought, 'maybe I did?'_

_Maybe that day he was born was how it was supposed to be. I'd never get to see his eyes or watch him grow up, but I'll always have that first and last send off, with him lying in my arms as the tears escaped my eyes thinking I didn't want to let him go. _

_And maybe there weren't any real words shared that day, just my incoherent mumbles and tired cries, but with a whispered 'I love you' and a small feather light kiss, I handed my son over to God. _

_So maybe that was my goodbye._

It ended on that last thought and I turned the page, a date catching my eyes.

_July 12__th__. _

"What's this?" I asked, looking down at her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a long breath before slowly opening them, staring at me with such deep emotion my breath caught in my throat.

"I'm going to therapy."

**

* * *

Author's Note:** School is kicking my ass lately. I just started and am about a month behind, so I have like zero time for this, but I'm making it happen. You're welcome. Just bare with me guys. I got you. Sorry if I made you wait an extra long time and the grammar is crappy, but look at it this way, I could have made you wait and extra three days (the next time I'd be able to work on this) and it'd be all good. Whatever, who needs perfection? Haha, me. Frown.

So there, chapter 32, hope you liked it.

- Janicee.


	33. Happy

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 33: Happy**

**Bella Swan**

I stirred awake and looked around. I was definitely not home.

I smiled a tired smile and felt around the bed for Edward but he wasn't there. Frowning, I stood up, stretching as I made my way to the door and down the hall.

The sound of a piano playing drew me down the stairs, closer to the soft, intriguing sounds. It was familiar and I tried to rack my brain to where I've heard it before.

The house was a mess, I noted, as I walked through the disaster. The evidence of last night was obvious.

When I got to the room, the door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open just enough for me to see.

There Edward sat, hunched over his piano as the energy vibrated off of him and through the black and white keys. He was beyond beautiful as he poured his heart out; translating it into the music he loved so much.

I stayed there, leaning against the door as I watched him play. His eyes were closed, his head bobbing slightly along with the melody.

I watched in awe as his tongue came out and swept over his bottom lip, his eyes tightening as the strong melody got tense.

It was like I was in a trance. I couldn't move, or even speak – not that I'd want to interrupt him. I had no control on anything as my eyes stayed glued to him.

The song changed frequently, almost too fast to catch the hidden emotions lingering in air. But I did. I felt them, flowing around me, tugging at my heart.

By the end, I blinked, confused at how I was suddenly _right there_, standing above him.

Edward took a deep breath, not moving from his bowed form as his body shook. I slid down next to him, taking his hand in my own.

"You're crying," I noted. He looked up at me, a single tear falling from his eye and nodded before looking back down.

I scooted closed to him, hugging him to me.

"That was beautiful," I told him. He inhaled and breathed out heavily before looking at me. His deep green eyes were heartbreakingly sad and I wanted to do anything to make that look go away.

"It's for you," he finally said, his hands toying absently with my fingers.

I brought my hand up to his cheek, soothingly stroking the smooth skin there.

"Edward."

He looked at me and I had the urge to just squeeze him to me and never let go.

"Why were you crying?" I asked him.

"I read your journal again," he confessed. "I didn't sleep."

My eyebrows scrunched together, I could have sworn he had.

"That doesn't explain why you're crying, though," I said confused but in a soft voice. I couldn't understand how anything I said in there could make him this upset.

He shook his head. "It's not just that. You were crying in your sleep."

I was still confused. How was any of this the cause for his distress?

"I'm...sorry?" I spoke awkwardly, not sure how to respond.

"No!" he all but shouted. "No, Bella. Why would you be sorry? _Fuck_." He ran his hand through his hair and let out a frustrated huff. "Never be sorry for your pain. _I'm _sorry. _Jesus I suck at this_," he muttered the last part quietly to himself and I tilted my head.

"Suck at what?"

He turned to look at me, his eyes still sad.

"Making you happy," he whispered.

My heart cracked.

"No, you don't," I told him. "You make me so, so happy." I squeezed him tighter to me, trying to reassure this to him.

He shook his head. "It just seems like this is all so hard," his voice broke as he told me this and I could tell he didn't like feeling so weak.

"I'm sorry," I apologized because I was. This was hard because of everything that came with being with me – all my baggage. This was stuff an eighteen year old guy shouldn't have to deal with.

"Don't be," he said. "Just, can we talk...about everything?"

I gulped and nodded. "Okay."

Taking my hand, he pulled me up and off of the piano bench and led me to the living room. It wasn't until now that I even thought to wonder if we were alone.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as I sat down on the couch.

He sat down next to me and pulled me to him.

"They left earlier this morning, Emmett went with Rose," he informed me, closing his eyes tight.

I nodded even though he couldn't see it.

"Okay, so... talk?" I said after a beat of silence.

His eyes opened.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" he asked and I nodded, a bit confused. "Why are you going to therapy?"

I flinched back a little, not expecting that at all. This entire morning had been a mess and now I wasn't sure what to think or say.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I thought you wanted me to..." I trailed off.

He nodded. "I do, and I think it would be good for you. But you shouldn't go if it's just because I want you to, Bella. It needs to be for you."

I thought about the reasons I finally agreed to therapy, trying to figure out if it was really what I wanted or if it was just trying to find an easy way out by agreeing to everyone else.

But after thinking, I knew it was for me.

My journal helped me deal with everything that happened with Aiden, helped me release those feelings that prevented me to heal. But there were still those things inside me, left by James and everyone else who played their little parts in my torture, which prevented me to trust and _that_ was something I knew I needed to work through.

I looked at Edward with completely sincerity. "It's for me," I said firmly and he sighed in relief.

"It's not going to be easy, the pain won't just go away," he warned.

I knew this, but I also knew that it would never go away if I didn't do it.

"I know."

We spent the rest of the day talking, being sure to leave everything out in the open. Edward told me stuff that's been bothering him, like when I shut down.

And then we talked about the meadow.

We had talked very briefly about that last night, another stressful and tear-filled discussion, but this one there were no moist eyes – we had both done enough crying.

"As much as I'm different, Bella, we still have that same thing in common. I _did _use girls and I didn't care about their feelings," he told me firmly but I was already shaking my head.

"So you did that. I know this. But you didn't lie. He did. What you did with those girls, they knew. They used you just as much as you used them," I reassured him, smoothing my hand through his hair.

He nodded but didn't say anything for awhile and I could tell he still felt guilty.

Seeing him in pain tore at my heart and I understood what he meant when he told me about me crying in my sleep.

It tortured him just as much as it did me when the other was hurting.

I hadn't felt so strongly for anyone. No matter how much James hurt me, he didn't break my heart.

I just thought he did.

Edward tugged me into his lap and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Thanks for not giving up on me," he finally said quietly.

I turned in his arms so that I faced him and kissed him slowly on the lips before whispering, "Ditto."

The day ended on a much happier note than it started.

We played video games. And... I let him win. It made him happy.

When it got late we kissed goodbye and I climbed into my truck and headed home. I had called Charlie earlier in the day to let him know where I was so he didn't get worried.

When I got home, everything was dark and the cruiser was in the drive, so I knew Charlie was in and asleep.

I traveled as quietly as I could from my truck to my room and settled down in my bed, letting exhaustion pull me asleep.

--

The next few days passed by quickly and before I knew it, the day of prom came.

Alice and Rose took me to Port Angeles for a spa day as part of the 'pre-prom etiquette', or so I was told.

I had argued but Alice told me that I could use a massage and not to argue, that she promised I would like it.

We left early and the drive was quiet as we made our way out of Forks.

When we finally pulled into the small parking lot of 'Sun Tree Spa' I couldn't help the first thought that passed my mind, _'what the fuck?'_

Really, who names a spa 'Sun Tree'?

Noticing my sceptical look as we walked towards the door, Rose nodded.

"It's the only spa in Port Angeles," she explained, pushing the glass door open.

The little bell rang as we walked in. I looked around, feeling uncomfortable in the small waiting area, decorated in all things nature.

"Hello," a soft voice welcomed us. I looked up to see a tall blond woman come through the doorway, pushing aside the beads hanging from the arch. "Welcome."

I looked at both Rose and Alice who each smiled warmly at the kind woman.

"Serena," Alice squealed happily after a few moments and hugged her.

"Alice, Rose, it's so wonderful to see you," she told them before looking at me. "And who is your friend?" she asked them, smiling kindly at me.

"That's Bella," Alice answered her. "She moved here earlier this year."

Serena nodded and came over to me with open arms. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, I hugged the woman as quickly as I could, patting her a couple times on the back before moving away.

"What can I do for you?" She asked the three of us.

Alice then went into explaining, in great detail, what we – or really she – wanted done.

We were each getting a massage – different kinds that I didn't care to take note of – facials and a mani-pedi.

Serena led us through the archway into the hall, all the while reassuring us that none of her lotions or polishes were animal tested.

I wasn't really a strict member of PETA, but I was glad to know that this expensive trip to the spa wasn't funding animal cruelty.

We were each brought to different rooms. Serena was going to work on me, while two other employees focused on Alice and Rose.

"Have you ever had a massage before?" she asked me as she walked me in.

I looked around the small room. There were light colors, mostly white, and pictures of peaceful things like rivers and birds. A bed, long with a hole at the head of it, lay in the center of the room and across from that was a table, filled with oils, candles and a CD player.

I shook my head silently.

"Wonderful, so this will be your first." She walked over to the table and lit the candles, letting the scent slowly fill the room. "This is a full body massage. Undress and slide under the sheet on the table and call when you're ready, I'll be just outside the door." As she moved to the door I froze before calling out to her.

"Undress as in... get naked?" I asked stupidly.

She smiled at me like she understood where I was coming from, which she probably did because I was more than obvious.

"You may leave your undergarments on, but I would recommend that you at least take off your bra so that I can thoroughly attend to your back, you will be covered the entire time, so there's no need to be shy," she told me before stepping out of the room.

Taking her advice, I left my panties on but removed my bra. Quickly, I slid underneath the thin sheet, my face to the ceiling.

"Okay," I hesitantly called out.

I heard the curtain open and close and the footsteps that followed until she was right beside me.

"Wonderful. Now, is there anywhere that you would like me to focus on first, anything tense you'd like me to work on?" she asked me.

I thought about it, but really didn't know what to tell her, I was stressed but couldn't really pinpoint a certain place for her to start.

Finally deciding on my shoulders and the base of my neck as the most probable place, I told her so and flipped over on my stomach, my face fitting comfortably in the hole of the bed.

Serena turned on some soothing sounds, which flowed quietly out of her CD player.

I hummed happily and closed my eyes and she began to work out the knots that I was sure I had a lot of.

She worked quietly on me for an hour, at some point telling me to flip over so that she could work on the other side. By time she was finished, I was so relaxed I didn't want to move.

Serena laughed. "Why don't you rest here for a couple minutes and I'll go run the Jacuzzi bath for you?" Not waiting for me to respond, she exited the room leaving me in blissful peace.

I stayed where I was for awhile before getting up to change.

She came back a little while later, holding a bathing suit.

I gave her a curious look but she just smiled. "Alice packed it for you, she figured you wouldn't."

I didn't. I didn't know I'd had to.

"Thanks," I said, grabbing the bathing suit from her and followed her out of the room.

We entered a changing room and she pointed to a stall. "Go on and get changed in there and then follow the hall there and out the door and that will lead you to the Jacuzzi room," she told me as she pointed in the directions I needed to go.

I got changed in the too small bikini that Alice packed and walked out, going where Serena told me to go. When I walked out, I was surprised to see Alice and Rose already sitting in the big-enough-for-ten-people Jacuzzi.

"Damn hottie," Rose called as Alice let out a cat call.

I blushed ten shades of red and used my arms to try and cover myself up as I neared them.

Rose rolled her eyes but smiled. "I still don't understand why you're so shy. You're hot; you might as well embrace it." She sighed dramatically like it was such a bother to be so beautiful.

I wouldn't know.

I climbed into the hot water and sighed as I let it absorb me.

"How was your massage, Bella?" Alice asked, smirking knowingly.

I rolled my eyes. "It was nice, thank you."

She opened her mouth but I cut in before she said what I knew she was going to.

"If you say 'I told you so', I'm not letting you take me to get my hair done for the prom," I warned her.

Her mouth snapped shut so fast her teeth clanked together.

I smiled.

"You're no fun." She scowled at me.

I laughed happily and sank down deeper into the water.

We left the spa almost two hours later, after our mani-pedi and facials.

It was around two so we went to eat before going to get our hair and makeup done, going to the same place for lunch as the last time we were here.

"She wants loose curls," Alice instructed the hair dresser after we got there.

I was now sitting in the chair, looking in the mirror at my face. My makeup was done and I couldn't help but notice the slight glow of my cheeks. I smiled.

After Alice had made sure the hairdresser knew what he was doing, she moved to the chair next to me, and Rose took the one on my other side.

We talked about random things as we waited for the okay, almost two hours later.

"Alice what time is prom?" I asked her, worried we would be late.

She waved me off. "It starts at seven, we'll be fine."

We drove home shortly after.

Mine and Alice's dresses were in Rose's car, so that we could just go to her house without any unnecessary stops. So when we got to Rose's house, we were all set.

"Okay," Rose said as we walked through the front door. "Let's get changed and call the boys to pick us up. Jasper ordered the limo right?" she asked Alice, who nodded quickly.

We took turns in the bathroom to get changed and met in Rose's room.

After a half an hour of cooing over each other, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Rose's mom hollered up to us and we all smiled at each other as we walked to the top of the stairs.

I could hear Mrs. Hale complimenting the guys as I came closer but when I heard Edward laugh my heart skipped a beat.

His laugh died down though when he looked up, his face breaking into that beautiful crooked grin when he saw me standing there.

Alice and Rose started walking down the stairs but I was frozen in place by his gaze.

"Bella," I heard him murmur, and finally dragged my eyes from his and down his body, gasping at how absolutely gorgeous he looks in a suit.

Smiling, I started to descend down the stairs and into his awaiting arms.

He held me at arm's length and looked me over. "You are so breathtakingly beautiful," he finally said softly and my smiled grew.

"Thank you."

"Come on!" Alice urged us, but Mrs. Hale stopped her.

"Oh, no you don't. I promised each of your parents that I would take lots of picture before letting you out of the house," she said, blocking the door, a huge smile planted on her face.

She looked a lot like Rosalie, but her blond hair was much shorter.

So, we posed for pictures; separately, in couples, the whole group; the whole shebang.

When we were done and Mrs. Hale was satisfied, we left the house and climbed into the awaiting limo.

"You really do look beautiful tonight," Edward whispered to me.

I leaned into him, kissing him sweetly and nuzzling into the crook of his neck, never happier.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Okay, sorry it took so long. Like I said, school's kicking my ass. Hoped you like the chapter, please excuse any mistakes, but feel free to let me know of any large ones so I can correct them.

Now, down to business.

Sequel or outtakes?

I want to know if you guys think it's too soon for a lemon for prom night. If you think it is, because I promised you there would be one, I'll write one in an outtake instead. If not, then I'll just write one next chapter.

Now if you want a sequel, let me know. Just write it in your review and if you want, something you'd like to see in it. And I'll hook you up ;)

Thanks!

- Janicee.


	34. Prom

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Author's Note:** This chapter's a little different. You'll see...

* * *

**Chapter 34: Prom**

**Edward Cullen**

I couldn't believe I actually cried in front of her. I hadn't meant to, but then again, I didn't know she was there until after the tears started to fall.

As I played Bella's song, all the pain she went through came back and hit me hard.

When Bella fell asleep in my arms, I picked the journal back up and read through it again. I didn't know if it was some sort of masochism, or if I just needed to read it another time to fully grasp everything it held. Either way, each word tore at me just as hard as the first time I'd read it.

Holding back the sting in my eyes, I picked Bella back up and carried her to my bed, lying her down and climbing in next to her, but I couldn't sleep.

I sat there watching her, playing with her hair, trying to sooth her as she slept.

It wasn't until early morning that she started to whimper and moan in her sleep.

Holding her close, I hummed to her until eventually she calmed down. But that didn't stop me from coming to the realization that even in her sleep, where she should find peace, she was in pain.

Eventually, not being able to handle all the emotions, I climbed down the stairs and walked carefully over the mess towards my piano room.

For hours I must have banged away on the keys, letting out all my intense feelings until I was interrupted by a timid knock.

"Hey bro," Emmett said when I called him in. "You alright?" he asked.

I nodded silently.

"Did you hear from Bella?" he asked hesitantly after a minute of us just looking at each other.

"She's here," I told him.

His eyes widened and he looked genuinely shocked.

"She came over after everyone was asleep," I explained.

"Oh, well... alright." He scratched the back of his neck. "Anyways, Jasper and Alice already left. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to head over to Rose's, I'll come back before mom and dad get home and help you clean," he said.

"Alright." I shrugged and watched as he walked out the door, shutting it loosely behind him.

As I started to play again, Bella's song forced its way through my fingers and as I neared the end I cracked, letting a few tears escape.

And that's when Bella saw me.

"You're crying," she stated, standing above me with a tortured look in her eyes.

All I could do was nod.

I told her the song was hers, and finally got up the nerve to ask to talk, to really talk – about everything.

She agreed and we did.

We talked.

And by the time we were finished I felt like we were finally both on the same page – working together. And everything felt a helluva a lot less heavy hanging on my shoulders.

And then we played video games, acting like the foolish teenagers we should be. This emo bullshit just wasn't going to cut it anymore, I had decided, we had to live and move past it.

And the only way to move past it is to embrace it.

Bella left and shortly after, true to his word, Emmett came home and helped me clean up.

The house looked fucking spectacular and I was tired as shit.

Emmett and I called it a night early and crashed in our beds, completely exhausted.

"Goddamn, I'm hungry," Emmett said from the chair next to me the next morning and I rolled my eyes.

"Order a pizza or something, mom left us money," I told him.

He shook his head. "Spent that on booze," he admitted.

"Where's your twenty bucks from grandma?" I asked, smiling a little at our ridiculous grandmother.

When we were little, she always felt bad for giving one of us a present and not the other on our birthdays, so she split it; instead of one big present, we would each get a little one on both days so that it all evened out and everything was fair.

She still did it even though we were now nineteen and eighteen. She gave us each twenty bucks, which in retrospect was really forty, for our birthdays.

He rolled his eyes. "She gave that to us last week; that suckers long gone."

I rolled my eyes right back at him. "Looks like your shit out of luck then," I told him with a smile.

He narrowed his eyes at me and huffed. "I'm going to Rosie's. She'll feed me," he said, standing up and moving towards the stairs.

"I'm sure she will," I laughed. He turned to glare at me but the smirk itching at his lips gave him away and he chuckled to – not denying it – before walking the rest of the way up the stairs.

I woke up on the couch groggy and confused. The TV was still on – the bright colors harsh to my sensitive eyes – and I quickly turned it off.

It was pitch black as I stumbled up the stairs and to my room, crashing as soon as I hit the bed.

I woke up for the second time around ten from the ringing of my phone. I searched blindly for it and flipped it open, answering with a tired, "Hello?"

The loud squealing on the other end told me it was clearly Alice.

"For the love of Jesus deafening Christ Pixie, _shut up_," I groaned.

I heard her huff but stay silent.

"Good girl. Now, what is it that you want so goddamn early in the morning?" I asked her.

"It's ten," she stated.

"Exactly. What do you want?"

I could almost hear her eyes rolling. "I just wanted to remind you to be ready by six thirty, the prom starts at seven. Got it?" she asked.

"Yes Alice, six thirty, got it."

"Good, make sure Jazz and Emmett are ready too. But especially Emmett, you know how he is."

I agreed.

"Alright, I got to go. The jacuzzi's waiting for me," she sang before the line went dead.

I flipped my phone shut and chucked it somewhere on the bed.

I wish I had a Jacuzzi.

It was six fifteen and I was standing by my door, dressed in the suit Alice picked out, with a scowl on my face as I waited for Emmett to come down.

"Dude, he takes longer than Rose," Jasper complained from beside me, his face contorted similar to mine.

I rolled my eyes. "I know. He spent twenty minutes on his hair alone," I told him.

He looked at me. "What hair?"

"Exactly."

Emmett finally descended the stairs at six twenty-three. I knew this because I was staring at my watch when I heard him come. I was nervously tapping my fingers on my outer thigh, praying he wouldn't make us late.

"Finally," I heard Jasper sigh. He was sitting against the wall next to me.

The limo was there at six twenty, so luckily we didn't have to wait for that too.

We got there with a minute to spare.

We walked up to the door and Jasper rang the bell.

"Dude, you live here. Why didn't you just walk in?" Emmett asked, moving to open the door.

Jasper shook his head, sticking his arm out to stop him. "Alice made me. Something about 'prom etiquette'," he said.

We all rolled our eyes.

The door opened and Jasper's mom greeted us with a warm smile.

"Well, don't you boys look handsome," she said, welcoming us in.

"And you, Lynnette, look just as beautiful as always," Emmett said, talking her hand and kissing it.

She smiled and shook her head, looking at me over his shoulder. "This one doesn't change, does he?"

"No he does not," I agreed, laughing along with her.

I heard footsteps and looked up to see Alice and Rose coming down the stairs, their eyes glued to their significant others.

Their dresses were similar in the fabric, as far as I could tell. Alice's was short and black, while Rose's was long and red, made with a shiny silk. There were scattered jewels around the front, sort of like a belt of fabric under their breasts, the buckle built of sparkling diamonds.

And then there was Bella.

As soon as I saw here, the rest of the room faded. I let my eyes linger on her face for a moment before trailing them down the rest of her body.

Her dark mahogany hair was curled, hanging loosely around her. Her dress was a deep blue, silky like Alice and Rose's but there were no diamonds. It was simple but that's what made her stand out. There was only one strap hanging delicately off of one shoulder, perfectly covering her tattoo – something I'm sure wasn't accidental.

She wore little make-up, but she was fuckhot without it anyways so it didn't make much of a difference. Her blush was prominent, though, making her face glow with a precious pink tinge as she stood under the light.

I stealthy adjusted myself as she came down the stairs.

When she finally got to me I took her in my arms, holding her away so that I could take all of her in.

"You are so breathtakingly beautiful," I whispered, almost in a trance. I was so lost and so hopelessly in love with this fucking spectacular creature that I was speaking in understatements. But, really, how could I ever possibly form the words to accurately describe her?

I couldn't.

She thanked me in a soft, sweet voice.

And then we stood for pictures.

What felt like ten hours later, we walked back outside and into the limo. When we climbed in and were seated, I took the opportunity to again, tell her how beautiful she was.

She smiled warmly at me and caught my lips with her own, pulling away shortly after to nuzzle into the crook of my neck.

"Bella!" Alice screeched.

Startled, Bella jumped up, knocking her head on my chin.

"Fuck!" I screamed, cradling my jaw.

"I'm sorry," Bella cried, turning to inspect the damage.

After she was sure I was going to live she turned to Alice, "What was that for?" she asked incredulously.

Alice looked rightfully ashamed. "I was just going to tell you not to mess up your hair."

We pulled into the parking lot then, and the limo swerved to a stop in front of the main entrance.

"Well, I'm sure there are easier ways to convey that message like, I don't know, _speaking at a normal volume _maybe? I mean, honestly, did you have to yell?" Bella asked as she scooted out of the limo.

I stopped listening to their bantering and turned to the school. It wasn't really decorated on the outside seeing how the rain would most defiantly destroy them anyways, but I could see the balloons and ribbons indoors.

"Alright, let's get this over with," I said, offering Bella the crook of my elbow.

She rolled her eyes with a grin and held onto my arm.

We filed into the school in twos, handing the tickets to the teacher patrolling the table by the gym's entrance before heading inside.

There were tables set up on the farthest end, a display set up for pictures and an open floor. There was music playing dimly and a few people dancing foolishly in a group but most people were sitting down.

The gym was fairly full and we had to struggle to find seats. Alice – having the eyes of a hawk – pointing some out in the middle.

"What did you guys order to eat?" Emmett asked, always thinking about food.

Rose rolled her eyes, most likely thinking the same thing.

"Emmett, Mr and Mrs. Grady at the diner are donating meals. There was only one choice; hamburger and fries," Alice told him, shaking her head in dismay.

I laughed because only in Forks would they serve you a hamburger at the prom.

The music was loud as we sat at the table, completely full.

Well, everyone except for Emmett.

"Emmett, I want to dance. Hurry up," Rose demanded.

"I'm almost done," he said through a mouthful of food before shoving in another bite.

We all cringed.

"Seriously, Emmett, that's disgusting," Alice said as Rose smacked him on the back of the head.

He swallowed and smiled innocently at her before finishing off the rest of his food.

When Emmett finally finished his third helping, everyone but Bella stood up.

As the group moved to the dance floor I stayed behind, sitting back down next to her and taking her hand in mine.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I can't dance."

I laughed and pointed to the group. "And do you really think any of us care?" I asked.

She grimaced as she watched Emmett do the 'robot', while Alice and Rose did some weird routine of their own. Jasper just kind of swayed.

"They're really bad," she decided, laughing along with me.

"Yeah." I nodded.

I stood up and tugged on her hand. She rolled her eyes and smiled, relenting.

And then we danced, albeit badly, all of us together in our perfectly insane group.

We were horrible and happy and just ridiculous.

And it was never better.

**Bella Swan**

I flopped down on a chair in exhaustion.

I had never had as much fun dancing in my life. I wasn't even embarrassed by how absolutely horrible at it I was, because everyone else sucked just as bad.

Maybe even worse.

The guys had gone to get us all drinks. Alice and Rose sat chatting excitedly next to me, the lights flashing in no particular order around us. I smiled.

They went on talking about 'first times' and the plans they had for tonight.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" Alice asked suddenly. The music was loud so we had found a quiet corner in the back so that we could hear each other.

I nodded. "Sure."

"Your tattoo," I gulped. "You never really told us who he was."

It was an innocent question. I had, not so accidently, let them just assume that he was a former boyfriend or something along those lines, not wanting to get into detail. But now I was full of guilt.

We had known each other a lot longer now, and a lot better. I should have told them about Aidan awhile ago.

But avoidance seemed like the best bet.

And now I was trapped.

"Here you go," Edward's voice saved me. I sighed in relief and smiled up at him.

"Thanks."

I turned to the girls, taking a deep breath. "I'll tell you about him tomorrow?" I questioned.

They both nodded eagerly, expecting some juicing story about the person tattooed across my heart.

They had no idea.

The prom went on. We danced more and acted foolish. It was a generally good time.

We got more pictures taken; lot's of Emmett running around with streamers torn off the walls. Different couples shots with each kissing and/or hugging.

And then I heard it.

Alice leaned into Jasper, her eyes bright and happy as she stroked his cheek. "I love you."

He grinned down at her, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "I love you too, Ali."

My eyes were wet and I didn't know why until I turned to Edward. He hadn't heard their quiet confessions because he was caught up in whatever tomfoolery Emmett was up to next, laughing and just being.

And I realized, like a slap to the face, that Edward was my _Jasper_. I didn't just _feel strongly_ about him, I loved him. Really loved him.

And not in the way I thought I loved James, but truly. And this time it wasn't fake, that much I knew from the tears that fell from his eyes a few nights ago.

I watched Edward. He looked so happy and that made me happy and I just stood there, smiling.

Alice came up behind me, her voice startling me. "Finally," she whispered, a knowing smile gracing her lips.

All I could do was shrug, turning back to stare at Edward.

The prom flew by after my revelation and I was sad, not wanting it to end.

But, like all good things do, it did.

Edward and I walked outside, hand-in-hand, and walked towards the parking lot.

When we reached Edward's spot, I stopped and grinned up at him.

"You really were an asshole when we first met," I told him.

He smiled and shrugged innocently. "No one ever put me in my place before you."

I laughed at his excuse and rolled my eyes. "Well good thing I did, because God only knows what would have happened if I didn't deflate that overgrowing ego of yours," I said, shaking my head.

He playfully glared at me and tugged at a piece of my hair, letting the loose curl spring gently.

"I was confident," he reworded. "And with good reason."

"Oh?" I asked.

He grinned. "I got you didn't I?" He leaned down, snatching my lips with his.

I hummed. "Yeah, I guess you did." I sighed happily.

I looked around; the group was still by the doors waiting for the limo to arrive, completely oblivious to what we were doing.

And then I looked back up to Edward and couldn't help but smile.

The night was calm but a little chilly so I moved closer into his arms, laying my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

'_Do it,'_ I thought. _'Tell him.'_

I took a deep breath, bit my lip and looked back up to meet his dark green eyes.

"Edward, can I tell you something?" I said quietly.

He hummed.

"Don't freak out?" I added.

He looked almost scared and I resisted the urge to palm my forehead.

_Of course he's going to freak out if you tell him _not_ to. _

"Okay, this is going to sound really random but..." Deep breath. "You know that night we talked? You played my song and had tears in your eyes, you were so vulnerable. My heart cracked at the sight of you." His eyebrows scrunched together. "You're so strong Edward, such a good person and you don't even know it. Everything you've done for me; caring for me, taking on all of my pain and baggage. You're helping me heal in the best way possible, because not only have you helped mend my mind and soul, but you put my heart back together again." His arms were loosely hanging onto me and I was starting to feel vulnerable so I decided to just get to the point. "Long story short is, I can't write you a song to show you what you mean to me, but... I can always tell you." Deep breath. "I love you Edward, thank you so much for just... being you," I finished off lamely.

I looked into his eyes as the darkness crept around us. The moon hung eerily in the sky, peeking out from the night covered clouds, casting just enough light to see his pale face, offering me the brightest of smiles.

We stood there quietly with barely any space in between us, the dim sound of music escaping the school.

And then he spoke, "Say it again."

I smiled at him, unable to contain it any longer and leaned up to kiss him on the lips, pulling back just enough to speak against them, "I love you."

If possible, his smile grew larger and he shook his head in disbelief.

If he didn't look so happy, I'd be discouraged that he hadn't said it back.

He pulled me tight against him, his hands reaching to cup both of my cheeks as he leaned in, kissing me hard and needy before pulling back and spinning me in his arms.

I squealed in laughter and hung onto him as he continued to spin us around, only setting us down when he got too dizzy to hold me without us falling.

Breathing deeply, he gazed down at me with the most breathtaking smile he whispered back, "I love you."

* * *

**Author's Note**: So cheesy, haha. Oh well. Hoped you guys enjoyed the feel goodness.

- Janicee.


	35. Another First

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Warning:** Lemon, as promised.

* * *

**Chapter 35: Another First**

**Bella Swan**

"You know, you kind of stole my thunder," Edward told me as he pulled back.

I gave him a curious look.

"How so?"

"Guys!" Alice hollered. "The limo's here!"

We both turned to look at her, waving her arms ridiculously, and nodded, walking hand-in-hand towards them.

"What do you mean I 'stole your thunder'?" I asked as we neared the long black limo.

Edward shook his head, tapping my nose gently. "I was totally going to tell you I loved you tonight."

I threw my head back and laughed. "Liar. You're just saying that because I already did. Trying to save face?"

"Pft," he waved his hand at me and then laughed, leaning down to kiss me before helping me into the car.

Everyone got dropped off before us, Emmett with Rosalie, Jasper with Alice. As the limo drove past my street, I smiled.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked.

I shrugged. "I kind of arranged a surprise."

He looked at me suspiciously. "What kind of surprise?"

I laughed. "Nothing bad, I promise."

We drove for awhile. Soft music flowing from the speakers and Edward humming the tune in my ear, my head tucked comfortably under his arm. I was so comfortable and content I had to force my eyes to stay open.

"Shit." I smiled at the moment he realized where we were. The limo halted in front of the doors and the driver rounded the vehicle to let us out.

"Come on," I said and tugged him along with me.

"A hotel, Bella?" He looked up at the tall building and corrected himself. "A _five star_ hotel?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Would you rather a shitty motel with dirty sheets?"

He thought about it. "Um, no," he laughed, taking my hand and letting me tow him inside.

He hugged me to him as I led us towards the registration desk.

The girl at the counter batted her eyelashes as we came towards her and I stiffened before attempting to burn her with my glare.

She didn't even flinch. _Bitch._

"Swan," I told her, when she asked for a name.

"Number?" she asked, smiling seductively at Edward.

I barred my teeth.

She took her sweet time as she typed the necessary information into the computer, taking the proffered credit card from my hand. I groaned, crossing my arms as I stared incredulously at her. She simply smirked at me before turning her gaze back to Edward, handing him _my_ credit card and the room key and, purposely I'm sure, letting her fingers brush against his as she offered her services should he need them at any time.

Slut.

"I hate girls," I decided as we walked away. I turned around once more to glare at the front desk.

Edward let out a loud laugh causing the few people in the lobby to stare at us. I smacked his chest and hit the 'up' button on the elevator.

"Why is that?" he asked in amusement, soothing his chest.

The elevator dinged and we waited for the few people on it to exit before walking in. Edward pressed the button for the sixteenth floor.

"They flirt too much," was my excuse.

He chuckled at me even though it clearly wasn't a laughing matter.

And then the elevator got quiet, tension slowly building as we got higher up. I was growing more nervous every floor we passed, thinking about the reasons why we were here... in a hotel.

We had briefly talked about this is our past explorations. And I mean _briefly_. I was still scared of that phone call.

'_But he loves you,'_ my mind reminded me, and I looked over at the boy in question and felt myself smile. Because he did. He loved me.

But I was still nervous.

Wrapping my arms together, I looked around the large metal box, my foot tapping anxiously below me.

Edward brought his hand to my face, smoothing out the creases in my brow. I knew I was being ridiculous. I wasn't a virgin – the named tattooed on my chest proof of that. But again, it wasn't the pain that frightened me.

It was the phone call.

"Hey," Edward's voice called, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked up at him, his hand moved down to cradle my cheek. He stared back at me with a saddened expression.

"It's just me," he told me, pulling me into his arms.

I tensed up, took a deep breath, and then let myself relax into his embrace.

It was just Edward.

_Edward._

This wasn't James. He wouldn't hurt me.

_Because he loves me. _

I nodded against him, squeezing him tighter to me. "I know."

The elevators reached our floors and the doors opened. Edward grabbed my hand and coasted me out.

"It's just me," he reminded me.

I nodded and followed behind him.

When we got to our room, Edward smiled.

I smiled back. This was my surprise, I reminded myself, I made this choice. I'm ready.

"Close your eyes," I told him.

"Why?"

I sighed. "Just do it, Edward."

So he did.

I slid the card into the door and pushed it open, grabbing Edward by the hand.

"Walk forward," I instructed.

Doing as told, he walked blindly into the room, using me as his guide.

"Can I look now?" he asked.

"One minute. Stay right there," I told him. I grabbed the lighter Rose left me on the nightstand and lit the candles around the room.

"Can I look now?" he repeated.

I laughed and then walked back over him. "Okay, I know this is cheesy and ridiculous. But I'm a girl and I'm allowed to be every once and a while," I told him.

He laughed out loud.

"Okay, you can look."

I watched him open his eyes and just like _that_ all the tension, the nervousness I felt before, was gone and there was just... love. He was so perfect.

"Wow," he breathed as he took in the candlelit room, and the goofy flower petals gracing the covers of the bed.

I walked forward, letting my fingers trail the colourful flowers before looking back over at Edward. He smiled and walked towards me.

I wasn't insecure. If there was anything good about my time with James it was that I had come out of my shell, so to speak. Even if it was just a little.

And now I felt so at ease and happy and just in love.

He squinted his eyes as he reached me. "If I didn't know any better, Swan, I'd think you were trying to seduce me with all of this." He gestured around.

I shrugged with a smile. "Good thing you know better then, Cullen, or this could have been a really awkward situation."

He smiled down at me. "Thank you," he said and leaned down to kiss me.

I sighed happily. "You're welcome."

I pulled his arms around me and placed mine around his neck, leaning in for another kiss. And then another.

"Besides," I thought out loud, placing another feather light kiss on his lips. "I kinda like that I got to be the dude in this relationship for a night."

He barked out a laugh and half spun me. "This is the only time you'll get the opportunity, so embrace it," he warned. "Because after tonight I'm taking my man card back and locking it up this time."

I loved him.

Things got serious quickly and suddenly and he looked into my eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Because I know you did all of this, but I'll understand if you change your mind."

There was no doubt at all as I told him, "I'm sure."

I smiled against him and then looked over to the mattress, the white blanket covered with reds, pinks and purples.

He made me happy, so unbelievably happy.

"I love you," I whispered quietly.

And with that I squeezed his hand and pulled him over to the bed.

We didn't rush; it wasn't a fight for dominance or a race to get off. We took our time, slowly exploring each other, examining each mark or imperfection – those things that the person you loved would cherish.

Edward trailed butterfly kisses up my stomach, placing a gentle kiss on the cursive writing above my heart before leaning down to capture my naked breast in his mouth. I closed my eyes and my hand reached out to soothe his hair, the other's fingers ghosting along the back of his shoulder.

I shuddered as he gently blew on the now wet skin of my nipple – warmth quickly turning to cool, soft skin hardening. Slowly, he leaned down, capturing it once again, his hand sliding up my waist, my ribcage, until it cupped my other breast, slowly attending to that as well.

I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against the pillow. Edward never stopped, giving equal attention to each breast, breathing heavily through his nose onto my sensitive skin.

Eventually I couldn't take any more and I pulled him up, capturing his lips with mine. Slowly – sensually – I eased my tongue out, letting it glide along his bottom lip in a silent question which was met with an encouraging groan.

Trailing my hands down his muscular back – the skin there tensing and relaxing under my touch – I reached down and around, my fingers searching for the buttons to release him of his barrier.

I moaned into the kiss, his tongue flicking against mine, pushing it back as he explored my mouth.

He groaned as I slipped the zipper of his pants down, using my feet to slide them off and shove them onto the floor. And then his long fingers crept up, hooking onto my panties and pulling them down, discarding them onto the floor as well.

The cold air caused another gush of wetness to leak from my already wet and pulsing core and my thighs clenched, pulling Edward tighter against me.

The only thing between us now was his briefs but as I went to remove them, Edward grabbed my hand, stopping me.

"Wait," he pleaded.

I gave him a curious look but nodded, bringing my hand, instead, back around him.

His fingers left a trail of gooseflesh as they traveled down to where I was hot and needy, squirming against Edward's hold.

Edward brought his hand down, cupping me gently before slowly and deliciously pushing a finger inside.

"Jesus, Bella you're so wet," he groaned, closing his eyes as he manoeuvred his finger in the most amazing and frustrating ways possible.

I bucked my hips involuntarily and, in response, Edward eased another finger inside me.

He worked my body expertly, his thumb rubbing against my clit as his fingers thrusted in, out, back in, curling up and hitting places my own small fingers couldn't even attempt to reach, until the heat in my stomach became too much and exploded.

"Edward," I moaned loudly, gripping his forearm as my muscles clenched and my toes curled, my mouth popping open ridiculously.

After coming down, I opened my eyes to see Edward staring down at me, a proud smile gracing his lips.

He should be proud.

My hands reached again for his briefs and this time he let me, leaning up so that I could more easily push them off. Before they even reached the floor my hand was on him, stroking him, which earned me an approving growl.

"Bella," he breathed as my thumb glided over the head and spread the pre-cum that was leaking there around it.

His hips bucked into my hand and I smiled as I kept stroking him, occasionally dragging my nails up and squeezing a little harder.

Edward grunted as he moved against me, his eyes tight in concentration, until he abruptly stopped, reached down and pulled my hand away.

"Stop," he told me, his teeth clenched together tightly.

I understood immediately why and nodded.

Quickly, Edward jumped off the bed, grabbed his dress pants from the floor and dug through the pockets until he found what he was looking for.

I raised my eyebrow at him in amusement and he shrugged, his cheeks a little flushed.

Climbing back up to me, he ripped open the square foil package and retrieved the condom, reaching down to slide it on.

After he was situated between my legs, he stilled. In an act so loving and gentle I could only smile, his hand reached up and stroked my face before he leaned down and kissed me.

"I love you," he told me after we broke apart.

He waited until I smiled and nodded before he rested his forehead against mine and eased in.

We both moaned at the feeling of the other, my body immediately stretching to accommodate him.

Our eyes stayed open, never wandering away from each other's as we slowly rocked together, time seemingly frozen.

My right hand found itself locked with his left above my head, while his other was lightly cupping my cheek, holding my lips to his, my legs wrapped securely around him.

We were connected in every way possible.

The quiet air was filled with the occasional moans and groans, hard breathing and each other's names whispered into the night. But no matter how much we needed it, how desperate we were, we held off, prolonging the moment.

When all the feelings, the sensations around us became too much, our thrusts grew more eager, finally searching for the release we'd been denying ourselves for what felt like hours and minutes all at once.

Our breathing was heavy and laboured, our chests rising and falling as damp skin slapped together, random and messy kisses being placed periodically.

The burning in my stomach grew, spreading wider throughout my body and I leaned up, capturing his lips with mine again before bringing them to his ear.

"I love you," I moaned, meeting each and every thrust.

His eyes snapped closed and I could tell he was trying to hold off for just a little while longer.

"Let go," I whispered.

With a few final thrusts, he groaned, his head resting into the crook of my neck, as we both fell over the edge.

Together.

**Edward Cullen**

I trailed my fingers up and down her spine as I thought about the night's events.

Bella told me she loved me.

_Loved me. _

And even though she _did_ technically steal my thunder, I didn't give a shit.

I was just too fucking happy.

Her eyes were falling closed and I could tell she was tired because, well, sex would do that to you.

'_But this was so much more,'_ I thought with a smile.

I wasn't lying when I told Bella I could wait, that she didn't have to. I wanted her to _want _this with me, not do it because she thought it was what _I_ wanted. She had to be sure.

And then she told me she wanted to and I couldn't deny her. I couldn't deny either of us anymore.

I leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her head, and she snuggled closer to me, humming happily.

"I love you," she murmured against my chest.

I tucked a messy curl behind her ear. "I love you, too."

It wasn't long before her breathing slowed down and her hold on me loosened and I smiled sadly at her still form, my fingers still lazily tracing the contours of her back, as I whispered, "_That _should have been your first time."

There was a beat of silence before her quiet, sleepy voice filled the air.

"It was."

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**Author's Note:** Meaning the first time 'making love' as opposed to sex. Just saying.

So... that was pretty much my first real (not fantasized or dreamt) lemon, in character and all that. So it'd be pretty nifty if you could tell me whether it sucked and I should just write 'T' for now on because 'M' is not my forté, or if they should sex up more often.

Either or, really.

Thanks for the reviews, it means a lot.

- Janicee.


	36. Epilogue: Graduation

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Epilogue: Graduation**

**Bella Swan**

I sighed in the mirror as I adjusted my cap, staring awkwardly back at myself. Taking a couple more minutes to inspect my reflection, I deemed myself acceptable and left the bathroom, carefully making my way down the stairs.

"Bells, do you want any of this?" Charlie asked as he held up some of the juice he was pouring for himself.

My mouth was dry but my stomach was queasy so I shook my head 'no' and sat down.

"You look good," he told me, sitting down in front of me.

I looked down at the ridiculous blue robe; the sleeves pinned back because of their length, and scrunched my face up, shaking my head. The tassel on my cap tickled my nose and it twitched.

Charlie laughed at me, taking a sip of his juice and grabbed the paper, opening it to the front page.

I watched the clock.

It was quarter after twelve and we had to be at the school around one, the waiting was torturous and only seemed to feel longer as I followed the hand on the clock, making it's slow pace around each number.

Signing impatiently, I let my mind wander – thinking about the last few days.

I woke up in Edward's arms the morning after the prom – completely naked. At first thoughts of the morning after James and I had our first time flashed through my mind but as I looked down at Edward, his face so sweet and content, I shook my head.

He was different. _This_ was different.

So I cuddled back into Edward's embrace, drawing silly designs on his chest as I waited for him to wake up.

_One bright green eye opened, staring at me in a morning haze, before a bright smile graced his lips and he rolled over so that he hovered above me. _

"_Last night was real," he breathed, leaning down to kiss me gently. "I can't believe it."_

_I smiled up at him, reaching out to slide a bang out of his face. "Me neither," I told him honestly. _

_He chuckled at me, leaned down and captured my lips once more._

_We finally got out of bed around noon, showering quickly and changing into the clothes Edward had apparently packed with the help of Alice before checking out. _

"_So you're going to tell them today?" Edward asked. One of his hands rested stiffly on the wheel while the other held mine. He gave me a gently squeeze._

_For a minute my breath caught, like the air was whisked right out of me and I couldn't breathe, the panic building quickly as I gasped for air._

_Edward, freaking out, pulled the car over on the side of the road and turned to me. _

"_Bella?" he asked frantically. "Look at me, Bella." I did as told and he took my face in his hands as my chest heaved up and down. "You have to breathe. Come on baby, breathe," he instructed. I closed my eyes, my hands gripping onto his forearms as I inhaled deeply and let it out, feeling my muscles relax slightly. "That's it; there you go, just breathe." _

_He continued soothing me, stroking my hair and hushing calming words as I attempted to catch my breath, which was a much harder task than it should have been. _

"_Are you okay?" he asked after I had been breathing normally for a couple of minutes._

_My eyes were still closed and I nodded, opening them to meet his worried ones. "Yeah, just... freaked out a little," I said meekly. _

_He sighed heavily. "You scared me," he admitted, shaking his head slowly. "You don't have to tell them yet if you're not ready."_

_I shook my head. "No, I'm ready. I mean, I'll never really be ready but I just... want to get it off my chest, you know? I need everything to be out in the open," I explained._

_He sat quietly for a minute, watching my eyes carefully before he nodded. "Okay," he told me, leaning in and kissing me on the cheek. "If you're sure."_

_He carefully pulled the car back onto the highway, the rest of the drive quiet with only the light music from the speakers in the air, and it seemed like no time at all had passed before I was at his house, my hand in his, staring down at four of my anxious friends as I prepared to tell them all about my past. _

"Bella?" My dad's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him. He looked at me and then pointedly at the clock. "It's ten to, we've got to go," he explained.

"Oh!" I hopped out of my seat, looking around the room. Why? I don't know. I was nervous.

After finally coming to my senses that I didn't actually _need_ anything in the kitchen, I rolled my eyes at myself and rushed to the stairs, throwing on the chucks that Alice specifically forbade me to wear and scurried out to the cruiser where Charlie was now waiting.

"Alright, kiddo, you ready?" he asked me as I buckled in.

I took a deep breath, smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I am."

When we got to the school it was already crowded and Charlie stood by my side awkwardly as we weaved around people in search of my mother.

I smiled when I spotted her and walked a little faster, flinging myself into her arms.

"I missed you, mom," I told her, squeezing her tightly. I hadn't gone this long without seeing her my entire life.

She pulled apart, holding me at arm's length as she looked me over and smiled. "You look good baby, I'm so proud of you."

I grinned at her and shrugged, moving to greet Phil.

"Bella!" I heard through the murmurs of other students and their parents.

Scanning the crowd, my eyes landed on my friends all waving me over.

"Come on, there's some people I want you to meet." I grabbed her hand and dragged her over, Phil and Charlie trailing behind.

"Bella!" Alice squealed. "You look so good."

I smiled at her and tugged my mom a little closer. "Mom, these are my friends; Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett." I pulled her in front of Edward and smiled a little bigger. "And this is my boyfriend, Edward."

My mom squealed, sounding suspiciously like Alice, and pulled him into her arms. "Thank you for making my baby happy," I heard her say. I blushed and smiled before turning around, letting the two of them talk.

"So Bella," Alice said, pulling me away from our group of friends. "Did you wear the shoes I laid out for you?" she asked.

I gave her a cheeky smiled and she groaned.

"You wore your chucks, didn't you?" she asked flatly.

"Your hair looks really nice, Alice," I changed the subject.

She laughed happily and hugged me, like nothing at all had changed.

--

_Their eyes were watery as I retold my story, Edward holding me tightly from behind. Each time I'd mention James, his arms would tighten around me and I'd notice the shift in my friends as well, but thankfully they stayed quiet. _

_At the very end, Alice stood up, her cheeks blotchy and her eyes bloodshot and she hugged me, whispering soothing words in my ears as our friends gathered around, each waiting their turn to comfort me. _

It was hard. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't and I'd be lying if I said I never cried, because I did.

And it still hurt; the pain ripping at my heart, the burning in my throat, the sting in my eyes but I persevered because I had to.

That day was full of emotion. A mix of pain, sorrow and anger but most of all there was love. Love from my friends who – no matter what – stood by me and let me lean on them.

They were there to put me back together.

--

It wasn't long before they began seating us in the order in which we'd be called and, sadly, I was nowhere near any of my friends. Instead, I was placed at the end of an aisle, firmly next to none other than Jessica Stanley.

She had calmed down a little with her attacks, but she was still petty. I only hoped that after today, she'd learn to let that part of her go.

I found it hard to focus as Mr. Hudson began the ceremony, his monotone voice growing more distant as he went on. So, instead, I thought about everything I've achieved since coming here.

I had been through a lot; Hell and back. But the point was that I made it back. I had the support of good, real friends and a family to help me through and even if I wasn't completely healed yet, I would be. It would just take time.

My first therapy session was in a couple of weeks and despite being a little scared, I was ready. This was for me, I knew this now. I needed this to fully let myself live – to love.

I watched as the principal began calling names, and then as each student walked up to receive their diploma. My leg was jumpy, my fingers tapping aimlessly on my lap and I bit my lip nervously. I was anxious but, more than that, I was excited. I was excited to say goodbye to my past. I wouldn't forget it, but I'd leave it behind where it was meant to be.

"Alice Brandon," the principal called.

I watched my small friend skip up the stairs effortlessly, shake the principal's hand, and take her diploma. She then reached up and moved the little gold tassel hanging from her cap and switched it over to the other side before skipping off and sitting next to the other students on the stage.

"Edward Cullen."

Edward stood up and walked up the stairs confidently. I couldn't help but follow each step, each movement of his body, with a content sigh. When he reached the principal's side he scanned the crowd, his eyes squinting against the lighting, until they landed on me and his face broke out into a heart-warming smile.

I grinned, knowing that without a doubt, if there was anything I was thankful for, it was him.

Forks had definitely surpassed any of my expectations. Originally it was an escape; a place to run away from the ridicule – the hate – from those who just didn't understand. I had lost my son and someone who I had thought I loved; only to find out that everything I thought I knew was a lie. I had lost friends, my grades were slipping and I wasn't the same me. I lost everything.

What I didn't expect to find in Forks was love, real friends and happiness. But, like a wise man once said, 'sometimes life shits on you; it's inevitable and unpredictable. And when the crowd stops and stares; despite the shame inside, you just have to stand up, wipe your eyes clean and pray for a little rain'.

And if there was anything I learned in all my time here, it was that when Forks rains, it pours.

I vaguely heard my name being called and my head snapped up as I rose to my feet. I felt like all eyes were on me as I made my way up the stairs and towards the principal.

Grasping his hand in one of mine and my diploma in the other, I smiled as he offered his congratulations before reaching up with pride and moving the tassel to the other side.

I earned this.

Taking my seat next to Jessica, I waited as the final names were called and the valedictorian was announced, "Angela Webber."

She smiled shyly, her face a dark red as she nervously walked over to the podium, cleared her throat and began her speech.

It started rather normal; nothing really standing out as she read off a few inspirational quotes from famous people and commented on them – relating them to us. But as she neared the end, I sat a little straighter listening to the words she managed to connect together and make something out of nothing that was meaningful.

She paused, took a deep breath and smiled. "For some people, high school is the highlight of their lives, the moments they look back on with the most pride. But in the end, this is really just the first step – the foundation – but by far not the last. So when you look back on these years, remembering the pranks you pulled with the friends you had once upon a time, do it with fondest but with the knowledge that it was simply the start because, really, this is just the beginning."

And as people cheered, caps flying into the air while parents stood to applaud, I smiled.

Because she's right; it was.

**

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Author's note: **I don't know what to say. This is it for this story, I guess. There will be a sequel sometime in the future but not right away. But, if there's anything you're desperate to see in the future, here would be the place to let me know.

Thank you guys for reading and for all of your reviews, it really means a lot.

- Janicee.


	37. Author's Note: Sequel's Up

**Sequel's up!**


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